Author's Notes: Credit must go out to Jess Angel for this one. Originally, this was meant to be a drabble based on her line "It's been getting colder the past few nights." However, after I had written the piece I realized that it was way too long to be even remotely drabble-ish and I remembered why I don't try to write drabbles in the first place. I decided to leave the piece alone to grow dust on my desktop. Later, after I had written Don't Let Go, I remembered this little not-quite-drabble, grabbed my red editing pen, and now I have three chapters. Joy.
If all goes well, the final chapter, Freedom, should be up tomorrow.
Interlude
I have a picture in my head of what my life should be. It's strange because I can see it all so clearly. I never had any doubt, any fear. Well, that's not true.
It's been getting colder the past few nights. There's snow falling down outside the window. Amazing that the snow's still white here. You'd think it would be grey. Or red.
Maybe red.
I can't help but think about it. I left you sleeping in the other room because I couldn't bring myself to stay. I never expected it but I don't think that you did either. I didn't mean to kiss you. I can't believe you didn't push me away. I was just so cold…
Isn't it enough when people just want to live their lives? Why can't we just have what we need? I never wanted to be anything more than I was...
I don't think that you could say the same.
I hear a rustle behind me but I don't need to turn. I know you.
You hesitate just for a moment before you wrap your arms around me. Can you feel me shiver? I don't know why you're still here.
I've never been honest with myself, something we have in common.
I turn against you and fade into your arms. You're warm, so warm. You press your lips to mine and I can feel you tremble. No excuses this time. I move away and rest against your shoulder. You draw me closer.
I'm scared Reno.
You stiffen against me and I realize that I've said my thought out loud. Oh God, I didn't mean to. Softly, hesitantly, your fingers snake up into my hair. You lean forwards and press your mouth to my ear and whisper. My eyes widen. It's the confession that breaks me.
Kiss me again. Oh please…
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I am too.