Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bitchy and Cranky is back. I need a vacation from my "vacation". Oh, yeah. That's called work.

All disclaimers... yadda, yadda, yadda.

What chapter is this? Hopefully it's number 17 because that's what I'm calling it.

Chapter Seventeen.

Ryan fidgeted nervously while waiting for the Cohens. He had bussed it over to Wal-Mart to pick up a shirt to wear for dinner. He was now the proud owner of a navy blue golf shirt. At least he looked presentable. Letting himself back into his apartment, he noticed Peanut hadn't moved. In fact, the dog barely raised an ear as Ryan opened the door.

That was a good sign.

He wasn't up for a lot of talking.

He'd save the conversation for later.

The pulsating ache in his hand intensified again. The pain never really went away, but when it got bad enough that he couldn't ignore it any more, he knew it was time to medicate. After swallowing the caplets, he removed the bandage from his hand. He gingerly pressed down on the red slash. It seemed to be straining against the stitches. His palm looked bruised. Small red pin dots were surrounded by purple lesions. It didn't look good. He'd have it checked out at the walk-in clinic in the morning.

Despite the fact that the sun had been shining most of the afternoon and it was quite warm outside, Ryan shivered. He was still cold from his little walk in the rain with Sandy. Maybe another shower would help.

That'll work.

Shower.

Re-wrapping his hand.

Half hour later... Thirty minutes. 1800 seconds. Ryan was dressed in a pair of jeans and his new shirt. He started fidgeting again, trying to come up with a plausible excuse for backing out of seeing the Cohens.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Summer had left for Newport, deciding that the Cohens didn't need her around for their reunion with Ryan. Her work was done. After a week of "roughing it" in a Holiday Inn, she was in desperate need of a good spa treatment.

She earned it.

She called her dad to let him know she was coming home. The surprise in his voice made her realize he hadn't noticed she had been gone.

Yeah, she knew what it was like to have someone walk out on her.

She also knew the truth.

Just because someone didn't leave... didn't mean they stayed.

She hung up the phone and flicked away a tear. Summer Roberts didn't cry. Not for herself, anyway.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Range Rover was uncharacteristically quiet as the Cohens drove to Carmichael. Sandy was trying to formulate a plan to get Ryan to realize he needed to come home with them. Kirsten absently played with her wedding ring, twisting it around her finger. Seth was staring out the window. Apologize first, hug second? Hug first, apologize second? Forget the hug, because, well, that was a little minty? Stand back and wait to see if Ryan acknowledged him?

Fuck.

15 minutes was not enough time to figure all this out.

Ryan's continued pacing didn't faze the dog. Peanut lay there, watching him trying to formulate a plan to get the Cohens to realize he didn't need to go home with them. He played with the edges of the bandage, twisting it with his fingers. Ryan was now staring out the window. What to do about Seth... Apologize first, hug second? Hug first, apologize second? Forget the hug, because, well, he didn't hug. Hugs were too close. Hugs invaded his personal space. Should he stand back and wait to see if Seth acknowledged him?

Fuck.

The Cohens would be there any minute. Definitely not enough time to figure all this out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ryan barely had the door open when Kirsten pulled him to her. She hung onto him like she wasn't about to ever let him go. He wasn't sure how to respond. He could feel her tears seep into his shirt. Awkwardly, he put his arms around her. He didn't know what to do next. Wait for Kirsten to let go? Should he let go now? Isn't there a manual for this hugging stuff somewhere? Ryan glanced at Sandy, his eyes relaying his questions.

"Kirsten... honey... Ryan needs to breathe..."

She gave him one more squeeze before she stepped back, quickly wiping her eyes. She reached up and ran her fingers through his short hair.

"It's so short." She smiled. "And blonder too"

"It's easier to keep under a hard hat..."

Seth stepped out from behind his father. Everything he wanted to say came out in two words.

"I'm sorry."

Ryan looked at Seth.

"I know."

"We good?"

Ryan nodded.

"Yeah..."

Seven words. Seven words and a relationship was on the mend. A friendship would endure. Seven spoken words. Hundreds left unspoken. They'd come later. Everything was understood. All could be forgiven. Seth was hopeful.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kirsten watched as Ryan moved his food from one side of the plate to the other. She watched as he would open and close his bandaged hand. She watched as he tried to hide the pain.

She listened as Seth talked non-stop. She listened as Ryan spoke about his job and the Murrays. She even laughed as she listened to the reason for the dog wearing a white undershirt.

She heard what Ryan didn't tell them. His feelings of grief at the thought of losing the new start they'd promised him. His anger at the accusations. His acceptance of the physical violence that night. Almost as if he was expecting it. She could hear him rationalizing it, just as he'd done with his mother. Her boyfriends.

She heard everything he didn't tell them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ryan wasn't sure what to say when Sandy told him Seth could stay with him for a couple of weeks.

"That sounds cool, but I'm back to work Wednesday or Thursday..."

"Not to worry Ryan my man, I'll spend my days doing my summer reading and we can tear up the town when you're finished work."

Ryan looked at Sandy and Kirsten before answering Seth.

"This is Carmichael. Just about everything closes at six. Besides, I don't have very much space."

"Dude, you camped out in my room for a while when Theresa was staying in the pool house. I'll sleep on the floor. You won't even know I'm there..."

Ryan gave Seth a sideways glance.

"Don't make me beg... It's not a pretty sight, but I will resort to it if I have to."

Seth watched as Ryan leaned back in his chair. Victory was his and he didn't even break a sweat. Ryan, on the other hand had small drops of perspiration beading on his forehead. Kirsten noticed it as well. When she first saw Ryan he had looked so tanned, but now his bronzed skin had a definite grey tinge to it.

"Are you okay sweetie?" She wanted to add that she could see he didn't look well, but wisely kept the information to herself.

"I'm fine... Just a little cold. I must be sitting under the air conditioner."

Kirsten smiled at him, not believing a word he said. Sandy looked up. There was no vent. If anything, the restaurant was on the warm side. As Seth prattled on about the social activities he was planning for himself and Ryan, the Cohens studied him. His eyes were starting to glaze over. Sandy noticed bruising on Ryan's hand that wasn't there that morning.

"What exactly did you do to your hand anyway?" Sandy kept his tone light, trying to hide his concern.

Ryan clenched his fingers and then released them before answering.

"Pry bar. It slipped. Doctor said I'm fine. No real damage. Just a few stitches..."

His tolerance for conversation was waning. While he was glad to see the Cohens, he was tired and feeling agitated.

His change in mood didn't go unnoticed.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Sandy said a little too cheerfully. "We can make a stop at a department store and pick up what Seth needs and then drop you guys off. Is there someplace close by we can pick up an air mattress?"

"Yeah, uh, there's a Wal-Mart not too far from here..."

Now that they were leaving, Ryan's unsettled feelings died down. He exhaled slowly, offering a small smile to the Cohens.

"Thanks for dinner... This was... is... nice."

Kirsten knew Ryan meant every word. It was one step closer to home.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seth and Ryan opted to stay in the Rover while Kirsten and Sandy went into Wal-Mart. Ryan shifted slightly, leaned his back against the door and wrapped his arms around his chest.

Why the fuck was he so cold?

He wanted to close his eyes.

He wanted to sleep.

He knew Seth wanted to talk.

Verbal communication was highly over-rated.

"Why didn't you call?" Seth asked softly. "Mom and Dad... Well... I've never seen Dad so scared. He was a wreck. Mom too... I know I totally fucked up..."

"It's over. I don't need to talk about it." Ryan said somewhat impatiently.

Move on.

Move forward.

Don't look back.

No baggage, no regrets.

Those were his survival skills. They always worked before.

"If it had been anyone other than Marissa telling me that you were sleeping with Summer, I wouldn't have believed it..."

"Marissa? What the hell are you talking about?"

Not a step backwards, just coming to a standstill.

Seth swallowed hard and drew his knees to his chest, the heels of his well worn Converse runners digging into the leather seat.

"That night... when I uh... when.... Marissa told me that you and Summer had been... uh... sneaking off together to uh... you know..."

"And you believed her?" Ryan's anger grew. The agitation he felt earlier had returned, growing inside. He fought to keep it in check.

"The only thing Summer and I did was drive around to comic book stores. That's all!"

Ryan's voice became low and foreboding.

"I would never do anything like that... I'd never hurt you."

Seth held his knees tighter, trying to protect himself from Ryan's building fury.

"I know... I was stupid... I'm so sorry..."

"Yeah, you said that already." Ryan snapped.

The tension had almost a physical presence. Both boys were quiet.

The painful silence was broken by Ryan opening the car door, walking away as he slammed it behind him.