Back of the Bottom Drawer
This story takes place in the future a few years after college graduation and is an A/U. While some aspects of the show are portrayed, much of the story is different. Brooke did date Lucas. She did deal with the pregnancy scare but later on… not until they were in college. However she did not tell Lucas any of this. They did break up but got back together during their senior year of high school and have been together ever since, despite attending different colleges. In this story Brooke is more the "Haley" type. She is more the laid-back, quiet, serious type- the one who keeps more to herself and is not so outgoing. Hopefully you'll understand and everything will fall into place.
As of right now this stands as a one-parter. However, I do have a few other ideas I'm toying around with. If anything becomes of them, there's a good chance you'll see a sequel or additional parts to this! iReplies help when it comes to inspiring me!!!/i
2012
"What else is left Cheery?" I hear him yell from the hallway. We're trying to unpack the rest of our belongings. Despite my parents' wishes, our recent engagement encouraged us to finally move in together. In the months since we became engaged we spent a lot of time looking over houses and finally settled on one that seemed to fit our dreams.
"Uh… I'm just unpacking my dresser and I think I'll be done for tonight. I'm getting kind of hungry." I holler back. "Can you try and find the pots and pans so I can start some dinner?" Lucas packed up the dresser the other day while I was at work so that he could get it loaded into the moving van. I quickly pluck what appears to be the last jewelry box from the bottom drawer and place it carefully on top of the dresser. Taking one last peek into the drawer I notice something I hadn't paid any attention to over the past few months- something that I'm not even sure how I could have forgotten about.
Taking a deep breath I pull the box out of the bottom drawer, pulling the lid off of it ever so carefully and begin sifting though the contents. The feel of his hand upon my back startles me and I jump slightly. "What's all this?" His voice asks quietly.
That's when it dawns on me. I've got all this stuff, the stuff that played the biggest role in my life hidden right here in my bottom drawer and I've never even discussed any of it with the man who in just a few weeks is going to be my husband. I know its wrong to keep stuff like this from him, but at the same time, it's so important to me I don't want him to know about it…
In the back of the bottom drawer
Of the dresser by our bed
Is a box of odds and ends
That I have always kept
But the man who sleeps beside me
Doesn't know it's even there
Little pieces of my past
That I shouldn't have to share
I glance up at him nervously, knowing that I need to share my life with him. I wonder how he's going to handle this stuff though…
"Little things… pieces of my past." I answer quietly, standing as he pulls me back towards the bed and settling the two of us down on it. Most of what is in the box is a reminder of our lives together- me and Lucas. I hand him the first piece, gazing at him nervously, unsure of how he's going to react to it.
The first thing I think of
When I think of you,
Is your wonderful smile.
The second would be your adorable laugh.
I could go on and on,
But the list would never end.
When I think of the short time
That we've been together
And of all of the happy memories we've already shared
It amazes me to no end
And I know that we were meant to be together.
I look at you and see overflowing love, hope, and joy
As well as charm, strength, happiness and dignity.
With all of these wonderful qualities
It's no wonder I love you so.
A napkin that is stained with time
Has a poem on it that didn't quite rhyme
But it made me cry
"You kept this?" He sounds shocked. "All those years?" I nod, not quite sure of how to react to his own reactions. He wrote this poem for me when we first started dating in our sophomore year. Even though he went behind my back with my best friend, I just couldn't face getting rid of the poem. It was the most honest, sincere thing anyone had ever said to me before.
He folds it back up placing it back into the tattered blue envelope, worn from the years of wear and tear. This box is what helped me get through the miserable nights at college that we spent apart from one another. Putting the envelope aside he reaches for the next.
Dear Brooke,
I have to tell you that I can't go on this way.
I am sure that you will hate me after you hear what I have to say, but I honestly believe we are truly making each other miserable. A relationship is give and take; it can't be just one way Brooke. I only wish that you could have seen that you are not always right.
I'm sorry to have to end things this way, but I don't know what else to do. I'm honestly miserable.
Felix
And a Dear Jane letter from a different guy
He broke up with me and told me
I'm not always right
He looks at me curiously as if to ask why didn't I ever hear about this before now? He wants to know why I've kept something like this over the years and I can't blame him. If he had something like that, I'd want to get some answers too.
"I had to keep it Luke. It was what made me realize that I couldn't blame you alone for what happened with Peyton. It was as much my fault as it was yours. I was trying too hard to make you understand me. You were trying to get me to try new things that until then I hadn't been accepting of. It scared the hell out of me and that's why I pushed you away." I lean my head down onto his shoulder, savoring the feel of his hand on the small of my back. "Felix made me realize that I shouldn't have all this anger built up towards you and Peyton. He made me see that what happened between you and Peyton was partially my fault." Without another word, he folds up the "Dear Jane" letter and places it next to his own poem, ready to dig deeper into my past.
I watch as a grin appears on his face and know immediately what he's come across. New Year's Eve, 2006.
"Hey mom? I'm going to head over to Peyton's. She's having a party tonight." I tell her, the telephone receiver perched on my shoulder as I throw the last of my overnight clothes into the small suitcase. "I'm probably just going to stay over there for the night."
"Okay sweetie. Have a great time." Mom never questioned anything I said. I was responsible, trust-worthy. I smile as I hang up the phone, the same time he leans down planting a gentle kiss on my lips. This is going to be the best New Year's Eve ever.
We skipped Peyton's party. That much wasn't a lie. There was a party. Luke and I never made it there. Instead we hit up a small hotel just outside of Tree Hill, ready to ring in the New Year together.
And a stolen key from on old hotel room door
In the back of the bottom drawer
He continues rifling through the box, pulling out random objects. When his eyes fall upon one in particular, I gasp, completely taken aback by what he's come across. I see his eyebrows rise at what he's come across and slowly his eyes rise up to meet my own. The tears begin falling before I even realize what's happening. For a minute I think he's going to get mad- that he's going to be upset. He's calm and collected though. That's Luke. "What's this Brooke?" He stammers, trying to get out what's on his mind. "When?" He whispers.
"Freshmen year of college. After Spring Break." I stutter, looking away from him the whole time, not wanting to see the reaction on his face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He acts hurt and I can't blame him. "How could you even go through that alone?"
I cry quietly and he pulls me into his arms. I know that he's there for me and that's the biggest relief of all. 90 of guys his age would get pissed- would run off- would jump for joy at not having to become a father so young… Not Luke. "I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. "God Luke, I was eighteen, you were only nineteen."
"Brooke…" He tries to quiet me down, but to no avail.
"What was I supposed to do Luke? Call you up on the phone half way across the country and tell you I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive?"
"Brooke, sweetie. I'm not mad at you. I just wish I had known. I could have been there for you, even if it was only to talk. Hell, I probably would have flown half way across the country to be with you- to sit at the doctor's with you at least." I smile up at him, finally coming to the realization that he's not actually mad, but rather that he was actually that concerned about me dealing with a pregnancy scare on my own.
He lays the positive pregnancy test aside, taking me into his arms and embracing me tightly. "I'm always gonna love you Cheery, no matter what." He kisses me lightly on the top of my head and brushes away my tears before turning back to the remaining contents of the box.
"Can I ask you something then sweets?" He asks lightly, quickly diverted away from the box. I know where he's going with this and its fine with me. We've never really had this conversation before and quite honestly I'm kind of looking forward to it. I look into his eyes, showing him that I'm ready for anything. "Were you scared or excited?"
I chuckle at his comment. What eighteen year old would admit to being excited about the prospect of being pregnant. "I was terrified Luke. I tried to ignore the thought at first- ignore the feelings I had about being pregnant. But as the days went on, I kind of grew used to the idea. And then, to find out it was a false positive, it was kind of a let down, even though I knew that at the time being it was for the best."
He raises his eyebrows at me. "So you wanna have kids with me then?"
I punch him lightly on the arm. "You did not just ask me that! Of course I do! But can we get married first? I don't want to do the whole barefoot and pregnant thing at a wedding." Now that the mood has lightened significantly after dropping the whole pregnancy bomb on him so suddenly, he's ready to keep sifting through the box, wanting to check out what other important pieces I've saved.
I don't keep these things
'Cause I'm longin' to go back
I keep them because I wanna stay right where I'm at
I'm reminded of my rights and wrongs
I don't wanna mess this up
But I wouldn't know where I belong
Without this box of stuff
He pulls another envelope from the box, gently pulling the card out. Peeking at the front cover I don't think he realizes that it's from him. Inside reads: Happy Birthday Cheery! I Love You! Luke
Whether he realizes it or not, he was my first real boyfriend. Sure I'd had little crushes here and there and went out on dates with some boys during middle school and the start of high school. But he was my first boyfriend. He took me out for dinner that night, a little candle-light dinner at a restaurant downtown.
That was the first night we made love. It happened at the embankment overlooking the ocean in a car Dan had given him after the heart attack. Ever since then we've both only been the only one for each other. The pressure that Haley and Peyton talked about wasn't there. Luke was never like that. He still isn't. Things just come naturally for us; there is no pressure at all.
A birthday card from my first boyfriend
He signed it I love you so I gave in
Yea we went too far in his daddy's car
He pulls out the string of beads from the box next. The metallic magenta colored beads mean so much to the both of us. He reaches over, placing them around my neck as if he's trying to bring back that night- that night that two months later I inevitably thought had changed our lives forever.
We went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans for spring break in 2008. It was amazing- just Lucas and I. His mom thought he was staying on campus, finishing up a basketball tournament and that he couldn't make it home for spring break. My parents thought I was out visiting Lucas instead of returning home.
Even though we were under-age we went to some bar in the middle of town. We danced the night away, laughing and just loving the time we were spending together. Things got carried away that night like they had so many times before. But this time it was different. I knew we shouldn't be having unprotected sex. I had only weeks before started taking the Pill. The doctor warned us when we went to the clinic to get it. That night meant a lot to both of us, leaving behind incredible memories of our first ever vacation together.
And those mardi gras beads from '98
We danced all night stayed out so late
We thought we were stars
Closin' down the bars
He picks up the next reminder of my past. The cork. One cork that just five months ago changed the course of our lives for eternity. He holds the cork between his thumb and his pointer, gazing down at it and then back up to me. I don't think that it entirely dawns on him… the significance of that cork. "What's the story behind this?" He asks quietly, waiting for me to explain.
I hear the doorbell sound and make my way quickly down the stairs to beat my father to the door. He means well, but I think sometimes he overwhelms my boyfriend. I pull open the door, glad that I've gotten there before anyone else.
I smile shyly at him and take in his appearance. The white button down shirt, sleeves rolled up do something to his muscular figure that I just can't explain. "Hey Mr. Davis. Mrs. Davis." He yells into my parents who are eating their own dinner in the other room. They exchange their pleasantries then we head off for the evening.
"Where are we headed Broody?" I smile up at him as we hold hands, making our way down the sidewalk towards his car.
"You'll see. And I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." He opens the car door for me, shutting it quickly after I get in.
We ordered our dinner at the fanciest Italian restaurants in town and I have to wonder what, if anything we're celebrating. I excuse myself to the ladies room and by the time I return, the Champaign he ordered us is waiting at the table. He pops the cork out as I reach for my napkin to place it back in my lap when it jumps out at me… the small black velvet jewelry container is just there, waiting. He looks up at me, his eyes sparkling blue behind the candlelight that surrounds us.
That's how we reached this point in our lives. Lucas proposed to me that night at the restaurant. We planned the wedding quickly, not wanting to wait. We've waited long enough as it is.
That Champaign was cheap
But still I got that cork
In the back of the bottom drawer
I let out a sigh. A sigh of relief or despair I'm not quite sure. A part of me is relieved, knowing that Lucas knows about all of this. The other part of me silently wishes I had been able to keep it to myself for a while longer, not wanting to give up the few special memories I had.
I know I've done the right thing- letting him in on this. I guess now he can be a part of it. He can join in and add to the memory box that rests in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I also know that the hardships I've dealt with thus far are now behind me and that I have used the experiences and lessons I've learned to better our relationship today.
I'm not tryin' to hide these things
From the man I love today
But I'm a better woman for him
Thanks to my yesterdays
I look up at my fiancé knowing that what has taken place over the last half hour has strengthened our relationship to a point that I didn't even know was possible. He now knows about my most intimate secret. But most of all, he doesn't look down upon me for any of it. I reach into the pocket of my jeans and pull out our spare key to the house. This is what we need. One last thing to close off this part of our lives. I hand it to him, motioning for him to dispense of it into the memory box. I want to tell him to hurry up- to drop the key into the box so we can move on and get dinner started. But looking up at him, I remember the most important thing of all. It's not just about me. It's about us now. Us and our the start of our lives as a family.
So now I try to give more than I take
And I bite my tongue fight the urge to say
It's my way or no way at all
And now I cherish love a whole lot more
'Cause of what's in the back of the bottom drawer