Legolas sighed inwardly as walked down the long corridor. How could two weeks have gone by so slowly? It didn't feel like two weeks – it felt like a lot, lot longer. The days had been hard at first, to get through, but Elladan and Elrohir helped him greatly. The nights were different, though, for there were no twins around when he was in bed, dreaming.

'I wish I could make the nights go away,' the Prince thought miserably. 'I don't like seeing Nana falling again – it makes me cry when I wake up.'

Although his mother never left his thoughts, Legolas wasn't always sad. During the daytime, especially with Airëlus and the twins, he could feel at least a little happier. Calaen, though...was a different matter. He had gone very quiet, and was often found to be on his own. When Legolas tried to spend time with him, excuses were always made.

'I don't mind,' the child reflected. 'Mithrandir said it his way of getting better, so that's alright.'

Caught up in his thoughts, Legolas did not bother knocking as he pushed open the door to his father's study. "Ada, do you know where Elladan and El..." He trailed off and blushed, as he realised that the King was not alone. "Oh! Good morning Mithrandir, Lord Elrond."

"Please, feel free to walk straight in," Thranduil said dryly. He smiled though, when his son coloured even more. "What was it you wanted?"

"I'm sorry for not asking permission to come in here," Legolas replied, "but, do you know where Elladan and Elrohir are?"

"I am sorry, they have gone out riding with your brothers," Elrond said. "I am sure they will be back soon."

Legolas unconsciously pouted – he had dreamt of Findilan again in the night. Every other time he had those dreams, he would tell the twins what had happened, and they could always make him feel better. But until he had spoken to them, a shadow would always hang over him.

"They didn't tell me they would be going," he said miserably.

"That is because you would want to go with them, but you are too young yet, to go out riding without any adult protection," Gandalf replied. "You are better off here."

Legolas nodded. "Oh, I understand that. I can ride, and I'm getting better at it, aren't I? You said that I'm very good."

Thranduil looked down as he realised that he was the one being addressed. "What? Oh, yes. Yes, you are very good."

The child smiled under the praise as he turned back to the Wizard and other Elf. "But I'm only allowed to go out riding in the forest if Ada and Nana are with me, because..." He trailed off suddenly.

"What did you say?" Thranduil demanded, sounding harsher than he meant.

"I didn't mean to, I forgot," Legolas breathed. Tears filled his eyes. "No! No, I didn't forget, Ada, I couldn't forget her. I'm sorry!"

The King shook his head and gently lifted the boy into his arms, whilst Elrond and Gandalf watched in silent sympathy. Today was just...one of those days, it seemed. He himself had woken that morning, wishing that he could stay alone all day, and not have to face anyone.

'Life must go on,' Thranduil thought bitterly, absent-mindedly stroking Legolas' hair. 'It is just that some days are harder than others. Today is not the first time I have felt like this. I doubt it will be the last.'

"I didn't mean to," Legolas whispered into his father's chest. "I didn't."

At a glance from Gandalf, Elrond stepped forward and gently took the Prince into his own arms. "What say you and I go to find some food? You have not yet breakfasted, have you?"

"Not hungry," Legolas muttered. "Can I stay here?"

Elrond arched an eyebrow. "I heard you wanted to be a warrior, and fight in battles."

"Yes."

"Well, to be a warrior you must be strong. And to be strong, you must eat good meals," Elrond continued. "It makes sense, does it not?"

"Alright."

Thranduil nodded his thanks to the other Elf as he departed the room, taking Legolas with him. Then he turned to Gandalf. "You planned that."

"Yes, whilst the child was crying into your shoulder," the Wizard replied calmly, though his eyes were suddenly piercing. "He did not mean to say what he did, Thranduil. It is easy enough for the tongue to slip, or the words to flow before it is possible to stop them. It has only been a few weeks - for one to 'forget', as he put it, is quite common."

"I was not angry with him, and nor did I mean to sound so sharp when I spoke," Thranduil said uncomfortably. "I was merely startled. I did not expect him to come out with something like that, trivial though it may seem."

Gandalf nodded, and absent-mindedly lit his pipe. "Yes, I motioned to Elrond to take Legolas, because I wish to know something. What troubles you?"

"What do you...? I don't..." Thranduil waved a hand irritably as smoke drifted his way. "Nothing is troubling me, Mithrandir, but I thank you for your concern."

"You have been edgy all morning. Do not think I haven't noticed. If someone should disturb your thoughts, you snap at them," Gandalf said sternly. "You have not eaten, and whenever I glance over at you, your eyes are fixed always on the walls."

"Oh, I did not realise that looking at my own walls was a crime," Thranduil replied.

"Do not be petulant, you are no child," Gandalf said. He sighed, and his expression softened. "I am your friend, and I am your guide through this hard time. Please, will you not share your troubles?"

Thranduil lowered his eyes. "I...I had a dream last night," he confessed eventually.

"Of what?"

"The day that Findilan passed on," the King sighed. "You do not need to know all of the details – in truth, I do not wish to re-live that day in its entirety. Anyway, I lost my temper at Legolas, for something trivial. He was very distressed, and I knew that. I should have apologised for causing him such sadness, but at the time, I could only speak tauntingly to him, and mock him. He ran away."

Gandalf involuntarily winced at the look of pain on Thranduil's face. "Go on."

"Findilan was very angry with me, and of course, she had every right to be. She said..." The Elf bit on his lip, and continued quietly, "'your temper and sarcasm will be the death of someone one of these days.'"

The Wizard winced again as realisation hit. "You do not think that...do you? Oh, you must not blame yourself."

"I don't," Thranduil said quickly. "But, the dream made me realise that if I had not lost my temper, then Legolas would not have run off, and Findilan would not have followed him. Mithrandir, it is nothing to worry about. It was merely a painful realisation."

"So I imagine," Gandalf murmured. Sighing, he puffed again on his pipe, not noticing as Thranduil scowled at the rising smoke. "Blame is needless at the best of times, but especially at a time like this. What happened was no-one's fault, and it is wrong to think otherwise."

"I know," Thranduil nodded. "But, dreams are uncontrollable." He paused, and glanced over at the Wizard. "I have not yet thanked you."

"Whatever for?" Gandalf asked, as though surprised.

Thranduil shrugged lightly. "For being here. I have much to thank you for, as I know that there are times when my grief has threatened to overwhelm me, and there are times when I feel so helpless. I owe much to both you and Elrond."

The Wizard looked at the Elf and shook his head. "No. You owe much to your children. You owe them your love and your time, because they cannot pull through without that. Just remember that."

............................................................................................................

Lord Elrond shook his head as one of the servants came forward and asked if he wanted anything. "No, thank you, but Prince Legolas will have some food."

The Prince in question was sitting at the table, staring in silence at the ground. He had not spoken very much since leaving his father's study – hardly at all, in fact. When Elrond came and sat beside him, he did not even look up, choosing to keep his eyes fixed firmly downwards.

"You seem to have become very friendly with my sons," the Elf said after a while.

"I like them," Legolas nodded. He did not elaborate.

Elrond sighed, and reached out to put a hand on the child's shoulder. "You are very sad, I can see that. The reason they did not tell you they were going riding, is because they knew that you would not be able to go with them, and they did not want to leave behind a very upset Elfling. They thought they would be back before you awoke."

"I don't care about that!" Legolas snapped. He glared up at the startled Elf-lord for a moment, and then buried his face in his hands. "I don't care that they didn't tell me they were going. I just want to talk to them."

"I understand that," Elrond said gently. "But, has it not crossed your mind that maybe your brothers wish to spend some time with then? I know that Elladan and Elrohir enjoy being with you, but they are also friendly with Calaen and Airëlus."

"I didn't mean to be selfish," Legolas muttered.

With that, the child got up and went to the doors at the end of the room. He walked calmly, with his head held high, but Elrond's sharp gaze did not miss the way that his shoulders shook as he obviously tried to hold back tears.

"It is a grievous thing, that you should go through this at such a young age," the Elf said quietly. "But, there will be more to come. Pain is something that comes with life, and you will find that out one day."

............................................................................................................

The four young Elves rode in silence through the forest, watching for any sign of movement in the trees. Elladan rode with Airëlus at the front, Elrohir was in the middle, and Calaen was at the back. His eyes were focused on the ground moving beneath him, his trust put in his horse to follow the others, and not stumble.

He had not wanted to come out today, but had been quick to accept the offer when Airëlus had commented that maybe it was better, him not going – he could stay with Legolas, instead. A few odd looks had been sent his way at the quick change of heart, but he ignored them.

"I think that maybe we should return home," Airëlus said, reigning in his horse.

"And, where is home?" Elladan asked.

"Excuse me?"

"We have no idea where your home is. Well, we're fine when there's a straight path to follow, but we have gone off the path," Elrohir explained. "Both of us are absolutely useless when it come to directions."

"Geographically challenged," Elladan nodded.

Airëlus smiled, though it quickly faded when his brother rode past them, through the trees. "Cal, what are you doing?"

"I thought you said we should return home," the other Prince called back, his voice flat.

The twins glanced at each other, and then across at Airëlus. There was a distant look in his eyes, as though he was trying hard to remember something. Elrohir was about to ask him if everything was well, but Elladan silenced him with a shake of his head.

"Oh no!" Airëlus suddenly gasped, as realisation hit. "Come, we must stop him!"

............................................................................................................

Calaen pulled his horse to a halt as his gaze fell on the tree standing before him. It was not just any tree; it was the tree, the tree his mother had fallen from. This was the first time he had even ventured near the clearing since Findilan had died.

"Why?" he breathed. "Why did I come here?"

This wasn't the way back to the palace. He had known that even as he had ridden through the trees, but he had been powerless to stop himself, to turn the horse around, and go in the other direction. It was as though he had been drawn there, by some invisible force.

Calaen jumped lightly to the ground, and walked, as though in a trance, to the base of the tree. "Why did you have to fall, Naneth?" he whispered, dropping to his knees and pulling his fingers through the leaves littered on the floor. "Why did you climb the tree? And why aren't you here now? It's not fair. It's not fair!"

He leaped to his feet again, and with a yell of rage, pulled out his knife and raised his arm. He wanted to slash the mocking, light brown face of the tree in front of him; he wanted to punish it for taking his mother away. But as he brought the blade down, a hand from behind him wrapped around his wrist.

"Cal, put it down," Airëlus said gently.

The dark haired Elf pulled himself free, but did not turn. "I wish to be alone."

"No, I will not leave you alone whilst you are in this state," Airëlus replied. "Come back with me. Being in this place is only making you feel worse."

"I am fine," the younger Prince choked out. But the tears in his eyes betrayed him.

"Don't do this to yourself," Airëlus breathed. "By standing here and looking once more at this place, you are only torturing yourself further. Calaen, do not punish yourself."

Calaen let his knife fall to the ground, and then he himself sank down also. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and buried his face in the crook of his arm. So many feelings flashed through him. He was angry, helpless, confused. All the feelings that he had felt two weeks ago, were multiplied threefold. He didn't know what to do.

"It's alright," Airëlus whispered, kneeling on the ground and pulling his brother to him.

"How can it be?" Calaen exhaled deeply, and closed his eyes.

The Crown Prince was silent as he ran his fingers through the other Elf's dark hair. "There is little I can say to make you feel better. But please, you must hold onto hope. If you have no hope, what do you have?"

"I want her back," Calaen breathed, burying his face into his brother's strong chest. "I would give anything to see her, even if it was for just one minute."

"I know, I know that you would," Airëlus said gently. "As would I, and so would Ada and Legolas. But we cannot have her back, no matter how much we wish for it."

At the mention of his younger brother's name, Calaen tensed. Much had changed between himself and Legolas, and he knew that it was all because of the horrific thoughts of blame which had plagued his mind. Were they still? He couldn't even properly answer his own questions.

Airëlus sat back on his heels, but did not remove his hands from his brother's shoulders. "Please, dry your tears. It saddens me to see you like this."

"I'm sorry," Calaen shook his head. "I just...miss her."

"Do not apologise for showing your grief," Airëlus replied. "Grief serves to ease the pain of the heart."

The younger Elf nodded, and pulled a hand across his eyes. "Where are Elladan and Elrohir?"

Airëlus noticed the swift change of subject, but decided not to comment on it. "They are waiting through the trees. They thought it best that only I came after you."

"I suppose we should go back to them," Calaen smiled weakly. "What was it they called themselves? Geographically challenged. I'm sure it is within their abilities to get lost without even moving."

Airëlus breathed an inward sigh of relief as his brother stood up once more. He was glad to see the younger Elf laugh again, even though his eyes were sad and his smile strained. But, the Crown Prince was unaware of just how deep Calaen's painful turmoil went.

............................................................................................................

Again, I am really sorry about the delay. Luckily, my computer is up and running again, so updates will be every other day, like they used to be. Thanks so much for being patient with my very slow computer (whose name, by the way, is James). He's been quite ill recently, so we can't blame him. I have a cold right now, so I sympathise with him. Anyway, I need to go and sleep, so I'll see you on Friday.