Chapter 16

Confessions

The winter holidays had come, and many students were scrambling about the school corridors preparing for their departure. The train was leaving in half an hour and the halls were a mess of crowded, disorderly confusion. Hermione made her way through the mass of students clutching a new book she had just borrowed from the library. She watched as a first year Hufflepuff girl tripped in the crowd and accidentally threw the load she was carrying to the ground. Hermione ran to help her retrieve the scattered items. The girl smiled timidly and ran off. When Hermione straightened up, she saw Draco Malfoy standing directly in front of her with his eyes cold and wearing a nonchalant expression.

"Get out of the way, Granger," he spat menacingly.

"I was here first," Hermione replied bitterly. She tried to read his eyes, but nothing came to her.

"Filth," he muttered as he passed her. Surreptitiously, he slipped a tiny slip of paper into her fist. Hermione continued to fight her way through the crowds and opened the note once she had reached the safety of her empty dormitory. She unfolding the paper and read the small, neat writing.


One hour; you know where

She read the note twice before tossing it into the lit fireplace across the room. The paper caught fire and the ends blackened and curled upward before it turned completely to ash. Hermione collapsed onto the scarlet sheets of her four-poster bed and sighed. She hadn't talked to Draco in days, and now he seemed angry.

"Damn," she muttered quietly to herself. He seemed so cold she thought silently. She didn't know whether to be happy to be seeing him again or desperate that he seemed so angry with her. "He's just too damn moody, damn it!" she said loudly. Lavender, who had just walked in, gave her a funny look,

"Talking to yourself again, Hermione?" she asked with a smile.

"You know me, Lavender," Hermione replied with a small grin, "By the way, who are you dating now?" she asked.

"Andrew Harlington, he's a Ravenclaw seventh year," Lavender said sweetly. Hermione chuckled and continued to stare at the ceiling.

After half an hour's contemplation and Lavender's gentle small talk, she decided that the only way she was going to figure out what was bothering Draco was to go see him. Unlike usual, she felt a burden in her heart at the thought of him and knew it couldn't be good. Reluctantly, she pulled her protesting limbs out of bed and went to the bathroom grabbing a fresh set of clothes on her way.

She took off her shoes and stockings and stood barefoot on the surprisingly warm tile of the bathroom floor as she undid her school robes and removed her sweater. She placed them neatly on the floor then she loosened her tie, unbuttoned her blouse and unfastened her skirt. After she moved the pile aside, she stood there in front of the mirror almost naked and examined herself.

A pale face with warm brown eyes and rosy lips stared back at her. She looked closer and saw deep purple circles under her eyes. Too tired to do something about them, Hermione splashed warm water on her face and over her bare arms. She reached for her clean set of clothes and put on a pair of warm, black trousers and a soft crimson jumper with long sleeves and a deep v-neck. She gathered her other clothing and walked out of the bathroom to place them on the trunk at the foot of her bed. She put on a pair of black boots and left to meet with Draco.

Hermione walked through the halls and slowly made her way to the room. The corridors were now empty; even Peeves could not be found disturbing the peace. It's lunch-time, she realized, but she wasn't hungry. Her shoes clanked loudly on the floor and her breathing became brief and ragged. After walking down many sets of stairs and being challenged to a duel by Sir Cadagon, she found herself looking at the door. I loomed before her ominously like a curtain to the unknown. Sirius passed through a curtain that lead to his death, what will this lead me to? she asked silently, but slapped herself mentally for saying something so stupid. She stood there for many moments looking for some kind of an answer, but none came, and she opened the door.

It swung open without a creak and Hermione saw Draco standing facing the wall opposite her. His arms were folded across his chest and his head was bowed. She didn't know if he had heard her or not so she walked inside and closed the door loudly behind her. He still didn't turn.

"I assume you're staying for the holidays then?" she said quietly. He still wouldn't acknowledge her, "I'm expecting to get a nice set of dress robes from my parents." Still, he didn't speak, so she continued talking to no one in particular, "I bought a book for a Harry and a new broom kit for Ron. I really hope he likes it— "

"I didn't come here to talk about presents, Hermione," he interrupted.

"Then say something, Draco, please," she answered.

"We can't do this anymore; it's too dangerous," he said.

"Do-do what?" she asked, her voice quivering. He turned to face her. His hair was messy and his dark clothes were wrinkled. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but pain.

"We can't be together like this. My father told me I could stay at Hogwarts for Christmas on one condition: that I keep away from any mudbloods that might interfere with the Dark Lord's plans. The way he spoke led me to believe that he new about us, and I won't let them hurt you for being involved with me." He paused and ran his right hand through his hair. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and Hermione saw the Dark Mark taunting her from his wrist. She was silent, urging him to continue. He did. "I brought you hear to tell you that this was it. We can't see each other anymore in private. It isn't worth either of us getting killed."

Hermione took one shaky breath, and another willing her heart to steady itself after his dreadful words. But the pounding continued, threatening to escape her chest. She felt it in her throat and in her cheeks. Her entire body felt hot and she knew her face was blushed. Her eyes began to water and one salty tear fell down her cheek; though, she couldn't figure out why she felt this way. She knew that whatever they had was doomed, but she never cared about that whenever he had touched her. Draco wasn't looking at her anymore; his eyes were staring at the ground and his arms were back across his chest.

"You tell me this now?" she started angrily, "you knew we couldn't do this all along, yet you continued to draw me in. Why didn't you tell me this earlier before—"

"Before what?"

"Before I started caring about you! You did this to me! You gave me this feeling in my heart, you send my nerves on fire every time you touch me. You make me feel that I can't live without you."

"You think I did this!" he yelled loudly. He was looking at her now. His hands were balled in fists at his sides and his eyes were bright and furious, "It was you Hermione Granger that enchanted me with your wicked spell. It's you!" he pointed a long, pale finger at her, "with your big eyes and your bushy hair that makes me think about you every minute of every damn day! You make me kiss you, you make me hold you, and even you make me–you make me love you," he finished.

"What did you say," she whispered after a few seconds of silence. His eyes widened as he came to realization over what he just said.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

"That wasn't nothing, Draco. You said you loved me; now stop lying and tell me the truth!"

"Hermione stop, I told you we can't do this," he said urgently.

"Well I don't care!" she yelled, "You said you loved me; now tell me, do you really love me?"

"It will only makes things hard."

"Things are already hard enough without us denying our feelings for each other."

"Fine!" he screamed. He rushed forward suddenly and grabbed her forearms firmly, "I'll tell, I'll tell you a million times that I love you! Are you happy now? But what I feel for you is dangerous. You wake up something in me that I've never felt before, and I'm scared. I'm scared to bloody death of this. It makes my bones quiver in a way not even ten Voldemorts could."

"Then why do you want me to leave?" she asked him. More hot tears were spilling from her eyes. She could feel the heat emanating from Draco he was so close to her now. His breath was warm and musky on her face.

"I don't! But you must, for the sake of both our lives."

Hermione could feel her arms bruising under his grasp but she didn't care. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her blood was boiling in her veins. "We'll die anyway, don't you understand?" she asked him quietly, "Without you, I will die. I'll die if I can't see your face or kiss your lips, Draco. My heart will burst in agony without you, and I'll be alone forever."

He spoke, "If I allow you to stay with me, you will die at the hand of Death Eaters. And they will make me watch as you are tortured and raped and beaten!"

"Better to die together than deny our hearts' desires and die miserable. That is a guaranteed fate. But you do not know what will happened in the future with us; you cannot See. We may not die that way if we stay strong in each other."

"But we can't do that."

"Then tell me what we can do!" she screamed into his face. Her cheeks were wet, as were his, but as he held her, she saw something break in his eyes. She watched as he let all the shields go, and she watched as he pulled her to him and kissed her forcefully with enough passion to make her explode.

She moved her lips against his as she felt the pressure of his mouth and tasted the saltiness of both their tears. She broke apart his lips with her tongue and welcomed him into her even more. He never released her arms from his grasp but continued to squeeze harder with his nails into her flesh through the thick material of the sweater. Hermione's knees gave way, and she wrapped her arms around Draco's neck to keep from falling. His arms made their way around her waist so he could pull her body even closer to mold against his.

He retreated from her lips momentarily to say, "Hermione, we have to decide now. Are we going to stop now and forget all this, or stay with each other?"

"What do you want?" Hermione asked in a whisper. He looked at her and she could see the love he had been denying pouring out of his eyes.

"I want nothing more than to have you here by my side for the rest of my life," he said honestly. Hermione brought his head down and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Right answer," she muttered before kissing kiss lips again.

Christmas morning, Draco woke shivering in the cold dungeons. He rose quickly out of bed and put on a black sweater and a pair of khaki corduroys. The rest of the Slytherin sixth year boys were still asleep, and snores could be heard clearly from curtained beds. There was a small fire burning in the hearth to the right of his bed, but it did little to warm the chilled room.

Still shivering, Draco saw a large pile of presents at the foot of his bed. The first few were from his parents–a large sack of galleons and a thick black journal encrusted with the Malfoy family seal. Among his other gifts were more galleons, a large box of Honeydukes candy, and deep green cashmere turtleneck from an expensive shop in Diagon Alley. He sorted through the pile of wrappings and came upon a small, yet heavy black box with silver ribbon wrapped around it. He opened the box carefully and took out an object wrapped in many layers of tissue. He tore the tissue away and was left with a miniature dragon statue in his palm.

The dragon was pure silver and had emerald colored jewels for eyes. Draco touched the spine with his free hand and felt every detail marked under his touch. The skin even felt warm. He looked closer and saw that the scales also reflected green in the light. He was startled as the figure unexpectedly came alive. The dragon flapped its wide, silver wings, roared, and opened its mouth as a pillar of fire flew from its throat. Draco barely got his head out of the way before his eyebrows were burnt off.

He set the figure on the stand next to his bed and picked up the box the dragon had come in. There was a card at the bottom, but it had no name on it. Instead, there were three simple words:


I Love You

Draco smiled as he realized who the dragon was from. He tossed his other presents lazily onto his bed and left to go to breakfast as the beast on the night stand breathed another column of flames.