Chapter Ten: Aftermath
She was alone when she woke up. She didn't like that feeling.
Darius had let her keep her sword belt this time, learning from that first time, when she had attacked the three siblings in defense. She placed her palms on a dresser, letting it support her weight, taking a deep breath.
-No time for weakness. You can't afford to be weak now- She swallowed the sorrow that was starting and began to pack. She filled the pouches on her belt with sufficient supplies and healing items. Everything else she could steal or improvise.
She walked out of the house, ducking through the streets without anyone pointing out the fact that she had attacked that boy. It was easy for her. She was an original type, and attracted attention easily because of her looks and aura, but she had the ability to walk casually and yet make the commoners not look at her twice.
Kristoff and Darius were talking in the field where Michael's passing had took place. The grass and rocks there were dark, as if cast in shadow. She wasn't surprised. She made her way over to them in tipsy steps.
They stood up when they saw her. "Rose."
"Hello." She said evenly and looked at Kristoff. "I'm sorry. You're right. It was my fault. As a Dragon hunter I shouldn't have lied to you. It cost your sister her life. My apologies mean nothing to you but I say them anyway. I only hope that your pain will lessen someday."
Not expecting that at all, Kristoff's well-planned tirade fizzled out on his tongue and all he could do was snort and turn his head aside.
Rose predicted nothing less than that. "Darius." She said to him.
He looked at her with a tortured look in his eyes. "You have to leave now?"
She flinched away from his gaze. It was not betrayal, but with sadness and longing that evaded all of her walls and made her feel disconcerted. "Yes. I endanger everyone if I stay. There are more Dragons to hunt."
He walked in close and embraced her tightly. She hugged him back, tentatively, and it was she that pulled away first, to face Kristoff again. He wouldn't look at her when she spoke. "Is there anything that I can do before? As a compensation or…?" –redemption, for your forgiveness?- she wanted to say, but she couldn't ask for forgiveness. It was too much, too great a gift to waste on her.
"Yes." He spoke icily. "Get the hell out of here before I kill you." He meant it.
She bowed her head. –He has good reason to hate me- she thought to herself, and yet she could not block the feeling of disappointment and hurt that she felt. Just for once, she wanted to feel accepted, completely, for what she was.
Darius held out his hand again and she shook it, surprised to feel the coolness of a piece of paper in her palm. "Read it when you leave". He whispered to her. Nodding to him, she slipped the note up her sleeve and turned to leave, having everything that she needed.
It made her feel strange, to leave them—Darius in particular—just like that. As if they were business partners that had spoken for ten minutes and then left. But it wasn't like that. She had told Darius her secret and he had made her laugh. And now she left so coldly. It made her feel wrong, but at the same time, she knew it was the right thing to do.
She was far out of their sight before she opened up the piece of paper. On it was Darius's scrawled handwriting, written hastily. He had most likely scribbled it while she was speaking to Darius, or maybe he had anticipated it and had written it while she was still unconscious.
Rose, you didn't think for a second that I would let you leave just like that, did you? I'm not saying goodbye as if we were strangers. As soon as you read this, go to the clearing where the villagers were waiting while we took care of the 'Dragon hunting'. Wait for me. I want to say goodbye the right way. Signed, Darius.
Switching directions almost automatically, she headed into the forest.
o
He was sitting on a log when she arrived and he stood up when he saw her.
"You're overly dramatic, you know." She snapped at him, waving the note in his face before putting it back up her sleeve.
"I wrote it while you were still asleep. I knew you were going to leave like that, and I didn't want you to leave before we could say goodbye."
"We said goodbye." Rose told him coldly. If she showed any warmth at all she would melt. A cold ice maiden with nothing to show. That was what she was now. Michael had taken away more than the special mind-link they shared. He had taken away her laughter, her tears, and her display of emotions. He had taken away her dependence and her fragility. All that he left her was power and guilt and sadness. And a coldness that made the snowfields of Mille Seseau seem like a volcano.
"Not the right way. The Human way."
"I'm not human anymore."
"You're not anything else either. You're Rose." Darius smiled and walked over to her. "Do you really have to go?"
"Yes. I wasn't lying. I endanger everyone around me. Just look at Kata. And Michael." She bit out the words. "Is everything taken care of?"
"Yes. I've told the villagers that you were a Dragon hunter and then that you were… unbalanced. The boy, Yaryl, tends to believe the latter. Kristoff thinks that you're both a Dragon hunter and psychologically unbalanced. The people of Ceplao think that you're a madwoman. So everything is taken care of. There is no suspicion of the fact that you are the only remaining Dragoon or that you are the Black Monster."
"So now there is only you."
"Yes. Only me." Darius stared at her for a long time. "Are you going to kill me now?"
She touched the hilt of her sword for a second, lightly, and then shook her head. "No. I trust that you'll keep it a secret. I am correct?"
He smiled. "Always." He paused. "Smile. Let me see your smile."
She shook her head. "I don't know what that is anymore."
"Michael took away a lot from you."
"My very sanity." She laughed bitterly. That she could still do, bitterness. Darius ran his hand along her face, seeing the hollowness in her eyes, the suffering in the way she tried to hold her lips in a thin line.
"May I kiss you goodbye?"
His request seemed alien to her, but she nodded.
It was awkward, watching him move toward her. But his kiss was sweet and strangely funny, like he was. Tasting like jasmine tea and sorrow, feeling like raindrops falling gently on pond water. She found herself responding with the last of her emotions, using them up before she would have to be alone. She curled her fingers in his hair and an incredible sadness filled her.
He broke the kiss and leaned his cheek against hers. "Black Monster." He whispered. "Angel of Darkness."
She pulled away then, and he stared at her woefully. "Will I ever see you again?"
She paused, thinking of Charle Frahma and her spells of agelessness. Her fingers grasped her choker. Charle owed her. –I could visit him from time to time. After the killing every 108 years, maybe just for the companionship. Kristoff would never find out… and I would have something to keep me human-
-No. It would make him less human to stay with you, as well as in danger. You must stay away. He deserves a mortal life.- She took a deep breath, shuddering. "No. We won't ever see each other again."
His breath caught in his throat and he seemed to gasp or choke. She hated that look in his eyes, so terrible. "Rose, I—I want you to know—"
She stopped him by placing her hand on his cheek. "I know." She said gently. "I know. But it will all be in vain. The pain will go away, for your life will fade. But not mine." She kissed him again, the last gift she could give him, and then turned and left.
Now she would have to be forever alone. She had her own darkness barrier now, one that would never fall.
o
Author's Note: I'm finished with it. I thought the ending was…different, but befitting. I wanted to make Rose stay with Darius, but it didn't fit her personality, and I wanted to put some angst into the story. If any of you have any suggestions, please leave them in the reviews. I'd really like to know your opinion about how the story ended, so I know what to do in future stories. And if you couldn't figure out what Darius was going to say before Rose cut him off, it was "I love you."