This is my Life

"One young boy destined to face the past, change the present and determine the future"

There are people in the world who think that life goes on in one swift moment, life more or less passes you by as we don't think about the people around us or what they really do mean to us, I who have never known my parents, my bloodline, my true family. Why they gave me away I understand that in my heart and in my soul, but in my head I don't.

I don't know who I am or what I am for that matter, things have been happening since I was a baby, visions, feelings of a bad presence constantly haunting me, and then there are my parents. I have seen what I think of them in my dreams, flashes of my life with my mother before I was adopted. I am seven years old, and people say I am smart for my age, my adoptive parents don't know that I know the truth of who I am, and that I am not their son. They love me with all their heart but in a way I love them for taking me in, giving me a home, for being nothing more than my carers. When my mother looks at me, this certain way its as if she senses they haven't really made me their child by taking after them, I can hear her thoughts as she wonders where I get my love of science from, my burning questions of life out there in the real world they know I am not your average kid. Since I found out my real existence I've had this deep burning desire, which grows everyday to be with my parents. It is so strong; it draws me out into the night to look at the stars into which I look up at, this very moment.

My dreams are filled with happiness and love, but sometimes at night there are the ones filled with fear, my mother fearing for my father's safety and mine at the same time. However I can feel my own fear of these people who threaten us, lurking in the shadows waiting to strike, I scream in my mind, in my dreams for them to take me, hurt my parents no more, they have suffered enough, but the dreams end with me awake and confused, knowing she sacrificed me to save me. I am William Van De Kemp and this is my life.

I always had this feeling I was someone who was never known as "normal" how does one define the word. Well that for sure is not me. As I put my belongings in my rucksack and a few cookies, and tins of food to help me on my journey, I feel happy for the first time in my life. I'm going home. Home. Its strange isn't it all of my life I have thought of the farm as home, that I would grow up and take it over for my father. Life now isn't always what it seems. I'm excited and scared for what lies ahead of me, I don't know where I am going yet, what I am going to learn along the way but now I know that life is about asking questions, not about knowing the answers.
I take as many belongings as I can, but as I sneak past my parents' bedroom, I stop and take one last look inside, these are the people who have cared and loved me as if I was their own. To them I am their son, however to me I cannot be who they want me to be.

I go into their bedroom and stare at the sleeping figures I walk to their bedside table and lay their letter next to their lamp; I stare at them one last time and cry silently allowing myself not to wake them. I close the door and head back to my room heaving my rucksack on my back, and head down the ladders looking back at the one place I called home and then head off into the night. The stars are bright tonight and there is one that has shone brighter the past few nights. I feel as if I have a connection with it. I have always felt this way about the sky for as long as I can remember. I go with my instincts and follow it.

I have been walking for five hours straight now my legs are tired and I feel as if I am about to collapse as I see the bus station I go to the bus that is heading to Washington and hand the driver my ticket. He looks at me thinking, how old I must be. I smile as he nods and head to the back of the bus away from prying eyes. As the bus begins to fill I realise there aren't many people on it and as the engine starts I rest my head against the cushion of the chair and feel my eyes grow heavy. I'm dreaming again, however this time there is another person in the dream, a woman and my mother. She is looking at me as a baby in my crib, my seven-year-old self-watches from the corner of the room.

She turns and says to the woman that she has a choice of what kind of life she can choose for me and that I shouldn't be scared of anyone or anything. Then the woman turns to my mother as she looks down at me and touches the star upon my crib as the woman says "but who can?" and my mother begins to cry. I suddenly find myself transported to another dream, my mother is holding me closely and telling me how much she loves me and that my dad loves me too. The woman is here again and I have learned her name is Monica; my mother begins to get me ready as if I am going somewhere, I notice a bag is lying by the door as my mother adjusts my rabbit eared hat. There is a knock at the door and Monica goes to answer it, another woman comes into the apartment. She smiles sadly at my mother then over at me. I feel a pressure on my forehead as my mother kisses my forehead for the last time. I hear her voice one last time as I am put in the woman's arms and the closes the door behind me. I am catapulted out of the dream so fast it hurts my head as I open my eyes; I am breathing fast and shivering uncontrollably. An old woman asks me if I am okay and I nod trying not to draw attention to myself. I ask her where we are and she says that we are nearing Washington. My heart is starting to do summersaults, I'm almost home.

An hour later the bus is pulling into the station, I get off and head for the small supermarket for something to drink. On my way I spot a phone booth when I come out of the supermarket I head towards it. There is a large phone book I open it up and flick to the letter S. I know my mother's maiden name is Scully as it was used many times in my dreams. There are two-listed known Scully's in the area maybe one is my mother I only hope. I go to dial the number of a M.A. Scully but decide that it would maybe be better to go to the address in the book and find out for myself. I hail a cab and say to the driver to take me to twenty two Greenwood Drive he looks at me strangely thinking what a kid my age is doing out in a city on his own. He nods and then starts to drive the good thing about my powers is that I have learned to read people's minds; I am learning how to switch it off and on when I want it's like listening to a radio. The driver asks why I am on my own and I say I'm visiting my grandparents for the holidays. He smiles and nods again. Before I know it we are turning into Greenwood Drive as I step out the car and hand the driver the money I owe him I feel a sense of familiarity with this place as I walk up the driveway to the door.
I knock three times but there is no answer I am just about to give up when this feeling inside begins to get very strong, the door then opens and a woman looks down at me. At that moment I am catapulted into a vision it's so strong it throws me off balance.

"Do what is best for William, Dana"
"Mom, don't you think I have thought about that every single day since he was born, I can't protect him, anymore"
"And strangers can?"

At that moment I look up to the woman's face realising who she is, she is related to my mother and may have the answers to who I am. She looks at me strangely as if about to ask me a question and then I feel the darkness cave in on me and I feel my body fall with a thud.

The next thing I feel is as if my body is being lifted and deposited on something soft.
I wake up and find that I am lying on the couch and that the woman from my vision has put a cold cloth on my head. "Are you alright, dear?" she asks worriedly. I nod nervously "yeah I am okay now" I say "you scared me there for a second" she says pushing me gently back on the couch and saying that she is going to call for a doctor. I sit upright quickly "No, its okay I have experiences like that quite a lot it's who I am" She looks over at me obviously confused at my statement then smiles "Okay then, how about you lie there for a few more minutes and I'll make you something to eat and you can tell me why you are here." I nod and say that I am feeling better and she says to make myself at home she goes to the kitchen and as I walk around the living room I look at the photos I pass one by the fireplace and I am compelled to look at it, it's of a baby. That baby is me.

I stand looking at it transfixed as if time has stopped I must have been about ten months old in that photo. The woman comes out of the kitchen to see if I am okay and she sees me staring at the picture, "Ah I see you've been looking at my photographs" she says. I nervously ask, "Sorry for me asking m'am but could you tell me who that baby in the photograph is? She looks at me shocked for a second that I seem to have asked her that question her kindly eyes begin to glaze over as she picks up the frame. "That is my grandson, William, he was ten months old" From her use of the word "was" I could now see what she meant. She looks down at me and our eyes seem to connect she is trying to see what my reaction is, "What happened to him?" I ask innocently I need to push this; I have to find out if she is family. She lowers her head and puts the photo back on its resting place; I can tell it's painful for her to talk about it I feel the same pain she is experiencing. Just as she is about to answer me, the phone rings, she says for me to go into the kitchen and sit and wait for her, as breakfast is ready, I do as I'm told and go into the kitchen. Ten minutes later she appears and sits next to me with her coffee, I eat slowly.
"So do you have a name?" she asks laughing, I smile and say "Yes my name is William" she looks at me in surprise "That's a good strong name, in fact my late husband was called William and so is my son but he always preferred Bill" she laughed again. "My name is Margaret but call me Maggie" I say okay then she asks me another question "May I ask what age you are dear?"
I wipe my mouth with my napkin "Seven" I say "Are you looking for someone here?" she asks again.

I nod again scared of telling her what I already know that she could be my grandmother.
"I'm looking for my parents" I say
She looks at me confused just before she asks me a question, I blurt out that I'm adopted.
"That would explain the rucksack" she says I nod again.
"How much do you know about them? Maybe I can help you" she says
"I know that I was born in a place called Democrat Hot Springs in Georgia, I was adopted at ten months old and that my mother's name is Dana Scully and nothing of my father"