CHAPTER ONE

Iolaus grunted and stooped a bit as he shot a dirty look to Hercules. The guy was his best friend, but sometimes he wondered just how good a friend. He would rather be fishing, but Hercules had promised they would both help to rebuild the dam near Megara. The lack of water to the crops had the farmers without anything to irrigate the fields. It was all lug that lumber and dig that hole as Iolaus helped to keep the stream from trickling away.

"I'm thirsty." He groaned a bit.

"Help yourself." Hercules gestured to the water they were both waist deep in. Iolaus meanwhile noticed the villager behind him adjusting his pants as if something had been added to the water. The guy grinned a dirty little smile and then continued reinforcing the wall to trap the water.

"I don't think so." Iolaus turned back to work.

"Hercules!" Someone called as Iolaus hoped it was the call for dinner.

"Yes?"

"Some of the boys were exploring the caves on the other side of the woods." One of the mothers explained. "There was a rock slide burying some of the boys. You must get them out."

"Are they alive?" Hercules asked.

"We don't know." One of the mothers answered as the son of Zeus waded out and came to their help. Iolaus was right behind them. The old caves were left over from when Megara was a mining community and were definitely not safe. Today as a farming community, the city had almost completely forgotten them. Hercules was almost dried off as he reached them. He slid across the loose earth as he sighted the pile of loose earth and rock and guessed he'd found the location.

"So what do we do?" Iolaus stood by him. "Dig them out?"

"No," Hercules looked around. "It'd just cave in again." He looked around trying to figure out what to do. He wanted a shaft, something like a hollow tree; he glanced back to the town down from the caves and tried to think. He saw the brass marker dedicated to Helios the sun god and ran up to as he slowed and rapped it twice.

"Hollow," He mumbled to himself as he began hoisting it. "Excuse me, Helios, but I'll have it back in a minute." He tilted it down and knocked off the top. Iolaus gently ushered the mothers out of the way as Hercules took a running start and jabbed the soft earth. Pushing the thing through was harder than he thought.

"Iolaus, your turn." He called over to his buddy.

"What am I to do?" Iolaus looked back at him.

"Watch out for the bottom." Hercules slid him down through the shaft. There was a large updraft of smoke as Iolaus hit bottom and broke into the cave. Voices echoed back up the hollow marker as boys started crawling up. The mothers cheered at the resourcefulness that Hercules possessed.

"Here you go, boys," Hercules lifted the first young man out. The youth beamed with a dirty face and ran down to his mother. Behind him, he friends were being pulled out and rescued one at a time by Hercules.

"Hey, mom," He sniffed a bit as Iolaus pushed another one up and out. "Look what I found in the cave. Colored marbles. They glow in the dark!"

"I'll make you glow in the dark!"

CHAPTER TWO

There was a reason that mortals called the Olympians gods. They were taller, stronger and usually more perfect than human. They were also made of a much sterner stuff than mortal bone and sinew, but that did not stop them from becoming bored or irritable. Ares was often both. He refused to grow plants to pass the time like his Aunt Demeter or to sing and dance like the Muses. He didn't hang out with Apollo chasing girls or exploring the wonders of the ocean with Nereus. He found his fun by other means. He trashed the cherished mementos of those less powerful than him.

"Pull!!" Ares screamed as Pan launched one of Discord's keepsakes into the air by slingshot. The goat-god laughed and chuckled as he blasted each piece into oblivion.

"Pull!!" Ares screamed again as Pan launched a familiar gift from the Valkyries. Another lightning bolt and it was reduced to a burning piece of pewter.

"Pull!!!" Ares shot a bolt at the chalice that their mother had given Discord. That was the most ugly piece in the collection.

A waft of smoke and a flash of light, Discord appeared half interested in what was going on. She looked around and recognized this room as her own and slowly noticed the empty shelves. She dropped her jaw in disgust.

"Pull!!!" Ares screamed again as Discord recognized the coral spear that Amphitrite had given her. Her eyes turned to flame and her breath steamed as the fires of vengeance stirred in her violent stony heart.

"What do you think you're doing?!!" The brunette spitfire screamed.

"Amusing ourselves." Pan grinned jovially and honestly as he picked up her gift from the Russian gods. It was a war-blade they called Skin-scraper and it was particularly lethal if she ever got to use it. Instead, her rage began charging through her body as she grabbed it and squeezed it to her chest to protect it.

"If I told you once," She screamed for a change as Ares looked back at her disinterestingly. "I've told you a million times!!! Never touch my things!!!!!"

"Get an afterlife." Ares mumbled and grabbed the Skin-scraper. Discord clung to it hard with every fiber of her being as she felt something else entering her head. It felt like a shift in her personality and desires as she lost interest in her brother's cruel torture. She blinked her eyes and looked around trying to realize where she was.

"Aww, come on," Ares peered back at her. "At least act interested. It's so much more funnier when you care about your junk."

"What?" Discord felt her heart beating as she looked back at him. Her desire to strike him into a roach was not as strong as it once was. She turned on her heel and slightly stumbled. Recatching her step, she headed down the corridor past the Horae watching her and turned to Aphrodite's quarters. The goddesses of season whispered something about her being drunk on something Dionysus had whipped up.

"We go boom again?" Pan asked Ares.

"No," Ares tossed the Russian weapon aside. "Let's see what crap Apollo has we can blow up..........."

CHAPTER THREE

The messenger galloped hard into Megara after hearing that Hercules was there from the people in Athens. His noble steed with the royal crest on its saddle and ran the journey almost non-stop as it skidded to a stop near the meager riverbed and the water being stopped in it. The messenger scanned the faces of the men strengthening the dam.

"Hercules," The young man dropped down. "Your brother, King Iphicles of Corinth, sent me to retrieve you."

"You once said something about disasters following us." Hercules looked to Iolaus. "What's up?"

"Something strange." The young man drank water from his flask. He even started to fill it up from the dam, but Iolaus stopped him and looked toward one of the villagers adjusting his belt.

"How strange?" Iolaus asked.

"Discord has taken over Aphrodite's temple." The young man introduced himself. "My name's Galen and I was supposed to take you back to help. The whole city's scared to do anything."

"Discord." Hercules mumbled the name under breath as he waded out to head to meet his mortal half-brother. "What's that little psycho up to now?"

"Oh my big brother!!!!" Discord's voice erupted from beyond time and space just before she erupted into view. A flash of light erupting with rose petals, the once stern harpy appeared bubbly and gay in a flowing white robe. Her dark hair was curly and vivacious as she giggled and cooed. Her white skin was rosy and perfect as she walked with the sound of birds singing around her.

"Discord??" Hercules and Iolaus froze in her presence.

"Discord?" She giggled again. "Call me Eris, goddess of love, beauty and sexuality." She shook her hips with a giggle and raised her arms in a cocky little tease. "Iolaus, you get handsomer every time I see you." She grabbed his butt as he screamed.

"Discord," Hercules smirked amusingly as Galen stood transfixed. "What are you up to?"

"Eris," The brunette sexpot corrected him with a giggle. "It's just one letter off from Eros. I just discovered that this is the real me! Oooooooooo, and I like it!!!" She shook her body again and hugged Iolaus as her hand groped him.

"Hello!!!" Iolaus squirmed loose nervously. He had been forced to fear her and now she was starving for sex and romance.

"And Aphrodite's fine with this?" Hercules asked.

"No, I'm not!!!" Aphrodite popped into view in Discord's leather costume, but she wasn't her usual happy or cheerful. It was obvious something had switched their personalities but not their memories as the former goddess of love frowned on her half-sister. Hercules and Iolaus rolled their eyes in disbelief.

"You took my temple and I want it back!!!" She snarled and threw several lightning bolts. Hercules jumped to protect Galen and Discord shrieked adorably and teleported out of sight. Aphrodite growled as Hercules jumped up and confronted her.

"Dite!!" He called her by her nickname. "Get a hold of yourself! What's going on?!!"

"Keep out of this!!!" She snarled uncharacteristically. "No one touches the goddess of war!!!"

"How about me?" Ares now popped in. He was still his usual self as he marveled at the way Discord's attire now fit her. "You are going to cut out this masquerade and go back to being annoying. You got it."

Aphrodite kneed him in the groin as he dropped to her knees. Iolaus cringed at the sight as villagers watched the spectacle from a far. The former love-goddess vanished in pursuit of the new love-goddess.

"Something's up." Ares sounded like a faerie with his shrill voice. "Look, Herc, I know we've never got along..." His voice returned. "But... something going on. We got to get to the bottom of this."

"I agree." Hercules looked around. "It's.......... disturbing. I'll head to Corinth and see what I can learn there. You check with your usual cronies, Loki, Nergal, Skanda... See if they're behind anything."

"Right." Ares started to blink out. He became invisible then transparent as he returned back to normal. "Aw, great. Now I'm losing my powers! What else could happen to me?!!!"

CHAPTER FOUR

King Iphicles stared at what was once a statue of Aphrodite carved out of gold. It was now a statue of a very sensual Discord carved out of silver. The figure seemed to be smiling and reaching her arms up over her head ready to embrace the first one foolish enough to come close to it. He couldn't bear to stare at the weird likeness yet he couldn't look away. He just rolled his eyes back and toward it trying to understand it as he waited for his half-brother to arrive.

"You majesty," Galen, his messenger, returned. "Your brother."

"Hercules, Iolaus…" Iphicles turned to the Son of Zeus. "Thank the gods you are here. Would you look at this? Can you make sense of it?!"

"It's a good likeness." Hercules raised an amused eyebrow.

"Her breasts aren't that big." Iolaus's eyes wandered as Hercules and Iphicles shot looks at him. He noticed their glances. "What?!!"

"Go look around." Hercules told him as Iolaus broke a dirty grin and stole another look. He headed out as his buddy turned back. "Uhhh, I don't know what to tell you." Hercules continued. "What do the priests think?"

"They don't know anything." Iphicles led the way through the temple as more and more images of Discord appeared in places all over the temple. "It all happened in seconds. Hercules, Aphrodite is one of our matron gods. I do not want my city to be corrupted as Sparta was under Ares."

"I think we're missing a bigger picture." Hercules gazed at the new fresco. Aphrodite rising out of the sea on a seashell was now Discord rising up on a wave.

"I think something has affected Discord and this is the side result." He continued.

"A shift in reality?" Iphicles thought.

"Or something like that..."

"Hercules!!!" Iolaus rushed in. He skidded to a stop and admired the fresco.

"What is it?" Hercules blocked his view. "Discord?"

"She's got company this time!"

Discord and Artemis were outside on the pavilion. The former goddess of mischief was chasing and goosing guys in the square as Artemis followed in her habits. All her oaths of celibacy seemed to be off as the two of them joined forces to chase guys.

"What's a matter?" Artemis yelled as a guy fled to the presence of his wife. "Am I too much goddess for you?!"

"Oh boy...." Hercules sighted the spectacle and ran interference. "Artemis, Dis.... I mean, Eris. What are you doing?"

"Hercules!!!" The blonde goddess beamed and landed in her brother's arms. "I know you got some hot looking guys to fix me up with!"

"Oh boy..."

"Iolaus...." Discord grinned sex-starved as she eyed Iolaus. Hercules's buddy could barely stand being near her as he bolted down the courtyard with her in hot pursuit.

"What about your vow of celibacy?" Hercules dropped her to her feet.

"Screw that!!!" The goddess leered at a guy who recognized her look and took off in fear. "As goddess of frivolity, I want to party!!!!"

"Frivolity?!" Iphicles looked at her. "You're one of our matron goddesses. What about our city?"

"What about me?" Artemis sounded as self-centered as her twin brother Apollo. Hercules and Iphicles looked at each other as a burst of light exploded not far from them. Ares appeared wholly normal if not disconcerted.

"It took all my power to get here!" He griped a second. "Let me guess," He looked them over. "She's changed too?"

"Yeah," Hercules held her arm. "Keep an eye on her. Don't lose her or anything."

"Give me some credit!" Ares rolled his eyes. "I am the god of the hunt... war!"

"Uh huh." Hercules noticed Discord jumping and landing Iolaus at the end of an alley as he rushed to the rescue. "I think I see a pattern."

"Pattern?" Iphicles followed behind.

"Eris becomes Aphrodite," Hercules lifted Discord up as she jerked on Iolaus's pants.

"Hey!" The brunette vixen shrieked. "Can't you see we want some privacy?!!!"

"Aphrodite becomes Ares, Ares becomes Artemis, Artemis becomes Apollo..." Hercules hung Discord over his shoulder.

"Herc, bro!!" Discord smiled a bit. "This is kinky, but I'm not into incest... I think…"

"This is getting..." Iphicles started.

"Disturbing." Iolaus pulled his pants back up.

CHAPTER FIVE

No one had ever seen an immortal get inebriated. The bartender wondered if things had become desperate on Mount Olympus as Apollo ordered round after round of beer, ale and wine. Someone thought he'd become the god of intoxication as he poured the wines of tender grapes.

"And here's..........." Apollo thought for a minute. "To the gods of the sea! And every curvaceous mermaid among them!!!" He lifted the bottle to his lips as Hercules skidded into view outside the tavern. It was a long run to Delphi from Corinth, but apparently the rumor was true. The god of light was now the god of wine as the former prince of Olympus savored the drink made from grapes.

"Hercules!!!" Apollo staggered round. "A round for my favorite brother, the future god of heroes!!!!!"

"Yeah," Hercules backed from Apollo's breath. "Whoa!!! Let me guess, god of wine?"

"Haven't I always?!" Apollo climbed over the bar for the bottles and crashed to the floor. Rolling his eyes, the bartender continued rolling his eyes than stop him.

"There goes Dionysus." Iolaus mumbled behind Hercules quite a bit out of breath. Corinth was quite a distance to from Delphi, Apollo's patron city and the site of his temple. A flash of light and smoke, and the former wine god appeared dressed in laurel leaves.

"Someone call?" He asked looking around. If Ares resembled Iphicles, then Dionysus definitely resembled Salmoneus. He wasn't grinning and beaming with gleeful abandon as he once did. He was acting very regal and sure of himself as he rose an eyebrow at Apollo's drunken binge.

"Dionysus," Hercules looked him over. "Are you all right?"

"Of course I am, my most honorable brother," Dionysus grinned proudly to be Hercules's brother then turned to his other brother. "Apollo, there is a wise Chin alive named Confucius and he says that wine shall never take the place of a good scroll."

"Show me one person who can drink a scroll." Apollo stopped a second from tilting back his bottle. At the sight of the two of them, Iolaus rolled his eyes, turned to the doorway and stretched his back.

"Herc," He motioned to his best friend and whispered. "I think he's god of wisdom now, and I'm not running all the way to Athens to check on Athena who by now is probably trolling for guys with Discord and Artemis."

"I'll tell you," Hercules lead Iolaus out of the tavern and to the square overlooking the craggy cliff. "I have no idea what is going on? Ares I can handle, but............... how do I tell them to start acting normal?"

"They're your relatives!"

"As if that's something to be proud of??"

"Hercules!!!" Another familiar voice echoed from time and space. A brief crack of thunder and a lightning bolt erupted and Zeus himself appeared. His reddish-brown hair a bit askew from the breeze whipped up in his wake, his eyes danced with the spark of the womanizer he actually was. He appeared entirely normal for the moment.

"It just got worse." Hercules turned from his estranged father a second as Iolaus stood in fear of the old Titan killer. Gasping a bit, the slayer of the Hydra turned back to his father and didn't seem the least impressed.

"Hercules," The King of the Olympian Gods advanced on his favorite son. "I get back from an outing with the immortals of the Hindi and I find Olympus in a state of disarray. What is going on here?"

"I have no idea." Hercules admitted truthfully. "Something or someone has set up some sort of domino effect through the gods that has them swapping personalities and domains."

"You have to get to the bottom of it."

"Me??" Hercules grinned and chuckled a second. "Why can't you do it? What have the gods done for me lately?"

"Hercules," The thunder cracked with Zeus's temper. "We are your only family. You have to find out what has happened to the Ouranus Stones."

"Ouranus Stones?" Iolaus rolled his eyes and scratched his head. "I never heard of those. Are they like Chronos Stones?"

"I've heard of them." Hercules looked back to him. "Athena referred to them once. But what would they have to do with the gods?"

"They were a gift from the Cabeiri, the original Fates, to my father back when he was content to just being a god of time." Zeus turned and looked almost reflective as he looked out over the sea. "They take the role of the threads of destiny the Fates use on mortals, but they preserve the lives of gods. One comes into being for every of the gods born to Olympus, but my father hid them when he decided to overthrow his father. Someone must have found them."

"Yikes!" Iolaus turned round and stared to the wall of the square.

"Well," Hercules stared briefly to his father. "So far, the effect is limited to just my brothers and sisters. If it should extend to..."

Zeus seemed to notice something on the horizon. On the far shore leading down to Elis, the sea started to churn more destructive and violent before as they beat upon the craggy cliff into thick white foam. The golden tips of Poseidon's trident broke the surface gripped by a different hand. It was not Poseidon rising from the depths. It was the shapely form of Athena in a watery form as she now controlled the depths of ocean and the storm of the sea. Her hair turned to a spray of rain as she suddenly turned toward the shore of Delphi and acknowledged her father. Zeus silently grumbled as her power now rivaled his own.

"Here's where it gets interesting..." The son of Cronus and Rhea scratched his beard.

CHAPTER SIX

Hades ducked and skidded behind his throne to hide as his beloved Persephone strutted through his home in armor and attire more befitting Discord. The former goddess of spring was carrying a torch of hellfire in her bare hand to throw at him.

"Persephone, my wife." He cowered from her. "Are you possessed by Eriskegal or something?"

"Tartarus is not big enough for two lords of the dead!!!" She screamed as he just barely teleported out of the underworld. He rarely went to the realm of the living, but things were no longer happy in his marriage. He patted his smoking rear end as he looked up and saw his brother Zeus and his nephew Hercules outside the Delphi city limits. He gasped for relief as he stood straight up and tried to resume his decorum.

"What is going on here?" Hades marched up to him. "Thanatos has gone fishing, Styx has left her river to go exploring and my judges, those accursed sons of yours you wanted me to give jobs to, are playing cards with Charon. You want to explain something?"

"The Ouranus stones are missing." Hercules admitted. "You wouldn't by any chance know where Cronus hid them."

"How would I know that?" Hades snapped back. "I wasn't exactly fond of our father."

"Don't look at me." Zeus saw the look on Hercules. "I didn't even like going into the bathroom after him."

"Great." Hercules circled his estranged father and brooding uncle. "You two are the only ones who actually were alive when he was, and you don't know where he hid them?" He sighed disgustedly a second. "Well, it had to have been somewhere where no cities existed yet."

"Good reasoning." Zeus thought.

"Oh yeah," Hades grinned like a snake. "And there's only been one popping up every thirty days for the last two thousand years! I mean, what am I going to do if I'm no longer god of the dead?" Hades stopped and calmed as if he was thinking. "Although farming's looking interesting right now…"

"There goes Demeter." Hercules turned to his father.

"Hercules," Zeus suddenly had a thought. "My father often tossed stones into the sea near Megara when he was bored. Maybe he tossed the stones there."

"Yeah," Hercules thought a minute. "But the sea has retreated and the land changed a lot since those days." He suddenly thought of the boys he rescued from the cave. "Glowing marbles........... Oh, brother........."

CHAPTER SEVEN

"Hey!" One of the young boys of Megara looked again at his marbles from the cave. "The green one just changed brown!"

"Try and hit the pink........... It's blue now!!"

Hercules's half-god stamina was being pushed to the limit as he ran the seventeen miles back to Megara. Distracted with Athena's ego in conquering Olympus, Zeus had his hands full than to be nearby to help him. His conscience was bothering him as he raced around farmers saying hello without repeating the gesture, but he was in a hurry and the run was all uphill. He
jumped over the creek and skidded to a stop as he hit the square and scanned it for the boys. Through a break in the crowd, the five of them were still jostling and shaking the vibrations in the Ouranus Stones without knowing the consequences that they were doing. With his last breath, Hercules saw the one boy getting ready to throw his last marbles to the dust. He took a running start and jumped to catch them. Time seemed to slow as he stretched out to catch them from hitting each other again. The Son of Zeus slid the twenty feet through the square as his hand just barely caught the glowing stone at the last second.

"Hey, Herc!" The boy grinned to see him again. "What's up? You like marbles too!"

"Yeah," Hercules coughed from the dust. "But the owner of these wants them back." He counted the twelve of them as he collected them: one for each of the main gods of Olympus. He gasped a brief pause for relief.

"Boys," Zeus walked up pulling a cart as he pretended to be a merchant. "You don't want those balls." He pulled out five small bags for each of them. "Straight from the hills of Thessaly, they may not glow, but they do have pictures on them."

"Wow!" The young men saw pictures of nymphs, faeries, mermaids, satyrs, trolls and Cyclopes. "Thanks, Mister!!" They dropped and started playing more games as Hercules rolled the Ouranus stones into his father's cupped hands.

"Athena?" Hercules asked.

"Didn't feel a thing." Zeus rolled the balls into an enchanted adamantine chalice. "She tried to take me the same way my brother once tried, and I've got a good place for these too. I shudder to think if Ares or Discord got them." He held the chalice and gave all the balls a good charge of his own powers. A brief glow and all the balls changed color in unison.

"That's it?"

"That's it." Zeus beamed proudly to his son.

"Good." Hercules started to turn away then stopped and looked back. "Make sure they are really lost this time!!!"

CHAPTER EIGHT

Hades returned hesitantly to the underworld as Persephone sat in his throne. She broodly sternly upon it for a few seconds and then gazed upon him with love and rushed into his arms.

"I'm so sorry!" She apologized. "I don't know what made me act that way. I don't even know where I got this costume." She pulled her cape across her cleavage lifted high by her armored leather bustier.

"All is forgiven." Hades pulled her tight. "But keep the costume. It makes you look.......... darker."

Ares sniffed the rabbit roasted to perfection in front of him. It smelled great to him as Artemis watched him getting ready to eat it. She twisted in the bonds she was held in and watched Ares bite into one of the legs.

"Ares, did I ever mention how sexy you..........." She shook her head while her mind seemed to switch in polarity. "You killed one of my rabbits? Your ass is mine!!!" She began fighting to get loose.

"Oh crap," Ares spoke with a mouth full of roasted rabbit meat. The sick taste of the toasted rodent suddenly made him gag and spit it out as he wondered what was going on. Did he imagine it or did he call Hercules his best friend?

"Ares!!!" Artemis worked her way loose and grabbed her bow and arrow by Ares' side. She aimed her first arrow as the war-god glared at her and vanished with her in pursuit.

"Whoa!!!!" Galen gushed as Eris the goddess of love cooed up to him. He might have been messenger to King Iphicles but now he felt like he was a god. "I never did it with a goddess before!!!!"

"Thank you!" Eris cuddled up to him as her mind now reverted back to memories of being terrorized by her brothers and tossing the apple that cursed the marriage of Peirithous and Hippodameia. She took a moment to gather her bearings, slowly realized she was not wearing anything and then found herself in bed next to a grinning mortal man. Her voice caught in her throat while she found herself wanting to scream. She slowly scooted back gripping the blanket as she looked around and tried to remember what she was doing here.

"Eris, my beloved," Galen looked at her. "What is the matter?"

"The name is Discord!!!!" She hissed in shock. "And this........... Never................. Happened!!!" She blinked out in a fiery blaze. A second later, she blinked back to Galen looking upon her very confused.

"And if I have a kid," She growled. "I'm going to come back, AND JAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!!"
Galen watched her vanish with his blanket. He sighed a bit as he turned to the heavens.

"Why does every girl who falls in love with me say that?!" He asked.

"At the last minute?" Iolaus and Hercules walked from Megara to Thebes for the art festival.

"The last minute." Hercules filled him in. "I handed them over, he zapped them and things went back to normal."

"Wow." Iolaus waved briefly to a passing merchant as the sun dropped on the horizon. "Those relatives of yours seem to have problems I never imagined."

"I wouldn't want the job." Hercules admitted as a burst of light welcomed them. Aphrodite stepped out of it in her long flowing white dress.

"Uh - Huh!!" She giggled with a twist. "Is it good to back to normal!!!"

"Dite," Hercules stopped as she joined her favorite brother and his best friend. Slipping between them and taking both their arms, she grinned happily content toward them. "You're alright?"

"Is it good to be out of Discord's little torture chamber!" She grinned. "It wasn't made for a full-figured girl!!!"

"I can imagine." Iolaus sneaked a peek at her figure.

"Oh, you loved having her chase you, didn't you?" The love-goddess turned with a flourish to him.

"No!"

"Tell the truth."

"No!" Iolaus watched Hercules fall quiet.

"You liked it..."

"No!" Iolaus looked over. "Herc?"

"Keep me out of it..............." He continued for Thebes.

END