My country, one of the last strongholds of Rurouni Kenshin, is now taking out Samurai X. RK is actually one of the things that put a now-popular UHF channel on the map in my country. It probably won't be back for a while, on any channel. I will still keep praying for an animated Jinchuu arc, in the meantime.
Hi, and thanks for coming back. Thanks for the comments, you make the story better. Sorry this chapter took a while. First, I got busy. Second, what I typed for a while were contents for future chapters, not this one. On with the story.
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Snippets of words reached the redhaired man, as Saitou Hajime droned on. The heat was getting to him again. While in his stuffy office, Saitou talked of organizations, arrests, opium. Kenshin's body was sitting in front of his desk. His brain wandered here and there, now and then. The insatiable need to doze off came again, but the nightmarish thoughts were also returning.
Saitou noticed that the wanderer gave him a constant and blank gaze. He stopped. "Are you actually listening to me, Himura?"
Kenshin blinked a few times, and looked at the officer in confusion. "I am sorry, Saitou," he scratched his head. "What was that again?"
"We have reports of a new drug circulating in Tokyo," Saitou sighed and explained. "Something illegal organizations are letting out, to compensate for their losses from all the opium crackdowns. What do you know?"
"A new illegal substance?" Kenshin repeated, thought for a while, then shook his head. "No new reports in town. What are the signs of addiction?"
"We are not sure; the doctors do not even know about this thing yet."
Kenshin nodded. "I will keep in touch with you if I learn anything."
But how would he know anything about the town? Over the past few days, he just went through the motions of living. He could not keep track of himself; how could he possibly keep track of new developments in the town?
He figured he would just take the medicine for two evenings in a row, just two. That first evening, he wanted to know what it could do. The second evening, he wanted to make sure if it could do it again. But the third night, convinced of the drug's effects, even if concerned of its effects on Kaoru, it just seemed natural to take it.
So the days turned into a full week. An experiment quickly turned into a habit.
The past and the present mixed into one confusing mess. Reality was confused with history.
He was no longer sure. A few minutes ago, he was walking with Kaoru to the market. But Kaoru had just disappeared. The market was no longer there. He was now standing in the middle of a large field. The smell of blood and death filled his nose.
The sound of hundreds of hooves surrounded the young man. The smoke of war rose to the sky around men who would rise no more. The stench of death wafted over the young man who stood alone in the midst. In his right hand, he held a sword soaked in blood.
He looked down at the dead. His eyes fell on one of them, lying peacefully at his feet. He had a battle-worn face, but one that seemed friendly in life. His short dark hair was smoothed and tied back. At the middle of the man's medium-built body, the blood from a sword thrust stained his light blue outfit.
Then he realized. He knew this young man.
One of his playmates when he was very small, at one of those villages. Hideki. They ran after fireflies together.
He knew his friend from days past had joined the Shinsengumi. He discovered that during one of his assassination missions. He still had that winning smile from his childhood, and an easy way with everyone he met. He remembered that Hideki once told him he would someday be a soldier for real. The young front-line killer did not know what to feel when he saw him at the enemy camp, and recognized him.
Horses galloped toward him, several sturdy ones. "What are you standing there for, Himura?" a rider yelled to him. "We won! We won!"
The victory did not sink into his consciousness. He had just killed a friend.
"Hideki.........." He dropped the sword. "Why did it have to be you?"
"Himura! We have to go! Himura!" the soldiers called after him. But he could not move from where he stood, just in front of the body of his old friend.
More horses galloped closer to him. Their hooves were coming closer with every second. It sounded as if the horses were ready to run him over.
"KENSHIN!"
Someone grabbed his arm and yanked him backward.
"Are you out of your mind?! Do you want to get killed?"
From a few meters away came the sound of a neighing horse, the screech of wheels and the high-pitched angry voice of a carriage driver. "Bak'yarou! Drunk so early in the day!"
"Snap out of it, Kenshin!" a female voice hissed at his ear. "What's happening to you?"
It was only then that he saw the irritated driver waving a fist at him. He sat at the head of a rather ornate black carriage, and alternately calmed his horses and flung curses at Kenshin. A small crowd of market-goers had surrounded the carriage, Kenshin, and Kaoru.
Kenshin quietly, calmly approached the driver. He gave him a low bow and a long apology.
"Just watch where you're going next time, you little redhead!" the driver finally said, tugged at the reins and left the scene.
Kenshin returned to Kaoru and gave him a sad smile. "Thank you." Then he began to slowly walk home.
Kaoru did not know what Kenshin himself felt, but she had noticed changes in him. It had been a week since those little white pills were last discussed, a week since she held his hand on a summer night. But during that week, she noticed that he lost his happy smile and his effortless laugh. He always seemed lost in his thoughts now, even more than before. She no longer heard him pace the floor at night, but he would be rather absent-minded during the day. She knew, within herself, that he still took those little white pills. But she could not ask him about it, or confront him.
On his part, he still could not talk to her about it.
He thought he slept well now, free from the nightmares that haunted him. But he felt more tired during the day. He caught himself nodding off several times, worse than before. He was no longer sure about many little events now. He raked the yard in the afternoon, but Kaoru would tell him that he already did it that morning. Once Kaoru complained that he had put too much salt in the soup, when he did not remember he had put it in.
The efficacy of the drug was wearing out on him. Yesterday, even if he took the medication, he woke up in the middle of the night, panting and sweating. He had to take it again. The result of the double dose was the little scene at the market. And Kenshin was not sure if that little scene had really happened.
Yahiko had noticed as well. The boy's best sparring partner was not as good practice as he used to be. There were even times when Yahiko managed to hit Kenshin easily. It was getting rather boring to fight him.
"You're thinking about that old hag too much, Kenshin!" he teased.
Kenshin protested with a loud "Oro!", but he knew it was true.
"So propose already! You know she'll say yes, don't you?"
The voices that rung in his head shouted again. She won't have you! She will never be truly yours!
"What if she does not, Yahiko?" he whispered to himself. What if she does not say yes?
"Himura-san!" the doctor yelled from the gate.
Kenshin acknowledged him with a bow.
"I do have to remind you about the payment for those sleeping pills you took," he smirked. "It's been a week!"
"I apologize, sensei," Kenshin said. "I think I was not told how much they were?"
The doctor gave him a sum. It was equivalent to Kaoru's total monthly wages.
Poor Kenshin would have to work at several odd jobs in the next few days if he wanted to pay it. Nonetheless, the redhaired man bowed and promised to pay in a week.
Yahiko stared at Kenshin. "Those things cost THAT MUCH?!"
"It was supposed to last for a year," Kenshin explained vaguely.
But when he checked his little bottle, he knew it would not last a year.
He looked well at the bottle, and was surprised to see it running out, after just two weeks. With the medicine costing so much, he should not have used so many, so fast. He would not have money for another bottle. Besides, Kaoru was worrying too much about him as it was. He had to stop, he knew it. He had to learn to live with the nightmares. Better that, than to get himself into more trouble.
But not right now.........not just yet.
He begged the stores in the market to let him fix the roof, clean the stalls, wash the dishes – anything just to get money. Most of the stores obliged, since he had helped them time and again with street thugs, robbers, and such. But after several days of working in one store, he would be fired. He was too slow, too clumsy, too absent-minded.
"You're not usually like this, Himura-san!" More than one shopowner had commented. "Are you sick or something? Anything I can do?"
Kenshin would just wave them off, say he was alright, he apologizes for any trouble he had caused, it would not happen again.
But it happened again, in all of the places he worked for. All of them sadly let him go.
"I hate to do this to you, Himura-san," the last shopkeeper said. "But you are making too many mistakes. You are slowing us down. I have to let you go."
"Please, sir!" he begged. "I need the money!"
"I am really sorry, Himura-san," the man bowed. "Come back when you are feeling a lot better, and I will see what I can do for you."
He sighed, took the final wages, and left.
He felt so hopeless, useless, and tired. He promised to find another odd job tomorrow. But tonight, he would just go to bed. He felt so tired, he might actually be able to sleep without taking any of the white pills.
He did try to sleep normally. But by now he was so used to the sedation, he could not sleep without them, try as he might.
He fumbled around his room. The bottle was not there. He must have left it in the kitchen, he figured, so he went there with uneven steps.
Kaoru was there when he reached the kitchen. She was frowning and serious. She held the almost-empty bottle in her hand.
"Please, Kaoru-dono, give it back," he pleaded.
Kaoru folded her arms, and shook her head.
"You do not understand, Kaoru-dono. I need them!" There was a flare in his eye that warned of coming danger.
"Listen to yourself talk!" Kaoru answered with anger. "You're no longer the Kenshin I know! The one I know doesn't need things like this to keep going!"
"Do not make me hurt you, Kaoru-dono!"
"As if Himura Kenshin would dare!"
"HAND THEM OVER!"
"NO!"
He pushed her to the floor with unusually heavy force, and made her drop the bottle. He quickly retrieved it as it rolled away. He then gave her an unnatural look of triumph as he walked away.
But as soon as he reached his room, it struck, what he had done to Kaoru. He pushed her violently to the floor, and forced her to release the bottle. Since when were the pills more important to him that Kaoru herself? She was bound to be very disappointed in him. Furthermore, violence to her would be sufficient reason for her to kick him out of the dojo.
She will never be truly yours, Kenshin! Never!
The voices screamed loudly in his ear. If he did not stop them, they would scream and scream all that night and all the next day.
He had to escape.
He knew that if he took only one, he would still have the nightmares and the voices sometime in the evening. And two were no longer enough to keep him asleep the whole night. He opened the bottle, and took out three pills.
The first one acted quickly. He was already rather drowsy as he took in the second. His eyes had already shut when he remembered there was a third one yet to take.
But in the midst of the fog brought on by the chemicals, a different voice sounded. No, Kenshin. Not the third. She still needs you.
Tomoe............you understand...............tell her! Tell Kaoru for me! I have to do this!
If you take the last one, Kenshin, you will be forced to leave her. And you will never come back to her. Do you want that?
So what's wrong with coming to you?
Do not come to me, leaving obligations on earth, dear Kenshin.
The two pills had taken their full effect. Tomoe disappeared in the overwhelming darkness that descended. He fell back into his futon, the last pill still in his hand.
.......................
Kaoru could not stand for several minutes after she was pushed to the floor. It was not the force of the impact. As a kendo practitioner, she was used to it. It was the fact that Himura Kenshin had used it on her. A woman. A woman he loved – or at least she hoped so. Did he not love her?
She decided to get up and apologize to him. She did not mean to be so rough. She just wanted him to stop taking them. She did not want Kenshin to stay like this. She wanted her Kenshin back. She would tell that to him, she decided as she marched to his room.
But when she got to the room, she found him already asleep. Drug-induced, she figured. The bottle was beside him, almost empty now.
Almost empty? Already? She stared at the two little pills that remained in the clear glass bottle. The last time she looked, when she first took the bottle from him, there were five pills left. Now, there were only two. He took in three?! At once?!
"Spit them out, baka!" She screamed at him as she shook him hard. "Why do you want to die so badly?! Spit them out! Now!"
His eyes fluttered open slowly. He raised his closed right hand. He opened it, and showed her a pill. "The third," he mumbled. "Didn't swallow it. Almost did." Then his eyes closed again, and he went limp.
She lowered him back onto the futon, as tears flowed down her cheeks. "Kenshin, you fool! You stupid fool!" She held his hand beside her teary cheek.
...............................
Thanks to Chiki I already know the right spelling for "Baka yarou!", which roughly translates into "You idiot!" Gackt is responsible for me knowing that expletive so well. He said it way too many times in Moon Child. I loved that movie! I even made a website for it with a friend of mine. It's at http:moonchild.deep-river.net (make necessary changes). Hideki came from the Hideki in Chobits. Very nice guy, if a bit clueless.
I apologize if things run a little fast in this chapter. For one, I don't really intend for this thing to be long. For another, I don't want things to get boring.
Firuze Khanume – Wow! Thanks for reading! I hope I've explained about the doctor. Thanks for pointing it out.
Chiki – Yes, you can die from an overdose. Many die when sleeping pills are taken with alcohol. I write to de-stress, in a way. If I don't project my thoughts into something else, I might go crazy.
JML – I know what you mean, he won't take the easy way out. But thanks for pointing it out. Things will work out in the end.
Brittanie Love – Thanks a lot!
Junyortrakr – Thanks for reading. Yeah, I guess you figure right.
So that's it for now. I hope you'd be nice and place me in your Author Alerts, since I have no solid idea when I'll be releasing another chapter. At least you'll know when I do have an update. I do promise to finish this, I just don't know when. See you around!