Fides
The two Heads made their way to the front of the train where the prefects were waiting for them. Most of them were surprised to see James-prank extraordinaire-babe magnet-Quidditch captain-rule breaking- Potter walk in to the compartment with his Head badge on. Soon their expressions changed as they saw that there was something that different about him
The Slytherins smirked as they realized that it had to do with his parent deaths. They were probably the only ones in Hogwarts that knew what had really happened the night his parents had died and they were glad to see that it was tormenting their newly established Head Boy. The Ravenclaws looked at him in sympathy and sorrow, while the Hufflepuffs merely looked surprised as they were all actually muggleborn and they did not know what had happened. The Gryffindors gazed at him in admiration and respect. They were glad to see that it was a Gryffindor that had gained the Head position and they knew that it meant a lot to him after what had happened in the summer.
James counted them with his eyes, ignoring all the looks that he was receiving and nodded in Lily's direction in order for her to precede
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts" she greeted, and many of the prefects replied. "You have been chosen by the headmaster himself to represent not only our school but your houses and years." She continued
_+_+_+
An hour later all the prefects had left, having been assigned their new positions, to patrol the train for trouble, leaving Lily and James alone in the Prefect Compartment.
"So Potter, how come you're Head Boy?" she asked him, trying to be polite
"I don't know, Lily" he answered, stressing her name and crossing his arms in front of his chest
Silence
"How come you're Head Girl? Its been a dream of yours right? You glad you finally accomplished it?" he asked her, she noticed that he was trying to be polite to make up for his previous rudeness. She felt a bit guilty though as it was her fault in the first place
"Yea," she nodded, "and I thank God every single day, for helping me achieve my goal." Lily admitted shyly.
James visibly stiffened
"I don't believe in God anymore" he stated looking back out the window. It was raining. He loved the rain. It never failed to sooth him. The way the light drizzle fell against the window, and the pounding water of a rainstorm against his skin while he was out flying.
Lily looked at him in surprise and wonder. As he gazed out the window, into the pouring rain, he looked so peaceful and content. His eyes, that moments before were glazed over with emotions, were now watching intently out the window with calmness and, almost, affection. Despite her fascination on his newfound innocence, she needed to know something
"What do you mean, you don't believe in God?" she asked timidly. She saw his eyes darken a bit as he gave a delayed shrug
"I mean that I don't believe in God" he answered slowly, turning his gaze only to her. She looked at him blankly
"Why?"
"How can you ask that after what He did to you? Your sister hates you for who you are. Some students in school hate you for who you are. They make you feel like you don't belong in either world, while you rightfully belong in both. Why would God do that if he really did exist? So many awful things happen to the world that it doesn't give me enough faith for something like that" he replied in the same monotonous tone
During his speech he had shifted into a new position. He now had his elbows on his knees and he was leaning forward to rest his head on his hands, bringing him closer to Lily, but she found she didn't mind
Instead she was perplexed at his answer. She had only heard that kind of answer from one other person and that person had gone through something terrible, which made her wonder about something else; what did happen to Potter over the summer?
But she would deal with that a little later. Alternatively she leaned slightly forward, causing him to blink
"My sister might think that I'm a freak but she is the only one in my family. I have a younger brother, a mother and a father that are very proud of me and although I would like to have my sister's wish in who I am I'm not altogether bothered about it anymore. We were never that close for me to care much. As for the people in school, its only the Slytherins that think that I should get thrown out of the school, the rest see me as I am; a witch. As you said I belong in both worlds and nothing anyone can say will make me change that image for me," she sighed loudly
"As for why God would do this to me, or to anyone else its simple; he's challenging us. Physically, mentally and emotionally. And he's waiting to see if we'll rise up to his challenge. God might have allowed a few bad things to happen but think about all the good things He's allowed to happen as well" she finished staring at him fixedly
"You've done this before haven't you?" he asked with some amusement in his voice. He didn't smile though
"Kinda. A friend of mine was going through exactly what you are going through" she told him
"Doubt that" he snorted, his eyes darkening slightly
"What happened to you Potter? You never seemed the pessimistic type" she told him. He extended her hand to place it on his but at contact, he snatched it away as if on fire, almost in pain
She blinked at him in surprise and confusion while he looked at his hand that seemed to turn red as though it had been hit. He looked at her as a flash of fear passed his pupils and he shot up from his seat
"I err- gotta go" he muttered and began to make his way to the compartment door but something stopped him. He turned around to see Lily holding on to his arm and her eyes penetrating his
almost immediately pain shot through his arm and he visibly flinched and drew his arm back to him, his eyes never leaving his. This time she didn't try to stop his moves as he moved backwards to the door.
"What the hell happened to you over the summer Potter?" she asked him, fear evident in her voice
"I lost faith, Lily," he answered, his voice bitter and low. Her heart dropped at the tone he was using. "I lost faith and I grew up" he added and left the compartment
Lily stared at the door for a while before sighing loudly and sat down with a huff
"What did happen?" she asked no one in particular and sunk into her thoughts as she watched the rain continue to fall
_+_+_+
James almost ran to the train toilets after he had left Lily and nearly fell due to the force he had used on the door. He locked the door before turning to the mirror
His reflection was so unlike what he was used to seeing. Less than seven hours ago, when he had looked in the mirror at his apartment, his reflection stared back at him with nothing but indifference but now…
Now he looked scared, in pain and desperate. Everything that he felt. Without breaking eye contact with his reflection he peeled his T-shirt off slowly and cringed at the sight
Where Lily had touched him was at the moment crimson, as if burned and his veins were outlined in an even darker shade of red. He eyed it carefully in the mirror and turned on the tap for the cold water to flow. As the water came in contact with his skin an intense feeling of relief washed over him and he noticed the darkened color of his skin pale slowly
"Shit" he said through gritted teeth as he sucked in air
When his wounded had turned to a much lighter shade of pink, he took off his glasses and rubbed the sweat that had formed on his forehead with water. He then leaned towards the mirror and stared into his own eyes before sighing deeply
"Merlin am I in deep shit" he muttered as he put on his top on once more and walked out the door
Thank yous
DracozFallenAngel ~ the effects of the curse is shown more in this chapter, if you still have problems in understanding the curse then I'll explain it further in the next chapter, but I hope I made it a bit clearer for everyone out there and you're right someone does have a crush on James but they don't know that yet heh ;p Thank you and I hope you keep enjoying my fics
LuthienGranger2004 ~ Thank you, hope you enjoy the rest of the story
SaMBraT ~ Thanks, I will (my name's Sam as well and I don't like green eggs and ham either heh)
Andufeniel ~ Thank you very much, that was actually my aim; to make them as real as possible, thank you! As for Orion, the next chapter is almost ready but I'm going to have to put it up at the end of next week cos I've got 3 major exams this week and the next, so sowy for the delay
Salem-is-my-Angel ~ Thank you, glad you like it
Living In A Nightmare~ *blush* yea, sorry bout that heh. To tell you the truth I don't think I have a real life outside ff.net but the thing is I got my exams, that's the bad thing. But the good thing is that now I'm on study leave! I'm home alone, unsupervised with free access to the internet. As long as I don't have a hard exam within the week I'll be updating but if it's hard then I'm going to have to study. Thank you so much for enjoying my fics and I hope you continue the rest of the story
Mrsmunkee ~ Thank you and I thought so too (I'm sounding like James in 5TH year aint I? Heh) well I'm glad you like my stories and I hope you continue to do so
Child-of-Scorpio ~ You want to hear something funny? I didn't know how to go about in bringing James to touch Lily (or vise versa) but with your review it came to me heh. Siriusly! Thank you so much for helping me and to show my gratitude I would like to dedicate this chapter to you, you have no idea how much you helped me. I was staying up last night trying to figure out how I'm going to do it when I read your review (again) and it just came to me! Thank you! As for my exams I'm doing Maths, English, Literature, History, Greek A' Level(I'm half Cypriot and its compulsory, but I hate it!), Art and Drama but they're done and my worst one, Biology which is at the end of this week. You? Which ones did you chose?
A/N so? Nice? Hope you enjoyed it, tell me what you think by emmm reviewing? Go on you know you want to heh
Latin Dictionary: Fides ~ Faith