Whatever it Takes 2 – Light of Mine

Author's Notes: Welcome back, you guys! Wow, it's been a while!

So, I've been slowly chipping away at this since finishing Whatever It Takes, and since I've dived back into being a workaholic in the healthcare system in these crazy times, I am unable to dedicate the same amount of time to this fic as I did on the previous story. Unfortunately, this means this fic will take a much longer time to plow through, however, I want to do my best to get these posted when I can.

Despite that, I'm really excited to write this one as I opened up multiple possibilities for a sequel at the end of the last story, leaving a few hints of what to expect in the final chapter. I never initially intended for a sequel when I began writing the first story, but there was too much I wanted to see happen still, and it was far too exciting to ignore the wonderful possibilities. This new story is going to deal without a lot of the repercussions of the events that took place in Whatever it Takes, and also events that happened throughout the Second Wizarding War, along with some new intricate mysteries, action, and angst. My fave! =)

And like the first story, this one will have several complicated, interweaving plotlines because clearly, I don't do simple.

This sequel is going to have a slightly different structure, which I'm admittingly, a little nervous about. Like the first one, I will still be switching POV between mostly Harry and Severus as I quite enjoyed doing that as those two are still the most prominent characters in my fanfic. But it will be different in the sense that I will be stretching it out over a longer timeline, along with several additional POV's to further the plots along, which I'm both excited and nervous to do. Whatever It Takes in-story timeline spanned over a course of only a three-month period of time, whereas this one will stretch over several years. So, there will be a little more of a time jump littered throughout to get the ball rolling. I'm really not sure how long I will actually plan this out for, chapter-wise, but get ready for another long-haul novel-length fic regardless.

(Also, please let me know about chapter sizes as I post them – I wrote some hefty ones on my previous story, and since this one will be covering more time, I have the urge to write larger chapters. But I am honestly happy to re-adjust to what is roughly your standard of acceptable preference because I understand not wanting to trudge through 8-10K word chapters each time)

I am excited to delve back into the minds of Harry and Severus post-war, and the inner struggles they are both facing with what should be a normal life, when in fact, they are still grappling with any sense of normalcy. I want to be able to delve into the new-world problems these characters are dealing with, and not just from the perspective of Harry and Severus (though this sequel will focus more on them, however). I want to elaborate on ambitions and desires and expand on the joy and fears that accompany them. Nothing worse than never being able to let go of the past, and with this pair, it's near impossible. Now, they must learn to lean on each other again, as the only people who truly understand their pasts are each other.

If you haven't already, it is imperative that you first read Whatever It Takes – the original to this story – as it establishes multiple relationships and plot points which is crucial to further understand this story and its elements, along with the important character development I have already established.

Get ready for another wild ride!

Michelle.

Warning: This story will have dark post-war themes, such as character death, mental health decline, self-harm, and addiction. Among others that I do not want to spoil. Like the first story, I will give you a warning at the start of the chapter for the more uncomfortable, significant ones. But this story will have some brutal elements regardless, so apologies in advance.

It won't all be bad, though, I promise!

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. The truth is that time does not heal anything. It merely passes. It is what we do during the passing of time that helps or hinders the healing process."

– Jay Marshall

CHAPTER 1: Remember

January 11th, 2002

[Harry Potter]

"- Harry, wake up – "

There was a gentle prod upon his chest in their bid to snap him back into reality. Harry Potter tossed and turned where he lay, hearing her echoed voice somewhere in the deep crevices of his troubled mind. He was stuck again. The same nightmares which had been bothering him since 1995 on the night Tom Riddle returned at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. The same ones which built up over time, adding yet another horrifying moment in the long list of ones he'd wished he could erase entirely.

At first it began with Cedric Diggory. But with each year since, the list of the fallen grew and soon Harry could do nothing to block out the faces of those he had lost during the Second Wizarding War. They plagued him, even with the Animo Silentium elixir – brewed specifically by Severus Snape – to be utilized. The potion which helped him to calm his scattered and racing mind.

The nightmares were not always consistent, however. Since the War's end, they have been tearing at him every few weeks. Sometimes once a month if Harry was lucky and not under his usual stress. But during the rougher months such as this current one, he had simply had enough of the accompanying mental exhaustion causing him to dissociate throughout his day. Despite its frequency, they never changed. Each one still left him reeling and heartbroken, as if they had just taken place only yesterday. Crystal clear, and yet still so very painful.

But there really was no forgetting the losses and the accompanying grief.

Even now, still.

Eventually, he woke up with a light gasp, feeling his shirt clinging to his skin from the familiar sweat pooling from him as it always did. The gentle hand rubbing Harry's chest relaxed and finally rested over where his racing heart lay, reminding him to breathe and focus. Harry drew in a deep breath in order to ground himself back to the present and reached over to curl his hand over hers – this happened to be the usual routine with the pair of them during his episodes. He remained still, closing his eyes briefly to recompose himself back to reality and quietened his own breathing just to hear the sounds of hers beside him. Once a few precious moments ticked by, he felt a shift beside him, and a head full of unkempt red locks rested in the crook of his shoulder.

Harry finally and blearily opened his tired eyes, observing the concerned hazel ones staring back at him.

"I didn't mean to wake you again, Ginny. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

Ginny leaned back against Harry's chest, keeping her hand rested upon him, "You know I don't sleep until you do. Besides, I have training in a few hours. I would have to be up soon, anyway."

Harry rubbed his tired eyes upon an escaped yawn, glancing out of the rain-pelted window beside them and squinting to notice that it was still very dark outside. "What time is it?"

"Hmm. Just after four."

Harry blinked in surprise with himself, "Blimey. I suppose I did get a few hours in after all."

Ginny chuckled beside him, feeling her warm breath upon him. She playfully poked at his chest, "About bloody time."

There was a short pause between them, giving him enough time to marvel at the hilarity of his wife. At least one of them was light-hearted about it. Giving a little smirk, Harry shrugged lazily, "We can stay home tomorrow, you know. I'm happy to stay in bed with you all day and binge treacle tarts and pumpkin pasties until we feel sick."

Ginny paused in thought, "I had hoped we could do something a little more, well, nicer for our six-month anniversary."

"We can save that until we hit the first-year milestone, " Harry chuckled, slowly entwining his fingers with hers, tenderly running a finger over her silver wedding ring, "For now, let's just relax tomorrow. Six-month celebrations are weird."

Ginny laughed in agreement, "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Don't think my mum doesn't know about it, though. She's been keeping track – Hell, on second thought, maybe we should leave for the day."

Harry rolled slowly to the side and planted a tender kiss on his wife's forehead holding her a little more tightly, "We can do whatever you want tomorrow. I could book for that new restaurant at Hogsmeade Parvati's relatives opened up recently if you fancy. It won't matter…Being with you is enough, Ginny."

Wriggling her nose, Ginny smiled at the kiss, "Now you're making me not want to go to training soon."

"I wish you didn't have to today."

"It's only for a few hours, then I'll be picking up Teddy on the way home, " Ginny reassured.

Harry blinked, confused.

He felt a playful nudge against his shoulder, "Harry! We're looking after him later, remember? Andromeda has some errands to run, and she couldn't do them any other day."

He shook his head, feeling silly for forgetting such an important thing, "Oh…right."

"The sooner you get your assignments done, the sooner you can relax that brain of yours a bit, " Ginny clasped his hand tightly, "You're almost done with it."

Feeling a little defeated, Harry let go of Ginny and sat upright within the bed, stretching out his arms in front of him stiffly, "You try writing six parchments on management strategies for childhood stress in the classroom when I'm not exactly the best example to use."

Following suit, Ginny sat up beside him, folding her slender legs neatly under her, "Actually, you're the best example to use. You spent years escaping Voldemort's hold, and yet you still finished school. Despite all of that stress, you did it, and I've always admired you for that. No one else can say they escaped death and still return to sit in Defence Against the Dark Arts class, of all things."

"…I suppose, " Harry turned to Ginny, hoping to change the subject, "Okay, I'm going to make us some breakfast. Omelettes? May as well start the day a little earlier since I doubt we'll both get any more sleep at this uncivilized hour."

Hearing Ginny chuckling behind him, Harry climbed out of bed with a shiver and threw on a casual oversized moss-green jumper as he clambered downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Their quaint and simple two-story cottage at Godric's Hollow was situated close to the outskirts of the village – close enough to be with other magical folks, but farther enough away to enable their own peace and solitude from the general public. They had moved into their new residence just after they got married and for six months, they relished in their own space and focused on making it as comfortable and magically secure as possible. Harry had enlisted Hermione's help to set up new wards for their own safety to appease their anxiety over it and he still had quite a bit of fanfare and admirers young and old even now. Luckily for Harry, most people were respectful towards him on his journey into the village center most days, but the odd few would approach him and bother him with questions he didn't want to delve into. But despite this, Harry and Ginny were happy with their decision to move to Godric's Hollow, and that also allowed Harry to be closer to where his parents were laid to rest, and the place where he spent the first year of his life before it all went horribly wrong.

The house itself was spacious, yet still homely and cozy. Roaring fires within the fireplace created a cabin-style atmosphere, wafting the abode with the classic scent of burning firewood, and yet the contrast of stone and wood throughout made it unique. The furnishings were simple and provided them with much-needed comfort. Harry himself was a little more simplistic, but Ginny took pride in decorating their space and making it their very own. Their second bedroom was prepared just for little Teddy, so he had his own space and bed when he came to visit.

Teddy himself was spoilt rotten by his Godparents – a large handmade blue wooden toy box filled to the brim with a collection of things, from plush animals, to blocks, puzzles, and even a tiny trainer broomstick courtesy of George who was already determined to make him into a mini-Quidditch player. Teddy's small bed was printed on with glowing stars, which glittered subtly at night like a warm comforting glow. A Golden Snitch night light was stationed beside his bed and a large navy woven rug was spread over the floor ready for the next riveting game of Chase the Niffler – a Wizard variation of the Muggle hide-and-seek, which had Harry racing around the house trying to find a giggling toddler, who would leave a knut on the ground for a trail to be followed. Teddy was usually cunningly cheeky and would leave the knut on the opposite side of the house, misdirecting Harry until muffled uncontrollable laughter could be heard in a hideaway somewhere.

Harry had ensured that Teddy was well looked after and that he had provided the child with everything Harry wished he had at his age. And to him, it felt satisfying to see the wonderous smile on the child's face, and he only hoped that Remus and Tonks were proud of him for giving him his best life possible.

Life had been generally peaceful following the aftermath of the Clearwell Caves mission. A kind of normal life Harry had only dreamed about for years. A family. A permanent home. The career paths both he and Ginny decided to pursue. The dinner dates. The weddings. The birthday milestones. The family gatherings. Sometimes, Harry had to stop and remind himself that it was all real and not just a cruel trick. And most mornings he awoke and felt a rush of joy waking up beside his wife, the woman he deeply loved and reveled in being alive to see her freckled smile welcoming him each time.

Upon going back to picking up the pieces, they gradually began to rebuild their lives as the threat of danger had finally dissipated. Harry and Ginny were still overly cautious these days, but for the most part, life was moving forward. Harry had proposed to Ginny during the previous year after scoring the victorious Quidditch League Cup with the Holyhead Harpies. During the celebration of her team's win, Harry nervously popped the question at the end of the Quidditch match, where Ginny instantly said yes, leaving the both of them elated with bliss and happiness. It was one of the happiest days of Harry's life, and despite some of the lows he had been enduring since the Second War, he would always think back to that moment and how joyful and content that made him feel. For the first time in Harry's life, he felt confident with that decision, and he wouldn't take that back for anything. He didn't want to rush into it and both he and Ginny agreed to wait on their engagement for a while until they were ready. Eventually, they wed during the glorious British summer, in the large tent stationed beside the Burrow, much in a similar fashion to Bill and Fleur's wedding. Thankfully, without it being ambushed by Death Eaters this time.

Arthur and Molly were thrilled to have Harry officially part of their family as their son-in-law.

As much as Harry didn't want too many people at their wedding, he and Ginny agreed to keep it slightly more low-key and invited those that were the most important in their lives. From Dumbledore's Army to the Order of the Phoenix, the Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt, and even some of the Hogwarts faculty who really wanted to be there and participate in such a special day. Harry was surrounded by loved ones and that made him the happiest.

Well, almost.

For a year after the Clearwell Caves, Harry and Severus Snape were communicating by letters every few weeks, checking up on each other and sharing aspects of their day reaching out as best as they could. Harry had begun his studies as a teacher after taking a year off to recuperate after returning to Hogwarts to finish his seventh year and Severus had pursued a job at St. Mungo's as a Senior Potioneer, working mostly from his quaint and solitary abode in the English countryside with some trips to his workplace on occasion. Things had seemed almost better than Harry had imagined, and he was grateful to receive each letter from a man who suddenly became so pivotal to his life.

But those weeks turned into months, and for a time, Harry had not seen or heard from Severus in almost a year. At first, Harry was respectful and allowed him the space that he needed, figuring that the communication was a little too much for him, but the returned letters became vaguer, and sometimes he received no response at all.

Harry had gone to visit him several times and everything seemed fine from what he could tell. But not hearing from him for a while did cause Harry to frequently worry. He had sent him a wedding invitation, which had taken him months to finally respond to. When Severus finally showed up at the wedding, he remained to himself, interacting with only Minerva McGonagall a few times. However, Severus had briefly greeted and congratulated Harry and Ginny, spoke to Harry once that night, remained for a short time to take a few shots of firewhiskey, then quietly departed, hoping no one would notice.

Harry was confused and although he was a little wounded by it, he couldn't help but feel that something else was amiss. He hadn't heard from him at all since the wedding six months ago and Harry felt conflicted. He felt he needed to go and see him but didn't want to intrude and make things unintentionally worse as he had been known to do so in the past. He also couldn't help but think that it was something that he did and was simply unaware of. But the thought of Severus living in recluse and not communicating with anyone else made Harry feel incredibly guilty. He didn't like to bring it up with Ginny since that discussion was never an easy one, but he knew she was more than observant of his frequent anxiety about that situation every time he was mentioned. However, several times Ginny told him to go and visit him, but Harry himself was hesitant.

Perhaps he was scared of what he might discover, or even afraid to understand that it may have been Harry's fault that he didn't try hard enough to continue their communication. Although Harry did try, he felt that maybe it wasn't always enough. Even now, still, he struggled to find the right ways to communicate with him. This was still very new territory for both of them.

Since sharing the same space as him for three months while he looked after Severus during his frightening illness, Harry had actually missed his company. A man he used to hate with so much intensity for so many years, and yet now, he was more of a father to him than anyone else had ever been. Of course, Arthur, Sirius, and even Hagrid had their own part to share, but this one was different. He was different. Harry was grateful for the reconciliation with Severus and was relieved that they were no longer at each other's throats as they used to be. But he respected that he, too, endured his own darker path and Harry wanted nothing more than to support him when no one else was willing to. He hated the idea that after everything they had both endured, Severus still chose to shut himself away again and ignore the world.

But Harry felt he let him down again and that thought plagued his mind every single day since. With every unanswered letter and scattered vague responses, he felt deep aching sorrow for the man. He knew how difficult it would be for him to try and rebuild his life after giving up everything, especially for someone who expected to reach his demise. After Severus' second chance, he knew it was a struggle for him to come to terms with and had far more within his life to rebuild than Harry's himself. But he wished he could have only done more for him, and he was at a loss as to what else to do.

On several occasions, he even approached Minerva about it in concern, but she simply returned an exasperated sigh, and yet a painful sadness within her eyes which Harry immediately understood, told him that she had tried, too. She also had found difficulties in reaching out to him. And yet he would not open up to either of them about what was truly going on.

Sighing to himself in deep thought, he finished turning the vegetable omelettes in the pan and slid them carefully onto the two plates set on the counter. He called for Ginny and the pair of them sat together at the kitchen table discussing Ginny's new training schedule for the next few weeks in preparation for the next game against the Wimbourne Wasps. It was a welcome conversation to get his mind off things, and whilst Ginny was away at training that morning, Harry could focus on completing his assignment and making a start on something for their six-month wedding anniversary tomorrow. She didn't want to make too big of a deal out of it, but Harry had to make some sort of effort, anyhow.

The following few hours flew by, for Harry had been stuck on the last few paragraphs of his essay. The inkpot before him was running low and there were already several small blotches of smudged ink all over his parchment. He had yawned multiple times, dismally feeling the effects of his lack of sleep overnight. His eyes constantly darted to the almost-empty vial of the shimmering pearl-hued Animo Silentium elixir beside him, but he willed himself to endure without it. The potion worked wonders in helping ease Harry's anxiety and attempt to relax his mind. Admittedly, he had been using a little too much of it recently, especially once he realized it was beginning to lose its effects leaving him mentally crashing afterward. It felt like a plummeting sugar high, at times. Considering he was almost done with his assignment; he didn't want to risk that just yet.

As Harry reached over to re-ink his quill, he accidentally knocked over the half-filled goblet of water on the table, spilling the liquid over a few of the finished pages rolled beside him.

"Oh, bollocks!" Frantically, Harry dropped the quill into the inkpot splattering further ink, and hastily gathered the untouched rolls of parchments, throwing them to the other side of the table while he tossed an unused roll of parchment to soak up the water slowly pooling across. Mad with himself, he was able to vanish the pooled water but was unable to save some of the pages which had now bled ink across, merging the words messily together and rendering them unreadable.

He swore loudly under his breath. "I'm such an idiot! …I really don't fancy re-writing all of this..." Dropping his damaged pages on the table, Harry sat back in his chair and eyed the mess he made miserably, as he tried his best to take a moment and re-compose himself. He gave a heavy, defeated sigh.

He was exhausted. The lack of sleep was becoming a problem and the elixir Severus had brewed for him a while ago was not working as efficiently anymore. But it wasn't just his studies that were causing his insomnia. It was the nightmares in which grasped him mighty hard at times, keeping him awake and not allowing his body and mind to rest. The lack of sleep often left him grumpy and irate, and he was losing focus so easily during the day. He was almost at his wit's end, and he didn't want to admit to Ginny that he was still struggling. Half the time he tried to mask it and Ginny was not totally oblivious to it, but it was exhausting trying to pretend that he was completely okay.

Eventually, Harry managed to clean up the mess and decided to take a break instead, not willing to begin rewriting some of the text just yet. But once he felt ready enough and composed himself, he managed to finish his essay barely ten minutes before Ginny and little Teddy bounded through the door. His wife left her broomstick by the door on the rack beside his new edition Firebolt, looking rain-soaked and covered in mud, and watched as little Lupin junior ran to Harry in delight.

"'Awwy!" Teddy ran to Harry and wrapped his little arms around his waist, as his eyes lit up in pure joy.

"Hey, Ted – " Harry smiled warmly at the almost four-year-old, still clutching his owl plushie – A gift from Harry on his second birthday. He watched as Ginny approached him, looking wary and mud-cacked, "How did training go?"

Ginny wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, "Ugh, they had us training for another hour, hence the lateness." Harry leaned in to kiss her on the lips, but Ginny leaned back instead, "No no, I need to shower, I feel gross. Look at the state of the floor, mud everywhere - "

Harry chuckled, reminding him of Molly, "Oh, I don't care." He managed to lean closer again and wrapped his arms around her, rendering her unable to escape. Ginny laughed as he planted a deep kiss on her mud-stained cheek, leaving her feeling amusingly satisfied. He didn't care that his own jacket was slowly being soaked through.

Teddy gave an infectious laugh, as soon as Ginny pecked Harry on the lips, "Okay, enough you. I promised Teddy a hot chocolate when we got home, so if you don't mind making a start, I need to go and wash this grime off me. Oh, and Andy is coming over for dinner when she picks up Ted later this evening."

Harry playfully ruffled Teddy's now pale green locks, "Oh, brilliant. I'm glad – she couldn't make it last time. " He glanced down at Teddy beside him, with a cheeky grin, "Let's go make some hot chocolate, yeah? We have marshmallows!"

"Yeah!" Teddy jumped energetically on the spot and bounded towards the kitchen where Harry took off after him.

Once Harry managed to clean his shirt from the remnants of mud, the pair of them spent the next ten minutes making an entire pot of hot chocolate, allowing Teddy to sneakily eat a few marshmallows before dunking another in his very own little owl-shaped mug. Soon enough, Ginny joined the mischievous pair and the three of them sat at the kitchen table, sipping away at the warm treat on a cold and rainy winter's day until it was time to start cooking dinner. Harry wiped away the chocolate remnants across Teddy's mouth with a cloth, removing all evidence of the cheeky sweets before Andromeda paid them a visit.

Harry and Ginny, with assistance from Teddy who was eager to help, began to prepare their evening meal of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables. Little Teddy was tasked with mashing the steamed potatoes, leaving a slight mess of potato remnants around the kitchen in all his enthusiasm. Godric, Harry's horned owl, spent most of that time irritably avoiding globs of flying mash in his direction.

A short time later, Andromeda had arrived and shivered as she began to remove her ash-grey coat and hung it by the front door. A gust of wind blew through, just as she turned to slam it shut.

"It's absolutely wretched out there!" She shivered again and then turned to Teddy, who came running as soon as he heard the door open. "Hey, sweetheart! Have you been behaving?"

Harry walked behind him, "Always, Andromeda. He was very good and helped us make dinner. Didn't you, Ted?"

Teddy beamed and nodded energetically, "Sure did! Can we make cupcakes, next time?"

Andromeda looked amusingly offended, "Hey, we made cupcakes the other day."

"But…But…they tasted kinda gross, " The child pulled a rather comical, sour expression causing Harry to snort rather loudly.

Andromeda, looking slightly offended, gave a half-shrug, "I can't argue with that. They were really quite horrid, " She leaned in towards Harry with a whisper, "I accidentally used salt instead of sugar."

"Oh, dear, " Ginny tried to stifle a laugh, "And I thought my cooking was problematic."

Andromeda Tonks was tall and slender who towered over Harry and Ginny, however naturally thin. Her wavy, shoulder-length light brunette hair hung in curtains over her pace-face, allowing her dark brown eyes to pierce through them. At times she would shift her hair to one side, highlighting her sharp cheekbones, but there was a calmness to the way she carried herself that her sisters never had. But the most significant difference to that of her sisters was the fact that she smiled. Once her lips curved, her eyes followed suit. Infectious, just like her daughter and her little grandson, Edward Remus Lupin. Or Teddy, as he is lovingly called.

Andromeda was the middle child of Cygnus and Druella Black, sister to Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy, and first cousin to Sirius Black. Upon her wed to a Muggleborn, Andromeda was immediately cast out of the heavily prejudiced Black family in all their spite. She had cut ties with her sisters and never looked back. She heavily resembled her sister Bellatrix with her wide-set jaw and the unnervingly identical stern gaze she also used to adopt. However, Andromeda – or Andy, as she liked to be called by close friends – adopted a far kinder demeanor. Her gaze was filled with far more gentleness than that of her sister and less deranged as the lot of them. She seemed oddly normal considering the wretched family she was born into.

The estranged Black, at times, unnerved Harry in regard to her physical similarities to Bellatrix. There were incidences when Harry would turn and see Bellatrix standing before him, causing his heart to race and his anger to bubble. But these days it was not as bad and Harry was able to see Andromeda as she truly was – A Tonks. It was hard to believe she ever belonged with the Blacks as she was never tainted by their prejudice or the desire to join an anti-Muggle movement as her sisters did so willingly in their own quest for power.

The four of them sat down at the table and began to eat, sharing mundane gossip about the happenings of the wizarding world. Harry advised Andromeda that Ron was tasked by the Auror office to keep tabs on those who were once loyal to Voldemort. Those who defected just as the battle was ending, which by Ministry standards, wasn't completely convincing. So, the Ministry enlisted a group of Aurors to keep an eye on families who were once on the Death Eater radar and investigate any peculiar happenings as a result of that. Any sign of suspicious activity and the Ministry would be notified. It was a new division enlisted by Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt and since the downfall of Voldemort, they had eyes on at least three other families who had either members who were Death Eaters or simply fanatic supporters.

There was a short silence as they all continued to eat, but Harry noticed Andromeda looking slightly uneasy. She caught his observant gaze and she slowly placed down her fork, eventually bitterly swallowing the small mouthful of food.

"I saw my sister today."

For a second, Harry felt his face drain of color, feeling an odd constriction in his throat as his heart began to race. But it took several moments to realize that it was not Bellatrix she was talking about, but Narcissa. The Malfoy matriarch.

At this point, everyone had stopped tinkering away at their cutlery, except for Teddy who was too immersed in attempting to feed his owl plushie and humming to himself as he did so. Blissfully unaware.

"Narcissa?" Harry said, knowing very well that was who she saw. Regardless, he needed the obvious reassurance that it was not her deranged and murderous older sister, whom he knew was still dead.

Andromeda took a small sip from her goblet and nodded looking coldly apprehensive, "Yes. I saw her by mere coincidence at Diagon Alley, near Flourish and Blotts earlier today. She was by herself."

Harry exchanged a hesitant look with Ginny until turning his attention back to Andromeda, "…Did she see you? What happened?"

"Oh yes, she saw me. I think she was as surprised as I was…It's been so long, that I barely recognized her… " Andromeda traced her lips with a finger in deep thought, "She hesitated like she wanted to say something. But instead, she turned and walked away…Honestly, I'm not sure what else I was expecting."

There was a deep sadness in her eyes as she spoke, and Harry knew that she had hoped for more, "At least she didn't go off at you, I suppose."

Andromeda paused for a moment, smiling a little sadly to herself, "I often wonder what she does these days. Lucius is still in Azkaban, and I doubt she has anyone else."

"According to dad, Lucius earned himself another ten years, " Ginny interjected nonchalantly, "He's not getting out anytime soon. Serves him right."

"I wonder - " Andromeda soon stopped herself, " - No. No, it's silly of me."

Harry understood perfectly well what she implied, "You want to see her, don't you?"

Andromeda glanced hopelessly at Harry and appeared to frown at first. But her gaze shifted soon softening in a desperate longing, "I'm really not certain. Perhaps I had always hoped I could. I mean, after the War ended, it was deemed a possibility. My little sister was conned into the Death Eaters by her husband and Bella, and yet after all of that, she was never officially branded one. A part of me always found that rather curious."

"She did help us in the end, there, " Harry nodded in understanding, "But don't feel bad if you still don't feel comfortable. She also did allow many horrible things to happen and supported Tom Riddle by remaining loyal to her husband's twisted ideals. Remember, it was their choice to turn against you, wasn't it?"

"…I suppose. Perhaps I shall send her a letter instead. If she does not want to extend the courtesy of reaching out, then I'll respect that decision and at least I'll know, " Andromeda sighed, looking almost a little ashamed of herself, "I am still angry with her – furious even – but…A small part of me still misses her. I always have deep down, I suppose, and now that Bella is no longer alive to dictate…It's a possibility. That's not wrong of me, is it?"

Harry paused for a moment, hoping his face wasn't projecting the injustice he was feeling deep within. Eventually, he shook his head, "No, it's not. You have the right to make that choice and we won't think of you any less for it."

"If she causes problems, then you'll know, " Ginny added, reassuringly, "And at least then you know that you tried."

Andromeda nodded, gratefully. But something deep within her expression bothered Harry as a sadness behind her eyes was evident, "Bless you both. Thank you for understanding."

It wasn't long afterward until Andromeda departed with Teddy clutched to her hand, while Harry and Ginny cleaned up the kitchen. They discussed Andromeda's wishes to see her sister and both he and Ginny had mixed feelings about it. Harry at least was able to interact with Narcissa at the end of the Second War, when they enlisted Draco to assist on the Clearwell rescue mission. Upon the successful retrieval, Harry was thankful for the assistance of the Malfoy matriarch and even the surprising efforts from Draco himself. Those two at least deserved some credit for not turning against them this time, and finally united upon a mutual cause. However, Andromeda had a far more dismal history with the Black family, her upbringing, and the fractured relationship of the Black sisters. Those which reminded Sirius of his quarrels with the Blacks, too. It seemed the family was darkened in all directions, except for Andromeda and Sirius. Even for Regulus.

But he understood Andromeda's personal need to reach out. After all, Narcissa and Draco were essentially her last blood relatives left, aside from little Teddy Lupin.

And just like Harry and Severus, it is never too late to change.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Later that evening, Harry and Ginny prepared for an early night after a busy day for the both of them.

Harry stared at his exhausted reflection in the large bathroom mirror. The dark patches under his eyes, the almost untameable scruff along his jawline, his tired eyes…He was beginning to thin out further in the face, highlighting a mild gauntness to his cheeks. Most of it was due to him growing into more adult features including his squared jaw further defining. He looked a little older, far beyond what he was. At twenty-one, he knew this was the age his parents had passed.

Was this what his father also looked like? Harry's green eyes had dulled in recent years due to stress and thinking about past events he couldn't ever forget.

He was happy – for the most part. But Harry had to stop himself from wishing for something close to perfection because he knew he wasn't going to get it. He loved Ginny and being married to her. The home their shared. Little Ted ran around their house like their own when they looked after him. Their extended family. Their dinner dates with Ron and Hermione. The family Quidditch outings with the Weasley's. Visiting Hagrid. The additional academic ventures. Life was close to what he had always wanted – a family, surrounded by those who truly loved him. But the nightmares were eating him alive and there were nights he awoke and broke out in sobs once again. Most of the time he felt guilty and horrible for Ginny to have to endure that from him. He did admire her for still remaining by his side, despite the dreaded feeling that she could one day leave him for it. But he was almost at a loss as to what to do, and he felt like this was something he could never truly heal from as much as he tried so hard to deal with, using every magical and non-magical way possible.

How long was he willing to go on like this? Fighting with his own mind was exhausting and it was a battle he knew he couldn't win this time. The best he could do, was to simply endure it.

Reaching for the small vial of the Animo Silentium elixir he frowned in disappointment to realize it was now empty. His mind had been so clouded recently that he didn't remember when he had consumed the last few drops. He must have used it after he finally finished his assignment, but he couldn't remember even that.

Harry heard a light shuffle and jumped out of his skin when he heard Ginny's concerned voice of warning behind him.

"Harry – "

Harry held onto the empty vial, closing his eyes briefly in defeat. He felt Ginny place a reassuring hand on his lower back, causing him to release a breath he almost forgot he held, "What else should I do?"

"It might be wise to stop relying on that elixir so much. Maybe it's making things worse. Have you tried lowering the dose?" Ginny responded, softly.

Harry gave a small sigh of frustration, "Of course, I've tried, Ginny. Do you remember what happened when I stopped it for two weeks? I was very close to ending up at St. Mungo's and I don't want to do that to you again."

There was a short, almost uncomfortable silence before Ginny spoke again, "…You know what I'm going to suggest."

He ran his hands through his messy hair, "I tried that already, didn't I? He just – "

" - Forget the letters, Harry. Just go. In person. It's the only way you'll know for sure."

Harry exhaled, "What if he casts me away again?"

Ginny shrugged casually, staring up into his worried gaze, "What if he doesn't?"

"It's not that simple. You know that, " Harry stammered, "We argued last time I showed up to his."

"Harry, we've been through this before. We haven't seen him much in the last few years. What else were you expecting? He went through quite an ordeal, and you know that more than anyone. If you are so worried, go see him. Blimey, you are still waking up with horrible nightmares and panic attacks, " Ginny moved around to the front of him and wrapped her arms gently around his torso. He could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, as she nestled her head against the crook of his neck, with subtle scent of vanilla tickling his senses. Her touch already gave him some comfort during his worry, and yet she continued. "I wish I could take all that away, but there is nothing I can do. Some mornings, I can't even wake you up in time to bring you back from it. I hate seeing you go through this."

"…I know…" Harry wrapped his arms around her, burying himself within her soft, red locks, "He stopped responding to me, Ginny. We used to talk at least every few weeks, and now…barely anything anymore. I tried. I really did. And I know he did for a while, too."

Ginny then gently pulled away, holding him at arm's length. Her soft hazel eyes bore into his emerald ones with such intensity and resolve, "All the more reason to go see him, yeah? Find out what's going on. You don't have to stick around. Just see if he's…alright. I know you're concerned for him, so stop procrastinating and just get it over with. Don't make me drag you there myself."

"I dunno. Of course, I'm worried for him but bugging him about it may not help matters, either. I don't want it to end in an argument again."

"That's never stopped you before. All the reason to go bug him about it – it's the only way you're going to know. He'll listen to you. Maybe he thinks you've finally given up on him, so maybe he's giving up."

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he paused and he soon felt a sickening feeling rising in the pit of his stomach, "No…No, he can't think that. You really think so, Ginny?"

Ginny gave a worried, half-shrug, "Just an idea. You know very well what he's like. It's his subtle way of telling you 'I told you so' and arguing is his way of getting rid of you, isn't it? Do you want me to go with you?"

The sickening feeling in his stomach worsened, but he vehemently shook his head, "No, it's fine, I'll go…I can handle this. I just need to figure out what's going on. He has trouble confiding in anyone else, aside from McGonagall and I."

"And yet even she can't seem to get through to him, either, " Ginny frowned lightly, "I still can't figure out who is more stubborn, you or him."

Harry ran a hand down his tired face, "I know…I know it's bad. I mean, what do I even say to him? 'Oh, sorry for the half-assed effort, but I've been busy getting married, studying, and babysitting my Godson.'"

Ginny continued, "Along with 'Why didn't you stay long at the wedding?' and 'Why have you been declining all the other invitations we've been sending?'."

Harry stared defeated at his wife after a terrible pause. He knew there was a painful truth to her words, "…I really have failed him, haven't I? I did the one thing I reassured him I wouldn't do. Now I feel like a right git, and I messed it all up."

Ginny lowered her voice and stared into Harry's sullen expression, "You're not responsible for him, Harry. I just want you to know that. Alright?"

"But I kind of feel like I am, in a way. I shouldn't, I know. We went through a lot after Hogwarts. After all that, we ended up drifting away again. And I do blame myself for that, Ginny. I should have tried harder. Now I feel like it's my fault he has isolated himself from everyone. I didn't want that for him."

"Have you considered that, maybe, this is just what he wants? He's never exactly been a people person. Maybe he just simply prefers being alone?" Ginny paused, soon gently lowering her voice, "You'll get to the bottom of this, Harry. If he will listen to anyone, it would be you."

"Maybe I had hoped for too much. It was wonderful for a while when I needed someone a little more adult to talk to, but I was stupid to think that a good thing like that would last. It happened with Sirius, and now it's happened with him, " Harry looked away, feeling crushing hopelessness forming within. The thought alone made him ill.

Ginny's shoulders slumped, "Oh, Harry, no. After losing Sirius, you stopped trusting in people for fear of putting them in danger and that you couldn't rely on any of them. Then everything with Voldemort happened, and Hogwarts, and finding out about Snape…Everything changed after that. Listen, you're worried, I know. Go see him. It's all you can do right now and a worry off your mind."

Harry managed a weak smile, thankful for his wife's honest input, "Thank you, Ginny."

Ginny leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the cheek, "I'll see you in bed, alright? Go get comfy."

Admittedly, Harry was worried. Was it really a good idea to approach Severus again? A part of him needed answers, but the other part of him was simply too anxious to know. He just couldn't let him down again, and he truly hoped that everything was alright.

For both of their sakes.