Hi everyone! Sorry about the delay in updates on...well, everything. (I swear, though, I've been working on it! The next chapter of Beautiful is saved on my other computer, and my other two have been making significant progress. :))

So here's what this is: I had a little extra time on my hands, and felt like writing a little something. My problem? I didn't have enough time to write another new chapter for one of my fics, but I had enough time to write more than, say, a poem. :)

And here's where this fic comes into the picture. :) I was listening to this Sarah McLachlan cd, and realized this would be a good song to write a fic to. So I'm trying to think of something to write, a standalone, might I add, when I just started typing something. Apparently, this might be more than a standalone. ;)

An idea began to form in my head, and I kind of liked it. Sooo...please read this and tell me if you'd like to find out what happened to Monica and Chandler to make their lives so screwed up, and what's going to happen in the future. It could get very angsty at points, just from what I've been playing out in my head for the last thirty minutes, or we could leave this at a standalone and each make up our own versions of what went on.

I figured this is taking place in around season ten, but things have gone very differently, as you will all see very soon. ;)

I'm not answering anything quite yet, but I will if enough people like this and review to let me know they want to know what's going on. :)

Lemme know, kay? ;)

-takes a deep breath- This is kind of different, so here it goes...

the winter here is cold and bitter

this chill lasts to the bone

we haven't seen the sun for weeks

too long too far from home

Chandler-

As I write this, my hand is shaking. It's dark, and cold, so I write this by the light of a candle. I don't want to wake you.

You've tried hard to give me a good life, and I've tried hard to be the perfect wife.

But Chandler, my dear, sweet, Chandler...I don't think it's working.

I'm not the woman I want to be, the one I know I can be. It's all so wrong, this life we're living. We shouldn't have to be burdened by what happened in the past; we can forget, move on.

Our love isn't as strong as it once was, and this I blame on the weather. This cold and bitter frost seems to coat my heart and last year round.

I miss the sun, I miss my home.

I don't want to leave. I feel like I should stay.

But I can't.

Because if I do, something awful is going to happen...something that we won't be able to leave in our past and forget about.

Not like the last time.

But, Chandler, I haven't forgotten. Have you?

I know you've tried, most of the time just for my benefit, but please don't forget. Never forget.

But will you forget about me when I am merely memory in your mind, a torn-out page in your book of grievances?

Don't worry, I'll never forget you. But I have to forget this place, this hellhole I've called home for as long as my memory allows me to travel back. If I stay, I'll only get worse. If I stay, there won't be much left of my soul to carry back.

With this I leave you. Enclosed is a lock of my hair. It's nothing much, but it's all I have. Remember me when you are old and gray.

How I wish I would be able to see you when that time comes, but I'm not strong enough. And if I don't leave, it'll only get worse.

I have not filed for divorce, I still love you. But if I don't get away, there will be nothing left of me to get away with. This town has destroyed me, destroyed us. The years have taken their toll, and there's no getting them back.

If you want to speak with me, or even to make this separation permanent, you know where to find me. For even though I can picture you now, pounding the table in frustration claiming you don't know where I've gone, you know in your heart where I'll be.

The candle is almost burned out, the darkness is engulfing me. You don't know it, but I just got up to give you a final kiss.

Goodbye, Chandler. You've been wonderful to me, but the pain is too much. I only wish I could have been better for you. You deserve much better than me.

I will miss you with all that's left of my heart.

Goodbye.

i feel just like i'm sinking

and i claw for solid ground

i'm pulled down by the undertow

i never thought i could feel so low

oh, darkness, i feel like letting go

----

Taking one last glace at the place she had called home for many years and at the man she had loved with all of her heart, she turned around, tasted the salty tears that burned her tongue and stained her heart, and blew out the candle...leaving her tainted world behind.

----

Okay, so I'd be willing to bet you are all confused, but hang in there. ( I really don't have much time to be writing another fic, but I'll deal with it. I enjoy it too much to be burdened by it. ;))

Please, please, leave me a review. I really am curious as to whether this should be a standalone or not.

Have a great weekend, guys!

Mel