Sweet Kioku (Sweet Memory) – One shot
SUMMARY: Kagome's a suicidal goth living in a world of hatred and darkness. Everyone at school despises her, including the boy she loves, Inuyasha. Now the day has come when she's ready to swallow the pills and end everything.
A/N: Okay, this is a VERY sad fic, so if you don't like sad fics, you may not want to continue. I cried several times while writing it. However, I do have an alternate ending that I will post if I get at least ten reviews. The alternate ending is much happier, but I will only post it if I get ten reviews!! Okay, enjoy the story!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha blah blah blah.
Bold type Kagome's writing
Italic type Kagome's thoughts
Kagome's Diary
Dear Diary,
Today was bad. Every day is bad.
The morning classes were bad. I got yelled at by the teacher for being late, then, on my way to my seat, Inuyasha stuck his foot out and tripped me. I fell on the floor. Everyone laughed at me. I think even the teacher laughed a little.
Then lunch came. Inuyasha tripped me again. My tray of food flew everywhere and splattered on the floor. I didn't have anymore money to buy another lunch, so I had to go hungry. And I got chunks of macaroni and cheese in my hair. They all laughed at me.
Laugh, laugh, laugh. Is that all the students here are good for? Most of them are failing anyway. Their only purpose must be to cause me pain and then laugh in my face whenever I fall.
But it's okay. I'm going to die today.
I remember the last time I said I was going to kill myself, I kept postponing the date. That was because my best friend Sango was there for me. But she's not anymore. She's popular now. She doesn't have time for me anymore because she has to go to the mall and put on make up and impress boys now. I wish I could be like that. But I don't have that kind of happiness in me anymore.
I wish Inuyasha would remember. I wish he would remember the times when we were little and he was my best friend. I wish he would remember how he gave me my first and only kiss ever. But maybe he never meant it. We were little, after all. Little kids do stupid things.
I did a stupid thing when I was little. I fell in love with Inuyasha.
But people change. Inuyasha has changed. Now he's a jock and he makes fun of me and hurts me to make everyone laugh. My pain is his popularity.
But I don't want to dwell on the past. It'll all be over soon. I have a whole big bottle of pills just for today.
Kagome stopped writing for a moment and looked at her words. The words she had written in her diary. They were sad words. Words filled with the pain of being hated.
But the words were filled more with the pain of loving someone who hated her.
Kagome flipped to the back inside cover of her diary, where she had taped a picture of her and Inuyasha when they were little. They were holding hands and smiling. There were trees and sunshine in the background.
Kagome frowned, remembering how, shortly after the picture was taken, Inuyasha moved to another part of town. She didn't see him again until she started going to middle school.
Kagome remembered her first day of middle school. She saw Inuyasha and ran up to him to say hi.
"Inuyasha, is that you??" Kagome asked him happily. These were the days when Kagome was bright and cheerful. The days before everyone hated her. The days before her father died. The days when her mother was one of her best friends.
"What do you want?" Inuyasha growled at her. Kagome looked at him, startled. What's with him? she wondered.
"Um, I just wanted to say hi, since we haven't seen each other in a while," Kagome said quietly.
"Okay, hi. Now leave me alone," Inuyasha snapped at her.
Kagome had hurt all day that day. And after a while, Inuyasha started making fun of her. And he had made fun of her all the way through middle school, and now she was a junior in high school. And she didn't want to feel this pain anymore.
"Kagome, Souta and I are leaving!!" Ms. Higurashi shouted up the stairs, disrupting Kagome's thoughts.
"Okay!" Kagome shot back. Good, Kagome thought, they won't be here when I kill myself.
After the door slammed shut, Kagome was ready. She picked up the bottle and poured seven or eight pills in her hand. She had a glass of water ready.
Her room was dark. Her window was shut with the curtain down.
For a moment, she sat on her bed. Just reminiscing. She remembered, when she was nine years old, she got her first kiss from Inuyasha. They remained best friends throughout elementary school. She focused her mind on those painful memories. She saw her younger self, smiling at her. And she saw a younger Inuyasha smiling at her. She remembered games of tag and hide and seek. She remembered when Inuyasha had picked her a bouquet of dandelions. Her mother had put them in a small glass vase full of water. And when the dandelions wilted, Kagome cried. She remembered when her mother used to bring Inuyasha and Kagome to the ice cream shop every day after school. And sometimes her father came, too. And Souta. The five of them would go to the nearby park and eat their ice cream. And Inuyasha would push Kagome on the swings.
Kagome focused completely on the memories as she placed three pills in her mouth. She took a drink of water. She swallowed three pills.
Okay, five more to go, Kagome thought.
She placed another three in her mouth. She took another drink of water. She had now swallowed six pills. It was already enough to kill her.
Two more....Kagome thought.
The pills had a bitter taste as she put the last two in her mouth. She took another drink. She swallowed. She had swallowed eight pills.
She finished her glass of water. She took a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote her suicidal note:
This is no one's fault. It is my fault. I love you mom. I love you Souta. I will tell dad you guys said hi when I see him in heaven. I love you as a sister Sango.
And Inuyasha......I love you and I always will, no matter how much you hurt me.
Love, Kagome Higurashi
By this point Kagome was sobbing uncontrollably. She hurt so bad inside, now worse than ever. She just kept telling herself that the pain would pass. Now she just had to wait.
The phone rang suddenly.
Her vision was blurred by tears. She stumbled down the stairs, trying to steady herself. She felt dizzy. Nauseas.
She picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said in a shaky voice.
".....Kagome?" said a quiet voice.
It was him.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!??" Kagome screamed. She had lost all control. She was about to die, and now Inuyasha was deciding to call.
"I-I wanted to tell you....I'm sorry. For everything. I hurt you a lot today. I hurt you every day. Sango told me today why you went gothic. I never knew it was because of me......" Inuyasha trailed off. He......he was crying.
Kagome laughed. An insane laugh. The laugh of a person who had lost her way, then found it right before she was about to die.
Her laughing subsided. Inuyasha had been quiet the whole time.
Kagome's head throbbed. Her mouth was dry. Her nausea had increased. Her mind was foggy and she couldn't think clearly. It was hard to breathe.
"It's okay, Inuyasha!" Kagome chirped in an insanely cheerful voice. "I'm going to die any minute now, so it's okay!! I forgive you! I took a bunch of pills just now, so I won't be hurt anymore!" Kagome started laughing again.
"No......NO YOU DIDN'T!!" Inuyasha screamed. Kagome could hear the fear in his voice.
"Yes, I did!!" Kagome shouted, still laughing. he couldn't understand why she was laughing. There was a pause.
"OH, SHIT!!" Inuyasha shouted. "KAGOME, LISTEN TO ME!! I'M GOING TO CALL A HOSPITAL, OKAY!!??" Inuyasha was crying again.
Kagome heard him crying. She heard his fear. Hell, it wasn't just fear. Inuyasha was terrified.
So Kagome started crying hysterically. This made her head hurt worse. Darkness edged her vision. She fell silent, trying to keep herself steady.
"Kagome?" asked the voice on the phone. "KAGOME!!!!!!"
Barely conscious, Kagome tried to speak. Inuyasha was screaming her name.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome said quietly.
Inuyasha instantly stopped screaming.
"I love you," she whispered.
Darkness suddenly consumed her mind. She began shaking violently. She collapsed.
The receiver fell and dangled from its cord.
Inuyasha began screaming again.
"KAGOME!!! KAGOME, PLEASE ANSWER ME!!!! PLEASE!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T GO!!! PLEASE, KAGOME!!! I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!"
Ambulances came later and brought Kagome to the hospital. Inuyasha came. He cried more than he had ever cried in his life.
Kagome did not take one breath the whole way to the hospital.
ENDING ONE
Inuyasha read her last diary entry. He could feel the sadness seeping off the pages.
He hated this. He didn't want to be here. Her room was dark and smelled like her. It made him think of her. He didn't want to think of her. Not now.
Inuyasha's eyes were empty. He felt nothing. All his emotion had been used up, crying over Kagome. Now there was nothing. He was empty inside.
When Kagome died, a big part of Inuyasha had died, too.
He looked through the window. The window was the only light source in the room.
They were burying Kagome in her backyard next to her favorite tree.
Inuyasha knew that he should be down there. But he couldn't. Not now.
Inuyasha put the diary away. Two things fell out of it. It was a piece of paper and a picture.
He walked over to the window so that he could see. He read the tiny note.
This is no one's fault. It is my fault. I love you mom. I love you Souta. I will tell dad you guys said hi when I see him in heaven. I love you as a sister Sango.
And Inuyasha......I love you and I always will, no matter how much you hurt me.
Love, Kagome Higurashi
Inuyasha reread the last part.
And Inuyasha......I love you and I always will, no matter how much you hurt me.
Then he looked at the picture. It was him and Kagome when they were little, holding hands.
Inuyasha put the picture and the note in his pocket. Then he hugged his knees to his chest......
....and cried.
A/N: Okay, is anyone else crying!!? I am!! Okay, please review a lot because I want to post the alternate ending!!! It's so much happier!!!! Ten reviews for a better ending!! The alternate ending will be posted as a separate chapter. (Sniffs)