Hi, and thank you for reading. I realized too late that I have left out Tae and Tsubame in this little story. I am really sorry for this oversight. Again, sorry for the long interval. November was a crazy month for me, many parts of this story continued to have holes for a long time. Finally completed on a rainy day with no classes. I hope you like it.
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You only have to ask.
Those words replaced the ones that tormented him for weeks. Indeed, he was sure that she loved him back. When he heard that out of her, his heart skipped two beats. He knew it from before, but it was only now that she said it, out loud, for him to hear. But the thoughts immediately pierced his brain. She would be crazy to marry him! He had nothing to offer! Women expected things out of men, did they not? And yet, the woman wanted him to propose, she was almost begging for it! She was short of doing the proposing herself! It should not be this way!
What then was holding him back?
"Kenshin! The soup is boiling over! Kenshin!"
There were ways to fix things, surely. He would eventually find a permanent job in Tokyo, now that disturbances were over and he was properly settled. Kaoru would still probably want to keep up the Kamiya dojo, and that would be alright. But she should not be principal breadwinner, he would make sure of it………..once he got brave enough to……..
"KENSHIN! The SOUP!"
A figure dashed over and moved the soup pot away from the fire, then shook him hard. "Wake up, Kenshin!"
As it was, he already lived like the housekeeper of this pretty young woman. As it was, they already lived like husband and wife out of forced circumstance. He only had to make it official, yes? But why won't the words come out of him? Why won't any solid plans appear?
SLAP!
"Himura Kenshin! I will insist on you not sleeping while standing, and definitely not while fixing dinner!"
Only then did he become aware of burnt soup, a painful cheek, and Kaoru's furious face.
"Really! If you're not feeling well yet, you should let me do the cooking," she waved a finger at him. "What you're doing is dangerous, especially to you!"
Yes, indeed. What she was asking him to do, to ask, was dangerous, especially to him.
"Kenshin!"
"Yes, Kaoru-dono," he bowed absent-mindedly.
"Well?"
"Sorry," he muttered as he walked out of the kitchen.
"Baka yarou…….." she muttered to herself as she salvaged what she could of the soup.
She hated him being like this. Not him, him, just him being like this. Unaware of himself, lost in his own world. She had seen it several times in the year she had known him, and it had never grown easier to see.
While indeed she was his master when chores were involved, she needed him for support. She had full control over the running of the household, but he kept her grounded and level-headed. When he was around, she did not panic so much, and she did not worry so much. When he was present, she no longer felt alone in the world.
She felt the loneliest during the last few months, when she could see him, but knew he was not there.
Still, she was glad that the worst was over. Something else was bothering him, something that made him absent-minded and careless. She could only pray that it was not another former enemy, a shadow from his past. He could not move on if fragments of the past kept coming back to torment him.
It was not the past that tormented him now. It was the future. The future that lay in his hands.
His constant thinking made him forget about dinner entirely. He must have been staring blankly at the window, for he thought he heard Yahiko yell out to Kaoru, "I think he's asleep!" and Kaoru shouting back, "Leave him there and come get your dinner."
He barely heard Kaoru and Yahiko arguing about the boy's trip to the woods with friends in town.
"Kenshin would let me, you old hag!" the boy said.
"You don't have Kenshin to ask now; I'm the one you're talking to, and I'm saying you won't go!"
"And if he says I can go, will that settle it?"
"Sure!" she shouted back. "If you can get anything out of that sleepyhead, then fine!"
His screen door was pulled open 10 seconds later.
"Talk to me, Kenshin. I know you've been spacey, but you're still Kenshin."
He was startled. The boy still trusted him?
"I know you heard us. Well? Do I get to go?"
This boy and his master. They believed in him too much, more than he believed in himself. He nodded. "Just one week, Yahiko. Kaoru-dono does need you around the house, so just one week. I will do your chores for only that long."
The boy's face lighted up. "Sure thing, Kenshin!" He went running, the suddenly ran back to Kenshin's bedroom. "Hey, don't do anything drastic to Kaoru while I'm gone, alright?" he grinned.
"Oro! What are you talking about?" his cheeks warmed.
"Drastic, like moving to Kyoto," the boy's eyes sparkled. "While I'm gone, you have my permission to marry the old hag, and to do your thing."
"YAHIKO!"
"You two lovebirds be good, okay?" and he ran off.
"Yahiko, you brat!" Kenshin called out in mock irritation, but his cheeks were still warm.
…………………………………………
It was another market day for most people. For Kenshin, it was special. He had not bought the groceries for at least a whole month; even he still could not believe it had already been that long. It was wonderful to be back on the street, mingling with people, and enjoying his present life. All the usual sights, sounds, and smells were present. Fish and vegetables were called out from all sides. Fresh bread and new soup filled the air with delicious scents. Busy mothers and easygoing youngsters moved past him.
From a few meters away, a traveling medicine peddler was shouting his wares and entertaining potential buyers. He was making the usual incredible claims of curative properties and relief from ailments. A lot of customers were going away with a small brown parcel.
Just then, the medicine peddler saw him, and stared at him. Then he waved at Kenshin. "Hey, I know you!" the man greeted with odd cheerfulness.
Kenshin could not remember where he had met him, and stayed his ground.
The peddler approached him and slipped a parcel into his hand. "It's yours free. And there's more where that came from. Just look for me. I know you need 'em."
He looked down at the small brown parcel, then back at the peddler. "I cannot receive this. I do not know you," Kenshin said with straight face.
"Oh, don't worry about that. You'll always get more than you need."
He memorized the man's face and clothes, bowed politely, and left him.
When he got home, he immediately opened the strange parcel.
It was as he feared. A new bottle of the sleeping pills.
By now he was able to think clearly enough to know that he was being bribed. Or, the organization supplying the drug wanted to keep him dazed enough to stay quiet. His rational self knew that, and it said it would not fall for a simple trick.
However, he was still craving for them. He took the bottle, and hid it in his yukata.
He went to his room, sat on the floor, and took out the bottle. It was exactly the same in size and packaging. But maybe the content was not? What if he made sure first, and took one? Maybe he would do that, he decided. He opened the bottle, and let out one tablet. It still looked the way it did before, so it was probably the same. He would take one, and see for himself.
But every time he decided to do it, he saw Kaoru. When he looked outside his window, there she was, pruning the hedges. He waited an hour, opened the bottle and took out a pill, but he saw her peep in and wave at him. Either she just passed on the way to the kitchen, or she intentionally wanted to say hello. He decided to try again after another hour, when she quite suddenly charged into the room, armed with a broom. "Did you see a mouse pass by here?" she asked without looking at him, without seeing the pill in his hand. He dropped the tablet onto the floor and apologized about not seeing anything. She left just as quickly, as he sighed.
The sight of her was enough to stop him. After everything she had done, he did not want to fail her.
So it was for a few more hours. A long and furious battle was fought in his brain. He wanted it, but he also wanted to keep promises. He wanted to forget, but he remembered. He paced the floor, he talked to himself, he pounded the wall.
If it were any other woman he had to deal with, it would have been much, MUCH easier. He would just take it, and he would probably not have regretted it. But not this particular woman. She exuded a force that should not be contradicted. A vision of her whacking his head with a bokutou, followed by a long string of angry words, haunted him. It was complete with a red face and steam coming out of her head. A funny vision, indeed, and he chuckled at it, but it stopped him when any other reason did not.
She was very strong. And yet, she believed in him completely. He did not want to face the strength of her wrath. He did not want to ruin the strength of her faith.
The hour finally came, the next day, when she saw the bottle of little pills herself. She found him staring at the bottle, debating in his head whether or not to open it. He kept looking at it so intently, he did not know that she had approached, and taken the bottle from his hand. It was still full, but the mere sight of it……….he saw in her face what went through her mind. Terror, fear, disappointment, and anger. One after another, and combined.
"Have you used them?" she asked.
He shook his head. She sighed with relief.
"Where did you get this?"
"Medicine peddler," he answered. "Yes, I know. Tell Saitou as soon as you can. I will give you the specifics----"
"That's not the point, Kenshin!" Kaoru waved the bottled before her. "I thought you wanted to stop. What is THIS thing doing here?"
He gave her a sad smile. "I am not sure."
"Explain."
"I still remember how great it felt, to feel nothing."
She raised an eyebrow. "I know I've heard that stuff from you before, but I still think it's weird." She placed her hands on her waist. "WHAT makes you so scared, that you want to keep taking these?"
"I already told you," he whispered.
She turned red then white then red again. She chuckled nervously, and made a bad imitation of Saitou. "You take things too seriously, Himura!" She resumed her regular voice but maintained the nervous military bearing. "THAT's nothing to lose sleep over! Do you understand, Himura?"
"Yes, Kaoru-dono" he muttered.
She held on to the bottle tightly, and assumed the face of stern landlady. "There's still a huge pile of laundry waiting to be washed. After that, the floors need to be cleaned. Go on. You've been doing nothing for so long, that's why you've been thinking such crazy things. I'll check if you have the floors clean by 5 o'clock. "
"Yes, Kaoru-dono," he answered with a grateful smile.
Now that the bottle was with her, he could only do what she wanted, and just sigh about the bottle. It was in safer hands now. He took out the soap and washtub.
When Kaoru returned from teaching and errands, the Kamiya dojo looked incredibly neat. Not only were the floors polished and the laundry washed, the whole yard was swept, and the water pots in the kitchen were all full. On most days, the four chores were divided into two days. Just the sweeping usually took an hour on a clear day. In order to complete the chores, he exhausted himself for a whole afternoon.
She found him opening a book, leaned on the wall of his room.
"Did you just do all………..all that?" she made a sweeping gesture at the porch and the yard.
He looked up at her, and nodded with a grin.
"You didn't have to!" she exclaimed. "But, thanks a lot."
"You are welcome," he answered.
"I'll have dinner ready in a few minutes, alright?" she said, and went to the kitchen.
She returned to call him after a few minutes. She found him sound asleep, the book dropped to the wooden floor.
She suddenly panicked. It was too quick. He must have found where she hid the bottle and taken a pill. She did not want to go over the terrible ritual again. If something could still be done, she would do it.
"Kenshin! KENSHIN!" she began to shake him as she shouted. "What have you done? Kenshin!"
But he opened his eyes, and answered her. "Is it morning already, Kaoru-dono?" Then he yawned.
He woke up quickly. He did not take the pills. He was fine. She was happily surprised, and could not stop the tears from falling. "You………you're alright……….you're alright."
"Just tired, that is all," he smiled at her.
"Dinner?" she asked as she brushed off the tears.
"A little soup will be fine," he said.
Dinner was a very quiet event, with Yahiko away. Only three sentences were passed between them.
"Thank you, truly, for doing the chores."
He bowed and acknowledged.
A long silence as both ate.
"Thank you for caring about me."
She blushed and looked at the table. "No problem."
She told him to go on to bed, and cleared the dishes herself. She later came to his room, and placed a blanket over him. "Kenshin no baka. Pleasant dreams."
And they were.
She had thanked him for something simple. Her thanks were just what he needed. Assurance that what he did was all that he actually needed to do, to please her. She rescued him from himself. If only for that, he would serve her gladly, forever.
His plans were complete. His mind was set. Nothing more held him back.
He would now ask, for something only she could give.
…………………………………………
Kaoru was rushing about the next morning. She spoke rapidly about a large kendo class while she fished around for a few pickled vegetables and rice. She gave him vague instructions to buy groceries, and sped off.
In her haste, the little bottle of pills rolled on to the floor, as she grabbed her clothes bag and ran out of the kitchen.
He stooped down, and took the bottle.
The haunting words threatened again. She will never be truly yours. You are deceiving yourself. She will never be truly yours.
But he also remembered the sight of her terrified face last night, while she shook him awake. He remembered how she blushed when he thanked her. And he remembered the extra warmth out of herself, as she tucked him in.
The past would not change, it was true. But it did not hold the future.
In love, the present is forgiven, and the past is forgotten.
He slipped the bottle into his yukata.
He bought the groceries that afternoon in record time. Then he walked slowly to the wide bridge with the street lights. He looked down into the water below, took out the little medicine bottle, and decided.
He opened the bottle, and let the little tablets fall into the water, one at a time. With each little tablet, he felt a small haunting memory disappear into the water as well. With each one, a condemning reason not to love her fell, never to return. He kept the bottle. He would give it to Saitou tomorrow as evidence. He would not see it again after that.
He then looked up at the sky. "Tomoe, you will always have a place in my heart. But now the time is right, for me to finally open my heart to her. Protect her, the way you protect me."
A little wind blew, and wrapped itself around him. Yes, I will. Be happy with her. It whispered into his ear, then moved on.
Another little wind carried Kaoru's voice to him. He saw her waving at him from one end of the bridge. "Here you are!" she called out. "I've been looking for you!"
As he waved back to her, he remembered her words.
I love you. Think of absolutely nothing else.
Kaoru talked for a bit about looking for him at the Akabeko and at the market. He told her about being in the market a while earlier. Little niceties, to calm his nerves. Soon she tugged at his sleeves, and reminded him they had to go home.
The sun was setting over the bridge, and covered the sky in orange. The bridge was now quite deserted. It was only him and her at the middle of the bridge, looking down at the water passing underneath. He took a deep breath. Now was as good a time, and as good a place, as he would ever get.
He bowed his head, and muttered. "Kamiya Kaoru……………dono."
She turned around. "You said something, Kenshin?"
He looked up, and looked well into her eyes. "Kamiya Kaoru, would you be so kind…………would you…………..would you………….."
"Would I what?"
The master orator and negotiator, found it difficult to formulate his words. "I………um………….wish to ask……………"
Was this it?
She asked herself, as her heart began to thump. She was not sure. She never really knew what was on his mind at any given time. She tried to play it cool. "Sure, ask anything!" she smiled. "But if you'll be asking for money, we're a little short right now, so I hope you could wait a week………….."
He shook his head.
"Kaoru……………..would you……………do me the honor……………..would you marry me?"
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As you can more or less see, this story is winding down. I did say it will not be long. The next chapter will probably be the last, unless an epilogue is made. Once again, please wait patiently. The next chapter will probably be out by the last week of December.
I'm now a big sucker for Lovers in Paris. It's a Korean comedy-drama. If Enishi were the son of a company CEO, and Misao a poor working girl he met by accident, imagine the romantic adventures that could happen. That would essentially be the story. It's really cute, and mushy in a nice way.
junyortrakr -- Answers? Well, finding them will take longer than the scope of this story, I think. JML -- I agree about the daisuki. Thanks for liking it. Brittanie Love -- Thanks much. pnaixrose -- No problem. As you can see I am winding things down. PraiseDivineMercy -- Thanks for reading! Kenshin should've been less cranky? OK, sorry about that. samuraiduck27 -- Thank you so much. Ali-Adi -- You're back, thanks! Thanks for liking it. evilteddybear -- How do I get the ideas for this story? School life can get crazy for me, so I just want to run away from it all. I think I mentioned in Chapter 2 how this thing came together from watching The Aristocats. 8 ) What makes me think this way? School makes me crazy. Chiki – Place me on Author Alerts, please, if you want emails whenever I update. Thanks for liking the interaction. No, there are plenty of better writers in the RK section, but thanks for liking my work.