Harry met Luna the next night in McGonagall's room at exactly seven
o'clock. He saw her standing at McGonagall's desk with a cloth bag, looking
more alert than she usually did.
"Good. You're here." She looked at him a moment. "You were too embarrassed to tell your friends that you were getting help, otherwise I know they'd be here. Ron and Hermione need work nearly as much as you and even though Ginny's really good at Occlumency she'd be more than glad to help. You didn't tell them."
"No, I didn't," he said, sounding lame, pathetic, and defensive even to his own ears.
"Sit. Front desk there." She upended the bag and out poured quills, ink, a sheet of parchment, and a photograph of a phoenix.
"What's all this for? What am I supposed to write?"
"Anything. Just say, 'Begin'."
"Begin?" Harry asked, he didn't have time to say anything else because immediately the quill came to life in his hands and he began to write. And write. And write. He couldn't stop himself.
"Finite incantem," Luna said lazily after about 5 minutes.
Immediately, Harry stopped writing and Luna picked up his parchment. She began to murmur the first few lines of what he'd written. Harry listen carefully because he didn't know what he'd written, only that he had to write; the quill hadn't given him a choice in the matter. "This is stupid. What's she planning? Why do I have to write this? This is so stupid I'm glad I didn't tell the others. I'm wasting my time. Voldemort is out there. People's lives are in danger. I wish I knew what the Order was up to. I wish I could talk to Sirius but I'll never see him again." She trailed off and looked Harry in the eyes.
Her unwavering gaze held him until she took her wand from behind her ear and pointed it at the parchment and said, "Niveus." The parchment went blank. "Not bad for a first attempt. Again."
"Why?"
"What part of 'again' don't you understand?" Her eyes were like daggers.
Harry held the quill and said, "Begin." He began to write uncontrollably again. This time Luna hardly glanced at the parchment before wiping it blank again with her wand and telling him to begin again.
After the fifth time, she declared she was satisfied (but she didn't even read it). "Stand. I'm going to try to break into your mind. You will defend yourself. Hopefully after twenty-five minutes of writing everything you thought, your mind will be clear enough to withstand me. One. . . Two. . . Three. . . Legilimens!"
Harry managed to keep her out for a second, but then memories of his flooded in. He saw Sirius die. He saw Dudley's fists flying at him while he stood helpless as Piers Polkiss held his arms behind his back. He saw Cedric lying in the cemetery. He saw Snape vanish potions of his. The memories reeled through his mind. He thought, "No.don't.I don't want her to see me like this. Being beaten up. Don't want anyone to see me weak. Stupefy!"
The mind connection was broken, but Luna was still on her feet, not stunned. "Not bad. Not good, but not bad. You were able to fight with just your mind for a second but then your concentration broke and you let me in. Took you a while to get me out. You've got to have an empty mind. Don't think."
"I can't just not think! I'm always thinking."
She was quiet for a minute and said suddenly, "Quick. What's your favorite color?"
"Red."
"Favorite animal?"
"Snake."
"Favorite teacher?"
"Lupin."
"Least favorite teacher?"
"Delano."
"Who do you hate the most right now?"
"You."
"What do you fear?"
"Being weak."
"What's your favorite sport?"
"Quiditch."
"Now, think, did any of those answers surprise you?"
Harry blinked. "Just about all of them. I just answered-"
"Without thinking," she concluded for him. "See? I told you it was possible. If you would have been given time to think you might have said Snape was your least favorite teacher and you hate Voldemort most. But at the moment when I asked the questions your thoughts went to the teacher who puts you through your Occlumency lessons and can hardly look at you without crying. And you might have said you hated Voldemort most."
Harry blushed. Had he really said he hated her? She was strange, and his hand still hurt from so much writing and he certainly hated having his mind broken into but she was trying to help. She wasn't a bad person.
"You've got to learn to focus. Focus."
"I can't. There's just too much going on in the world. And then there's the Pr-" There was no need for her to know about that.
"I know about the Prophecy, Harry. Did you forget I went to the Department of Mysteries with you last year? True I don't know everything about the Prophecy or what it said but you wrote some of your worries about it on the parchment during your forced-write."
"How did you get me to write like that?"
"This quill. It's my own invention. A free-write is when someone just sits down and writes whatever comes into their head, this is like a free- write but you didn't have a choice in the matter. There's a connection between your mind and your hand and the quill. The spell in the quill causes your hand to print out the words of whatever you're thinking. It's rather difficult to explain."
"You developed this?"
"Yes."
"Ginny was right about how smart you are."
"I think that's a compliment. Thank you." She was quiet a moment, then she shouted, "Legilimens!"
Harry didn't let her into his mind for a good three seconds. He even thought he saw Luna standing next to a man with dishwater blonde hair, wearing black and crying, but then his own memories came reeling at him again but not for long. Luna broke the mind connection.
She sighed. "I was hoping that by catching you off guard you wouldn't be thinking."
"It seemed to help a little."
"But not enough. You have to be able to defend yourself better than that. I've got one other method to try but if you want to continue we'll save that for next week. It's getting too late now."
"Okay. What's the other method?"
"See this picture?" She held up the photo of the phoenix. "I think, if you concentrate on it long enough that you know it by heart, and you can summon up the image in your mind's eye when someone is trying to use Legilimency on you, you should be able to fend them off."
"That sounds good. Thanks, Luna. Same time next week?"
"If you want."
"Thanks."
Harry helped her put her things away and then he went back to Gryffindor Tower.
Ron approached Harry went he got back to the common room. "Where you been? We were supposed to work on our Divination homework."
"I'm sorry, Ron. I forgot."
"Where were you?" he asked.
Harry saw that Ginny was just a few paces away, listening. "I was in McGonagall's room getting tutored. I've been having trouble in class." This wasn't exactly a lie, he was getting tutored in McGonagall's room, but it was Occlumency instead of Transfiguration.
"You seemed to be doing fine to me. Why not just ask Hermione for help?"
"Because I didn't want to bother her. Besides I needed a lot of help; I still need help." He saw Ginny roll her eyes and stalk off like an angry cat.
"You'd probably be better off asking Hermione for help."
"Could you not tell her about me being tutored? She might have her feelings kind of hurt that I didn't go to her." That was true too.
"Alright. If you say so." Ron shrugged. "Now will you please help me think of more ways to die? Otherwise I'll never finish my divination assignment."
"Good. You're here." She looked at him a moment. "You were too embarrassed to tell your friends that you were getting help, otherwise I know they'd be here. Ron and Hermione need work nearly as much as you and even though Ginny's really good at Occlumency she'd be more than glad to help. You didn't tell them."
"No, I didn't," he said, sounding lame, pathetic, and defensive even to his own ears.
"Sit. Front desk there." She upended the bag and out poured quills, ink, a sheet of parchment, and a photograph of a phoenix.
"What's all this for? What am I supposed to write?"
"Anything. Just say, 'Begin'."
"Begin?" Harry asked, he didn't have time to say anything else because immediately the quill came to life in his hands and he began to write. And write. And write. He couldn't stop himself.
"Finite incantem," Luna said lazily after about 5 minutes.
Immediately, Harry stopped writing and Luna picked up his parchment. She began to murmur the first few lines of what he'd written. Harry listen carefully because he didn't know what he'd written, only that he had to write; the quill hadn't given him a choice in the matter. "This is stupid. What's she planning? Why do I have to write this? This is so stupid I'm glad I didn't tell the others. I'm wasting my time. Voldemort is out there. People's lives are in danger. I wish I knew what the Order was up to. I wish I could talk to Sirius but I'll never see him again." She trailed off and looked Harry in the eyes.
Her unwavering gaze held him until she took her wand from behind her ear and pointed it at the parchment and said, "Niveus." The parchment went blank. "Not bad for a first attempt. Again."
"Why?"
"What part of 'again' don't you understand?" Her eyes were like daggers.
Harry held the quill and said, "Begin." He began to write uncontrollably again. This time Luna hardly glanced at the parchment before wiping it blank again with her wand and telling him to begin again.
After the fifth time, she declared she was satisfied (but she didn't even read it). "Stand. I'm going to try to break into your mind. You will defend yourself. Hopefully after twenty-five minutes of writing everything you thought, your mind will be clear enough to withstand me. One. . . Two. . . Three. . . Legilimens!"
Harry managed to keep her out for a second, but then memories of his flooded in. He saw Sirius die. He saw Dudley's fists flying at him while he stood helpless as Piers Polkiss held his arms behind his back. He saw Cedric lying in the cemetery. He saw Snape vanish potions of his. The memories reeled through his mind. He thought, "No.don't.I don't want her to see me like this. Being beaten up. Don't want anyone to see me weak. Stupefy!"
The mind connection was broken, but Luna was still on her feet, not stunned. "Not bad. Not good, but not bad. You were able to fight with just your mind for a second but then your concentration broke and you let me in. Took you a while to get me out. You've got to have an empty mind. Don't think."
"I can't just not think! I'm always thinking."
She was quiet for a minute and said suddenly, "Quick. What's your favorite color?"
"Red."
"Favorite animal?"
"Snake."
"Favorite teacher?"
"Lupin."
"Least favorite teacher?"
"Delano."
"Who do you hate the most right now?"
"You."
"What do you fear?"
"Being weak."
"What's your favorite sport?"
"Quiditch."
"Now, think, did any of those answers surprise you?"
Harry blinked. "Just about all of them. I just answered-"
"Without thinking," she concluded for him. "See? I told you it was possible. If you would have been given time to think you might have said Snape was your least favorite teacher and you hate Voldemort most. But at the moment when I asked the questions your thoughts went to the teacher who puts you through your Occlumency lessons and can hardly look at you without crying. And you might have said you hated Voldemort most."
Harry blushed. Had he really said he hated her? She was strange, and his hand still hurt from so much writing and he certainly hated having his mind broken into but she was trying to help. She wasn't a bad person.
"You've got to learn to focus. Focus."
"I can't. There's just too much going on in the world. And then there's the Pr-" There was no need for her to know about that.
"I know about the Prophecy, Harry. Did you forget I went to the Department of Mysteries with you last year? True I don't know everything about the Prophecy or what it said but you wrote some of your worries about it on the parchment during your forced-write."
"How did you get me to write like that?"
"This quill. It's my own invention. A free-write is when someone just sits down and writes whatever comes into their head, this is like a free- write but you didn't have a choice in the matter. There's a connection between your mind and your hand and the quill. The spell in the quill causes your hand to print out the words of whatever you're thinking. It's rather difficult to explain."
"You developed this?"
"Yes."
"Ginny was right about how smart you are."
"I think that's a compliment. Thank you." She was quiet a moment, then she shouted, "Legilimens!"
Harry didn't let her into his mind for a good three seconds. He even thought he saw Luna standing next to a man with dishwater blonde hair, wearing black and crying, but then his own memories came reeling at him again but not for long. Luna broke the mind connection.
She sighed. "I was hoping that by catching you off guard you wouldn't be thinking."
"It seemed to help a little."
"But not enough. You have to be able to defend yourself better than that. I've got one other method to try but if you want to continue we'll save that for next week. It's getting too late now."
"Okay. What's the other method?"
"See this picture?" She held up the photo of the phoenix. "I think, if you concentrate on it long enough that you know it by heart, and you can summon up the image in your mind's eye when someone is trying to use Legilimency on you, you should be able to fend them off."
"That sounds good. Thanks, Luna. Same time next week?"
"If you want."
"Thanks."
Harry helped her put her things away and then he went back to Gryffindor Tower.
Ron approached Harry went he got back to the common room. "Where you been? We were supposed to work on our Divination homework."
"I'm sorry, Ron. I forgot."
"Where were you?" he asked.
Harry saw that Ginny was just a few paces away, listening. "I was in McGonagall's room getting tutored. I've been having trouble in class." This wasn't exactly a lie, he was getting tutored in McGonagall's room, but it was Occlumency instead of Transfiguration.
"You seemed to be doing fine to me. Why not just ask Hermione for help?"
"Because I didn't want to bother her. Besides I needed a lot of help; I still need help." He saw Ginny roll her eyes and stalk off like an angry cat.
"You'd probably be better off asking Hermione for help."
"Could you not tell her about me being tutored? She might have her feelings kind of hurt that I didn't go to her." That was true too.
"Alright. If you say so." Ron shrugged. "Now will you please help me think of more ways to die? Otherwise I'll never finish my divination assignment."