My Darling Love
Chapter 69 – Sleeping Beauty
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear drop."
-Anonymous
Wendy did not remember her dream. James pressed no further on their train ride home as bits and pieces of it in the form of questions in her mind surfaced, questions he did not have the answers for. They returned to London and moved into their modest flat, both keeping active in their work. James, a husband and soon-to-be father, now earned another title: breadwinner. Wendy taught her art and she, wife and mother-to-be, was given another title as well, Queen of her castle. What Elizabeth Baker never got to enjoy with her daughter, Mary Darling delighted in. Wendy often came over for tea; they went to lunch and church together, and developed a relationship that would extend further than simply mother and daughter. Soon enough, they were best friends.
And for a few months, everything was wonderful and only got better. Wendy easily labored and easily delivered a beautiful baby girl. She and her husband named her Jane, to honor the daughter George and Mary had lost. Always mindful of the past, no one spoke about it and let bygones be bygones. George held Jane in his arms when she was only a minute old and, although he could not see her, he knew her.
Poor George Darling was completely blind and now also totally deaf, and his only comfort in life came when he lay in bed at night holding his wife Mary. With her beside him, he would make himself stay awake, just to spend the hours of darkness feeling her heart beat. During the hours of light, he stayed beside her always, never at a loss for her touch and that was whether she was alone with him or not. In the evening, she sat with him in the parlor in silence, and held his hand. Mary would not be separated from George, not even for a moment, and so, wherever George was, Mary could be found beside him.
It broke Mary's heart in several different places as George declined, and could not even communicate his simple requests such as asking for a glass of water. With his loss of hearing, his speech was affected, as was his outward appearance. Only seven years Mary's senior, George now seemed aged enough to be her father. He could not dress himself, nor do much else without constant assistance. He could never be left alone, not even when he used the bathroom, which George found humiliating not only for himself, but for Mary as well. Worse if he were to suffer an accident on the way to the washroom.
George felt he was a burden to his beloved, although she thought not. He fell silent due to his embarrassment that his words were slurred and incomprehensible. His crying became a constant though, as was the heartache to his lovely wife, who fell to her knees and held him until he stopped. She offered him reassuring words of her undying love and commitment to him, aware that it fell on deaf ears. She too stayed awake at night and listened to him breath, counting the beats of his heart that kept in time with hers. Mary's only peace came at times during the afternoon when George fell into a light nap on his favorite chair. Then and only then did she weep for her husband and his afflictions out loud and inconsolably.
George was ready. It came one day at dinner as Wendy and James earnestly blurted out that she was again with child, after only after having Jane two months prior. George didn't hear the happy news, but he felt his daughter's hand upon his, guiding it lovingly over her belly. He touched her face and she nodded, and he knew there was to be another baby for her and James. He clutched his wife's hand and motioned that it was time for him to retire, even before their dessert was served. Mary dressed him in his pajamas and laid him comfortably in bed, kissing his forehead and then his lips, before taking her place beside him. "I love you George, sweet dreams…"
George said his prayers and went to sleep under a magnificent full moon. When he awoke at the break of dawn something was very strange as he sat up in bed. He could not put his finger on it, so instead he put on his spectacles. And there it was, plain as day: he could see. Therefore, with clear vision he could now gaze upon the many happy people in his room that came just to greet him. A familiar voice of the kindest heart, long lost in time, rang out in his ears, his hearing returned as well, "We've been waiting all night, George." After the hugging and kissing, the whole cheerful lot of them left the room together and George turned around to watch in awe, one last time, his darling love, the exquisite Mary Elizabeth, still asleep.
Mary walked into the bedroom, hastily straightening things that most would not consider out of place, rambling nonsense about reprimanding the maid, or just cleaning the room herself, giving a sleeping George a casual remark of "George, wake up, Wendy and James are here with the baby." When he did not respond, knowing him completely hard of hearing, Mary shouted while tapping on his chest, "GEORGE, WENDY AND JAMES BROUGHT JANE FOR A VISIT. YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP ALL MORNING GEORGE! NOW WAKE UP! THEY ARE DOWNSTAIRS AND YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR PAJAMAS."
Mary was aware he couldn't hear her, but she felt the normalcy of speaking with him comforting. She pecked his cheek, "Get up, lazy bones," before bending down to lift his bathrobe up off the floor. From there, she threw his pair of shoes in the wardrobe and chose his wears for the day ahead. To his dresser to gather the rest, she turned to see him still resting. "I've already run your bath dearest. Now open those beautiful blue eyes this very minute!" She stared at him intently, shivering from the strange emptiness disguised in a chilled breeze that suddenly blew in from the open window. Mary slowly stepped to the window, slamming it shut. From the window, she glanced back to the bed, shaking her head. "It's cold in here George. Why ever would you open the window?" she exclaimed.
Trousers, shirt, sweater, underpants, socks, and handkerchief in hand, Mary strolled alongside of his peaceful shape brushing her hand over his cheek, "George, my darling love, you are so cold. Wake up and I'll take you to the warm bath awaiting you. That will help you feel better. George, please open your eyes, its time to wake up." She continued to stroke his cheek, and each time she spoke her voice grew more and more pleading. "George please, please for me. Please wake up. Look at me George." Mary raised his hand to her cheek, it fell to the bed as she released it. "Please George, please wake up…" She raised his hand again, this time holding it to her face. "George…"
Wendy stood at the bottoms of the steps for over an hour with James holding a sleeping baby Jane in his arms before gathering the courage to walk up the stairs. James touched her hand as it hit upon the railing, "No, I'll go alone," she replied to his silent face, and slowly took each step. Wendy reached the landing and walked quicker, hearing her mother humming in her bedroom. Like she was taught as a child, she knocked before entering, only to find her mother lying alongside her father, holding him in a loving embrace to her chest.
Mary had wrapped George up in a blanket, and was stoking his head and face, "He's just cold, Wendy, when he warms up a little he'll wake up, go wait downstairs. He would be upset if you saw him in his pajamas." Wendy watched a single tear run down her mother's beautifully aged face, landing on George's head, which she quickly wiped away. "Look at me, George, I'm being silly, crying like a baby."
"Mother," Wendy had her tears, too, and they now fell as she watched Mary neatly tuck the sides of the blanket covering George in underneath him, "See, George, you will get warm and then you will wake up. You're just a little cold. I don't know why the window was left open last night. I hope you don't get sick again, I'll never forgive myself. But if you do, don't worry I'll take care of you. Now you just get warm, and wake up or you will miss the beautiful day I have planned for us."
Wendy slowly turned around quietly closing the door to her parent's room taking the stairs down to James. "He's gone to heaven, Gwendolyn," James said as she fell into his arms. Wendy cried as James kissed her forehead and handed her their newborn.
"At least he got to see her," Wendy sniffled, taking the baby into the parlor and resting with her on the sofa. "I mean at least he got to hold her, he couldn't see her, but he knew she was there, he told me."
Wendy clutched Jane to her chest and composed herself enough to speak. "Please call my brother, call my uncle, and call the priest," Wendy requested, staring adoringly the little angel from heaven God sent to her and her husband.
"I already did, your Uncle Harry is on his way, your brother cannot make it now, but he will come later to stay with your mother. As for the priest," James spoke softly looking up the stairs, "there is no other you will find closer to God here."
"James," Wendy started, catching his attention, "my mother thinks he is sleeping. She doesn't know he's…"
James interrupted his wife by raising his hand, "Yes, Gwendolyn, she does know. She knows he's gone."
James went up the stairs and found Mary just as Wendy had left her, still holding George, now only tighter crying over him. She saw him enter her room and tried as she had since she found George, "He is asleep, James. Oh George, he will be so mad when he wakes up and finds his family waiting for him. He likes things done promptly. George, now wake up. I won't be cross for you making me wait to see your angelic blue eyes open once more…" That is as far as she could go with her charade.
"Why did I not stay with him this morning? I always stay with him 'til he awakes! That way, he doesn't have to be afraid he is alone. He wakes up and I am there and I tell him I love him. I should have waited for him. DAMN! I wanted to get a head start on the day. I just wanted to run him his bath and make sure the maid tidied the parlor for company. I awoke, James, and I slipped out of bed without telling him I loved him…"
James gently eased Mary off the bed and hugged her. Looking down deeply into her tranquil eyes filled with unimaginable grief, he ended a charade of his own, "Do you really believe, Madam, that your George went to heaven thinking he was unloved?"
Mary stared at him, shocked to hear Captain Hook's voice hidden within the body of her son-in-law, the former Father Dunange. She touched his cheek and then quickly rested her head in his chest and shook it. "He was alone. He woke up and I wasn't here and he was scared. He was alone, Captain … He died alone because I wasn't there for him when he needed me," Mary said, muffling her cry as she fell to her knees.
"He was not alone, Madam, you slept beside him. He did not die this morning, he died in the night while he slept. Look at him Madam, he passed from the darkness into the light, peaceful in his dreams."
Mary rushed back to George on the bed and held him with all her might. She kissed his forehead, his lips, his hands and his lips once more. She jerked her head to James, begging as if for her life, "Please do not let God take George from me, I cannot live without him, I am wasted here without him. I love him. He is my life. He has my heart. Tell God, Captain, that he has my heart and I cannot live without him …"
James touched her head and took a seat on a chair by the bed. "God is silent, Madam, but I know what He would say in the matter. He would tell you, Mary; your heart is here with you in your family. George's heart with you inside will now reign in heaven, Madam."
Uncle Harry came and brought the undertaker, the grandson of the man who employed George as a newlywed. It was to be no easier for George's brother. Mary shoved everyone out of her room and locked herself in with George's body. Through the door she shouted, "Go away, George will be furious when he wakes up! Who told you to call the undertaker, Harry! How dare you! You will be sorry later!"
John wanted to break the door down, as did James. Harry kept his sense about him and implored Mary to at least to let him in to talk. She did, and the moment he entered, she slammed the door and relocked it, shutting her family -- including her children -- out. "I don't want to leave him, Harold. He will be alone without me. Please don't take him, what if he wakes up?" Mary said not allowing Harry anywhere near George, still resting on the bed, covered in her blanket.
"Mary, you must let him go, he will not wake up, dear heart, George is dead. You cannot stay with his body in this way. Please, it's only for now. I will take you to him after a short while, I promise. But the undertaker, you've met the gentleman, Mary, he is very honorable and he must be entrusted with him now. I will not leave him, Mary, I swear I will stay with George. I will go with John and pick out the finest coffin for him and then will go to the church to make all the arrangements. You stay here and rest." Harry spoke as he looked over Mary's shoulder to his baby brother, blessed to have passed in his sleep.
Mary conceded only because, "You promise, you will bring me to him later so that I may see him and make sure he is alright." Harry nodded.
"I want his wedding band before you take him from me." Mary went to George on the bed and attempted to remove the ring that had never, not once, been removed from his finger since she placed it there on their wedding day long ago. Mary's hand shook uncontrollably and she did not have the strength of heart, mind or hand to remove it. "I must have it." She wept as she tried yanking it from George's finger. Harry sat across from her, and in one gentle tug, eased the ring down and off, handing it to Mary. "He will be so angry with me, Harry, for taking it from him. But I must have it." Mary wept.
"You'll want to keep his spectacles and pocket watch I'm sure as well," Harry queried, watching her.
"Yes," Mary replied retaking George's hand, which Harry had tenderly laid on the bed. "I'm sorry George, but I must have these things."
Mary spent the rest of the afternoon in her room staring at the portrait that hung there of George looking up to her from the street below. She laid out all his personal effects on their bed, his wedding band, his watch, his spectacles, pictures of their children, little mementos she kept of their life together. As night fell, she sat in his wardrobe, with his wedding ring hung about her neck on a gold chain resting closest to her heart, and cried again.
John had moved his family back to England, as he considered living in America too expensive. "This helped me sleep the first few weeks when Margaret went missing," John offered, taking George's favorite sweater wrapping it around his pillow from the bed.
Wendy helped her mother from the closet and stayed with her while she bathed. After she was dressed for bed, Mary asked, "We will see your father tomorrow, Uncle Harry promised."
Wendy held her tears, to be strong for Mary; "Yes mother, and James, Baby Jane and I are sleeping in the nursery tonight, so if you need us, all you have to do is call." Mary rested back and clutched George's pillow to her chest, "He loved this sweater, and I gave it to him for Christmas twenty years ago."
These truly were the hardest days to get past for everyone involved. George was laid to rest, just as his son Michael and daughter Jane, his own parents and in-laws were in the church cemetery. However difficult it was for his children, it was worse for their mother. Without her pillar of strength to hold her up in her grief, Mary fell. Luckily, James and Harry were there to catch her, "Madam, I know the sorrow you feel consumes you, but you must stand for your children, for your husband cannot."
The first morning she awoke after the earth covered George; Mary tried to kill herself by slashing her wrists with his shaving razor. James found her in the bathroom, "Madam, remember your promises to him. If you go before you are called, you will not find yourself in the same place as your beloved. It will be truly an eternity without him, for once you are immortal, death cannot bring you salvation."
Mary would not be parted with any of his things, not his clothes nor his shoes or even his toothbrush. Harry, George's loyal brother and her closest friend, helped there as well, "Mary, George cannot be found in these things, you carry him with you in your heart."
James wholeheartedly agreed to that statement and offered another, "If you want to see him, go to your heart, if you want to speak to him, say your words out loud, he will hear them, he listens to you now in heaven, Madam."
"Mother must stay with someone," John and his wife discussed openly with James and Wendy in the parlor once Mary took her rest in bed. "After all she has been through in her life, the last thing she deserves is to be alone. I think we should sell the house and move mother in with us, that's best," John told his older sister, ignoring James' opinion of, "I think she would fare better if she were allowed to stay in her home."
Wendy watched an argument grow between her husband and her brother, loud enough to wake the baby sleeping in the cradle by them. "How dare you tell me what's best for my mother, worry after your own parents," John shouted, rising up.
"I have no parents to worry after, and I think you will only kill your mother quicker if you take her from this house and her memories here," James retorted, remaining seated.
"Well, that's what she wants! She wants to die! If you ask me, now that my father is dead, the sooner the better! It will lessen her suffering and years without him yet to come!" John shouted, causing James to stand up and grab John about his jacket collar and thrust him hard into the wall. Mrs. John Darling screamed and began to slap James demanding her husband be released.
Wendy remained silent, even as her sister-in-law, yelled for help in breaking the two men up. James had the red fire that burned in his eyes when he was angered to the boiling point. He took what was once his hook, now only a false hand crafted from wood and shoved it up into John's belly. But there was no blood, no gutting to take place, only John bent over at the waist in stifling pain having the air knocked out of him.
"What is going on downstairs?" Mary called from the top landing, taking to the steps when the room fell silent with exception of a hysterical Jane that Wendy could not calm. Mary made her way down the stairs calling out for explanation. She peered into the parlor and saw her son on the floor, his wife beside him, James staring at his false hand no longer a hook, and Wendy watching her husband in terror.
"Give me that baby," Mary demanded, practically yanking Jane from Wendy's arms, taking a seat with the baby on George's chair. "She'll wake the whole neighborhood."
Only a moment in Mary's arms, baby Jane was blissfully asleep, "Wendy, one does not quiet a baby by smothering it. You should learn that now, as you are already expectant with another. Now I will ask you all again, what is going on in my house?"
There were a barrage of voices flooding over one another giving varied explanations of the ideas, the insults and the assault, which grew louder and louder until once again Captain Hook and John were at each other's throats. Uncle Harry stopped by, and, helpful man that he was, tried to intervene, only to get swept up in the mayhem when John accidentally punched him in the jaw. Wendy slapped John's wife for slapping James and soon they rolled around on the floor pulling each other's hair and smacking.
"Mary, do something…" Harry's requested getting tripped back into the jumble trying to walk over her family who were punching each other on the floor. "When they are ready to listen I will speak." But still the chaos continued. Jane woke up again and gave voice in the shouting and Mary, the mother, only shook her head and began to rock Jane back to slumber with a quiet hum. Jane was back asleep once more, John had a blackened eye, Harry safely made it to Mary, taking a seat beside her, and Wendy along with Caroline gave up and made up, Mary finally spoke.
"SILENCE IN MY HUSBAND'S HOUSE!" Mary declared in a voice that shook paintings on the wall, standing up still holding Jane asleep in her arms. She sat back down as everyone present straightened themselves and rose to their feet, clutching to their respective partners.
"George would be so disappointed in all of you, every single last one. There is no need to fight over me or anything in this house or your father's bank accounts. All he ever wanted while he was alive was for his family to be happy. He wouldn't want to see you fighting like this. And if he were here, he would give his children a spanking for being so disagreeable, and throw everyone else out of his house for being disrespectful to him. I will ask you for the third time, for I have witnessed the argument that follows the discussion I am just at a loss as to what this is about."
John knelt by his mother, gently rubbing her arm, "Mother, I have decided that it is best that we sell this house, for it is in need of many expensive repairs, and I have offered that you should come live with me in my home with my family."
Mary watched him with a blank expression and turned to Wendy, "And your feelings on this?"
Wendy turned to James, and just as her mother taught her she let her husband speak for her. But James was quiet, only offering, "Your mother asked you a question, Gwendolyn."
Wendy swallowed the knot in her throat and replied, "I think its best you stay here in your home, but I am worried that you will be alone and lonely here, and pass on quicker than God intends." Mary glanced to James, who stood as a Captain on the deck of his own ship, and bowed to Mary with the same formality the pirate captain was so fond of.
Mary turned her attention next to Harry, who only shrugged his shoulders, giving Mary, "I just stopped by to check in on you and the children, plus I wanted to see Jane."
Mary eased back in George's chair and directed, "James, take your daughter," which he did, and placed her back in her bassinet.
Before Mary could speak, John spoke up, "It would just be so much easier if father had left a will, that way we would know what his last wishes were." John sat on the floor nearest his mother.
"I am his wife, I have been his wife obviously longer than you have been alive. No one knows your father better than I. Do you think that I am unaware of his final wishes? Do you need to see them in print in order to believe that what I know in my heart is true? I have not read his will, but I have it." Out of her pocket she pulled a long envelope, parchment with fancy script writing with George's name embossed on an unbroken seal shutting the letter, keeping it safe from prying eyes. Mary handed it to John and said, "Read it, but not aloud." It took John a few minutes to scan the pages, the further he read the more tears filled his eyes and rained down his cheeks.
"What does it say?" Wendy asked, trying to read over her brother's shoulder only to be pushed away by him. This was a private moment that John wanted to treasure for himself. When he finished, he looked to his mother, who replied, "It says that as long as I am alive, I am to stay in this house with my memories of him and our life together. He leaves it in the care of his brother Harry with James and Wendy. They are more than welcome to move in and spend their lives here together long after I am gone. He left certain finances for the house in the hands of James and Harry, dividing the responsibilities equally. The rest of his investments and savings will go to John. There are accounts set up for each of his children, son-in-law and daughter-in-law, all our grandchildren and he has even set up three accounts leaving them anonymous for any grandchildren not yet born. Everyone -- including the house staff -- will continue to receive allowances, as will the church and several others living in France."
"Living in France, who the hell lives in France that father knows and supports?" Wendy asked grabbing the will out of John's hands.
"Children of your Uncle Peter, that your father has supported out of his good graces and merciful heart since he became aware of their existence." Mary stood up and rubbed her aching neck.
"There are over nine names listed here! He couldn't have been supporting them all these years without anybody knowing," John said, stunned.
Mary straightened her robe and kissed John on his cheek, "He is not the only one who sends support or knew of Peter's children. I have been aware of them for years, and your Uncle Harry sends his own funds to help those poor souls along as well." Mary answered giving her brother-in-law a backwards glance complete with smile.
She now embraced Wendy and offered her the same kiss. Mary embraced John's wife and straightened her disheveled hair. She clutched hands with Harry, who had cried his fair share of tears for George. "He told me the day we buried Jane about your arrangement with him and Peter's children," Mary hinted, and Harry responded, "I do not even think Peter was aware of those fatherless children he left in the world, thank God for that."
Last, she stood before James, who again bowed before his queen. "And here we are at last, Captain," she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "It was your pen, but his words." James nodded looking deeply into her eyes, seeing in them the beautiful youthful lovely lady she once was so long ago. "I told him to leave his letter in a more obvious location, but he insisted your drawer of dreams, for once he was gone, he knew you would look there for him."
Mary left her family downstairs and returned to the privacy of her bedchamber alone. Without another word, for there was not much left to be said, everyone in the house, with exception of Uncle Harry, left into the night. "Are you sure mother will be alright alone?" Wendy asked, as Uncle Harry helped her into the car for the drive home. "I will stay and keep watch tonight," he replied.
Harry returned into the house and found Mary had already laid out blankets for him in the nursery. He tapped on her door just to be polite and inform her of his occupancy of the spare bed, and Mary peeked her head out of her room and answered, "Thank you, Harry. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams, Mary," he responded, and with that, he went to bed. Neither slept a wink, crying tears for George all night alone in their rooms. In the morning as the new day began, Harry headed off to the tavern for his work, and Mary remained all alone in the house, with her memories of George and their life together there.
Mary was alone only until the morning sun burned high in the sky. Wendy stopped over with Jane to visit and to specifically ask, "Mother, is it alright if James, I and baby Jane move in here? We won't be any bother to you."
Mary smiled her first of many smiles to come, even with George gone and replied, "I would be honored to share my home with you and your family, Gwendolyn Angelina Darling Dunange."