STARING AT THE SUN
BELLA P.O.V
CHAPTER 22
If there was anything I loved more than Jacob, it was Hawaii. Our second day in Hawaii was spent at the beach. Leah and her girlfriend, Kali joined us. We were all sitting on towels, looking out towards the water where Seth and Jacob were play fighting. Dad, Billy, and Sue were sitting behind us. Rachel and Paul were both asleep under the umbrella next to us. I played with the ring on my finger while I watched Jacob running away from Seth who was hot on his heels.
"I can't believe he proposed." Leah grabbed my hand and held it in the sun. "And it's so pretty." I smiled at her words.
"Yeah it is." I couldn't believe that he proposed either. How was it that we were going to get married?
"When are you gonna start planning?" I shrugged. I was in no rush to get married. I don't think he was either, he just thought that it was right time to propose. I was actually shocked.
"We knew it was happening." Sue said from behind us in her chair next to Charlie.
"You did?" I asked.
"He asked for my blessing." I smiled at Charlies words.
"And you said yes?" I was even more shocked by that. We had been fighting a lot recently I'm surprised Charlie would give him his blessing.
"No." I laughed. "I said 'Are you sure?'" Jacob came over then.
"And I said 'I've never been so sure'." I smiled at the words. Knowing that no matter what, he has always been secure in our relationship. When I had my doubts that I was good enough, he was there knowing that I was. He leaned down and grabbed my face to kiss me.
"Ew." Leah groaned from beside me. Jacob's towel was on my right and Seth's was next to his. They were both sweaty and gross as they sat down. Sue came over and started covering Seth in sunscreen.
"I don't need this." Seth whined making me chuckle. I loved being surrounded by everyone.
"Wanna go for a swim?" Jacob asked me, holding out his hand. I set mine in his and he pulled me up to him. We headed to the water together. "I like this bathing suit." He pulled on the strap as soon as my feet hit the water. We headed into the water. He held me as we floated.
"I can't believe we're engaged." I smiled, wrapping my legs around him. He held the back of my thighs in his big warm hands making me smile and remember last night.
****Last Night***
I couldn't wait to get back from dinner. We had gone out with the whole group to celebrate but all I wanted was to get Jacob back to the hotel room and fast. I needed him. I had never needed him as much as I needed him right now. As much as I loved our family and wanted to hang out with them, I wanted to be alone with my fiance.
It was weird calling him that. As soon as that room door closed, he pushed me against the wall and grabbed my throat. I smiled at him as he kissed me.
"Been waiting to get you out of this dress for damn hours." He nearly growled, lifting the blue sundress and sliding a hand up my thigh. I wrapped my legs around him as he pressed into me. I was unbuttoning his shirt as he dropped to his knees in front of me. He held the back of my thighs and let my legs fall over his shoulders. "Perfect." He blew out a breath onto my clit. I squirmed, trying to get him to do something.
"Please." I groaned. He carefully moved my panties to the side before licking a slow line with the tip of his tongue through my folds and onto my clit before biting it. I moaned out, bucking my hips into his face. He quickly thrust two fingers inside me before sucking on my clit. I arched my back, grinding myself on his face. He moaned between my legs, the vibrations shooting right through me. I moaned loud and grabbed his hair holding him against me.
He ate me out like he was being sentenced to death and I was his last meal. I came all over his tongue, moaning loud trying my hardest to get my breathing back to normal. My heart was pumping so fast I swear it was going to fly out of my chest.
He carried me over to the bed and threw me onto it before lifting the dress over my head. Rachel said this was the type of dress that you didn't need to wear a bra and because my boobs were small enough, it was okay to go without. Jacob seemed to enjoy that the entire time that we were at dinner. I swear it was the only thing he was focused on all night.
I was finally able to get his shirt unbuttoned and was working on his shorts when he got too impatient with me and took them off himself. As soon as we were both naked, he flipped me over so I was laying on my stomach. Instead of being on my hands and knees, he left me like that and slowly thrust into me from behind. I moaned into a pillow the second he shoved in.
His thrusts were hard and slow as he worked me up. I reached between me and the bed to rub my clit.
"That's it. Rub yourself while I fuck you. Wanna feel you cum all over me." I moaned at the words, breathing hard. "Fuck." He grabbed one of my legs and hiked it up, hitting inside me at a different angle making me cry out in pleasure.
"Jacob!" I shouted, reaching around to grab his thigh. My fingers slowed on my clit as I got closer to the edge. I was not going to last much longer. His hips kept snapping into mine sending me over the edge. I have no idea what was leaving my mouth, couldn't even tell if he was making sense of it all but he didn't stop. "Oh god!" I moaned. He quickly pulled over and flipped my over, putting my legs over his shoulders again as he thrust into me. I gripped his arms as hard as I could. I was barely over my orgasm before the next one was starting to build.
His lips attacked my neck in kisses as I moaned below him. I loved feeling his weight on top of me. I lifted my hips to meet his thrusts, loving hearing the moans leave his lips. I would never get over the way he would breathlessly say my name as he got closer. I swear the first time I heard it I was going to die. Now I make sure to get him to say it every time we fine ourselves here. I could never get enough of him. I could have it for the rest of my life and it still would never be enough.
"Cum for me." I moaned, wanting so badly for him to explode inside me. "Cum inside me."
"You gonna take every drop?" He asked.
"Yes!" I shouted, moaning as he rolled my clit between two fingers. "Please cum inside me, Jake." Just as the words left my mouth, he moaned out, orgasming deep inside me. I moaned at the feeling that sent me over the edge. He panted above me, nearly crushing me as he laid on me. Once he came down, he slowly pulled out and rolled off me. I giggled as I moved closer to him.
"I love you." He breathed out. "So much."
"I love you. I can't wait to marry you."
"I can't wait to marry you, Mrs. Black." I smiled at the name. I would love nothing more than to be his wife. I could not wait to be Mrs. Jacob Black. It's a title that I am so proud to have.
"I can't wait to call you my husband." I smiled, resting my head on his chest. His heartbeat was racing just as fast as mine. He turned the tv on while we relaxed. I lazily ran my finger over his abs and his belly button. He stayed silent as I rose to my knees. "Ready for round two?"
I was sunburnt and miserable. After spending the day at the beach, we headed to dinner with Paul and Rachel. Billy and Charlie were both with Leah and Sue. I had Jake rub aloe on me before we left the hotel room but I was still in so much pain.
"I'm sorry." He kissed the back of my neck when I complained for the 10th time that I didn't feel good.
"You made all of us put it on but never put any on yourself." For the most part I stayed out of the sun so it must have been when I was in the water with Jake. I knew we shouldn't have stayed out there for as long as we did.
"I'll be okay." I smiled, holding his hand. I wouldn't trade this for the world. Being somewhere warm with some of the most important people was all that mattered. Sleeping and having sex tonight might be awful but we would deal with that when that time came.
"Other than that did you have a good day?" He asked.
"I had a lovely day." I smiled. "I love being here." Hawaii was beautiful and if it as up to me, we would never leave. But sadly our trip would be over in 5 days. Returning to our everyday lives was going to be awful. Jacob would be going back to work, and I would be starting classes. I decided to take online classes and was able to work while also taking them. We would need to start saving for a wedding so we both needed to be working.
"I'm glad you're having a good time."
"Are you?"
"Of course I am." He smiled. "I love seeing you so happy." I had never felt so happy. It wasn't just the heat. It was him. Because I knew even on the days when it was cold and I felt like winter would never end, he would be there, warming my life. My own personal sun. He would never know how much I truly loved him. I wanted nothing but the best for him. I wanted him to be just as happy as I was. I don't know how I would survive if he wasn't happy.
"So!" Rachel said before I could even respond to him. "Any idea when this wedding is going to happen?" I hadn't really thought about it. I wasn't expecting to get engaged this early into our relationship. We had mentioned marriage a few times but it was something that I figured was going to happen years down the road.
"No." I simply answered. I was in no rush to get married. The only thing we both agreed on was after college. I wanted to have a degree before we did anything. We couldn't even afford to live on our own right now unless we used the money that the Cullen's were sending every month.
I had never planned a wedding before, I had no idea how much a wedding cost but I knew that I was going to keep it as simple as possible. Strictly family and friends only. Not that I had much family anyway. We would probably just do something small down in La Push. I didn't really care so much about the wedding as I do about the marriage. We had some things to work through before we threw ourselves into a marriage.
"We can talk more later about it." She smiled. Rachel of course was going to help me plan. I just had no idea where to start.
"So, are you going to see your sister while you're here?" I asked. So far none of them had said anything about meeting up with Rebecca. I don't really remember much about her. She usually kept to herself when we were younger. I mostly hung out with Rachel and Jacob.
No one responded. Jakes fist tightened on the table and he took a sip from his drink. Rachel just looked at Paul.
"Did I miss something?" I asked.
"Drop it." Jacob said. I leaned back into my chair. I know that he wasn't angry with me. I could tell that he was more angry with his sister. I wouldn't push the subject right now but I needed to know what was going on. Why would she not want to see her dad? I knew that their mom passing was not easy on any of them. Both Rachel and Rebecca took off as soon as they could and left Jacob to care for their dad on his own. You would think that Rebecca would at least want to see them. To see her family that she hasn't seen in years.
I rest my hand over his and gave him a soft kiss on his arm. Even if he wasn't ready to talk about it, I would listen when he was.
*JACOB*
My dad had reached out to Rebecca before we left for our trip. She didn't answer the first time. He reached out again a few days before we left and she finally answered. When he told her that we were coming and he would love to see her, she said she would see. That she might be too busy with work.
I had only seen my father cry a few times in my life. He was the strongest man I knew. Watching him nearly break down at the thought of his daughter not wanting to see him, crushed me. He did his best. It wasn't his fault that our mother died. It wasn't his fault that he had gotten sick.
I wanted to scream and break stuff. I wanted to get off that plane and go to Rebecca and demand to know what her problem was. She didn't stick around long enough to have to go through what I did. I was the one who was taking care of dad. I got a job so that I could help pay bills. I made sure he got to every single doctors appointment. I was the one who phased and went through a total body transformation. For her to say that her life was hard and she needed to escape. I might scream.
I never told Bella. I didn't want her to worry. But now that she was walking next to me down the street, her hand in mine rubbing smoothing circles on my hand, she knew that something wasn't right. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about the fact that my sister was going to avoid all of us at all cost. She would not be invited to our wedding. I did not want her to be apart of anything anymore. Not after she told dad that she had no interest in seeing us.
It didn't just break dad, it broke Rachel. They were also so close growing up. I remember they used to gang up on me. They were two peas in a pod. Twins against the world. I knew that things changed when mom died. I was too young to realize it then. I was grown now. I understood why things happened they way they did. Rachel couldn't understand why Rebecca didn't want to see us. None of us ever did anything wrong. She escaped La Push and she never ever wanted a reminder of it. Of us.
I understood why Rebecca needed to leave. I get it. I probably would have bailed if I got the chance to too. What didn't make sense to me was that she wasn't willing to see us all these years later. I don't hold a grudge against her for getting out and living her life. She was allowed to do that. I hold a grudge because she never called. She never called to see if we needed anything. She never visited. She never called to make sure that any of us were still alive. I don't even think I have her number.
I didn't care that she didn't want to see me. I could handle the rejection. I handled it perfectly fine when she packed her shit and got the fuck out of there as fast as she could. I cared that she didn't want to see dad. Dad deserved more than that.
"She never planned to see any of us." I said to Bella. "Dad called a few days before we came to tell her we were coming. When he asked to see her she pretty much said no." I had no idea how dad held it together. It was probably only for Rachel's sake. Rachel who cried for two days straight.
"She doesn't want to see you?" Bella was shocked. I was too. How could she not want to see us? Even if it was just for a dinner?
"No." I shook my head. "She made it clear." It broke my heart. I would never tell anyone that. I was going to bury it so deep that the wolf inside me could eat it for breakfast. I would never come back here. The only reason we came was because Bella wanted to and I was planning to propose. We almost bailed but Charlie had been so excited about all of us taking a trip that there was no way that I was going to hurt their feelings. So we all got a plane to the one place in the world that we didn't want to go to. I wasn't sure where Rebecca lived, I don't really care to know.
"Jake, I'm so sorry. I thought-"
"I did too. We all thought she would want to see us." I pulled her closer to me. She wrapped both of her arms around my waist. "It's okay." I kissed the top of her head. Even though we both know that it wasn't okay. It was never going to be okay. "I've never seen my dad so heartbroken before." I whispered. "All he wanted was to see her. She pretty much told him to fuck off."
"She said that?"
"No. She said she got out of La Push and didn't want any reminders of why she left." I'm sure got one every single morning when she looked in the mirror. If she still looked like Rachel, then she looked like mom.
Bella didn't respond as I steered her towards the beach so we could look at the stars. Family was complicated. I knew that I would make a family with Bella. That hopefully someday, if she wanted, we would have kids and have a family of our own. I would never abandon them in a time of need. I would never tell them that I didn't want to see them.
"It's okay that she doesn't want to see me. But it kills me that she doesn't want to see dad." I sat down in the sand with Bella between my legs, leaning against my chest. "She's dead to me." I wrapped my arms around her and rest my face in her neck. She didn't need to respond. Just knowing that she was listening meant a lot.
"I'm sorry she broke your heart."
"First girl to ever I guess." I never expected it to me own sister.
"You were always too kind for your own good." Bella responded. "It's my turn to take care of you. We have to heal your inner child." Wasn't even sure if there was an inner child left.