prologue - ch. 2: i wouldn't mind if i got to make out with rui kamishiro

We kept walking until we reached a round domed building with way too many voices behind its door.

"Maybe he had a tummyache?" a friendly-sounding voice asked as we approached the door.

"I most certainly did not!" Crow-man boomed as he kicked open the door and brought all the attention onto us. All the eyes drilling into me made me slightly nervous, and I was glad that my hood from the robe was still on.

"Ah, speak of the devil," a boy with wine-red hair stated neutrally, although I could feel his gaze drilling into me. I automatically recognized him as Riddle Rosehearts, the house warden of that Alice in Wonderland-themed dorm.

"If you must know, I was searching for the new student who'd failed to show for orientation," Crowley quickly defended himself and turned to address me, "You are the only one who has yet to be assigned a dorm. Step up to the Dark Mirror, and be quick about it. I'll watch your weasel."

"Still not mine," I murmured under my breath, "But okay, whatevers."

Grim simply growled under the whip.

I moved to face the giant ass mirror that was floating over a green fountain. On its surface, it had a black and white masquerade mask.

"State your name," the mirror boomed.

"Well, it first goes like I-CHI-GO and then UT-SU-GI, but when you put them together, what do you get?" I asked teasingly, and slightly more energetic than I was feeling, "It's Ichigo Utsugi!"

The mirror's face didn't change from its apathetic expression, but it continued like I hadn't said anything. Damn, rude ass motherfucker.

"Ichigo…" The mirror started, "The nature of your soul is… unclear to me."

"What did you just say?" Crow-man exclaimed like he was shocked at the revelation. The crowd behind us started murmuring, and I mean, I'm sure he was, but I've seen this shit before, so I don't care.

"I sense no magical power from this one. Soundless. Colorless. Shapeless. Utterly vacant. Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate."

"Kek, that's how my mom felt when she found out it was too late to throw me into an orphanage," I snickered.

A ginger/redheaded boy that had the misfortune of being near me, whom I recognized as Ace Trappola, cupped his hand over his mouth to cover his snickers.

"Are you suggesting that the black carriage went to receive a person who cannot even use magic?" Crow-man continued like I hadn't spoken, "But that is absurd! The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence! How could this have happened?"

"Mmmph! Nnnrgggh…" the demon cat gasped as he got out of his restraints, "ME! Let ME have this student's seat!"

Oh, lol, I forgot about him.

"Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!" Crow-man cried.

"Unlike that human, I can actually use magic! So let me be a student here! Look, I'll show you! My spells're the cat's meow!"

The fucker started to puff up his chest, and I could see flickers of blue light coming from his mouth.

"Everyone, get down!" Rosehearts yelled.

"Myaaahhh!" The squishy fucker growled.

I managed to jump off the platform and land somewhere where the flames hadn't billowed, but not everybody was that lucky.

"AHHHHH! HELP! I'm on fire over here!" An unlucky boy with white hair and red eyes cried. It was fucking Kalim Al-Asim, housewarden of Scarabia, and dumbass cinnamon roll.

I ignored whatever the fuck was happening with the Grimlord and sprinted over to where the dumbass was trying to fucking extinguish the fire on his ass, and yelled, "Hey flameass, fucking drop to the ground!"

He just kept on doing some weird ass dance like it was going to make the fucking fire go out. So, me being the intellectual that I am, fucking body slammed him to the ground so it'd smother the fire.

I mean, it worked, but that was probably the worst option. Oh well.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked concerned while offering a hand to help the boy up.

He got up and cried, "Oh, thank you so much!" He suddenly hugged me tightly, and I gave one back with the same amount of enthusiasm.

"It's no problem," I replied, "But before I let you get to third base with me, can I at least get your name?"

He blushed heavily, but replied, "Oh, it's Kalim Al-Asim, how about you?"

I smiled sweetly, like I hadn't made a dirty joke, and responded, "Well, it's Ichigo Utsugi."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Ichigo!"

"Right back at you, Kalim."

I looked over to where the Grimlord and the other motherfuckers were and decided that I had enough time for my daily challenge show. I slipped my phone out from the waist of my pants and opened up Sekai.

It was time to grind for the New Years 4 star Rui card. At this point, it wasn't a matter of if I would get it, it was a matter of when. I clicked the show button and picked Rui. And of course, for the song of the day, it was going to be Machine Gun Poem Doll on Hard because I cannot play past level 25 on Expert.

I popped in my AirPods because I managed to find them somewhere inside my robes and tapped away to my heart's content, ignoring everyone and everything.

That is until the Grimlord got caught by octo-man and off-brand Jonah Clemence.