You Can Change What Happens
By Threshie
AN: This's a strange partial story I wrote one morning when inspiration struck at 4:30. Usually I would just let a scene like this float around on my hard-drive, but every time I re-read this one I think other people would enjoy reading it…so here it is. Please tell me what you think so that I can decide to finish it or not—I have a rough idea of the ending, but I think maybe what's here already is a good place to stop. So, please share your thoughts with me. Thank you.
"You are a disgrace to me." The words almost seemed to echo in Shesta's ears, the fury and hatred easy to hear in his commander's voice. "I've been meaning to deal with you for sometime now, Gatti. How dare you act so insolent and insubordinate to me all of the time?"
The sandy blonde-haired boy who knelt before Dilandau bowed his head low to the floor, murmuring, "Please forgive me, Dilandau-sama..." The albino boy made an expression akin to a snarl at this reply, but then paused. Slowly, a cruel smile crept across his face.
"Gatti," he ordered with a sneer, "Take your shirt off." The blonde boy glanced up at him in surprise, so he added with a hiss, "Do it now!"
"H-hai, Dilandau-sama..." Gatti replied uneasily. Shesta watched with growing anxiety as his comrade removed first the large Zaibach shoulder pads, then his leather uniform jacket, followed at last by his blue undershirt. Orders obeyed, he returned to kneeling before Dilandau, who looked momentarily pleased. This expression abruptly vanished as soon as Gatti had once again bowed his head.
"Dalet and Migel," the albino boy called. The two boys named stepped forward, only to hurriedly catch something Dilandau had thrown to them. Shesta felt horror slowly freezing him in place, creeping up to wrap its icy arms around his chest, as he realized that Dalet and Migel each held a metal shackle. "Tie him down," Dilandau commanded smugly, before directing a glare at Gatti. The blonde boy kept his head bowed as the shackles were fitted to his wrists and secured firmly to two small loops raising out of the floor before Dilandau's throne.
"And now your insubordinate comments are your only defense," the albino boy sneered. When Gatti offered no reply, he asked mockingly, "What's wrong, hm? Whatever happened to the outspoken Gatti I used to know?"
Still no answer.
Shesta's chest felt tight--it was hard to breath.
Dilandau was growing impatient. "Say something," he ordered Gatti angrily.
The blonde boy bowed his head a little lower, murmuring, "Please forgive me, Dilandau-sama."
"Forgive you...?" The albino boy spoke softly, thoughtfully. Tilting Gatti's face gently up to lock their azure and crimson eyes, he paused. He'd looked so gentle for a moment that Shesta nearly flinched when he started to scream. "FORGIVE YOU?!" Dilandau's temper seemed to have snapped--there was a resounding crack as he slapped Gatti across the face.
The blonde boy winced, but said nothing as his commander continued his tirade: "You're worthless! The insubordination I've had to take from you is unforgivable, and you won't get away with it this time!" With each emphasized word came another slap, and Shesta could do nothing but watch in silence, horror and fear for Gatti squeezing his chest too tightly for him to breath.
"You remind me of that scum I burnt in their homes in Chale!" Dilandau snatched something up from his throne. Shesta felt sick--it was a flamethrower! "And that's what scum like you should do--BURN!"
Shesta would have cried out if he could, begged Dilandau to stop, but he was somehow paralyzed. Paralyzed and helpless to watch as flames flooded from the weapon's nozzle, dancing over Gatti's arms and chest. The blonde boy screamed in pain, while Dilandau cackled with glee. The flamethrower spat out more seething tendrils; the sight and the sceams both made Shesta sick as Gatti's back was also burned.
I have to stop it--he's going to kill him! Shesta thought desperately. He struggled to move, but the paralysis held fast. It seemed that all he could do was stand there and watch the horrific scene go on. The other Dragon Slayers stood seriously at attention--not one of them looked in the least disturbed over what they were seeing. None of them looked about to help Gatti, either. Don't any of them care Shesta wondered, tears of frustration and horror welling in his eyes, Doesn't anyone care about Gatti but me?
Shesta thought desperately. He struggled to move, but the paralysis held fast. It seemed that all he could do was stand there and watch the horrific scene go on. The other Dragon Slayers stood seriously at attention--not one of them looked in the least disturbed over what they were seeing. None of them looked about to help Gatti, either. care Shesta wondered, tears of frustration and horror welling in his eyes, anyone"Shesta!" The blonde boy turned his head toward the voice, shocked that Gatti could sound so calm. Darkness hugged close to him; everything seemed to have disappeared. Shesta blinked, struggling to see.
"Gatti?" He asked shakily, ignoring the tears in his voice. As hard as he looked, there was no Dilandau nearby. No Dilandau, no flames, and no Gatti. He squinted as a candle was held aloft near him, and at last he realized that he was lying in bed. He shuddered. The nightmare had happened again.
"Hey, you okay?" Gatti's blue eyes held some concern as he peered over the edge of the bed at his friend. Since Shesta slept on the top bunk, he was standing on the ladder at the moment. Shesta looked at him carefully, trying to force the image of his undamaged face over his nightmare's one of him being burnt to death.
"G-Gatti," he stammered, still trembling from the nightmare. Gatti leaned over to get a better look at his face and blinked in surprise.
"Are you...crying?" He asked.
Shesta knew it wasn't that odd of him to stare--as far as he knew, he'd never cried in the other Dragon Slayers' presence before. Swiping at his eyes a bit self-consciously, the blonde boy murmured, "Gatti....p-please try not to make Dilandau-sama angry, o-okay?"
Looking a bit surprised at the change of subject, Gatti answered truthfully, "It's not like I try to make him mad in the first place." He shrugged, "Sometimes it's more important that he knows what I have to say than for me to avoid getting slapped, though."
"Don't," Shesta looked his friend right in the eye. "Please," he said, "You...y-you don't know how angry he really is at you." Feeling his eyes welling with tears at the horrible memories swimming through his head, he quickly broke eye contact and focused on something safe--his hands.
Gatti raised an eyebrow. "Shesta...did you have a nightmare about Dilandau-sama?" With a shaky little sigh, Shesta nodded, swiping at his eyes once more. "Oh, so that's what this is all about," Gatti smiled a little. "Jeez, no need to get so upset! It was just a dream--whatever Dilandau-sama did, I'm sure he'd never do it in real life!"
Shesta glanced at him uneasily and said, "I'm not so sure."
"Dreams are usually unrealistic and blown out of proportion," Gatti shrugged, "I've learned to ignore mine, because of one comforting fact."
Shesta sighed, "What's that?"
"They never come true." Gatti took one look at his friend's undaunted sad expression and rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on! Try and take it a little more lightly," he smiled. "I'll bet he's never, ever done whatever he did in your dream in real life!"
Shesta cringed, "Yes, he has."
"Well, I'll bet he's never done it the way he did in the dream," Gatti leaned forward a little, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. "So, are you ever gonna actually tell me what it was that he did, or are you going to wait until I start betting Guimel's belongings?" He teased. Sweatdropping, Shesta shook his head. "Well?"
"He..." Shesta swallowed, "He burnt somebody."
"A live somebody?" Gatti asked, still teasing a little. He could see that his friend was getting upset again. Silently, Shesta nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Okay, well, I guess he's done that before in real life," Gatti admitted, blinking. "I'm curious, though...Dilandau-sama burns a lot of things, and people, all the time. What made the poor sucker in this dream so different, huh?"
Shesta looked up into his friend's earnest blue eyes and felt that same paralyzing horror as he whispered, "It was you."
For several weeks, Shesta's nightmares continued. The other Dragon Slayers all knew about them by now--it was impossible to stay in the same room and not hear the blonde boy talking in his sleep.
Like the others, Dalet knew that the nightmares concerned Gatti and Dilandau. Unlike everyone else but Gatti and Shesta, he had actually listened while the blonde boy talked about them. Gatti and Shesta had both been so intent on their conversation that neither of them had noticed the brown-haired boy lying awake on his top bunk bed, watching them.
He'd heard everything, and had committed it to memory. If the need ever arose, he could have easily quoted anything the two blondes had said. That was the way Dalet dealt with all important situations. He'd memorize the wording so that if he got in trouble for following orders to the letter he could throw the words back in the face of their speaker. It worked quite well, but never had too pleasant of an effect on Dilandau, which was why Dalet had taken to keeping silent around him.
At any rate, the nightmare situation was not a good one. With Gatti being his usual self in the daytime, he regularly got himself slapped, and Dalet could see Shesta cringe whenever it happened. What if, Dalet mused to himself, Shesta became so protective of Gatti that he tried to get between him and Dilandau?
The results would most certainly not be pretty, and Dalet's pessimistic outlook on everything made the scenarios he was imagining all the uglier. Something had to be done, but at this point no one but he and Gatti knew much about the whole problem. Gatti seemed as laid-back as ever about it, not taking a word of Shesta's warnings about Dilandau's temper seriously.
And now, sitting on his top bunk bed as the others prepared for lights out, Dalet sighed a little. Much as he hated to admit it, it looked like solving the problem was up to him. The other Slayers never really talked to Dalet much. In return for being left unbothered, he never really talked to them. Situations like the current one were, naturally, more than a little awkward should they involve Dalet.
And unfortunately this one would involve him very soon, because if nobody else would force the horrible details out of Shesta so that he could start getting over it, already, then Dalet would have to himself.
"Shesta." The blonde boy opened his eyes, welcoming the excuse not to go to sleep yet. The nightmares were waiting for him, he knew. Still, he was startled to find Dalet's lavender eyes peering at him. The taller boy stood on the ladder up to his bunk bed, holding a candle and looking serious.
"What is it?" Shesta asked quietly, blinking. Dalet never approached any of the other Dragon Slayers for a conversation unless it was direly important, and the blonde boy wondered if something was wrong.
"I need to talk to you," Dalet sighed, sounding unhappy about the idea even as he suggested it. "Can we maybe take a walk in the halls…?"
Shesta had by then decided that something must be terribly wrong. The brown-haired boy had only once ever spoken directly to him before, and that was when they were both convinced that the battle they were going into at the time would be their last. Nonetheless, he crawled out of bed and climbed down the ladder after Dalet returned to the floor, and followed the other Slayer out the door.
The hallway was chill, as always, and so dark that Dalet's candle seemed feeble in comparison. The taller boy walked in silence, gazing down at the metal floor distantly.
"Dalet," Shesta fidgeted, "Please tell me what this is all about. Did something happen to Dilandau-sama?"
Dalet's lavender eyes caught the candlelight as he glanced at the blonde boy without a hint of a smile. "It's not about Dilandau-sama," he murmured, his gaze coming to rest on the candle's flickering flame. "Not yet, anyway."
"Yet?" Shesta asked worriedly, trying his best to read the other boy's facial expression. Dalet looked calm and distantly sad-as always.
At last, the brown-haired boy stopped and turned to Shesta. "Listen," he frowned, "You've been having nightmares about Dilandau-sama, right?"
Uneasily, Shesta nodded, "Y-yes." He sighed, "I guess everybody knows about them now…"
"With as much as you've been talking in your sleep, they're hard to miss," Dalet pointed out. Meeting Shesta's eyes, he said seriously, "You've got to take control of them, Shesta, before they take control of you and make you do something you regret."
Shesta stared at him for a moment, shocked. "Y…you think I'm going to do something I'll regret?" He asked incredulously.
Dalet sighed, "I'm not putting the blame on anyone. I'm just saying, if you don't find some way to stop these nightmares, they're going to affect how you act in the daytime eventually."
"I might do something Dilandau-sama would disapprove of," Shesta voiced the other's thoughts a bit angrily, "Is that what you're trying to say? That some reoccurring nightmare, some stupid dream, could make me disobey Dilandau-sama?"
"Stop it." Dalet frowned. "I didn't come out here to argue with you or accuse you of anything. I know you don't like to hear it, but I'm telling you what I'm telling you because I want to help."
Shesta frowned back, crossing his arms. "Fine--I'll listen," he said quietly. "But I doubt I'll believe you, no matter what you say."
Dalet sighed. "You keep having the same dream, right?"
Still frowning, Shesta nodded.
"Could you describe it to me?"
The blonde boy wasn't sure what to say. He barely even knew Dalet--none of the other Dragon Slayers did, really. He would have been reluctant to recite the horrible dream to anyone, much less a near stranger…
"I know, I'm not that easy to talk to," Dalet admitted, glancing at the floor and looking for the first time a little uncomfortable. "But it's important. If you can't talk about it, you certainly won't be able to overcome it, right?"
"I…suppose," Shesta answered unhappily, glancing at the floor, too. Thinking back on the nightmares made him tremble, as he asked, "Wh…where should I begin?"
"Just tell me what happens first every time. Start at the point where you realize it's the same dream again."
"Okay," Shesta sighed, "Um…we're in the throne room." At Dalet's nod, he continued a bit uneasily, "Gatti's…in trouble again. Dilandau-sama's furious--h-he keeps saying how Gatti's worthless, and how he should have done this a long time ago."
"Done what?" Dalet glanced at him, and Shesta was surprised to find that for once the lavender eyes didn't unnerve him.
"I…I'm not sure," he admitted, focusing on the floor instead of the other boy's face. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Dalet's reaction to what he said, anyway.
"Okay. What happens next?"
Shesta felt the same tightness in his chest as in the dream--it was hard to draw a full breath. "D-Dilandau-sama...makes him t-take his shirt off," he said uneasily.
Dalet blinked at this development, but said, "Alright...and then what?"
"Then..." The blonde boy paused, trying to find the right words. "Um...Dilandau-sama h-had you and Migel...tie Gatti down with some...shackles."
"And then Dilandau-sama burnt him?" Dalet asked, looking distantly concerned.
Maybe he cares about the rest of us more than he lets on, Shesta thought in surprise, answering, "No.
The brunette blinked, "No?"
Shesta shook his head, "No, he...Dilandau-sama w-wants to know why he won't talk. He orders him to say something. G-Gatti says, 'Forgive me'. And then Dilandau-sama..." He swallowed, "Dilandau-sama starts hitting him and...y-yelling at him, and everyone else is just standing there like they don't care at all, and...I-I can't move." He took a slightly shaky breath, finishing, "And...then Dilandau-sama burns him. W-with a flamethrower, Dalet."
"And then you wake up?" Dalet questioned, gazing at the candle's dancing flame thoughtfully.
"Yes." Shesta shivered, hugging himself--the Vione had always been damp and dark and chilly, but more so at night. Thinking about the nightmare didn't help the shaking any.
"Alright." Dalet paused, turning to him. "Shesta, I think I know how you can fix this."
"Really?" The blonde asked, surprised.
Dalet nodded, smiling slightly for the first time Shesta could remember. "I used to have nightmares all the time, so I should know. I deal with mine a few different ways. First, tell yourself before you go to bed each night that if you have a nightmare, you'll realize it's just a dream and change it into a better one. It really works, but you need to say it enough times for your subconscious to understand."
"Okay," Shesta agreed dubiously, "How many times is that?"
"Twenty usually works for me," Dalet answered easily, shrugging. "It goes quicker than it sounds. Secondly, you could try to figure out what the dream is telling you--maybe there's a reason your mind keeps showing you Dilandau-sama hurting Gatti."
Shesta blinked, asking in slight horror, "Like what?"
"I probably couldn't say--everyone has their own symbolism that their mind understands." The brunette sighed, "For example, in my dreams, when I see money it usually means something bad is about to happen that I won't have much control over."
"I wonder why that is?" The blonde boy wondered aloud confusedly. "Usually money is a good thing…" Dalet only offered an uncomfortable glance in reply, before abruptly changing the subject.
"Well," he said pointedly, "We'd better get back to our quarters now—if Dilandau-sama learns we were walking around after lights out, he'll demand to know why, and we can't keep the truth from him if he asks directly…"
Realizing the potential mess Dilandau knowing about his nightmares could make, Shesta nodded, turning and heading back for their rooms. "Good idea." Glancing over his shoulder, he found the brunette following a step behind him. "Dalet, um…thanks for talking to me. I really didn't want to talk about it before, but I feel so much better now that I did."
Dalet smiled faintly, "Heh…I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I kept having nightmares… You're welcome to talk to me anytime."
Smiling, too, Shesta faced forward again and stepped bravely into the darkness, because somehow now he wasn't as afraid of what he'd find there.
--The end…possibly.