TITLE: Never Easy, Always There
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, just playing with the toys like they said we could. Not for profit. Do NOT sue.
SUMMARY: Dylan clarifies the prophecy then shows his true colors, Anya tells about Dylan, Willow and Dawn have the
confrontation.
SETTING: Season 7 AU
FEEDBACK: Oh yes, please. It's coming down to the last few chapters and the muse needs to be fed constantly cuz she
doesn't want to let go.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is pretty long, but it had to be to accommodate all I wanted in it.
Never Easy, Always There
The scoobies all sat around stunned. The prophecy that Willow and Giles had been working on so diligently, simply revealed to them by the very author? Well, it was a first in the history of scooby research. Now, if only Dylan would actually explain what it all meant. Buffy stared at him in expectation. She knew if she looked at him hard enough, the silly demon/man/being would reveal all. It simply was the way things were supposed to go. She knew it; she anticipated it; she would not move until it happened. Her bright green eyes shown out from a very placid face. They sparkled with unexpressed anger and expectation. And the longer Dylan wasn't forthcoming, the harder those emerald eyes became. Glinting out at him like unpolished green stones set in a rocky encasement, Buffy's eyes forced Dylan into some sort of explanation. One he was obviously uncomfortable sharing.
"Ahem. Well, I can see that my reciting the bloody thing isn't helping you all and that you need further explication?" He looked askance at everyone in the room. Everyone nodded slowly, except Buffy and Dawn, who simply glared.
"Ok, well, it is like this," Dylan began his explanation. "Power is gathering. You all know that. It is happening in the woods as we speak. What you don't know is that the clearing in which said powers are coming together is an ancient burial ground." He laughed shortly, "A sacred temple if you will. Although to be perfectly honest, I'm not that great a poet to begin with, and I just needed something to keep the metre together and all. Plus to make it sound ancient and impressive. You know how it is.
"Well, as I said, the power is gathering. Buffy, you and I discussed the Convergence the other day? Last week? Hell, interdimensional travel plays havoc with an internal clock. I can't remember what I did last week because I'll be doing it tomorrow probably. Gah." He shook his head to clear it, having confused himself going off topic. "The Convergence is the gathering of that power. And your power, Buffy, is being pulled as strongly as any other power. So, it stands to reason that your, how shall I say?, abilities will be fluctuating. It comes with the territory. Now for the rest of the prophecy."
He cleared his throat and looked over at Giles, who looked none too pleased at this new information. His hazel eyes glared from beneath lowered brows, glasses long since removed, resting on the mantle. "Yes. Why don't you explain the whole thing to us. I, for one, am quite anxious to know how my slayer is going to die."
"Oh, she isn't going to die. That isn't right at all. The prophecy doesn't mention dying at all, now does it? No. She will, however, lose her powers. There is nothing you can do to stop that. I mean, you people are all about knowing what is coming, just so you can prevent it from happening. It is what Buffy's prophetic dreams are meant for. You get a warning, you prevent disaster, everybody is saved. Well most of the time. But this is different. This is not a warning, it is a tenet. It will happen, and it will happen just like I say it will happen. No matter how you try to prevent it, this prophecy will come to pass. The question is how? I trying to prevent Buffy from losing her powers, you will kill her. Make no mistake. The new order must rise. That is all there is to it."
Xander, who had previously remained silent, but was beginning to detect the distinct smell of a fish, spoke up. "Oh, great mysterious and cryptic one. We get that Buffy can't prevent the loss of her power, but your little foray into bad poetry specifically mentions the Key. I do believe that means Dawn, and you told us that she will be lost in the fulfillment of her part of the prophecy." He stood up and stalked over to Dylan. "I also believe that Buffy told you to find a way to make sure that doesn't happen. I'm just going to out on a limb here and say that you haven't found anything that refers to Dawn keeping all of herself, did you? I gotta tell ya man, that pisses me off."
Dawn stood up and moved over to Xander, placing a restraining hand on his shoulder. "It's ok, Xander. I know what is going on." She turned her liquid green eyes to Dylan. "I am the key to this whole thing. I keep Buffy alive, I disperse the Convergence after its purpose is fulfilled, and my powers go with it. But something else happens, as well, right? Something to do with Spike." She cocks her head sideways, looking at Spike, "He's going to be different. His soul, which makes him different anyway, is what makes the Blood Union possible."
Dawn smiled. "Yeah, makes sense. My sister get to neck with all the fine souled vamps. I should be jealous, but I ain't. Got mine, thank you very much." She shot a look over to Buffy, whose own glare told the younger girl that discussions would be had, and voices would be raised. Dawn smirked.
Spike moved from his spot in the corner of the living room. "Well, at least I won't be killing you Buffy. Watcher and Red, I guess, didn't know what the hell they were talkin bout. This is good. Didn't want another Slayer's blood on my fangs, if ya know what I mean." Giles glared back at him. "What? Not like I said you were totally off base. Well, maybe I did at that. S'ok Watcher. We can't always be perfect all the time. No matter how hard we try, right? Something always gotta bollocks things up."
Dylan laughed at the idea of Giles thinking Spike was going to kill Buffy. "You actually thought the prophecy meant Spike would kill the Slayer?" He laughed outright. "Oh, Mr. Giles. Spike could no more kill her than you could."
Giles started to speak, "Of course not, his chip would prevent - "
"Not because of the chip, though that is an ingenious plan by the Initiative, completely misguided, but ingenious. No, you silly mortal. Spike has a soul now. Did you not know that?"
Giles turned a questioning eye to Buffy. "Is this true? And why didn't you tell me?"
She had the temerity to look sheepish. "Uh, yeah. Spike is souled, it's true. But I only found out just before I lost my powers tonight. So there wasn't time to tell you what I knew." Her eyes widened. "Oh! You can yell at Dawn for being all secretive. She knew! And come to think of it, if she knew then Xander knew! So, I am officially off the hook for being all secret girl." She nodded once, emphatically.
Giles just shook his head. "Ok, so he has been cursed with a soul. Not like we've not dealt with this sort of situation before now."
"Umm, not cursed, mate." This from Spike.
"What?" Giles turned a shocked face to Spike. "Well, how the hell did you get a soul?"
"I went looking for it, didn't I?" Spike's blue eyes sparkled dangerously. "It seems the chip did it's soddin job, right? I did something that I hated. Hurt someone that I wasn't supposed to, and things had to change. I went looking for the thing that would make me worthy." The unspoken implication being that a soul is the only thing that would make this vampire worthy of Buffy.
Giles nodded. "Ok. So you asked for it back. What mage, demon, or power would grant you any soul, much less your own?"
Spike grinned humorlessly. "Eh. Well, I didn't exactly go up and say, 'Did something nasty, hurt someone, feel really bad bout it, can I have my soul back?'" He looked at Giles hard. "I had to fight to get it, Watcher. Fist of flames, three headed demon, big weird scarab beetles. I still got the scars." He started tugging on his shirt as though to remove it. "Wanna see what sucking chest burns look like after a month, there Rupert?"
Giles looked horrified. "No!" He shouted at the vampire, who looked stunned. "I believe you. God knows there is enough information on you and how you are an anomaly in the vampire world. I believe you can love enough to fight for what you think the object of your affection needs. If it was indeed Buffy, then you would indeed have done everything in your power to achieve it." He turned fully to face Spike. "I never forgot who or what you were, Spike, in all its implications. But she is my Slayer, and I have to watch out for her, not just watch her."
His voice lowered to a whisper, so that only Spike could hear him. "I would think you would understand what I mean?" He raised his eyes to confront Spike's blue ones, seeking. Spike nodded his understanding, mouthing "Love her, just like I do." And Giles knew they had connected. Then he laughed. "Well, not exactly like you do." And Spike grinned.
"Oh looky, everybody. My watcher is bonding with my vampire. Ain't it cute?" Buffy broke the tension in the room with the joke. "Ok, guys? Can we get back to the relevant discussion? Like, how can I keep from losing my powers and my sister?" She looked around the room. "Dylan?" who was again nowhere to be found.
"Damn. Did I mention how much I hate it when he does that?"
Dylan sat on the stone wall, frustrated. Damn it all, he had been trying to explain to them the importance of the prophecy, but they get focused on the vampire's soul? What is with this bunch of kids? And that watcher?
He missed the coldly analytical watchers of the past. At least they could maintain the flow and focus of a conversation. He growled low in his throat.
As if that rag tag group of wanna slay kids could stop the convergence. Or the reabsorption of the Key and the Slayer's powers. These things were meant to be. No one in a thousand generations and a hundred dimensions has stopped the gathering of powers, and the conceit that these kids shared, thinking they could, royally pissed Dylan off.
He watched the swirling mass of energy ebb and flow along the forest floor, flowing against trees and shrubs, whispering softly through the leaves and crackling sharply against the wooded trunks. The blue green swirling colors brought a soft smile to his face. His time was coming, and he knew the truth. No one could stop this and he would have this power for himself.
He reached a hand down to trail it in the blue green fog. The energy tingled through his fingers, burrowing deep into manufactured veins, traveling up his arm, into his chest and down to his belly. His legs and feet tingled with a thousand firings of nerves and ganglion cells. Then he felt the power surge through his back and neck, rising to trace sparkling paths across his scalp and into his skull. He closed his eyes in ecstacy, green arcs flashing as lashes met lashes. His mouth opened in a silent howl, and the blue green energy shone out, illuminating the night above him.
"Oh, yes." he whispered ecstatically, "this will all soon be mine, and she will be powerless to stop me." He shuddered orgasmically as the power culminated in his body and rushed out. His quiet moans could be heard only by the tiny nocturnal ears of the forest.
"Ok, everybody. So what are we going to do about this whole situation?" Anya brought the gang back to the issue at hand. "Buffy is going to lose her powers, Dawn is going to lose her power as the key; something bad is going to happen to Spike. That is the gist I have so far." She looked around the room for confirmation. As they all nodded, she did too. "Well, that is all well and good, but I think you might want to take what D'Lahnyan says with a grain of salt."
Her voice was so matter of fact that it took a few minutes for the rest of the gang to catch up to her. She was looking in concentration at her fingernails, frowning. "Damn," she muttered. "I broke another nail?"
Xander was the first to speak up. "Umm, Ahn. Why don't you tell us what you mean by that statement, k?"
"Well, obviously, that I broke the nail on the end of my finger Xander. What part of 'damn I broke a nail' don't you understand?" She seemed genuinely confused until she saw the exasperated eye roll and head shake that was Xander's patented 'I'm irritated with you, but you're cute so I won't say anything' look. "Oh, you meant about D'Lahnyan."
"Well, Ahn, hon, yeah, I kinda did."
"You don't get to call me 'hon' anymore, ya know, besides someone might not like it." Anya winked at him to soften her criticism. "I just meant that he can't be trusted."
Giles looked confused. "Why? Because he stood you up some time ago?"
"Ugh. No, I would long since have wrought vengeance on him for that." She shook her head and frowned at Giles. "No, he can't be trusted because of why he stood me up. See, D'Lahnyan is a power junkie. He wants it, craves it, and will do anything to get it. He stood me up so long ago because he had heard a rumor about some sacred gathering of powerful mystics in another dimension and took off to steal that power. Unfortunately for him, they were more than prepared and he spent a week diggin the equivalent of cactus thorns out of his backside. Only these were mystical thorns, and if you broke one, it magically regenerated, and oozed poison onto the person's skin. Oh, yeah." She got a faraway look in her eye. "Oh, yeah, he was incapacitated for months afterward. Bliss, is what it was. Though I do have to admit he's cute."
Giles nodded in understanding. "What, Rupert, you think he's cute too?" Anya's cheeky voice interrupted him.
He started. "Hah! Well, while he might carry himself with a definitive air of superiority that you no doubt find attractive Anya, I can promise you, I am under no such influence." Giles grinned at her, then returned to seriousness. "No, I meant that it is entirely conceivable that this Dylan person will tell us the absolute truth, as he sees it, in order for us to facilitate this convergence, at which point he will steal Buffy's and Dawn's powers."
He looked at the rest of the gang. "I agree with Anya in that we must not trust this Dylan any farther than Xander can throw him. I think you all know what I am saying here, right?"
Buffy and Xander groaned. "Ugh, research time, again." They laughed at their unified expressed disgust. Giles just rolled his eyes.
"Yes well, correct. We must find a way to prevent the Convergence, or at least keep you girls whole. But perhaps not tonight. It is getting rather late, and I for one am quite tired. So. Anya, Willow, and myself will leave you all to your nightly routine." He watched as Dawn rose silently, waving as she made her way upstairs. He also noticed Xander's solicitous and watchful gaze follow the young woman as she trudged up to her room. He turned to Willow, about to beckon her to bid everyone farewell, but she too had watched as Dawn ascended the stairs. Her gaze was speculative and before Giles could call out to her, she started toward the stairs herself, saying, "I'll be down in just a minute."
"Willow, I don't think that's - " Buffy started, but Xander stopped her. "Let her go, Buff. They need to get this out."
"I don't like it Xander. Dawn is going through too much to deal with a confrontation with Willow right now."
Xander smiled. "I think you'll be surprised at just what Dawn can and won't handle." He hugged the small warrior. "Have a little faith, Buffster. It'll work out."
Giles heard but had his doubts. Doubts that were reflected in Anya's eyes when he turned to her as though to apologize. Then he heard a scoff from the corner of the room. Apparently Spike had his doubts as well.
"Harris, you don't know Niblet as well as you think you do. She's tough, yeah, but she ain't a bit ready to deal with Red right now." He moved forward to look up the stairs. His lips pursed thoughtfully. "Well, it's starting out alright, but I don't look for it to stay that way." He headed for the door. "I'm outta here Slayer. You need me, you know where I am."
"Wait!" Buffy's voice stopped him on the porch, before he could shut the door. She followed him out.
"I just wanted to say 'thank you' for tonight. And that, when this convergence situation is resolved, I want to talk to you. About that night, the soul, us, everything."
He nodded, and again moved to leave. "Fine Slayer, what ever you want is what we'll do."
"No, that isn't what I meant." She sighed in frustration. "Dammit Spike." She grabbed his arm. "I have to say this, and I'll use small words so you'll for sure understand. You are worthy, always were. Just the way you were. You worked beside me for two years, loved me, and fought for Dawn even when I wasn't here. Put up with Xander without killing him. That makes you worthy. You were never the problem, Spike. I was. Just wanted you to know."
"Fine. Now I know. Can I go?" When she made no move to let him go, he turned liquid crystal blue eyes to her. "Buffy? Let me go. Please."
She almost didn't, but something shone out at her, telling her it would be alright. "Ok." She released his arm slowly. "Goodnight Spike." He descended his head, muttering "'Night Slayer." and she thought she heard the sound of a choked off breath.
Willow stood outside Dawn's bedroom, knowing the young girl was getting ready for bed, and this would be her only chance to set things right with her. She raised her hand to knock, but heard a soft "Don't bother knocking, Willow, just come on in."
Willow took a deep breath and turned the knob slowly, entering the bright bedroom slowly, testing her welcome. "Come on in, it's alright, I guess." Dawn told her, sitting on top of the covers on her bed. "I guess you want to talk about what happened last spring? Apologize and all that?"
The matter of fact tone coming from Dawn was something that Willow was unaccustomed to. It shocked her and put her on the defensive. "Well, yeah, Dawn. I kinda figured I needed to. Was I right?"
"Depends. Will you mean your apology? Or are you doing it because the others think you should?" Dawn just looked curious, as though the answer really didn't matter that much to her.
"A little bit of both, actually. If you want me to be honest." Willow stated.
"Yeah, honesty is good, Willow. As long as you don't mind the return favor?" Dawn raised her eyebrow.
"Turnabout is fair play, right?"
"Absolutely."
They stared at each other for a beat. Two. Three.
Finally Dawn started. "Why do you think I should forgive you? You threatened to end me, Willow, to use me to destroy everything and everyone I love. What about that is forgivable? Who do you think you are that you can kill someone and not suffer the same consequences that any other murderer does?" She frowned in consternation. "Seriously, what makes you so different?"
Willow's eyes widened in shock, then narrowed defensively. "You think I think myself above the law here? You think I don't know what kind of person I became? You're just a kid, Dawn. You have no idea what it means to lose someone like Tara then lose yourself in that grief. Do I think you should forgive me? Honestly, I wouldn't. But I'm not you. Can you handle not forgiving me?" She paused and crossed over to the desk, flipping through some of Dawn's school work.
"Dawn, I'm sorry for what I said and tried to do to you. I was out of my mind with anger, grief, and power. That is no excuse, but it is a reason." She sighed softly. "Nothing makes me different, Dawn. Noting makes me special. And I do suffer consequences." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I have nightmares sometimes. I see his face, just before I ripped his ski - No. I can't tell you that. I promised. I hear him pleading with me, begging me for his life, and it drives me crazy, Dawn. You don't know. He killed Tara. Killed her, took her from this world and me, and everyone else who loved her, and I still hear him beg for his life."
Dawn watched Willow with expressionless eyes. She followed her around the desk, watched her approach the side of the bed, kept watching as the tiny pale hand reached up and stroked Dawn's hair from her face. Dawn didn't even flinch. "Ok, so you have nightmares about Warren. I understand that. I would too. From what I can piece together, you really worked him over. And I know you tore his skin from his body. Flaying is what I think it is. Every time we come across a demon in research that does that, Anya, Xander and Buffy get strange looks on their faces. So I know. I'm the Key. I can unlock anything, even secrets." She reached up and took Willow's hand in hers.
"What I want to know, Willow, is do you have nightmares about me?" She pulled the older woman to her, whispering into her ear. "Do you hear my voice in here?" She stroked Willow's head. "Do you see my eyes begging you not to hurt me? Do you hear my whimpers and cries? Do you see me, trapped in Rack's place, trying to get away from you, fearing for my life and begging you to remember Tara and how she loved you and that we all loved you?" She gripped Willow's hair and pulled her head back. "Do you dream of me, Willow? Or do I just not even register, because I ceased to be real to you in that moment?"
Willow turned frightened, and guilty eyes to Dawn, who laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah. I figured as much." She released Willow and curled into a ball on her bed. "Apologize all you want, Willow. It won't matter to me, because my forgiveness doesn't matter to you. And that is fine."
"Dawn. That isn't true. You do matter. You always did."
"Not in that moment, Willow. I was just another fix for you. You don't get forgiveness for that."
Willow's eyes hardened in the face of Dawn's intractability. "Dawn, hear me out. You matter. I love you just like I love Buffy. You gotta know that, right? Just because I don't have nightmares about you doesn't mean I don't think about what I did to you and regret it. You have to know I'm sorry, more than I know how to say."
"No you're not, Willow, and the more you try to tell me you are, the less I believe you, and that is pretty hard to accomplish. So. I suggest you exit stage right, and leave me the hell alone."
"Dawn - "
"Get out Willow. Save your empty apologies for someone who will believe them. Just get out."
"Fine." she turned to leave, opening the door. "You can be a child about this all you want Dawn. But until it happens to you, don't presume to judge me. This is the last time I'll be apologizing to you about what happened. If you can't be adult enough to forgive me, then I guess we'll just have to find a way to live with that." She turned back to look one more time at Dawn, expecting to see the younger girl sitting up about to stop her, but Dawn just lay in bed, looking impassively at her.
"Don't bait me, Willow. I'm the Key, your secrets aren't secret anymore, and I know." She blinked slowly. "Yeah. We'll just have to live with the fact of last spring. I don't trust you. But I know that means nothing to you. Good night Willow." She turned away from Willow, and heard the door click shut behind the witch.
Willow made her way downstairs again, silently fuming that the confrontation with Dawn went as badly as it did. The little girl had grown up a lot in the last few months. Her tenacity and impenetrable calm vexed Willow. She had thought that simply stating her apology and asking for forgiveness would be enough to put last spring behind her. But Dawn's reticence and unwillingness to forgive and forget put that thought out of Willow's head. Willow couldn't believe that Dawn was so calm about the whole thing. She was sure that the comment about remaining a child would have worked to get Dawn speaking to her, but no.
She slapped the banister in anger. Damn that girl. But Willow had to admit that Dawn was right. She didn't have nightmares about her. Dawn wasn't human, hadn't been born, but manufactured, and because Willow knew this on a gut level, it made it impossible to think of Dawn as human in her subconscious. In waking moments though, Dawn's pleas wracked Willow's heart. She could hear them in the back of her mind. Dawn begging her to rethink what she was doing; telling her that Tara would be so disappointed in her, and knowing that the teen was right.
Willow shook her head, stopped on the last step and composed herself before facing the others again. She came around the corner and paused as Xander looked up at her with a smile. She saw his smile fade, and closed her eyes against the frown that crept onto his face. Cringing as he jumped up without a word to her, she watched as he headed upstairs to Dawn. Giles, Buffy and Anya all startled out of their conversation at Xander's rushing movements. "What the hell is wrong with Xander, Willow?" Buffy asked her.
"He's going up to talk to Dawn, Buff." Willow moved forward into the living room to sit down.
"Wow. He didn't even say anything to you?" Anya asked.
"No."
Giles turned toward the stairs with a look of concern. He cleared his throat. "Does someone need to have the talk with Xander? He seems to be overly solicitous toward Dawn lately." He turned to Buffy. "He's become even more protective of her than Spike."
"Well, I had to have Spike tell me, but it seems that Dawn and Xander may be heading toward some sort of relationship." At Giles' and Willow's widened eyes, Buffy said, "I know. I know. I don't get it either. I mean, she's just 17. And he's Xander. What do they see in each other?"
Willow and Anya looked archly over at Buffy, but it was Anya who spoke up. "If you don't know what a young woman like Dawn, Willow, or myself could see in Xander then, Buffy, you truly have no concept of how relationships are supposed to work."
Willow joined her in defense of Xander. "Buffy, he's strong, but human, cares so much more than he should about this fight we are waging against evil, and despite his normalcy, he keeps fighting. He's tenacious, loving, insightful, and necessary. More to the point. He's proud of being the normal guy who always comes through for the superheroes."
"Not to mention funny, irreverent, earnest, and supportive." This from Giles. When the girls turned to him is surprise he asked, "What? I can't notice how the vital and integral the boy is to our morale? Think about what it would have been like in the library without him." At their thoughtful looks he turned smug. "See? He's necessary, and I am a watcher. It is my job to find the necessary and keep it around, don't you think?"
Buffy finally capitulated. "Yeah, he is pretty darn lovable. I guess I just got Slayer imprinted by vampires, huh?" When they all looked at her strangely she said, "You know? Imprinted? Like baby cows with their moms and kittens with their mothers?" They continued to look questioning. "Oh never mind." The other three laughed at her frustration.
Giles finally rose and made the motions of getting ready to leave. Anya rose as well, stating, "Well, guys, it's late. Later than it was when we first started to leave, and I think we need to get out of Buffy's hair so she can get some rest before tomorrow. You know, so she can do all the researchy stuff at the Magic Box, that is coming along nicely since I got the demons at the insurance place to fork over the necessary dough."
Giles sighed. "Anya, I assure you the insurance company is entirely peopled with humans."
She snorted. "Ok, Rupert. What ever you say." She turned to Willow. "You ready?"
"Yeah." Willow rose and walked over to hug Buffy goodnight. "Night, Buffy. I"ll see you tomorrow."
"Willow, give her time. She's young, and doesn't understand -" Buffy started.
"Buffy, she understands a lot more than you think. Time won't matter. She isn't going to forgive me and she really shouldn't. But we are going to be able to work together, so don't worry. Things will never be like they were, but they'll get better. Goodnight."
Giles and Anya walked to the door, followed by Willow and Buffy. "Ok, well goodnight, guys. I guess it is research mode at the Magic Box tomorrow, and I know Giles will bring the jellies."
Giles hugged Buffy goodnight. "Of course. Anything to encourage you doing research. Goodnight Buffy." He walked out with the other two girls, and Buffy closed the door. She turned to the stairs, thinking to go up to bed, but decided instead to give Xander and Dawn a few more minutes of privacy. She went into the kitchen to fix some cocoa.
Xander stood outside Dawn's room. He tried to listen through the door, placing his head gently against it, hoping to hear something that would indicate how Dawn was feeling. All he heard was silence. So he raised his hand to knock at the door. Before he could touch knuckle to door, it opened and she stood there. He looked at her for an instant, taking in the calm, dry eyes, the steady chin, and loose limbed grace. Then her eyes closed and he knew. Closing in, he wrapped her in his arms and nearly broke with her as the first of many sobs broke through her calm facade.
She had heard him at the door before he leaned in to listen. She stood up from the bed and walked slowly to the door to open it, knowing she was seconds away from collapsing. It hurt not to be able to forgive Willow; it hurt to maintain the serenity when she had been in the room, but Dawn knew she could let go with Xander. So she opened the door and raised her dry eyes to take him in. She watched his eyes roam over her face, checking to make sure everything was ok, and despite seeing nothing, knowing she was falling apart. He caught her before she did, and she fell into his arms, wrapping herself up in him. Feeling safe, finally, she let it out.
Her world tilted sideways as he bent to lift her at the knees, swinging her into the cradle of his arms, moving to the bed, to sit and rock her. She rested herself in his strength, gathering it from him, until she could look up at him and not cry. Her green eyes met his whiskey colored brown ones, then focused on the small smile of his mouth. She watched as it began to move, barely registering that his voice was reaching her ears.
"You alright, Dawnie?"
She reached her fingers up to touch his lips. Marveling at their softeness, she caressed them lightly with the tips of her fingers. Then she looked up into his eyes again. "I'm fine, now you're here." She dropped her hand back into her lap, and nuzzled closer to him. "You were right. It was harder than I thought, not forgiving her, Xander. But I don't matter to her. She doesn't dream about what she did to me. She doesn't see me as human, and I can't forgive her for that. It is what made her able to threaten me the way she did." She sniffed, trying to control her emotions. "I didn't understand it before, but since I've been coming into my power, things have been coming clear to me."
He looked at her, knowing. "You're able to tell what people are feeling, unlocking secrets and things like that?" At her confused nod, he smiled. "Of course you are. It's the only way you could have known what to say to me earlier to get me to face up to this situation between us." At her attempt to defend herself, he held up a hand. "No, I know, it's not that you are deliberately using it to manipulate. You just knew. Just like you now know about Willow, you just knew about me, and yourself. That is a good thing, Dawn. Believe me."
"Thank you for coming up. I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't want to have to explain it to Buffy." She hugged him closer. "I needed you, and you came. Thank you."
He hugged her close to him, murmuring into her hair. "Anytime."