Sorry for the delay you guys, but I was contemplating how to publish this chapter and decided to make a two part update. So I'll release the next one within the week.
LoveFiction2022: Thanks so much! I hope you like the scenes and interactions between them in this chapter too. Eager to hear your thoughts!
Ariel: Thanks! What else?
Buckysgirl: Awwwww, thank you 3
xx
- SSC.
I breathe you in
You are taking over
Got me open
Losing my composure
You know that I love it when
When you say my name
Pull me closer into you
Tell me that you'll stay
- High, Alina Baraz
December 19th, 2014.
The winter temperatures were difficult, and work was a lot scarcer but Bucky had taken the opportunity to plan ahead. He had an inkling he would be home a lot more toward the end of the year, considering the season.
However, he still had a few shifts that paid enough to keep their bellies full. Of course, some of their funds had to be spent on Joanna's need for several winter coats. He had to draw the line at faux fur, the price was almost as much as real fur.
He jokingly offered to go skin a wolf for her, if that satisfied her need for such luxuries. But Joanna drew the line on animal cruelty, which was baffling to him.
Wolves are pretty much dogs and we love dogs in this household.
Bucky had no animosity towards any animal, he didn't even know if he had a favorite per se. Dogs sounded like too much drama, as loyal as their companionship was, they were also loud.
Then he supposed, having lived with Joanna long enough, the noise was something he has grown accustomed to.
Joanna, however, was not accustomed to still being indoors despite technically no longer being in isolation. Even though he always returned to her being home, from her slightly wet jacket that was hung on the neighboring peg by the entrance. He knew she had been out, exploring the region.
He was a little curious and mildly concerned about what she was up to during her time outdoors, alone. But Joanna was always candid, told him before he even asked, excited to tell him about her day.
He liked coming home and listening to her daily travels, she was always so witty and entertaining, there was never a dull day. Even times when they were home, the quiet was peaceful and Joanna always found ways to keep herself busy.
Bucky was making breakfast that morning. A simple English one, he was currently waiting for their sausages to finish frying. Joanna was idling by the counter, remaining patiently for him to finish. He was aiming fond glances her way, noticing how pensive she was.
Joanna was rarely quiet unless she was immersed in her music or some social media content on her phone. But when she was, it was usually because she was deliberating something internally.
Bucky found the way her lips twisted in contemplation, or the slight wrinkling of the skin between her brows in deep deliberation, positively adorable. She decided to sit down on the vacant bar stool, bringing her elbows up to the flat countertop. Bucky was busying himself by transferring their sausages onto individual plates when she spoke up.
"Do you think we should both get jobs?" Joanna asked. He blinked, not expecting the question. He looked at her, Joanna's dark brows were arched up eagerly, anticipating his response. Bucky wondered if he would ever be accustomed to being asked about his opinion. He had felt like such a phantom of society that he never thought about how surprising it would be, to be asked for advice.
"Probably should, to keep up appearances as law-abiding citizens." He expressed calmly flashing her a smile. He returned the hot plate by its handle back to the dormant stove. Joanna nodded in agreement, even though the presence of the cooked food had mildly distracted her.
Bucky continued to smile faintly in her direction as he arranged several slices of toast on a separate plate for them to take. He quickly sidestepped to retrieve their cutlery. Joanna was waiting with that impatient tick shaking her leg. Yet she did not utter a word of urgency to him and waited good-naturedly for him to join her at the table.
The moment Bucky sat down and passed her a fork and knife, she dug in, eagerly ripping into the bullseye egg and spilling orange yolk all over her white plate. Her boyfriend was a lot more mannered in comparison, but he supposed he was less ravenous too. Joanna had gotten into the habit of smoking a joint in the morning time. She called it, wake and bake, and he blamed the munchies.
Bucky opted to have a sip of his coffee first. He liked the short buzz of energy, he never thought he would be a coffee guy but then again. He glanced subtly in Joanna's direction, she was munching on a piece of sausage impaled on the points of her fork. His interests had returned and evolved in her presence.
"Did you have a look in the papers?" Joanna suddenly asked, meeting his stare. Her expression was somewhat pessimistic as if she didn't want to bring it up. But he knew she never shied away from addressing the elephant in the room, and would probably prefer to point fingers and question everything. However, she also liked returning home to him more often, she wasn't complaining about his lack of work in the past month.
"There are a few construction jobs." He responded conversationally, returning the mug to the tabletop, beside his untouched plate of food.
"No paperwork, just in need of muscle." He added in a nonchalant tone while picking up his cutlery.
"Well that you certainly have and more." Joanna joked while eyeing his exposed arms shamelessly.
"Won't your super strength be a bit of a factor?"
Joanna observed the way the man seemed to straighten his posture as he ate. His broad torso made the bench he sat on seem exceedingly small. Yet he was handling his food delicately, she found it rather funny, what a contrast his table manners were from his large, lethal form.
"I can be subtle." He remarked, cutting into a slice of bread before directing her, a wry look.
"Can you?"
"What does that mean?" Joanna responded her posture stiffening under the omniscient glint in his crystal blue eyes. Bucky's handsome features relaxed, unimpressed by her blameless tone. Joanna held his gaze evenly, still uncomprehending his meaning.
"You fix one heater and now, you are the building handyman." He reminded bluntly and Joanna's face instantly softened in sheepish remorse.
The incident Bucky was referring to was what had transpired between Joanna and their pink-haired neighbor. Ever since she had mended the ancient heater, and Andrei's inquisition over Joanna's abilities. She had been their own personal handyman. Bucky was annoyed by the constant beckons and appearance of the blue and rosy-haired adults at his door, grinning from ear to ear, cradling some modern contraption in their arms, and asking for Joanna.
"Yeah, I didn't handle that well, did I?" Joanna confessed wincingly while munching on a sausage. "I am not used to chatty neighbors."
Thankfully, the two were mostly chatty with Joanna and him. He was glad word hadn't spread about Joanna's talents, he felt partially guilty too for indulging the sociable new acquaintances.
One peaceful morning, while he was making breakfast, he was reminded of his mother. He remembered her generosity, telling him as a young man that it was impolite to go to a neighbor's home without some form of offering, like her famous apple pie. Steve had always been a huge fan of the recipe.
He wanted to honor her memory by returning Maria's kind gesture of biscuits by making something he didn't have to bake, to be a hospitable neighbor. He had made spaghetti, meatballs, and garlic bread one night, packed them their servings, and asked Joanna to deliver the goods. Joanna had seen an opportunity in teaching Bucky to be more sociable and insisted they both go.
Bucky had reluctantly agreed and as soon as they had passed the food, he retreated back to the apartment in quick strides with Joanna whistling merrily in pursuit.
The praise he received the morning after was the most honeyed yet awkward interaction. He didn't think it was that amazing and mostly assumed they were just being nice. But then they started hovering around their front door, like vultures gliding over a carcass, wondering what Bucky was cooking whenever they ran into Joanna down the hall.
He knew from the nervous energy around him that they itched to make more conversation with the man. But his naturally menacing disposition and grim expression delayed them with caution.
Bucky couldn't help how his face looked, considering he spent most of his time wearing a mask that hid how miserable he truly was. He supposed his face had adapted to be a default stern, not that he felt just as glum as he did then.
He wondered why his face never seemed to extinguish Joanna's enthusiasm toward him. If anything, he felt like the harder he frowned the chattier she became, as if encouraged by it.
"They seem to have a lot of energy," Bucky grumbled, his lips pressed closely as he chewed.
"Kids, am I right?" Joanna laughed directing him a wicked smile.
"You are literally their age." He stated bluntly, she slanted him a frown and a wide roll of her eyes.
"Oh, sorry grandpa, didn't realize my youth was making you sour about your lack of."
It was now Bucky's turn to sneer and narrowed his eyes playfully at Joanna who beamed back, with an annoyingly adorable lift of her chin.
"Brat." He muttered and lowered his attention back to his food, mildly peeved but mostly amused by her comeback. Joanna's victorious grin was hard to ignore so he focused on eating. His girlfriend was already done with her meal and leaned back into her seat while wiping her hands on a napkin.
The mulling notion in the slight crinkling of her brows and pout on her lips indicated to him that she was once again, contemplating something. He watched her slyly, entertained by her expressive face.
"Maybe I can make myself busy by solving this shitty landlord issue?" Joanna mused out loud, meditatively crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back into her seat. Bucky tensed, mid-taking a bit of his toast. His large bewildered gaze snapped to his girlfriend. His pulse raced, seeing that familiar plotting smolder in her dark eyes.
"Jo, don't." He warned, and she lazily cast him a glance.
"Why not?" She asked her face tilted to the side, her dark-winged brows raised up expectantly.
"You have a hero complex." He stated factually. Joanna blinked, stunned by the term directed at her before a crooked smile full of laughing disbelief stretched across her pretty face.
"Excuse me?" She countered, hoping she had misheard the man. Hero-complex? She had never heard anything so bizarre. Joanna never considered herself to be a hero, not in her profession or way of life. Joanna knew she wasn't a saint, having weaved plenty of webs full of deceit and murder that served her a purpose.
She may not have always enjoyed it, but she knew she was trying to be better, but realistically, she wasn't a hero.
"I've seen this in Steve." Bucky continued on, unaware of the puzzlement he had struck in her. The man was now comparing her to Captain Dreamboat America, the savior of a nation and hero in all supposed ways.
Bucky didn't seem to find the comparison wonderous or odd, his grumpy expression signaled to her that he found the similarity rather exasperating.
"You just can't let things be." He uttered irritably. Joanna froze, unable to argue with such a conclusion. It dawned on her that the comparison he was making was Steve's inability to not meddle.
"Let what things be exactly?" Joanna inquired softly, desiring to hear more thoughts of the usually quiet, solider.
"Shitty living conditions?"
Joanna had to admit, she rather enjoyed listening to his reminiscent musings. The man was stripped of his past and identity for so long. Even when the comparison to his best friend sounded outlandish to her, it was pleasant to hear some reminiscence from the man. She always wanted to know everything she could about him.
"No, you just can't help and try to solve a problem." He added in a grumbling tone, his voice mildly muffled by the food he ate through pressed lips. "Sometimes solving problems just makes it that much bigger, putting us in a more vulnerable situation."
Joanna was snagged under the pleading sentiment in his crystal blue eyes, as he searched her own with an uneasy wariness. The femme fatale felt like her heart was melting, trickling down her insides to her stomach, pooling her with warmth and tenderness. It was unbecoming, how just a wordless, doe-eyed gaze from him made all her defenses crumble.
The man really was silent and lethal, in more than just the espionage category. But, she also saw his reasoning. Bucky was afraid to lose what they had, they were happy, and at peace, even if their life was mundane, it was theirs and he didn't want to risk it.
"You drive a hard truth, Bucko," Joanna murmured feigning defeat even though she was giddy over their shared sentiments.
"Fine, I subject." Joanna subjugated with an amiable recline of her head.
She saw the obvious relief in his guarded stare that transformed into a twinkling blue. His grim expression eased with a shy smile he directed at her.
"Thank you." He said softly. Joanna beamed, unable to resist the urges of the cute aggression he coaxed within her. She reached over the short corner of wood between them and cupped his face in her hands.
Bucky gaped, not expecting the abrupt affection, and steadied his elbows on the edge of the table, as her face drew close. His eyelids fluttered shut instinctively at the press of her warm lips to his temple. He felt a jolt of affection squeeze his heart, still unaccustomed to Joanna's bursts of love, but it happened often enough, which was why his body relaxed quickly.
His hands were still occupied, gripping his cutlery, which restrained him from slapping away Joanna's hands that pinched at his cheeks. He rolled his eyes heavenward as Joanna continued to dote on him like he was a child, squishing his face between her hands and grinning like a smitten fool.
He knew if it was anyone else, he found to find this type of devotion rather demeaning but he didn't mind when it was her. Joanna had petted his head or disheveled his hair out of affection many times, despite his scowling, he never rejected receiving such love.
Joanna eventually released him and sat back on her chair while gazing forward, her dark eyes glittering in renewed spirit.
"But I do need a job." She chimed in, glancing towards their mattress and single couch on her left.
"We need to get some more furniture in here, cement blocks don't exactly count as adequate seating. But it does work well for other misdeeds." She added directing him a playful wink. Bucky smiled secretively to himself, his gaze lowered to his plate, recalling the misdeeds she was referring to in a fond inkling.
"We could start a piggy bank." He mused in response to her suggestion.
"How domestic," Joanna muttered smiling at him. "I think I'm going to look through the papers, see what's out there."
"Remember, nothing extravagant."
"Yes, your lordship."
Bucky took his time finishing his meal and he wasn't very happy to find the sink stacked with dishes from the night before. Regardless, he washed his plate and placed it on the rack before turning to acknowledge Joanna.
His girlfriend was still seated at their breakfast counter. She had both her elbows on the flat top, her fingers buried into the roots of her hair as she glared down at the folded newspaper on the table. The pink highlighter pen she was using was discarded to the counter, her expression was tense in a contemplative frown.
Bucky reached her side in a few quick strides, reaching for the hand towel by the stove, he began to dry his hands.
"Find anything?" He asked curiously, amused by her frustration.
"Can you believe I actually miss being a spy?" She grumbled pushing aside the newspaper with an irritated thrust and leaning back to regard him. "Being normal is so fucking boring, and the pay is shit. I mean look at this!"
He coolly glanced at the newspaper to the ad she was indicating, circled by a thick ring of neon pink. He read the text calmly while returning to his seat beside her.
"That's just exploitation." She exclaimed in clear outrage at the demarcated salary that was mentioned in the advert. Bucky found it laughable, how bothered she was by the smallest things. Joanna seemed to have a rather clear sense of morals when it came to occupation. Bucky on the other hand wasn't surprised by the wage issues in Romania, considering the country's many financial crises. Most people who were lucky enough to find work were just scraping by, the only relief they seemed to have was the lack of children to feed.
Though he supposed, from the way Joanna ate, it would equal having five members in a household. He kept the joke to himself and regarded her again.
"You wanna go face the employment bureau?" He suggested sardonically, folding his muscular arms over the counter, and fixing his gleaming blue stare on the female.
"Fix their shit?"
Joanna looked at him, her black eyes smoldering in appreciation. The man was being so bold and sassier than usual, she loved the challenge. She recalled how he would shy away when he couldn't help that little rebellious urge in him to bite back. Their dynamics were very different now, but she liked how he stared back plainly, his stare sparkling excitedly, eager to banter.
"I would but my boyfriend is kinda being anal about my whole hero complex-o." Joanna responded drily, flashing him a sarcastic grin. "I need to find something inconspicuous, and doesn't require much paperwork or include a clause to consume cyanide."
Bucky snorted, grinning wide, tickled by her witty yet mocking reminder of HYDRA's nefarious practices. He liked that she was so cerebral, finding humor in instances where he thought there was none. There was clarity in the acknowledgment too, like HYDRA wasn't something they had to avoid speaking on or gloss over entirely.
"Construction, I have dibs on and that is no place for a woman." He insisted glancing furtively at the paper between them.
"They would say the same thing about espionage," Joanna noted with an offending lift of her chin.
"Women are perfect for espionage," James whispered slyly, his stare narrowing down at his girlfriend. "So good at using their feminine charm to distract from their evil ploys."
Joanna tensed under the disapproving glow of his gaze and snide comment. She smiled sheepishly knowing exactly what his cutting stare was alluding to. She acknowledged the obvious pile of dirty dishes she spotted in the sink, over his wide stance.
"Are you still mad about last night?"
Bucky's scowl deepened, critical of her innocent tone. Joanna bit her lip, determined not to laugh despite how utterly hilarious she found his stern look to be. She didn't know why it was such a reaction in her to laugh in tense situations, but nothing enthused her more than the brooding soldier.
She tried her best to coax a smile out of him by being her cheeky self, but the man refused to budge. Unyielding and refusing to be charmed by the way Joanna batted her eyelashes up at him, feigning virtue.
The woman was infuriating, especially in the way she continued to beam at him like a simpleton, threatening to disarm him of his annoyance. He refused to be submitted, especially as he had unwillingly done the night before. Bucky didn't blame himself the woman was cunning to the extreme and he hadn't anticipated her attack.
Mainly because it was veiled in sex and distraction. That night, after dinner he had excused himself to the bathroom, when he returned Joanna was naked and standing on the mattress and smiling wickedly.
He was taken aback at first, but with a few seductive caresses from her end and lusty words, paired with that gorgeous body full of ripe curves for him to touch. He had lost all sense of rational thought and drifted into the warmth and bliss she so generously provided. But in the morning after, he realized the intentions in her tactics and he felt like an utter fool.
"You distracted me from noticing the dirty dishes." He reminded her critically. "Which I had asked you to wash."
"Yeah, but you weren't exactly objecting." Joanna countered with a jaunty wink. Bucky bristled and her smile only lengthened, delighted by his annoyance. He took a deep breath, refusing to lose his cool, knowing it was exactly what she wanted.
It was another ploy, if they were arguing then she didn't have to do the dishes and Bucky refused to submit to such childishness. He felt the familiar spasming of the thin muscle over his left brow.
"You are washing the dishes, we made a deal." He reminded, hoping that her honorable side would be more negotiable.
"Isn't that what a dishwasher is for?"
He huffed, rolling his eyes heavenward, praying for patience before looking at her again. Joanna was still grinning impishly, not remorseful in the slightest, only wickedly entertained. He continued to glare at her, seething silently, his lips pressed down to a thin, tight line.
They were in a short, yet intense, staring battle. Joanna's eyes were glimmering with playful fancy and Bucky was trying his best to seem unimpressed. But, surprisingly, Joanna conceded with a roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh from her lips.
"Fine, we made a deal." She confessed reluctantly. Bucky blinked, surprised at first, but then immediately grinned, happy to have won. Joanna was not as merry and was grumbling gibberish under her breath while leaning back into her seat. He watched with a fond adoration as she begrudgingly stood up, her hands firmly planted on the table, over the newspaper.
"Job as a dishwasher is definitely out of the question. It's bad enough I'm doing it for free right now." She uttered aiming daggers and a particular ad at the paper, then at him. Bucky wasn't threatened by her scorning looks, he was more aware of how she was loitering. Despite standing up she wasn't actually committing to walk to do her chore, purposefully dragging on a conversation just to waste time.
He shook his head in silent reprieve, wondering how HYDRA never caught on to Joanna's crafty ways.
"Maybe this can be one of your many uses for thumbtacks?" He rebutted smirking up at her.
"Excuse me?" Joanna hissed, nostrils flaring under the flash of vindictive annoyance she saw in his sapphire eyes.
"You distracted me then too." He reminded, his own gaze narrowing up at her. Joanna gawped in utter, scandalized shock. It was her turn to be infuriated and Bucky found great delight in her fuming reaction. He understood why Joanna enjoyed irritating people, there was a certain sense of sadistic power in catalyzing such a reaction.
He supposed he enjoyed it more because he knew Joanna would never react aggressively. She was aware it would be a hypocritical response, having seen her purposefully stir rage in Frankie and laugh, several times.
"I won that fair and square, you slept over." She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in torment while peering down at him with her large, black eyes, almost pleading for absolution. Bucky's chest hurt from suppressing his need to laugh. It was vexing how adorable she was when she was angry, but she had to know, he would never admit to such a defeat, verbally anyway.
"Did you wash the dishes?" He countered bluntly. Joanna's jaw slackened as if her mouth was ready to argue but her brain was still processing the blow of his rejoinder. He grinned seeing the seething defeat brewing in her dark eyes as she frowned mutely. He leaned back into his seat, his arms crossed over his chest in lordly arrogance.
"Typical Jo, never following through." He chided with a disappointed shake of his head. A sharp blast of air escaped her flared nostrils.
"Oh, I'll follow through." He stared with great amazement and wicked delight as she roughly stomped past him, toward the sink, muttering all the while. "Follow through like a shotgun."
Bucky was smiling privately, listening to the clattering of plates and gushing of water from the tap, as Joanna began to clean with great fury. He contently turned his attention to the newspaper and decided to read the headlines of the day and maybe the weather forecast too.
As he read, he was aware of the dull sounds of her previously rough handling of the plates. A calm, serene silence fell between the two and Bucky liked the peace in the household. It was amusing, how they would have short bursts of entertaining rows between them that faded into a harmonious silence.
He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Joanna was silently washing the dishes, her hands caked in suds and her black sweater already darkening with a patch of water. He rolled his eyes, the woman didn't have the sense to wear the apron, she really is a hot mess.
He eyed the side of her pretty face, scrunched in thought, mulling over something again.
Hot, being the keyword.
"Maybe I should do deliveries?" Joanna spoke up, dragging him out of his thoughts.
"Delivery?" He echoed, sitting up a little more straight on his seat like he wasn't just creepily eyeing his girlfriend.
"Yeah, I'll use a bicycle, God knows they have an abundance of those here and just deliver stuff." Joanna continued on, unaware of his leering and turning partly at the waist to face him.
"You know I'm perfect for that kinda job." She added with a proud raise of her chin and looked at him with a radiant smile.
Bucky smiled, finding her grinning at him utterly contagious. He contemplated her suggestion for a moment and it sounded harmless and mundane enough. Of course, he would have to insist on proper safety gear considering cars traveled on the same road, and the roads were wide enough for her to travel safely.
"Sounds good." He agreed, Joanna beamed shyly, abashed by his support.
"I'll chase that lead first thing tomorrow." She mused and continued on in her task, but then a few seconds passed and she suddenly gasped, grabbing his attention again.
"Ew, what the fuck is that?" She cried out, staring at something stuck to her wet hands and grimacing with great disgust.
"Is that a carrot?"
Bucky bit his lower lip, suppressing his urge to laugh at her misery, and coolly turned his attention back to the newspaper.
"I told you to wash it sooner." He warned, folding open the paper in a lackadaisical fashion and peering down at the small typeface.
"This is fucking nasty oh my God, I'm going to puke." Joanna gagged dramatically and Bucky hid his wicked grin behind the large paper and ignored her petulant wailing.
James found himself awake, for the third night over the same, serial nightmare. The dream started off ordinarily enough the first time. It was during his time as a Howling Commando. The situation was familiar, being perched up on a far-off hill, undercover with his rifle at hand. He was staring through the scope, aiming at something in the frosted mountain tops of a wilted forest.
In the first instance, he was hunting a deer which didn't leave much of a lasting impression, but then the second time, he was aiming at the Captain. The stark, familiar strips of blue-white, and red calmed him at first. He recognized Steve's charming smile, helmet on, saluting back at him, an amiable thanks for having his back. But then, what really jolted him awake, was the fact that he pulled the trigger regardless.
The phantom gunshot was echoing between his ears the second time he woke up, sweating into the sheets. He had to remind himself several times that Steve was still alive, he didn't kill him.
However, on the third night, he found himself aiming at Joanna and that's when the vision transformed into a horrifying recollection of events he did not want to remember.
He didn't know what possessed his mind to resurface the horror of having hurt his beloved but remembered what had happened. He lay awake for the longest time, staring up at the ceiling, breathing harshly and unable to calm his tormented soul.
When he managed to sit up on trembling limbs, it was more of a struggle than he thought, like his body hadn't fully awakened yet, petrified in dread. He glanced to his right, relieved to see Joanna's form, huddled beneath the sheets, turned away from him. Her light snoring echoed in the room and he found more comfort in the sound.
She was beside him and safe.
He knew he could no longer sleep and crawled over to the single-seater couch. He dragged his body over the cushions and heaved into an upright position. His legs were still strangely numb and his joints ached. But then, that familiar prickling sensation of pins and needles began to creep up his legs.
He sunk into the comfort of the seat, resting his arms on the padding he allowed himself a moment of calm, in the shadows of the dark room. The silence was peaceful, but his heart still raced. Every time his eye closed, more haunting memories would resurface and his chest would ache painfully.
The guilt over all the death he had caused was a burden, but the pain of knowing he had hurt the people he kept dear, was a woe he wouldn't wish on anyone. Bucky wished he could just accept Joanna's forgiveness and move past what had transpired, even momentarily living in the bliss of not remembering fully. But such notions were wishes that could never be granted.
A sudden rustling of sheets grabbed the attention of his tormented gaze. His pulse was racing, wary of the shadows, but the sound came from the bed. He looked in time to see Joanna rolling onto her side, facing him.
He froze, thinking she was stirring awake. But then his stiff shoulders relaxed at the sight of her serene expression, eyes closed and in deep slumber. As he stared longer, the voices grew louder. They were always unkind, telling him he wasn't good enough for her, others shared the same sentiments and he was nothing but a shadow over her summery smile. But the voices were never cruel to her.
He understood, after great reflection that the whispers were just his insecurities. He felt out of place and lost even when he had company. He wished he could just snap out of his misery, fake a smile, and return to bed but the idea of faking his enthusiasm was nauseating.
In the rush of his maddening thoughts, his ears picked up another sound, similar to a grunt. He looked at her again and Joanna was mumbling something in her sleep. It was nonsensical gibberish as usual, but in her slumber, her limbs were rolling into a more comfortable position.
He was momentarily distracted by witnessing her, hugging the swans down pillow to her chest as she laid face down, her head turned partly towards him. In her squirming Joanna had caused the plaid sheet to slip down her bare shoulders to her waist, exposing the naked curves of her torso to her boyfriend.
She slept, so unaware of the dark, predatory stare Bucky focused on her. The voices which were harsh and guttural began to dim to dull whispers the longer he stared, entranced by her. Joanna's face was the epitome of beautiful serenity. Her long inky lashes fanned over the high points of her cheekbones. His clear eyes, glowing in the shadows, tracked down her sharp nose, littered with light freckles, to her lips. Her mouth was soft, slightly parted but plump and tempting.
His stare moved further down, over the rolling hills of her curved body, eyeing the side glimpse of her breast a little longer than appropriate.
In his distraction he hadn't realized the voices were drowned out, he was far too enamored by the adorable disarray of her dark hair, sprawled over the mattress in her tight embrace of the pillow beneath.
He was a little envious, in between the lust that heated his body. Joanna was able to sleep so easily but, he did recall she was plagued by nightmares once. His mind wandered to the incident, unable to resist comparing his reaction with hers. In moments he chose to dwell in self-hatred and disgust, Joanna sought distraction, and maybe…that was what he needed.
He stroked the length of his lower lip in musing thought, his stare smoldering with wayward thoughts while continuously staring at her. Bucky had already tried the brooding, miserable approach many times before. It wasn't his first time sulking on the couch. Usually, he would have begun his day, unable to sleep but, the nightmares had been so repetitive.
He needed to forget, even if it was for a moment, just sated enough to fall asleep.
He needed her.
Bucky stared at his sleeping girlfriend in a long, searing moment. His pulse slammed in conflicted arousal before deciding, against his more considerate side, to disturb her peace.
His legs were back to normal and in all honesty, he had forgotten about the brief numbness as he lowered his knees to the floor. Then planting his hands on the ground, he slowly began to crawl over to her. His metal arm glinted mischievously in the soft glow from the window.
His shadow loomed over her unsuspecting form in a sinuous stretch of darkness. He admired the tone perfection of her back and reached out, unable to deny him the urge to feel her soft skin. She was warm, practically feverish which wasn't surprising, Joanna ran hot in the night.
The heat of her golden curves seemed to call to his blood, inviting more of his explorative caress. He stroked down the flowing line of her spine, his fingertips glided over her smooth skin as his eyes followed, then immediately stilled when he felt her squirm.
Bucky tensed, thinking he would receive an alarming reaction that he would have to defend himself. However, observing her face cautiously, Joanna wasn't reactive in the slightest. Her eyelids fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness for a second before looking at him.
Their gazes locked but he knew she was still sedated from her sleep, in the way she blinked bleary-eyed back at him. Her face was expressionless, studying his shadow in the night. Then her dark eyes suddenly sparkled in recognition before a soft, loving smile stretched at her lips.
"Hey, hun." She purred in that deliciously raspy tone that seemed hoarser in her wake. Bucky found himself leaning closer to her upper body, desiring to be closer to the vision of her lazy smile.
"Hi." He greeted back quietly, after a moment. Joanna's grin intensified as she slowly rolled onto her back and propped up partly onto the pillow. Bucky's attention shamelessly dropped to her exposed breasts, eyeing the sight of her erect nipples.
Joanna didn't seem to notice, her gaze was drifting across the room, searching for something with a confused wrinkling of her nose. She glanced at the radiator to their right before looking at him again. Bucky was snagged by her stare, glowing lovingly with a small impish smirk, pinched at the corners of her shapely mouth.
"Beefin' with the space heater again?" She teased with a curious lift of one dark-winged brow. He struggled to acknowledge her sly assumption or find the will in him to respond, when all he could stare at, was her mouth.
Joanna's smile dimmed in concern from his prolonged silence and quiet leering. She reached up and gently swept aside a lock of his sable hair before cupping the side of his jaw. His chiseled face softened as shuddering waves of bliss racked his body from her tender touch. Bucky's focus on her pink lips, hanging close, only intensified, his throat parched for a taste.
Her lips moved, and he knew she was about to ask about his well-being, but he didn't give her the chance. He claimed her mouth in a bold, hot kiss that shocked her.
Joanna was initially unresponsive, startled by his affection but he struggled to care when it felt so right. He moved closer, gathering her face into his trembling hands, and tasted her insistently. Then, as natural as breathing, Joanna thawed into his kiss. Her fingers moved up to clutch a fist full of his hair as he eased atop her.
Joanna welcomed him eagerly into her arms, curling her hands around his shoulders, digging into the tough muscles of his deltoids. But Bucky wanted more, he needed to be drowning in the heat of her, bathe in her warmth and be utterly lost in the pleasure and subsequently, forget everything else.
His hands stroked down her body in a fiery trail, pulling apart the obstructing sheet and revealing more of her naked form. He tasted her with a wild need he couldn't control, dizzying them both with the moist, silken glide of mouth on mouth.
He felt her shiver beneath the length of his hard body and he strived to warm her up again, in the best way possible.
"B-Bucky." Joanna moaned, dislodging from his mouth and taking deep, panting breaths. His name breathed by her lips aroused him dangerously. He wanted to hear more, have her moans fill his ears, and silence the demons.
Her lack of protests fueled his desire. Kissing the corner of her plump, rosy mouth, he went exploring, with his hands and lips as his guide. Joanna writhed beneath his kisses, indulging the rough way he sucked and bit her skin.
Her scent, that sweet fragrance of summer blossoms, cocooned him in the madness of his want. His cock was rock hard, wanting nothing more but to plunge into her, but his ears wanted to feast on more sighs and moans from her.
Joanna struggled to even her breathing. The man had a wicked talent for playing her body like a quivering instrument, having her desperate for him in a matter of seconds. She didn't understand why her boyfriend suddenly decided to be raunchy, in the far too early hours of the day. But she couldn't complain, not when she felt as good as she did.
His touch was such a welcomed indulgence, yet she noticed how much more frantic he seemed, and his hunger for her seemed more intense than usual. His warm, large hands were gripping her curves as he ventured down. Joanna only saw the blur of his dark hair snaking down her body, she was much more engrossed in his caress.
Bucky knew just where to touch her. His hands globed over her breasts before pressing into her. The weight of his body kept her rooted to the bed, not that there was much resistance. He buried his face into the valley of her tits, indulging in the softness of her bosom before enveloping his mouth over one hardened nipple.
"Oh, God." She gasped out, her hips arched against his lower half in guilty pleading for more. Bucky licked her in kind, lavishing her nipple with his tongue before moving to the other. Joanna was fisting her hands into his hair, clutching and tugging in a way that he liked.
Casting a sly glance up at her, he moved down, peppering her midriff and belly with kisses and tasting her skin. The savor of sin on her was intoxicating and he was eager to see just how stimulated she really was, between those long, curvy legs.
Joanna moaned when he began to play with the drenched, jungle steam of her core. She heard him make a noise, somewhere between a groan and a growl, amazed by her reaction to his touch. Joanna knew if she was in saner senses, she would have made a snide comment over his surprise. She couldn't help how she reacted to him. The man maddened her with a want that she had never felt before.
Joanna wasn't given a moment to adjust to his probing when his touch was suddenly denied and then replaced with his hot mouth. She gasped, not expecting the suddenness of his action, and could only cling to the top of his head as he began to ravish her.
She was moaning and writhing moments later, taken and thrown into bliss by the intensity of his erotic kiss. He forcefully draped both her legs over his shoulders and stealthily slid his touch down to her ass. Gripping both cheeks tightly he worshipped her as if she was served for him at the table.
Bucky knew this wasn't the first time he had eaten her out, but he found it strange how he enjoyed it the more he did it. In the fleeting moments of their naughty acts, was when he felt the most alive. Renewed with a purpose and that being ecstasy, for both of them.
His Joanna was such a wild thing, melting into his licking without a trace of inhibition. The passion was so erogenous, his swollen cock threatened to punch a hole through the mattress, but he held back in shaky control, determined to bring her to climax first.
With a final, slow, stroke of his tongue, she plunged over the edge, quaking against his mouth, drenching him with the nectar of her release.
"Holy shit." Joanna sighed, collapsing back onto the bed, her dark gaze fevered in spent, panting disbelief. Bucky rose up above her, his clear eyes smoldering in predatory focus, one arm planted to by her him while the other wiped at his damp mouth.
He crawled over her sweat-slicked form, glowing in the faint blue hour. He arranged his lower half between her legs, pelvis pressing into her damp center. The length of him, rubbing against her slick warm folds, burned a fire in him, his cock throbbing in response.
Joanna was snapped out of her dazed, but the wonderfully naughty press of his cock against her core. She blinked past her exhaustion and admired his face, hanging above hers.
There was something different. Joanna couldn't help but notice in the hazed of her drifting climax. He settled over her between her legs, positioning himself but all she could focus on was his face. The pupils of his eyes were large and blotting out most of that beautiful blue of his irises. His arousal was evident, in his gaze and elsewhere, yet his face was expressionless.
She searched his face in confusion, bothered by his obvious dissociation. The coldness reminded her eerily of his instances as the Winter Solider when his shy, emotional warmth was tucked away. Her heart sank into the pit of her belly. She hated that she was so intuitive to his reactions and half wished she never saw anything in the first place. The dizzying lavender haze of her climax faded the longer she stared up at him.
But then, before she could voice her insecurities, he claimed her in a wild demand that blanked out all thoughts from her mind. She gasped not expecting the suddenness of his actions or the surge of undeniable pleasure that racked her body.
Bucky was lost in the bliss of their connection, plunging in and out of her again and again. Her heart was thudding in more than just ecstasy now, but piercing fear. He was being unusually intense, a desperation she hadn't seen before. Joanna knew he was more tender than the two, always wanting to slow down when she wanted to reach their peak faster.
Between the mind-numbing pleasure, she struggled to decide what to do, simply receive it even though it felt wrong or do something about it. Joanna recognized his apathy, having felt that way in many dark times in her life. He sought distraction, from something that she couldn't comprehend.
But Joanna had never been the compliant sort, even if her lover was being generous. She wanted to reach the depths of him, even if they were swamped with the mud and rotting mess of his trauma, she wanted to help him.
Silently, Joanna reached up, her fingers trembling in the anxious thought that he would reject her advances. He had his head lowered, wisps of his sable mane hung around them in a curtain of blackness as he continued to rock his hips against her. Nudging aside a few, damp tendrils of his hair and gently cupped the side of his face.
His head snapped up, their eyes locked and he stilled instantly. Joanna didn't know if it was just the surprise or some emotion she expressed, but she saw some of the darkness ease from him. His strong arms, holding up his wide frame over her, trapping her body beneath his, were tense and rigid. The planes of his handsome face were equally hard, but his blue eyes shimmered in a wariness she wasn't expecting.
Motivated by his lack of protest, Joanna stroked the width of his sharp cheekbone, with the padded base of her thumb. She could feel a strange tingling beneath her fingertips, as she applied more friction to her caress. Then, slowly, he melted into her tender hold and nuzzled his pristine nose into her palm.
Joanna felt her heart flutter in relief, witnessing the sight of her gentle soldier returning, even if it was gradually. She went to him, rising from the comfort of the mattress, compelled by the doe-eyed way he gazed back. He openly winced from her movements, while they were still joined, he leaned back cautiously, and she followed till they were both upright. Joanna could feel his pulsing length inside her, but from the smoldering intensity in his eyes, she knew he wasn't in any discomfort.
She straddled his lap and gathered his face between her hands, yet she didn't have to force him to make eye contact. Bucky was staring back, enraptured, but his blue orbs quivered anxiously.
Joanna wondered if her actions were too bold for the recluse male, but when he adjusted beneath her, moving his touch to her hips and gripping tightly, she knew she made the right choice.
He seemed almost relieved as if her touch and silent advance had brought him out of some dark, twisted pit he was falling into. She ground against him, in an encouraging motion and he complied almost instantly.
Bucky closed his eyes, savoring the velvet wetness of her dripping core that pulled him back to the bliss of their lovemaking, in the momentary pause. It was different this time, the feeling, he didn't realize there could be levels.
When he was taking control before, he was trying to feed a hunger in mindless greed, he was unaware of the distance he placed between them and not just physically. But, buried inside her while sitting up, with his hips hooked between her long limbs, their chests pressed together, wrapped in each other's arms, was much more intimate.
Bucky could feel his lover's heartbeat, mirroring his own as she rode him. He struggled to find his voice at that moment, feeling like the emotions he longed to utter were lodged in his throat, blocking his vocals. Instead, he chose to speak with his body, his hands, fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips, expressing how deeply he needed her.
Joanna moaned above him burying her face into the nape of his neck, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. He told her with every deep stroke, buried in her to the hilt and assisting her up and down movement.
Bucky had sparked their steamy dance thinking he would find some relief from the madness that threatened to consume him. Yet he found himself being carried away, into the twinkling stars of dark, peaceful oblivion, healed by their connection.
Joanna panted his name, her breath hot against the length of his throat. Bucky wanted to see her face as she surrendered sweetly. He embraced her tightly and nuzzled her shoulder before moving his kisses up. She raised her head and looked at him with eyes hooded over in mind-numbing pleasure.
He felt himself smiling, utterly besotted by her expressing such a wanton daze. He kissed her again, roughly and her soft groan with his tongue in her mouth, opened wide for him in eager reception.
The kiss sparked a wildness in them both, a fierce fire of impatient heat. He hugged her tightly and quickened his pace, simply ravishing her in a raw, otherworldly bliss. No words were exchanged, just harsh breathing and deep kisses.
He loved how utterly wrapped up he was, not just in the comforting cocoon of her limbs, but in her scent, her supple form, and dizzying kisses. He could feel his release nearing and held her in fierce hopelessness. Neither of them cared if the embrace was borderline painful.
Then a few final pumping heaves of his hips lunging up into her and they were flung over the sweet, tortured bliss of their climax. Joanna shuddered over him, melting into him as his arms dropped, leaden as his body bent into her embrace.
Bucky buried his face between her breasts, weary and spent by the shattering climax. His heart continued to thud belatedly as he struggled to snap out of the dizzying daze.
He didn't feel compelled to compose himself, not when Joanna hugged him tightly while falling back onto the mattress. Bucky had to catch himself before his weight could harm her, but Joanna was persistent, pulling him even closer until he was eventually subjected.
He laid over her, hesitant at first, resting the side of his face against her damp chest and allowing himself this one moment of weakness. He wasn't expecting the exhaustion to consume him so heavily, but he also held her responsible.
It felt good, to be held, constricted by her loving arms as her hands petted the back of his head. His eyelids felt hefty and the more he resisted the spell of sleep, the more soothing her fingers, combing through his hair were.
"That was…" Her whispering words faded into a contemplative silence, deliberating a worthy adjective.
"Relaxing." He found himself completing the sentence, expressing exactly how he felt. He heard a low rumbling in her chest, where his ear was pressed against, a soft purr of amusement.
"Sure." She mumbled weakly, he could hear the smile in her voice and longed to see it. Yet, he couldn't find the will in him to move, his joints felt like jelly and her soft, warm body beneath him was the perfect resting place.
Joanna was floating ashore in the gentling waves of her climax. She stared up at the grey ceiling, quite content with him reclining on top of her. Her fingers were tangled in his thick mane of chestnut locks, slightly wet at the ends from their exertions. She smiled lovingly and continued to pet his head, he was quiet in her arms and she assumed he had dozed off.
"Jo." He suddenly called raspily, surprising her.
"Don't leave me."
Her heart lurched in pained adoration, she was yanked out of her daze from his desolate plea. She was tongue-tied and shaken by his request, thinking it was absurd for him to even assume she would abandon him.
"I'm not going anywhere, hun." Joanna declared with great promise. "I'm obnoxious like that."
She was smiling nervously, hoping her mild jest would elevate the fog of tension his words had suddenly cast upon them. But her lover was still, breathing evenly, his face obstructed by his hair. Joanna moved her touch up to his forehead, gently pushing back his tresses over his hairline, revealing his alabaster temple. She couldn't resist the urge to bend forward and place a doting kiss on the crown of his head.
"…I'm sorry." He mumbled, somewhere between a sigh and a sob. The trembling sadness in his deep voice further concerned her. She wasn't sure what exactly he was apologizing for, the thin skin between her brows furrowed in confusion.
"For what?" Joanna prompted. A stretch of silence followed as she hung on the precipice, hoping for a response, but there was none, only deep, serene breathing.
"Hun?" She decided to chance softly, shimming up against the pillow to have a better look at his handsome profile. Bucky's eyes were closed in the softest serenity that shocked her for a moment. The sharp planes of his sculpted face were relaxed in slumber, his plump lips supple and inviting as his big body laid over her, hugging her rather possessively.
Joanna cautiously relaxed back into the mattress, her expression still tense with worry. She didn't know what exactly transpired from between her sleep and wake that Bucky was so riddled by. She could only hope, she had brought him solace and he would eventually open up to her about his troubles.
Joanna was never a patient woman, but she was for him because even in his darkest moments, Bucky was always worth it for her.
Will Bucky tell Joanna what's been bothering him? Will Joanna stop being a bum and get a job? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON EL MAÑANA!
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