Shiki made sure that his poker face was extra solid as he accepted the large envelope that contained his mental evaluation result from the front desk. It was a smidge difficult to keep his eye from twitching every time he heard loud crashes resounding from within the depth of his mind, but he somehow managed until he left the Intelligence Division building.
He ducked into the first izakaya he saw and sat in the darkest corner after ordering a jug of sake and a plateful of snacks. With his hands occupied with alcohol and his body language radiating his desire to drink on his lonesome, he blended in and became just another brooding patron in this seedy establishment.
A breath later and Shiki could feel his eyelids droop as he half entered his mind palace - still aware of his surroundings despite focusing inwards.
The golden corridor he appeared in looked a little pathetic covered in newspaper and magazine clippings... so Shiki promised himself that he would return it to its pristine and majestic glory the next time he visited. For now, he brisk-walked towards the giant doors of the library.
The first thing he noted upon entering was that it looked as if a tornado had swept by; books and scrolls littered the floor, couches flipped and the furniture either smashed or broken into bitty pieces.
From the state of his mind palace... it could be said that Shinkichi was not a happy camper. Shiki could feel an incoming headache despite the reinforced firewalls the freeloader had installed on their latest software update.
After a few moments of looking around, "Shi-sōrō? Shi-chan?" Shiki called out to the empty, disarrayed library. Where did his two inners go? Shiki was beginning to worry the longer he did not see them.
Fortunately, Shizuka responded by leaning most of her upper body on the third-floor railings to wave downward at Shiki, calling for his attention.
"Up here, Shiki. Sorry, but do you mind checking up on Shinchiki? He's on the second floor. He be a tad upset about the... you know... peck on the cheek thing - which I would've shipped if this was an anime. But alas, ugh, cooties from a 3D person! I don't blame Shinkichi for reacting the way he did. Groooosss!" Shizuka pretended to gag before disappearing back to the third floor... to return to doing whatever it was she was doing before his appearance.
"... A tad upset?" Shiki deadpanned whilst looking around the wrecked library. If this was the result of Shinkichi being mildly upset, Shiki did not want to know what his dark passenger would have done if he was extremely upset. Probably go on ritual killings...
Climbing up the stairs, Shiki had to wonder if Namikaze did that as a prank or if he actually liked-like him... yeah, no. Perish those thoughts. It was most definitely just a prank. There was no way Namikaze liked-like him. In canon, Namikaze had a baby with Uzumaki Kushina, who he has had a crush on since childhood from how the anime portrays it in the flashbacks. There was no way he would try to get into Shiki's pants when Kushina was in the picture. This world was literally made for their son Naruto.
That meant Namikaze was either a very touchy-like person who showed a lot of physical affection, or he was just one massive troll. Adult Kakashi had to get it from somewhere, right?
Relieved that that was now settled, Shiki pushed the second-floor door open with ease of mind... and immediately had to duck from a book that landed where his head had been just a second ago.
"-twatwagon of a minger most definitely had a dad who smells of elderberries and a mother who is a hamster-"
Shiki raised an impressed eyebrow at the utterly filthy words spewed by his feral dark passenger. As expected from the Uchiha part of his personality - even his cusses sounded incredibly pompous and elegant to the ear. And was that a Monty Phyton reference he heard?
"Shi-chan, you aight there?" Shiki drolled whilst leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.
"Fine, just fine," Shinkichi gritted out as he turned to face Shiki, sharingan eyes spinning and spinning with the desire for slaughter. "I'll clean up soon."
That was clearly a dismissal if he has ever heard one - which he has. Well, no point staying if no one here wanted or needed him. Nodding, he waved at his murderous dark passenger and shut the door behind him. At least Shinkichi would soon be preoccupied with cleaning rather than thinking up murder plots.
Shiki left his two inners to sort themselves out and returned to drive his body. He blinked, slightly disorientated before taking a sip of his sake. It burned on its way down, but it was a pleasant burn. Alcohol was the best medicine after a long, tiring day.
As he continued to leisurely drink and snack on some finger foods, Shiki tore the envelope open and began reading its contents.
To summarize the five-page document; he was cleared for active duty but needed to attend a triannually mental evaluation until deemed unnecessary by the Yamanaka shrink.
Shiki sneered at the blatant display of corruption being played behind the scenes. The shrink at that time did not appear as if he had been compromised, but for sure he was bribed. If this did not stink of a ploy made by that opportunistic Hyuuga clan head, Shiki would eat his own boots. It was pretty darn obvious that they were chancing the mind-walks to gain some sort of weakness to destroy his military career and thus shame the Uchiha name. Clan rivalry at its best.
The easiest way for a shinobi to be discharged from service was to be labeled as unfit for duty - be it physically or mentally. There would be no way the Hokage would be pleased if an asset like him was to be benched during wartime, hence triannually evaluations would make it seem as if he was on the verge but not, just because of the situation. As soon as the war was over, and if the Hyuuga head remained the same, Shiki would probably have a bothersome situation at his hands.
Fucking hell, it was so petty it was sad. Bribery, corruption, and politics.
Seriously, what was his life? He just wanted to live a nice, peaceful life performing autopsies and/or torturing someone for the sake of "the village", with murder missions once in a while to relieve stress. Then come back from a day's work to unwind to some nice literature since the internet was practically non-existent in this world. But no, some people could not just let him be because they were so petty it was pathetic.
Shiki crumpled the five-page-long document into a tight ball and shoved it where the sun don't shine (his inventory). He was seriously tempted to burn it, but alas, he would rather not be labeled a pyromaniac on top of everything else. Besides, the document might be needed somewhen in the future.
Raking a hand through his hair, Shiki sighed his frustration and finished up his drink. He should probably head over to Shisui's now, lest he be late for dinner.
And if he were thinking up dastardly plots to fill the time... well, a lot of accidents tend to happen during these unpredictable times, especially to snotty, holier-than-thou clan heads.
*-_-Corpse Demon-_-*
"Shiki-san!" Shisui beamed as soon as he opened the door. "You're here, come in come in!"
Shiki responded in a very Uchiha-esque manner by hn-ing his greeting. The smile on the child's face only grew larger as he was ushered inside and given a pair of indoor guest slippers to change into.
Without pause, Shisui chattered about anything and everything under the sun. Shiki followed him into the kitchen and grunted ever so often at the child's chinwag. He was rather impressed by how neat the kitchen was - Shisui's organization and cooking skills seemed far better than any of the Shi-trio's. And judging by the step ladders around, Shisui was the master of this kitchen rather than the parentals.
"Wait here - or take a seat, Shiki-san. I'll be right back!" Shisui waved in the general direction of the kotatsu nearby before zooming off to another portion of the house with a tray of food in hand.
Rather than do either, Shiki decided to make himself useful and started setting the table for two after looking through the cupboards. He doubted Shisui's parents would join them - judging by their no-show despite clearly there being a guest in the house.
When Shisui returned, the tray was gone and there was a slight bruising on his left cheek where there were no blemishes before. Shiki's face remain blank of expression but inwards, he frowned at the implications. He said nothing since Shisui appeared as jolly as always. It truly was sad that a child no older than four had to learn how to keep a happy appearance just because he knew no better.
When the boy walked by, Shiki made sure to telegraph his movements as he reached for the bruised cheek. Shisui flinched but remained still as a statue despite appearing highly uncomfortable with the situation. It provided an unfortunate context for his home life.
Without a word, Shiki activated the mystical palm skill (he had Mastered it back in the game thinking that he would have use for it. He did not until now). His hand glowed green and he brushed it against the bruise, taking away the ugly color from the boy's cheek. When done, he turned the skill off and returned to setting the table.
From the corner of his eyes, he saw the awe on Shisui's face as the boy patted the cheek as if amazed to not feel any more pain. Unconsciously, the corner of his lips rose. An upbeat brat like him should not have to feel pain from the people who were supposed to protect him, to begin with. Shiki might be a monster in human skin, but he knew right from wrong thanks to his previous life working under the police.
Children should be children... until they graduated from the Academy. Shiki would never baby a genin - that would only result in everyone involved getting killed. Academy students, on the other hand, he could make an exception just this once.
"Let's see how good of a cook you are, shall we?"
"Un!"
*-_-Corpse Demon-_-*
It did not take long for T&I to reach out to him about the resume he left with their receptionist. A courier genin handed him an envelope that contained information regarding an interview the very next morning.
The war brought forth a lot of prisoners - which meant they were always on the lookout for potential staff. Despite their occupation as shinobi and kunoichi, not many had the appetite for torture on a day-to-day basis. Maybe once in a while on the job, no biggie. But every day or whenever asked to? No, although they were hardened killers with a lot of trauma and untreated or undiagnosed mental illnesses, they were still human. Only those special few (who probably had screws loose or were dropped on the head as infants) could endure such an occupation and stay.
From what Shiki had gathered from Shinkichi's info-dump, most who worked as interrogators tended to stay no more than a handful of years, sometimes less, before rotating to another position within the department to not burn out or have a mental breakdown, similar to ANBU. When breaking someone, the individual could be broken if not careful.
Fortunately for Konoha, Uchiha Shiki was one of those special few who had too little empathy to care about anyone but themselves, making him immune to the after-effects of torturing another sentient being. If he could fuck a cooling body without remorse, he could do a lot worse without feeling regret - though he did know it was wrong and he hated himself for enjoying necrophilia.
In the game, the interrogation parts were censored since the game was popular worldwide and there was no way they would be allowed to show the darker side of Naruto MMORPG to underaged teens who secretly played the game despite it being R-18. As for Character-Shiki's memories, he enjoyed all the torture-related quests she used to do.
So, yes, Shiki did not mind joining the T&I military branch.
For one, he and Shinkichi could play to their heart's content. And two, he would not need to worry about being the weird one since he would be amongst other weird ones. Additionally, if he was great at his job, the village would consider him a valuable asset despite his future mental evaluation results and he would be somewhat safe from rotten politics.
Two birds with one kunai.
Dressed to impressed (he made time to iron his uniform, remove his mittens, and tie his hair in a neat, high pony), Shiki knocked on the interview room door located on the topmost floor of the Intelligence Division building, and despite his blank face, his insides were trembling with anticipation.
To be honest, now that he has secured and foolproof his identity to the best of his abilities, they (as in the two Shi-men. Shizuka didn't care much about anything but anime) were beginning to grow restless with the desire to hunt-kill-mark.
As much as he loved having free time - Shiki was a workaholic first and foremost. He did not know what else to do outside of working and gaming. And since the latter was hard to come by in Narutoverse barring tabletop games, Shiki was left unstimulated... or to put it in simpler terms; he was bored out of his mind.
When Shiki heard a voice telling him to enter, he exhaled all his pent-up nerves before doing so.
Whilst the first thing his dark passenger did upon Shiki entering the interview room was to scan the layout for potential traps, weapons, and escape routes, Shiki on the other hand, stared straight into the smiling blue eyes of a Yamanaka. He did not know if he should be surprised or not. The Yamanaka were everywhere, weren't they? Moreso than the Uchiha, and that was saying something. Hopefully, this one would not be rotten like the last one.
"Uchiha Shiki-san, was it? Hello, I'm Yamanaka Botan. I'll be interviewing you for..." Those soul-piercing blue eyes turned to glance briefly at the papers on the desk before resuming eye contact with Shiki. "The position of interrogator. Please, sit, and let's dive right into it."
"Thank you for having me, Yamanaka-san," Shiki responded politely as he sat down with grace befitting his clan. He was more adapted to this body now; less clumsy episodes during his day-to-day life.
Both his inners were paying close attention now; Shizuka had her laptop ready to 'Google' any sort of information needed, whilst Shinkichi set aside his reading material and tea to focus more on the interview.
"It's interesting to have an Uchiha apply to our department. Don't get me wrong, we welcome all applicants from all walks of life - just that, if you don't mind, may I ask why you chose T&I and not the KMPF or any of the other branches our village has to offer?" Yamanaka asked straightforwardly, smile ever present as he folded his hands atop the desk.
Hmm... A hard question right off the bat. Fortunately, they came prepared.
"I have a knack for gaining intelligence - be it by physical or mental means," Shiki responded bluntly. There was no point in being humble. In T&I, you either have the guts and talent for it, or you don't. Shiki had both in spades and was not afraid to spell it out for his interviewer. "The Uchiha might be bred for warfare, but our strongest weapon is no doubt our eyes. We have more than enough Uchiha in the KMPF; I find it a waste if some of us aren't actively using our talent for the benefit of Konoha's intelligence department."
"Bold and unafraid to challenge the norm. I like that in an applicant," Yamanaka nodded without a change of expression. His poker face was as good as any other veteran's. "It seems that you are not new to what our department does for information."
"As an infiltration specialist, there are times when I am forced to uptake another person's livelihood. By no means would I be able to learn everything about them by merely spying."
Sometimes, torture was the only means to learn about a person's entirety. Character-Shiki had once had to torture a reputable and respected Kumo kunoichi for two months straight when she was out on a long-term mission to learn her entire life story so that he could infiltrate Kumogakure as her and secure S-Rank intelligence that was only accessible by a few handfuls of Kumo-nins. That mission lasted an entire year in real time (since he had to complete his target's mission whilst at it to avoid any suspicion) whereas in-game, it was but a 5-minute cutscene.
"Impressive." This time, there was an approving glint in Yamanaka's eyes. "It makes me wonder why such a talented spymaster would want to switch specialization."
Shiki allowed his lips to curve a minuscule amount to show the barest of pride at the compliment. "It is not a complete switch, per se. I will still undergo infiltration missions on the side - though only short term rather than the usual."
"Usual? How long is your usual?" Yamanaka asked in interest.
"I rarely returned to Konoha. Biannually if I'm lucky," Shiki purposefully furrowed his brows as if he was feeling something. He did not know what, but something.
[Try for longing. Feel the longing for Konoha~ Even a psycho would like to have somewhere to call home... I think?]
Longing? Yeah, to show loyalty and love to Konoha would do well in this situation. But he abhorred being referred to as psycho, thank you very much.
[Denial, denial.]
Shut up, freeloader.
"With how the war is progressing, I believe my contribution here will be more beneficial in the long run... Hence I've decided to buy an apartment unit rather than rent one this time around."
Yamanaka hummed for a moment before nodding. "That covers the portion of my questions related to your housing situation, at the least." At Shiki's curious tilt of his head, Yamanaka kindly elaborated, "The courtesy background check we perform on our applicants picked up the gaps and inconsistency in between your renting history. I was going to ask if you were either homeless or couch surfing during those times."
[A couch-surfing Uchiha? Perish such thoughts immediately.]
Shiki wrinkled his nose in agreement with his dark passenger. Yamanaka seemed to enjoy his full-body cringe. After a brief chuckle, Yamanaka pressed an elbow atop his desk and leaned his cheek on a fist, looking completely at home.
"If you were hired, how long do you plan to stay in this department? And be honest, please."
Without an ounce of hesitation, Shiki answered, "I plan on staying long-term. As I previously mentioned, I do have plans to continue running missions outside the village, but mostly to prevent my skills from deteriorating."
"A good call. It would be such a waste to let your spying skills dull," The blonde nodded. "Do you know about Lima syndrome and Stockholm syndrome?
"I do. Lima is when a captor develops a positive bond with a victim, and Stockholm is when a captive or a victim in an abusive situation develops positive feelings for their captors or abusers as a coping mechanism," Shiki echoed Shizuka's words as his freeloading passenger 'Google-ed' the definition of both syndromes on her laptop.
"That's right. Whilst we don't mind when some of our captives develop Stockholm syndrome -that makes it easier to extract information- the opposite cannot be mentioned in the same breath. There are protocols in place to prevent Lima syndrome. However, realistically speaking, humans are social creatures. We form bonds even with the most unexpected people. How will you fare, I wonder?" Yamanaka's smile gave away absolutely nothing, and yet everything simultaneously.
Although it was said as if it was a passing comment, Shiki could hear the hidden question within it: was he prepared to keep someone alive and in pain for as long as Konoha deemed it necessary? Would he grow sympathetic? Would he develop lima syndrome for long-term captives? How would he cope if that were the case?
To be honest. All of those were simply impossible in his case. And there was only one sure way to prove it.
For the first time since his arrival into Narutoverse, Shiki allowed a portion of his mask to lower in front of a fellow Konoha-nin and he showed Yamanaka what exactly he would be hiring.
Shiki gave a smile that lasted a fraction of a second, no indication whatsoever that he had smiled in the first. But Yamanaka was a trained T&I specialist, and that fraction of a second was enough to recognize something... inhumane in them.
His lack of remorse and impaired empathy would make him an ideal torturer; he would never develop Lima syndrome for he was apathetic and egotistical. In that split second, Yamanaka seemed to understand and that was enough for Shiki to metaphorically push his mask up again.
The room fell into a pregnant silence and the tension was high enough to affect the Shi-family; Shizuka was sweating, concerned that it might have been too early to have shown their true nature. Shinkichi was already plotting ways to take care of it if everything had gone to shit. Shiki just continued to maintain eye contact with an air of aloof indifference.
Yamanaka, soon, nodded to himself and gathered the papers on his desk to bundle them into an inconspicuous manilla folder.
"I understand," Yamanaka vocalized his comprehension. Although did he truly? Who knows in this situation? He would have to be a mind reader. "Welcome to T&I, Uchiha Shiki. When can you start?"
"Today, if you so wish it, Yamanaka-senpai."
Yamanaka stood up and extended his right hand for a handshake. Shiki was quick to return the gesture. Without letting go, Yamanaka's polite smile became genuine as he once again welcomed Shiki into their department.
"None of that formal crap- call me Botan. Effective immediately, you are one of us. As the head of the department, I look forward to the day you become comfortable enough to show us all of you, Shiki."
The Shi-family cheered as one within his subconscious.