I know and I'm sorry. I really am. I seem to have a problem with my mind wandering when I sit at the computer to type, mainly on the second arch.

Anyway, to all you lovely people who have reviewed, I love you all so much. Without you, this story would not have got this far. I really have a penance of not finishing what I have started but with this I intend to.

Happy Christmas to all.

I'm definitely getting a lot of people wondering about Harry. Please don't worry. This story and the next are in the Harry/Draco section for a reason and I am a sucker for a happy ending. Well, maybe not happy, but not miserable and to do this, the characters have to suffer a little. It always makes the ending happier.

Okay, lets get started. As usual, please review and tell me what you thought and please forgive my grammatical errors. No beta reader. If you spot any, tell me and I will correct it.

I do not own Harry Potter - Nuff said!

DARKNESS OR LIGHT. WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE?

Chapter 26 - Discussions And New Years Eve

Sirius paused outside the infirmary, partly hesitant, partly questioning. What the hell was he supposed to say to the Malfoy boy? How was he supposed to help console a boy when he couldn't even console himself? It was madness.

"Chickening out are we Black?" The mocking voice of the Potions Professor came from behind him. "That sounds about right."

"Piss off Severus," Sirius hissed. "This was your idea in the first place. I haven't decided on what to say to him yet."

"What? Big mouth Black himself at a loss for words?" Severus' words were harsh but the tone sounded tired. "Try the basic, 'it's not your fault' first, then go to, it will be okay.' They should work."

Sirius muttered a few choice cusses under his breath, then pushed open the door to the infirmary and then slammed it in Severus' face. He spotted the shaking form of Draco Malfoy almost immediately, situated at the other end of the infirmary. He was sitting on his bed, rocking himself slightly. If Sirius hadn't known, he would never have believed that this was a Malfoy. Draco looked totally unlike his father at that moment, with his limp blonde hair and teary eyes.

"Draco," Sirius said quietly, moving closer to the bed. "It's Sirius. Can I speak to you for a moment?"

Draco didn't answer and didn't even acknowledge his existence. He just kept on rocking himself.

"Draco?" Sirius reached the bed and sat down next to the distraught boy. His mind was whirling with questions but he knew that he wouldn't get answers for any of them. "Look Draco, I know you are blaming yourself right now but it isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault but that bastard Voldemort's. Not yours."

Still nothing. Sirius sighed, then reached out and pulled Draco towards him, encircling the boy in his arms.

"It is not your fault. It is not your fault Draco. It is not your fault." He whispered over and over again, holding the boy tightly until his shaking had subsided.

"....Lucius....not...father...anymore..." Draco muttered into Sirius' shoulder before he broke down in sobs, silent sobs. Sirius roughly translated this as it is also Lucius' fault and he is not his father anymore.

"It's okay. Let it out. You need to." He silently cussed Lucius Malfoy under his breath with all of the swear words he could think of at that moment.

"Black, what's going on?" He heard Severus' voice from the door of the infirmary. "Have you gotten him talking yet?"

"To me, yes. To you, I highly doubt it." Sirius pulled away from the hug he was bestowing Draco and lay him back down on the bed. The boy was still crying, but gently. Tears slowly edging out from behind his eyes.

"Black?"

Sirius waved a hand behind him to shut the other man up then looked down at Draco. He was staring up at him silently.

"Draco, are you listening?"

Draco nodded, which Sirius took as a good sign.

"Look. As I said, none of what happened is your fault. None of it. That bastard has been after Harry since the moment he was born. You being there or not would have changed nothing." Sirius reached out a hand and stroked Draco's cheek. "In all honesty, I think you were very good for Harry. In all the short times I spent with him, I had never seen him as happy as I did when he was with you."

A tiny, very tiny smile appeared on Draco's face for a second, then it disappeared again. Sirius sighed.

"Get some sleep. When you wake up, I want you to try and pull it together all right? I know you hurt but hiding yourself away wont help what has happened. Even if it is just to sit with your friends, It is comforting and trying to ease your pain will help ease theirs as well."

The hand that was on Draco's cheek moved to his eyes and he used his fingertips to close them. Sirius waited until Draco had drifted into sleep before moving from the bed and back out of the Infirmary. Severus was still outside in the corridor, leaning on the wall with his arms folded.

"Encouraging words Black. Never thought I'd hear something as deep as that coming from you."

"Shut up Snape." Sirius stomped down the corridor, ignoring the jibing teacher following behind him

~~~~

"Mr Weasley. Thank you for coming. Please sit down."

Ron sat down on the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk and look apprehensively at the Headmaster. Dumbledore stared back at him, his fingers clasped together and a stern look on his face. The twinkling eyes that Ron was used to were nowhere in sight; not that Ron was surprised. What did surprise him was the fact that Dumbledore didn't look saddened at all, just worried. Reflecting back, everyone in the Infirmary when Draco had broken the news had been saddened, apart from Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. For some reason she had been frightened.

"I need to talk to you about a few things, but first I must talk to you about Harry." Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. "About what we are going to tell the rest of the school."

Ron's look changed to puzzlement. "What do you mean sir?"

"It might seem strange to you that a Headmaster is asking a student on what he thinks is the right thing to do. Should I tell the students about Harry, or should I wait and keep it a secret for a while? On one hand, like last year, If I tell them I would be telling the truth and keeping no secrets from people, on the other, I could be causing a lot of grief and help people to lose hope. The name of Harry Potter gives people that hope. To tell everyone what has happened will cause people to despair. To lie would keep their hopes alive."

"Darkness or Light. What is our choice?" Ron muttered. "Hope or Despair. Personally I choose hope sir. Without hope, we have nothing. Although I feel that lying isn't a good thing to do, if we told the school the truth, it would be chaos."

"So you agree with my judgement that telling everyone what has happened is not the best course of action?"

"For now, yes sir but we will have to the truth eventually."

"Undoubtedly."

The room fell silent for a few moments. Ron stared at his lap, trying to think up a good reason for Harry's absence but not having much success. As if reading Ron's thoughts, Dumbledore spoke.

"I have sent him on an errand and will be away for an indefinite amount of time. That is all you need say. It is a secret."

Ron nodded in agreement. "What else did you need to speak to me about?"

"Mr Malfoy." Dumbledore pushed away from the table and leaned back in his chair. "About where I should send him during the summer holidays. Professor Snape and myself have discussed it and decided he is not going back home. I have spoken to his mother and she has agreed it would be best if he stayed elsewhere for now."

"Where will you send him?"

"Well, I was considering sending him to stay with Professor Snape, but we had another offer, which is a better idea. He is to go home with you."

"Me?" Ron said in surprise. "What will my dad say to that? He hates all Malfoy's. He will never agree to it."

"Actually, it was his idea. Have you written to them and told them about everything that has happened recently?"

Ron shook his head in a no. "Someone could have read my letter and found out about Harry. I didn't want that."

"Well I have. They know what has happened and decided that it would be best if Mr Malfoy stays with then over the summer. Do you mind?"

"No, but Draco might." Ron blushed slightly. "I don't actually have the same luxuries that he is used to."

"I think under the circumstances, he won't really care."

Ron silently agreed to that statement. Without Harry, Draco didn't seem to care much about anything at the moment. He himself hadn't actually reached that point but it was close. Every morning felt strange without Harry waking up in the next bed. Hogwarts without Harry just felt wrong.

"Mr Weasley," Dumbledore interrupted his musings. "I am temporarily moving Mr Malfoy into the Gryffindor dorm room. I want you to keep an eye on him. Even though Sirius has brought him back to himself, he still needs help. He has gone though and emotional breakdown over the past few days and he needs help to recover." Dumbledore stared at Ron questioningly. "Is that all right? Can you do that? Stay with him?"

Ron nodded positively. No matter what had happened in the past few days, Draco was still his friend and Ron understood his grief. He was the only one who had touched Draco's emotions concerning Harry and he knew how deeply Draco cared for his best friend. "I will sir." He spoke.

"Last question," Dumbledore stared at Ron piercingly. "Had Harry mentioned Vin to you other than the time he was overheard in Hogsmeade on Halloween?"

"No sir, although he continuously had bad dreams. Draco might have heard something else. I'm sorry I don't know anything more."

Dumbledore waved away his apology then dismissed Ron with a small smile. Ron stood up and made his way over to the door. He placed his hand on the handle but paused in opening the door when Dumbledore spoke again.

"Remember to tell Miss Parkinson, Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy to keep the details silent about Harry. Stick together and Mr Weasley," here Dumbledore paused. Ron turned to face the Headmaster and saw a very sincere look on his face. "I'm very sorry."

Ron nodded in acknowledgment, then turned back and left the room.

~~~~

It was New Years Eve. A party had been arranged by the Gryffindors and was being held in the common room. It was Gryffindor only, apart from a few special exceptions, namely Pansy and Draco. Ron was definitely not in a party mood and neither was Pansy, Draco and Hermione but it was accepted that they would go, to keep up the appearance of a group of friends cheerfully hanging together while one was absent for a little while and only a little while.

The party was in full swing when Ron pushed open the portrait entrance. He led Draco over to an empty sofa and sat him down, Hermione curling up beside him and moving his head so that it rested on her shoulder. Ron sat on Draco's other side and pulled Pansy onto his lap.

"I don't know how long I can keep this facade up," Pansy muttered, absently running her fingers through Ron's hair. "I keep being asked questions that I don't know how to answer."

"I know." Ron leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I feel emotionally drained. If not for that potion that Pomfrey gave us, I would probably spend every day in bed, unmoving." The nurse had supplied them with a potion that acted as an anti-depressant. It helped a little.

"We have to keep going, for Draco's sake." Hermione picked up Draco's hand from where it had been resting on the chair and she squeezed it. Ron opened his eyes and turned his head so that he could see the girl's expression. Hermione had not smiled once in the past couple of days, which was hardly surprising. Her tone and her expression had remained neutral, balanced without a sign of anger or sadness either. It was exactly how Draco was behaving, although he wasn't talking.

"Didn't Blaise say he was coming?" Pansy changed the subject suddenly making Ron turn his gaze back to her.

"Yes he did. He's already here." Hermione pointed to the staircase leading to the dorm rooms. Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil were leaning on the rails, chatting to Dean, Blaise hovering around them.

"Who let him in?" Ron wondered.

"Ginny probably. She knows he is friends with us."

No one spoke for a few moments, and then Ron stood up, moving Pansy onto the seat as he did.

"I'm thirsty. Anyone else want a drink?"

A chorus of nods answered him and he left the morose sofa and headed in the direction of the large tables that had been set up at the edge of the common room.

It had been two days. Two days since the uttered words of 'Harry is dead' had hit him. Two draining and miserable days. Truth be told, Ron hadn't actually had time to grieve properly for the passing of his best friend. He had been too busy comforting everyone else.

Hermione had cried and cried, tears continuously flowing down her cheeks. Silent tears. Pansy had sobbed on and off but her face had been a picture of misery. Draco on the other hand had at first rocked himself back and forth while muttering to himself, then Sirius had a few words with him and the rocking and muttering stopped. Now he was silent. He did acknowledge things around him and ate and drank but he didn't speak and the only person he allowed to comfort him was Hermione.

Hermione. Pansy had finally forgiven her while they were grieving and now acted like friends. Not close friends but still, better than they were. They both mothered Draco incessantly, which would have really irked the blonde if he were more focused on his surroundings. It seemed to Ron that Draco didn't care anymore. Nothing seemed to bother him. As Ron was used to the very expressive Draco Malfoy, it was strange.

"Hey Ron."

Ron sighed, then turned to face Seamus. "Hi. What is it?"

"Grumpy much," Seamus grinned at him. "It's nearly midnight. Have you made your resolutions yet?"

Ron gave him a weak smile. At least it wasn't another 'where has Harry gone?' question. He was sick to death of them.

"A couple. Can't tell you though." He did have a few, one being to kick Voldemort's arse to kingdom come.

"Good point. If you tell them, they don't come true." Seamus took a sip of his drink then led Ron over to the refreshment table and they were promptly joined by Dean.

"Ron, try this stuff," Dean grabbed a bottle from the centre of the table which held an orange liquid. "It's fabulous."

"Sure, whatever," Ron sighed. "I'll need four though."

"Not a prob." Dean grabbed a circular metal tray and put it onto the table and placed four plastic glasses on it. He filled each one with the drink and picked up the tray. "Here you are."

Ron took the metal tray that Dean handed him. The drink looked like orange juice but smelled suspiciously different. To Ron's eyes, Dean looked a little bit glassy, as if he was slightly drunk. Shrugging, he nodded to Seamus and Dean, then manouvered around he clutters of people scattered around the common room and headed back towards the sofa where Pansy, Draco and Hermione were still sitting. Ron noted that Blaise and Ginny had joined them. Both perched on opposite arms of the sofa.

"Thanks Ron." Hermione took both hers and Draco's drink from the tray. Pansy also took her drink and Ron placed the tray on the table next to them.

"Happy New Year." Ron stood in front of the sofa and stared down at them. "That is what I hope, but...." He trailed off, unable to continue.

"But what?" Blaise asked."

"Nothing." Ron stared down at he floor, feeling guilty for not telling Blaise or his sister what had happened but he had to hold to the promise that he had made to Dumbledore.

"It is time!"

Ron jerked his head up and stared at everyone seated on the sofa. They were all flicking their gazes between him and each other in confusement.

"Who said that?" Ron asked.

"That's my question," Blaise replied. Ginny nodded in agreement. Pansy, Hermione and Draco just stared at him.

"Everyone. It's time for the countdown." George's voice was heard from the other side of the room. "Ten."

"Nine, eight, seven..." the room chanted.

"Awaken."

"...six...."

"Who is that?" Hermione stood up.

"...five, four, three..."

"Now."

"...two, one..."

"Vin."

"...zero. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

As one, Blaise, Ginny, Ron, Pansy, Hermione and Draco all covered their mouths and choked.

"I'm gonna be sick," Ron muttered.

The Gryffindor common room ceased all activity and everyone stared in surprise as six of their year mates thundered up the main staircase, all making retching sounds.

~~

Another cliff-hanger. I bet you are all sick of them

Anyway, please review and please, no flames. I'm plenty warm.