Author's Notes: My stories never seem to die. Teardrops was supposed to be a stand-alone fic but now I have 3 more chapters of it. This chapter is set a few months after the events in the first and is close to the end of the game. The italicized parts are flashbacks. The first paragraph is a flashback that takes place a few months before this story. The second is much further back. Ten points to whoever can guess what Elena's doing in the first paragraph and why.

I should be able to post the next chapter of this story, Interlude, tomorrow if everything goes well.

One last point. As always, this fic is rated for a reason. If that bothers you, I suggest you don't continue reading.

"Soft sweat, sugar on the asphalt. Our hearts, littering the topsoil. Tune in so we can make the last call. Our lives our call."

Bleed American, Jimmy Eat World.

Don't let go

---

The knife makes a trail of blood across my arm. Thin, precise, a tiny teardrop of blood trickling down. I gasp a little and watch the red water flow.

---

You press your lips to the silver scar on my arm. You at least can understand pain. I brush my trembling fingers against the scars on your cheeks. I only ever did it the one time. Just a little distraction from the moment. Maybe this could be a distraction. Maybe…

Soft breath against my lips. I can feel you tremble. I tell myself it's nothing. Your fingers slide against my skin. I feel my blouse slip away. It's nothing…

Your lips touch the smooth curve of my stomach. There's a scar there but I can't remember it. You kiss me softly. It doesn't have to mean anything.

I can't help myself. I trail my fingers in your hair and kiss you. I feel something wet slide down my cheek. It's just sweat, I swear. I'm not trembling…

If there was anything in this world worth holding onto, I've never known it. No, that's not true. There was one thing.

I'm so cold now, Reno… Sometimes I dream of being totally numb. My lips are blue and my hands are ice. I stare at myself in a mirror and see the black beneath my eyes. I know that I'm dead but I just can't stop breathing. My breath comes out in tiny gasps and freezes in the air. I cry and the tears freeze on my skin. Sometimes I'll cut myself just to see if I can still bleed and the blood flows so thick it's black, black like the ink under my eyes. The blood flows up from my wrists and covers my arms. I know it should be hot but it chills me, chills me so deep that I can't even remember being warm. It crawls up my body and inches up my neck until I can feel myself panicking. I try to struggle but the blood holds me too strongly. I try to scream and it falls into my mouth until I'm choking on the black blood and all I can taste is that salty, metallic texture and then I'm drowning, drowning in blood. I try to scream and all that comes out is a gurgle. I try to scream and…

Your hands caress my cheeks. Your fingers are so warm that I can't help but shiver. You kiss me and I tremble. I'm melting Reno. You kiss me again and whisper something I don't hear. There's something sliding down my cheeks and your fingers catch it as it falls. I kiss your hands, your cheeks, your lips. I feel you tremble.

Can't we just go back to the way we were before? There was a time when we were happy, I think. I think I remember being happy. It feels like a long time ago, doesn't it?

It's all coming to an end. You feel it, don't you? Maybe that's why we can let go. I promise I won't tell anyone. You can be weak, too, can't you? I think he knew that too. He always was the strong one. I never thought he'd be the first to go… Gods, I…

Fingertips playing against the skin on my thighs. One of us is moaning but I can't tell who. I feel the lines between us blur. There's a haze between us.

I don't want it to change. Let's go back to the way we were.

---

Hey Reno, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?

What, just anywhere?

Sure, anywhere. Where would you go?

I dunno…

I don't believe yoooou.

Heh, 'Lena, stop it, that tickles.

You know you like it.

No I don't.

Yes you dooo.

Heh, you're drunk.

No I'm not.

Yes you are. I can tell.

Okay, maybe a little…

…Elena? What are you doing?

Is this… bad?

Don't.

Don't what?

Don't do that.

Why?

Because you'll regret it.

Do you think so?

---

A gasp escapes my lips and then a moan… then a shiver then… then…

Lying beside you, I'm cold. I think you feel me tremble because you wrap your arms around me. You're cold now too. We both lie together, shivering and cold, trying so hard to keep each other warm. It's so pathetic I can't help myself. You brush you hands against my cheeks. Don't say anything. I can't help it. I'm weak; I always have been. You always told me that, remember? I guess I just never really realized how true it was.

---

You know, you never answered my question.

What question?

You know, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Like, a vacation?

No, I mean, forever.

Forever?

Ever and ever and ever.

Ever and ever and ever?

Heh, you're a parrot.

I'm not a parrot.

Yes you are. You're a parrot.

Then you're a parakeet.

What's the difference?

I dunno.

So…

So…?

Where would you go?

I dunno. I've never thought about it.

Come on. Everyone's thought about it.

I haven't.

I don't belieeeeve you.

Heh.

Come on, tellll me.

Will it make you shut up?

Maybe.

Maybe eh?

---

You wrap your arms around me. There's comfort here and I didn't expect that. I try to cover my face in your arms but somehow you manage to lift my chin. Your eyes are overwhelming. I never realized, but you have tiny little flecks of silver in your irises. They're… beautiful.

--

Please tell me?

Ug, why does it matter so much?

Dunno.

Okay, you go first then.

Me? Why? I don't wanna. I asked you first.

I'll tell you if you tell me.

Promise?

Yeah, sure.

You aren't… crossing your fingers or anything are you?

What? No. … fine. Look. See?

Okay…If I could go anywhere… I'd go… go… to Cosmo Canyon.

Cosmo Canyon?

Yeah.

Why?

… I dunno. They say the stars are really pretty there. It's so far from the City.

Hmmm.

… So?

Me?

Yeah you dummy.

Hey, easy there 'Lena. You'll hurt my feelings.

Oh! I'm sorry.

Jeez, I was only joking.

Hee, you're right… so?

Yeah… okay… if I could go anywhere… really anywhere… I'd go to… shit 'Lena, I dunno.

Oh come ooon!

No seriously, I have no idea.

You can't tell me you don't have dreams Reno.

---

You have me captivated; I can't look away. Before, my eyes were closed and I couldn't see you. Now what I see in your eyes frightens me. I don't want to see that. Can't we just go back to the way we were? But we were never happy, were we? I move up and press my lips against you cheek, covering your scar. I feel you shiver. I never wanted to hurt you. You know that, don't you? Because I remember you in the hospital Reno. It was a long time ago but I still remember. I was a different person then but you're the one who's changed.

We're going to die… aren't we?

---

…heh.

No seriously. You must've thought about it at some point.

… What's the point?

… What?

I mean, seriously Elena, what's the point? Another time, another place… it's bullshit.

Reno…

---

… You think we will, don't you.

---

You know what. I'm sorry. Forget about it. Hey don't look at me like that, okay?

I'm sorry.

No, shit Elena, don't feel sorry. It was just a stupid question.

No, you're right Reno, it was a stupid question.

It wasn't stupid. Just let me think about it for a minute, okay?

You don't have to…

No, it's okay. Let me think…if I could go anywhere…

Re-

Shh, I'm thinking.

… Okay.

Hmmm…

Heh, you don't have to overdo it so much.

Hey, this is a matter of serious thought.

Ha! You're never serious.

I can be serious.

I'm sure you can.

Hey!

What, I was agreeing.

That's why I'm suspicious…

The question…?

Oh yeah… okay… if I could go anywhere.

Anywhere.

Anywhere. Then I'd go…

---

I don't want to die.

---

If I could go anywhere…

Anywhere!

Anywhere…

---

"Elena…"

---

Then I'd go…

…?

… to Cosmo Canyon.

What? Why?

---

"Reno…"

---

Because someone once told me that the stars are really pretty there.

---

Don't let go.