(This chapter is dedicated to my religion teacher, Mr. P, how loves to have
us meditate in class!)
Harry had a very full schedule: Quiditch practice 3 nights a week, 1 night for homework, Occlumency 1 night a week, lessons with Luna 1 night a week, and D.A. meetings 1 night a week. So the weeks slipped from September to mid-October. Before D.A. meetings Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Luna went in and fixed up the Shrieking Shack bit by bit. They repaired furniture, scourged the whole house, and added whatever they thought necessary (some desks, chairs, books, bookshelves, etc.). In general they made it livable. At Luna's suggestion they put up a corkboard for announcements. Hermione charmed the door from the tunnel to only unlock with the password "dragon-fire". The other doors of the house were locked as well and could not be opened from the inside, each with a different password (passwords that only the six of them had and did not share with the others). They charmed the windows so that even though things would look the same from the outside but the members of the D.A. would not be able to see the village of Hogsmeade around. Harry and the other five had agreed that it would be best if the others in the D.A. didn't know where it was that they were when they were at the meetings; if the others knew they were in the Shrieking Shack they might use it to sneak out to Hogsmeade.
* * * * *
Harry entered McGonagall's room and saw that the desks had been pushed back out of the way, clearing a large empty space on the floor.
"Sit," Luna commanded.
"There's no chair."
"Sit on the ground like I am."
Harry sat cross-legged on the ground.
"We didn't seem to be making much progress with the force-write spell or visualization technique so I thought we'd try something new to clear your mind. New for you anyway: meditation. I meditate every night."
"I don't meditate." It sounded like a waste of time.
"But you need to learn to," she persisted. "I'll walk you through it. Close your eyes. Breathe. I said 'breathe'! Deep breaths. Focus on your breathing."
Harry felt extremely stupid, but he did as he was told. His eyes shut, he breathed. It was strange, he though, Luna seemed more . . . human during these extra Occlumency lessons. She didn't seem so dazed; she was very commanding, almost . . . bossy.
"Just your breathing. Slow and rhythmic. Deep breathing. Let your shoulders sad. Release tension from your neck. Roll your head in circles. Concentrate on your breathing. Let your worries go and focus. Slow and rhythmic breathing. See the clouds drifting through the sky, moving little by little. The wind is rippling through the grass of the Quiditch pitch, moving it all, blade by blade. Each breath it like the wind stirring a single blade of grass. Then, short, flat, green grass that bends and crunches when you walk on it. Concentrate on your breathing; slow deep breaths. In and out. What are you thinking?"
"Nothing," he answered truthfully.
"Good. You're relaxed and your mind is clear. Open your eyes. Stand up."
Harry did as he was told.
"Put away your wand."
Harry hesitated.
"Put it away."
He dropped it on the nearest table.
"You're tensing up again. Relax, otherwise your mind is going to feed me everything you fear or don't want me to know about."
He began to focus on his breathing again.
"Excellent. When I try to break into your mind you must defend yourself. Don't let me in."
"What about my-"
"You don't need it. This is a battle of will. Do you want to keep me out of your mind more than I want in? Do you want to keep Voldemort out more than he wants to get in?"
"Yeah!"
"Prove it. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . Legilimens!"
Harry concentrated and focused all his energy on keeping his mind free. Nobody was going to push him around. He willed his mind to remain free. The memories didn't come. Luna broke the mind connection and smiled.
"I think you're finally getting the knack of this."
"Thanks."
"You can be done for tonight."
"I'll help you put the furniture back where it belongs."
"Don't bother." She waved her wand carelessly in a slow circle. The furniture rearranged itself to where it normally was.
"How . . .?"
"We've all got our own tricks and secrets."
Harry could have sworn he saw her wink.
"Go back to your friends, I'll see you at the next D.A. meeting."
"Okay."
* * * * *
When Harry got back to the common room Ron approached him immediately. His voice was rather curt. "How was your lesson with McGonagall? Any progress?"
"Actually, yeah," he said, much relieved. "Today was a major breakthrough."
"Good." He didn't sound like he meant it. "Hermione's been wondering where you've been going every week."
That explained the odd tone. Ron didn't like lying to Hermione if he could avoid it. For that matter, Harry didn't like lying to her either. "Ron-"
"I know you weren't with McGonagall. I haven't seen you have any trouble in her class. Besides that, all the teachers were at a meeting tonight. All of them."
Only one word came to Harry's mind. He said it. "Oh."
"So what's the deal, Harry? Do you have a girlfriend in another house that you didn't want us to know about or something? I'm grasping at straws here, help me out."
"I'm sorry, Ron. Where's Hermione? I'll tell you both together. We might as well get Ginny too." They found the girls and sat down. "I'm really sorry, mates. I should have told you the whole truth, but I guess was just too embarrassed. Two years and hardly any progress..." he trailed off.
"What are you saying, Harry?" asked Hermione.
"Luna noticed my trouble in Occlumency. So she asked if I wanted t help. I didn't tell you, any of you," he met Ginny's eyes briefly, "because I was embarrassed, especially after I wasn't making much progress. McGonagall let us meet in her room every week. But tonight, Luna suggested I try meditating to clear my mind. See, Snape always told me to clear my mind but he never explained how, but now I can and that's really the first step, I guess."
Hermione blinked. "So that's the reason you didn't ask me for help. I didn't believe for one minute that you thought I was too busy. I've always been busy but always helped you anyway." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Luna's better at Occlumency than me. I understand."
"It's not just that, she's a Legilimensist. Whoever was going to help me had to be a Legilimensist, or there'd be no way I could practice."
"I understand."
Harry sighed internally, Hermione understood but it still hurt her that she couldn't help.
Ron frowned.
"What the matter? Are you mad at me? I said I was sorry," said Harry.
"No. I just kinda like the idea of you having a secret girlfriend or something. Lessons are boring. But since it's Looney Lovegood it's obvious there's nothing going on." He sounded rather disappointed.
Ginny asked, "What makes you say that? I don't think the two of them would be a bad pair." She eyed Harry.
It took Harry a minute to understand Ginny. "Me and Luna?" he asked in disbelief. Had this been Ginny's theory about him over the summer? "No, no, no!" He blushed. Luna was a very nice person but.it didn't matter. He had more important things to think about this year than dating.
Ginny just shrugged. "If you say so."
"Are you going to keep on with the extra lessons, Harry?"
"I've got to. I'm only just making progress. I can't stop now. But you can all join if you want. Luna didn't invite you 'cause she knew I didn't want to say anything. She told me to invite you guys when I was comfortable when tell you I was getting extra help in the first place."
Harry had a very full schedule: Quiditch practice 3 nights a week, 1 night for homework, Occlumency 1 night a week, lessons with Luna 1 night a week, and D.A. meetings 1 night a week. So the weeks slipped from September to mid-October. Before D.A. meetings Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Luna went in and fixed up the Shrieking Shack bit by bit. They repaired furniture, scourged the whole house, and added whatever they thought necessary (some desks, chairs, books, bookshelves, etc.). In general they made it livable. At Luna's suggestion they put up a corkboard for announcements. Hermione charmed the door from the tunnel to only unlock with the password "dragon-fire". The other doors of the house were locked as well and could not be opened from the inside, each with a different password (passwords that only the six of them had and did not share with the others). They charmed the windows so that even though things would look the same from the outside but the members of the D.A. would not be able to see the village of Hogsmeade around. Harry and the other five had agreed that it would be best if the others in the D.A. didn't know where it was that they were when they were at the meetings; if the others knew they were in the Shrieking Shack they might use it to sneak out to Hogsmeade.
* * * * *
Harry entered McGonagall's room and saw that the desks had been pushed back out of the way, clearing a large empty space on the floor.
"Sit," Luna commanded.
"There's no chair."
"Sit on the ground like I am."
Harry sat cross-legged on the ground.
"We didn't seem to be making much progress with the force-write spell or visualization technique so I thought we'd try something new to clear your mind. New for you anyway: meditation. I meditate every night."
"I don't meditate." It sounded like a waste of time.
"But you need to learn to," she persisted. "I'll walk you through it. Close your eyes. Breathe. I said 'breathe'! Deep breaths. Focus on your breathing."
Harry felt extremely stupid, but he did as he was told. His eyes shut, he breathed. It was strange, he though, Luna seemed more . . . human during these extra Occlumency lessons. She didn't seem so dazed; she was very commanding, almost . . . bossy.
"Just your breathing. Slow and rhythmic. Deep breathing. Let your shoulders sad. Release tension from your neck. Roll your head in circles. Concentrate on your breathing. Let your worries go and focus. Slow and rhythmic breathing. See the clouds drifting through the sky, moving little by little. The wind is rippling through the grass of the Quiditch pitch, moving it all, blade by blade. Each breath it like the wind stirring a single blade of grass. Then, short, flat, green grass that bends and crunches when you walk on it. Concentrate on your breathing; slow deep breaths. In and out. What are you thinking?"
"Nothing," he answered truthfully.
"Good. You're relaxed and your mind is clear. Open your eyes. Stand up."
Harry did as he was told.
"Put away your wand."
Harry hesitated.
"Put it away."
He dropped it on the nearest table.
"You're tensing up again. Relax, otherwise your mind is going to feed me everything you fear or don't want me to know about."
He began to focus on his breathing again.
"Excellent. When I try to break into your mind you must defend yourself. Don't let me in."
"What about my-"
"You don't need it. This is a battle of will. Do you want to keep me out of your mind more than I want in? Do you want to keep Voldemort out more than he wants to get in?"
"Yeah!"
"Prove it. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . Legilimens!"
Harry concentrated and focused all his energy on keeping his mind free. Nobody was going to push him around. He willed his mind to remain free. The memories didn't come. Luna broke the mind connection and smiled.
"I think you're finally getting the knack of this."
"Thanks."
"You can be done for tonight."
"I'll help you put the furniture back where it belongs."
"Don't bother." She waved her wand carelessly in a slow circle. The furniture rearranged itself to where it normally was.
"How . . .?"
"We've all got our own tricks and secrets."
Harry could have sworn he saw her wink.
"Go back to your friends, I'll see you at the next D.A. meeting."
"Okay."
* * * * *
When Harry got back to the common room Ron approached him immediately. His voice was rather curt. "How was your lesson with McGonagall? Any progress?"
"Actually, yeah," he said, much relieved. "Today was a major breakthrough."
"Good." He didn't sound like he meant it. "Hermione's been wondering where you've been going every week."
That explained the odd tone. Ron didn't like lying to Hermione if he could avoid it. For that matter, Harry didn't like lying to her either. "Ron-"
"I know you weren't with McGonagall. I haven't seen you have any trouble in her class. Besides that, all the teachers were at a meeting tonight. All of them."
Only one word came to Harry's mind. He said it. "Oh."
"So what's the deal, Harry? Do you have a girlfriend in another house that you didn't want us to know about or something? I'm grasping at straws here, help me out."
"I'm sorry, Ron. Where's Hermione? I'll tell you both together. We might as well get Ginny too." They found the girls and sat down. "I'm really sorry, mates. I should have told you the whole truth, but I guess was just too embarrassed. Two years and hardly any progress..." he trailed off.
"What are you saying, Harry?" asked Hermione.
"Luna noticed my trouble in Occlumency. So she asked if I wanted t help. I didn't tell you, any of you," he met Ginny's eyes briefly, "because I was embarrassed, especially after I wasn't making much progress. McGonagall let us meet in her room every week. But tonight, Luna suggested I try meditating to clear my mind. See, Snape always told me to clear my mind but he never explained how, but now I can and that's really the first step, I guess."
Hermione blinked. "So that's the reason you didn't ask me for help. I didn't believe for one minute that you thought I was too busy. I've always been busy but always helped you anyway." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Luna's better at Occlumency than me. I understand."
"It's not just that, she's a Legilimensist. Whoever was going to help me had to be a Legilimensist, or there'd be no way I could practice."
"I understand."
Harry sighed internally, Hermione understood but it still hurt her that she couldn't help.
Ron frowned.
"What the matter? Are you mad at me? I said I was sorry," said Harry.
"No. I just kinda like the idea of you having a secret girlfriend or something. Lessons are boring. But since it's Looney Lovegood it's obvious there's nothing going on." He sounded rather disappointed.
Ginny asked, "What makes you say that? I don't think the two of them would be a bad pair." She eyed Harry.
It took Harry a minute to understand Ginny. "Me and Luna?" he asked in disbelief. Had this been Ginny's theory about him over the summer? "No, no, no!" He blushed. Luna was a very nice person but.it didn't matter. He had more important things to think about this year than dating.
Ginny just shrugged. "If you say so."
"Are you going to keep on with the extra lessons, Harry?"
"I've got to. I'm only just making progress. I can't stop now. But you can all join if you want. Luna didn't invite you 'cause she knew I didn't want to say anything. She told me to invite you guys when I was comfortable when tell you I was getting extra help in the first place."