Hmmm. I'm too bitchy right now to write something cute here so I will forgo the usual witticisms and continue to console myself with my bag of "dropjes". Nysha my love, dropjes and double salted licorice are one and the same. Salted black licorice. Double salted. It's a Dutch thing, an acquired taste so to speak and not for the faint hearted. It's actually from Mr. Romie's stash but he's not here. Finders keepers.

The disclaimers still apply.

Chapter Sixteen.

Sandy knew letting Ryan stay in Carmichael was the right decision for him. It wasn't the right decision for the family though. What Ryan said about living in Newport, about not being accepted, he understood.

He had lived it.

Even now, there was enough of Orange County's self-proclaimed elite that believed he was merely riding on Kirsten's coat-tails and Caleb's generosity. His law degree didn't matter, the fact he worked his way through university, surviving on scholarships for tuition and part-time jobs for daily existence wasn't of importance. He was an outsider and would always be one.

For Ryan, it must have been so much worse. Sandy heard the snide remarks and nasty comments that were made about Ryan. Even in his own home, where these people ate the food he paid for, drank the booze he bought.

No wait, the food Kirsten paid for, the alcohol she bought. He contributed nothing to the family. Hell, Jimmy Cooper, even after stealing millions and borrowing $100,000 from Kirsten, told him that he had no idea what it was like to provide for a family.

Providing for a family was all about Chanel, Prada, luxury cars and alopeciac ponies named China. Those were the important things.

Remembering what he had gone through when he and Kirsten first moved to Newport with 6 year old Seth, he knew Ryan was right. He was always fighting to prove he deserved to be there, living in an upscale zip code, attending an elite school where the focus was more on tax bracket than academic achievement.

For some people, there was no Ryan Atwood, just some delinquent living off the kindness of Kirsten Nichol, waiting to steal from her.

To ruin her life.

To finish what Sandy Cohen, formerly of the Bronx, started.

Now he sat in his car, the rain easing up, afraid to face his wife and his son because they couldn't understand, they couldn't know what it's like not to belong anywhere.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mandy knocked for the third time. She would have given up but she knew Marty/Ryan was in there. Sandy Cohen had left a few hours ago and the apartment had been quiet since. Her "Mama Bear" instinct was still in full force, maybe more so because there was no 21 year old "Marty". He was Ryan and he was 17.

The door opened, revealing a scruffy,sleepy, teenaged boy.

"I'm sorry Marty, um, Ryan... I didn't mean to wake you."

"'S'kay" he mumbled. "C'mon in..."

After his vision cleared he noticed Mandy's purple hair. Her very purple hair. She caught him staring at her.

Don't every buy cheap hair colour from Wal-Mart..." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"So, what do you want me to call you?"

Ryan flexed his sore hand, trying to ease the stiffness. Despite the pills it still hurt. It still burned.

"Ryan's good. Sorry about the whole "Marty" thing... It's just... It's complicated..."

"Are you okay?"

Ryan nodded.

"So you'll be staying here?"

Ryan nodded again, still surprised Sandy allowed him to remain.

"That's good. I want to let you know that we're heading out for a week. I was wondering if you could watch Peanut for us. Given the choice, I'd rather take the dog and leave the kids, but Will's parents wouldn't be too happy with me." She caught Ryan's look. "I'm kidding about leaving Sam and Michael. If you'd be willing to hold down the fort, we'd forgo the rent while we're gone, if that's alright with you."

"Sure ... Uh, you don't mind if I have company do you?"

Mandy raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Not like that... Um, it's just now that the Cohens know where I am they'll be coming by and uh, Seth, he's their son... and we've got a few things to work out..."

Mandy could see Ryan getting uncomfortable with sharing too much information.

"That's not a problem. So, I'll leave you a set of keys for downstairs. You can put the mail in the front hall. I'll bring Peanut's stuff up here."

"'kay... When are you leaving?"

Mandy was tempted to make a joke about Ryan wanting to get rid of them but she knew in his state he wouldn't see the humour in her statement.

"Will's sleeping right now. I've told the kids when their dad sleeps during the day it's because he's really a vampire. It keeps them quiet and out of trouble..."

She knew she was rambling. She hated when she did that. She needed to say what she came to say.

"The Cohens... Are they good people?"

Ryan looked directly in her eyes and smiled. His first real one in weeks.

"Yeah, they really are."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sandy, what were you thinking? I'll tell you what you were thinking... You weren't! How could you let him stay there? He's still a minor. We're responsible for him. You should have made him come back with you. He's our son..."

Sandy was surprised that Kirsten was taking the news as well as she was. He had imagined her ripping off his "appendage" and beating him with the wet end of it. Seth and Summer were wisely staying quiet. He knew Seth would have plenty to say when his mother was finished.

"Kirsten, I don't want to "make" him come back. I want Ryan to "want" to come back. If we drag him kicking and screaming to Newport we'll lose him for good. This way, we can come up on weekends, Seth could drive up and they can hang out... He's a good kid, Kirsten. He wants to do something with his life, but it's got to be on his terms."

Kirsten understood that Sandy made the right decision, but it didn't make it any easier to accept. She wanted the fairy tale ending. She wanted the "happily ever after". She wanted both her boys home.

Sandy knew he was safe from physical damage to his "personality" when he saw Kirsten's shoulders relax. He pulled her into a hug.

"I want to see him" she whispered. "I want to see he's okay, that he has a safe place to stay, that he's taking care of himself..."

"Part of the deal was that we go out for dinner tonight. We'll pick him up around 5 and you can see his apartment. He's doing well here. He really is..."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seth and Summer had quietly left the room. He couldn't understand why Ryan wouldn't come home. Sure, he listened to what his dad said, but still...

"It's going to be alright Cohen. Chino just needs to figure things out... He'll come home."

Seth slouched into a vinyl chair in the lobby of the hotel. His guilt was paying him a return visit.

"No. I did this to him. I turned on my best friend and now he won't come back."

Summer gracelessly flopped in the chair beside him.

"Get over yourself Seth. It's not about you anymore. There's a whole lot of shit Ryan needs to work out. His mom walked out on him twice. You don't just get over it." Her voice softened. "I know what it's like, to have someone walk out of your life..."

She paused, letting her words sink in.

"This whole Oliver thing messed with his head. Oliver mind fucked him, Coop played him for nearly a year. He had to figure out how to deal with being part of a family where people actually give a shit about him. Something like this was probably going to happen sooner or later. It's better that it happened now, because if he was 18, your parents wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. He'd be gone for good..."

Seth closed his eyes. Summer was right. She was right about everything. The hardest thing for Ryan had to have been dealing with the family. Dawn never cared about him. She threw him out. She let her boyfriends beat on him whenever they felt like it.

Then again, so did he. Seth Cohen, who'd never hit anything except his pillow, punched his best friend. His dad, Mr. Pacifist, hit the kid he brought home, wanting to take him away from all the violence that had surrounded him. They weren't any better than his "real" family.

Summer poked him.

"Don't get all sulky on me Cohen. You can't change what happened. You fix it and move on. You heard your dad. He said you can drive up and hang out."

"It's not going to be the same..."

Summer leaned over and took Seth's face in her hands, gently forcing him to look at her.

"No it's not, but it can be better than it was. Ryan will forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself as well."

Seth kissed her.

"Boobs and brains... I am a lucky, lucky guy."