"Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants"
"Only on Chapter 3 and the satyr's messing up again."
Artemis teased, "I thought you weren't listening, Dionysus."
"I'm not."
"Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal[...] Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown."
"How worried were you?" Hazel asked in a chuckle, facing Grover.
"Very."
"'East One-hundred-and-fourth and First,' I told the driver. A word about my mother, before you meet her. Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck."
Many demigods smiled at the mention of Percy's mother. "She is awesome," Leo said, getting many agreeing murmurs from around the room.
"Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five,"
Zeus shrugged in response to the many looks and glares pointed his way.
"And she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. [...] I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile."
"A God's aura," Aphrodite marveled.
"My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures. [...] Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back. Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea."
A beat of silence passed, many demigods were relating Percy's story to their own. Percy found it ironic how he thought that his home life was the worst part of it all. Poseidon felt guilty, despite not knowing his son less than an hour prior.
"She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid."
"Not after getting kicked out of six schools in six years, you wouldn't be," Athena grumbled, more to herself. Piper continued reading before she herself, or someone else replied and started an argument.
"Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano-"
Leo piped up, "His last name is literally ugly, bro."
"-who was nice the first 30 seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. [...] The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts."
"Oh that's disgusting," Aphrodite made a fake gagging sound.
"Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. [...] I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. [...] 'Where's my mom?' 'Working,' he said. 'You got any cash?'"
"Ok he is a world class dick," Leo stated, getting light chuckles in response as well as agreeing murmurs.
"That was it. [...] He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something. [...] Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our 'guy secret'. Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out."
Oh no, Percy grimaced, knowing the reactions of his friends to his ex-step-father would be very harsh. As much as Smelly Gabe deserved it, it also meant that Percy's own self-deprecating thoughts would be targeted by said friends.
He was right, as the first reaction when Piper paused was his girlfriend's , "Ok yeah, definitely a dick."
Poseidon felt bad, worried about what else had come his son's way.
"'I don't have any cash,' I told him. He raised a greasy eyebrow. Gave could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else."
"Which is why you lived until age 12 without being attacked by monsters, your mother was helping you," Artemis marveled. She was impressed with the way a mortal mother kept her demigod son safe for so long, especially since Percy is the son of Poseidon, one of the big three.
"'You took a taxi from the bus station' [...] 'I hope you lose.' 'Your report card came, brain boy!' He shouted after me, 'I wouldn't act so snooty!' [...] make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer."
"He is a complete jerk," Leo stated, messing with some pieces of metal.
"I dropped my suitcase on the bed. [...] Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn. [...] Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?" She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted."
"Mama's boy," Annabeth teased. Percy rolled his eyes and told her to shut up.
"My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. [...] I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe."
"Sally Jackson is just too good for this world," Thalia declares, getting many agreeing responses.
"Way too good," Percy agrees, smiling, almost proudly.
"'Oh, Percy.' She hugged me tight. 'I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!' [...] chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. [...] From the other room, Gabe yelled, 'Hey, Sally—how about some bean dip, huh?'"
"Oh my god, I hate that man," Artemis mutters under her breath, her fists balled up slightly, as if she wanted to punch Gabe in the face with zero remorse.
"I gritted my teeth. My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe."
"Very true," Grover said.
"For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion.[...] 'Did something scare you?' 'No, Mom.'"
"Liar," Clarrise said. Percy rolled his eyes.
"I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid. [...] I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money."
"He was definitely lying," Artemis muttered.
Percy nodded, "Oh, definitely."
"Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"
I wanted to punch him-"
"Me too, man," Leo complained.
"-but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a
deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. [...] I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works.'"
Way too good for this world, Percy thought, his anger about how his mother was treated resurfacing.
"Gabe softened a bit. 'So this money for your trip [...] 'And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back.' 'We'll be very careful.'"
Grover chuckled, "Oops."
Percy laughed, "Don't regret that part at all," earning a smirk and a nod in response from his friend.
"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip ... And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game.' Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week."
"Now that would've been entertaining," Leo laughed.
"But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad. Why did she put up with this guy? [...] He went back to his game."
"That guy is pissing me off," Nico spoke.
"He's a dick," Leo seemed absent-minded, looking at his creation he made out of the metal he was tinkering with. A beat of silence passed, but then Reyna nodded, agreeing with Leo.
"'Thank you, Percy,' my mom said. 'Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about… whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?' [...] Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me."
"Narcissist," Annabeth muttered to herself. Percy deserved better than that, Sally deserved better than that.
"Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. [...] but I didn't stay long enough to find out. I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it."
Grover chuckled to himself, that was just a 'he deserves it' from the Gods, at that point.
"Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. [...] She never said exactly, but I knew why the beach was special to her."
"Wonder why," Hazel said, with sarcasm.
"It was the place where she'd met my dad."
Hazel nodded, as if proving a point.
"As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work
disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea. [...] This—along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano—was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me."
"Sally is amazing, man," Thalia said, laughing.
"Percy definitely got the sarcasm from his mother," Jason said.
"Ok but can we talk about how that is the sweetest and ironically fitting logic behind his blue food obsession?" Annabeth asked rhetorically, sending Percy a look that was partially you-are-a-five-year-old and partially that-is-so-cute. Percy glared at her half-heartedly, praying that his embarrassment wasn't obvious.
"When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. [...] "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud." I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years."
Everything, Percy, every time you've saved someone's life, every time you've been the amazing person you are, all of it, is what is so great about you. Annabeth caught herself gazing at Percy, and she sighed at herself, wondering when she became like this.
Percy caught her gaze right then, sending her a small smile, as if he could read her thoughts.
"'How old was I?' I asked. 'I mean ... when he left?' She watched the flames. 'He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin.' [...] But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe.'"
Percy thought about that day at the beach a lot, the last day before his life completely changed. Nothing made sense to him, he didn't know any of it. He used to wish his life could stay like that, but now, looking around the room, he's glad he found a place he fits in. He loves his friends and girlfriend, and while it hits him hard in the heart a lot when he thinks about the ones he lost, and he might hate the Gods for it occasionally, but he got a lot more than he ever thought he would.
"'Safe from what?' She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me—all the weird, [...] no one believed me when I told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head."
"Did you really think they would believe you?" Hazel asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well. I saw it," Percy responded, trying to come up with something to defend his hollow logic. Hazel rolled her eyes with a small laugh.
"Before that—a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands."
"Percy, what the fuck?" Leo exclaimed with a laugh.
Travis laughed loudly, "We need more stories, man."
"One day," Percy chuckled.
"In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move. [...] She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry. That night I had a vivid dream."
"Oh no," Piper stopped reading, grimacing. Percy nodded, Very 'oh no'.
"It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. [..] Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.
All eyes went to Zeus and Poseidon. Athena's rhetorical question, "What else is there to fight about with you two?"
Percy, Annabeth, and Grover looked at each other, with a slightly amused look that meant, oh, there's a lot.
"With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, 'Hurricane.' [...] My mother looked at me in terror—not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come. 'Percy,' she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. 'What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?'"
Oh Percy, you idiot, Annabeth rolled her eyes to herself. This is why we tell Sally everything.
"I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing. 'O Zeu kai alloi theoi!' he yelled. 'It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?' I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, [...] Because Grover didn't have his pants on—and where his legs should be ... where his legs should be …"
Oh that was a fun day, Grover remarked to himself, sarcastically. I almost fucked up, again.
"My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: 'Percy. Tell me now!' I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, [...] Grover ran for the Camaro—but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked."
Because he's not human, dipshit. Percy found himself yelling at the character of him a lot in this book. Eh, some things don't change.
"Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves."
So dramatic, Percy thought, mentally rolling his eyes at himself.
Piper let out a deep breath, "That's the end."
"Wow," Hera muttered, many others around the room feeling the same. Percy knew he looked careless, but yes, that was his life. He knew the others' lives were probably equally, or pretty damn close, shocking. He'd ask one day, soon.
Hestia spoke up, "Well, that was … action-packed. Who wants cookies?" She gestured to the plate of fresh cookies sitting next to her. They weren't blue, but they looked good, so Percy was definitely in.
Hestia took the book from Piper, giving her a nudge to go get a cookie, and the room felt lighter for a bit. Percy heard his name about 20 times in the process of eavesdropping on multiple different conversations. Annabeth came up to him, sending him a smile as she maneuvered her way around the crowd of demigods that had clustered in a corner. "Hi."
Percy chuckled, "Hi."
"How are you feeling?"
Percy sighed, "I don't really know." Annabeth raised her eyebrows a bit, telling him to expand. "There is so much from that first quest and that whole summer, it's so weird looking back at it. And, a lot of my thoughts would've gotten me killed, said out loud."
Annabeth laughed at that, "Oh yeah, that's always there." She looked up at her boyfriend, "It'll be alright, Hestia will probably stop any of them from killing you." Percy chuckled. "I'm curious now, though, all your thoughts."
Percy let out a small sigh, "Well, you'll get to hear them now."
"Should I be worried?" Percy looked at her for a second, then shrugged. Annabeth rolled her eyes with a smile.
Hestia clapped her hands, getting everyone's attention, "Back to the book, everyone?" Quieter conversations began again as everyone got back to their seats. Percy took a breath, the next chapter started it all. Once everyone was settled down, Hestia lifted the book, "We've only had the Greeks read, are any of the Olympians up for it?"
Percy's breath caught in his throat, oh no. His mind raced, trying to calculate what this chapter could have. Minotaur fight. The aftermath, probably. What was it… I was passed out in front of … oh shit. Percy held back a laugh. With the way this book's been going, the end of the chapter would probably be something like a mic drop, and he's slightly worried about this one. With my luck, the one reading would probably be A-
"I can read this one," Athena spoke up. Oh fuck no, Percy cursed to himself. Just my luck.
Annabeth, meanwhile, had her own monologue. This'll be interesting, she thought, amused, and completely unaware of her boyfriend's mental spiral.
Hestia passed the book to the war goddess, and Athena opened the book to where Piper folded the corner and cringed. "Does someone have an actual bookmark?"
"Wouldn't you?" Ares asked.
Athena rolled her eyes, if you want anything done, you must do it yourself. She snapped her fingers, and a bookmark appeared. It was a nice one, with a tassel at the end and the bookmark had a quote about books being a version of freedom. Flipping through the pages to get to the end of the chapter she must read, she left the bookmark there, so she wouldn't lose it.
And then she began reading chapter 4, raising her eyebrows at the title.