Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki.
Snow White - Part 2
The curtain dropped. Yaone apologised over the microphone for the unpleasant outbreak. The curtain rose soon. All seven of the 'dwarfs' stood in a row in front of the bed where Kanzeon Bosatsu lay.
"You guys here already?" Kanzeon Bosatsu said, sitting up. She started filing her nails.
The audience sweatdropped. Most of them looked amused. Jiroushin, however, was tearing his script into little pieces.
"Er - Snow White was so startled that she nearly screamed," Yaone narrated. "Then her good manners came back to her."
"Oh, how do you do?" Kanzeon Bosatsu said, still busy over her nails.
"We're so glad that you aren't a monster!" Lirin as Sneezy crowed, sniffing.
"Or a ghost!" Goku as Dopey added, his innocent look living to his character's name.
Shien sighed as Nataku and Gonou watched in amusement.
"You're just a witch!" Koryuu as a very grumpy Grumpy hissed.
"Or a banshee," Gojyo as Doc added.
"Alright already!" Jiroushin said quite loudly from the back stage.
"The seven dwarfs are relieved to find that their visitor is not a monster or a ghost," Yaone narrated. "All of them thought Snow White was beautiful. Except for suspicious Grumpy.
"Snow White could easily guess their names," Yaone went on.
"You there with that two roach thingy," Kanzeon Bosatsu said, finally looking up from her filing. "You're Doc."
Gojyo glared.
"And you are Dopey," Kanzeon Bosatsu went on. "And Bashful, and Sneezy, and Sleepy, and Happy..."
Kanzeon Bosatsu stared at the frowning Koryuu.
"And you must be Grumpy," Kanzeon Bosatsu folded her hands in imitation.
Koryuu frowned even deeper. He turned away with a 'Hm!'
"Snow White told them all about herself and the wicked queen," Yaone narrated.
"Please don't send me away," Kanzeon Bosatsu begged unconvincingly. "If you do, she'll kill me and we'll lose the kingdom's fairest maiden."
"That's none of our business so get out!" Koryuu said, stamping his foot.
"Is that in the script?" Gonou whispered to Gojyo.
"I dunno," Gojyo muttered.
"The dwarfs felt that she ought to stay, all except Grumpy," Yaone said. "He was afraid that the wicked queen would find them all."
"I made supper," Kanzeon Bosatsu said.
"Really?" Goku and Lirin said, their mouth watering.
"No," the vain goddess replied meanly.
The curtain dropped and rose again. The scene had changed.
"Back at the castle," Yaone narrated, "the queen believed Snow White was dead. Now she was surely the most beautiful!"
"Magic mirror on the wall," Gyokumen Koushu cried. "Who now is the fairest one of all?"
"Over the seven jeweled hills, beyond the seventh fall, in the cottage of the seven dwarfs," Kougaiji reeled off from the paper in his hand, "dwells Snow White, fairest one of all."
Gyokumen Koushu cried in rage. She picked up a heavy book and flung it at the glass. Kougaiji barely ducked in time! The audience all 'oohed'.
"The queen was furious," Yaone narrated, hoping that her master is fine. "Snow White still lived! The queen decided to take the matters in her hands."
"I'll handle this myself!" Gyokumen Koushu cried. "First, a disguise!"
Gyokumen Koushu mixed some coloured water in a glass. It bubbled and boiled! Lightning flashed, thanks to some special lights and sound effects. The water started misting eeriely. Gyokumen Koushu drank it.
Then came the smoke effects. When the mist cleared, Gyokumen Koushu looked like a hag. She cackled.
"The queen had mixed some magic potion which transformed her into a hag in a peddlar's cloak," Yaone narrated. "Then she brewed up a second terrible mixture and dipped a juicy red apple into it."
Gyokumen Koushu did as Yaone narrated. She cackled again.
"One taste if this poisoned apple, and the victim's eyes will close - forever!" Gyokumen Koushu cackled and laughed a wicked laugh. "Until she receives her true love's first kiss. She wouldn't receive it when she's dead! Ha ha ha ha!!"
The curtain dropped.
For some reason, it took a whole ten minutes for it to raise again. Someone grabbed the curtain and tore it! It seemed as if Goku and Gojyo had a fight and Gojyo had caught the curtains to prevent from falling.
Both Sanzo and Jiroushin yelled at them and finally, there was peace. The curtain rose, showing the kitchen in the cottage.
"At the cottage," Yaone narrated, "the seven dwarfs are on their way out to work."
"Don't let anybody or anything in the house!" Koryuu as Grumpy warned.
"Of course," Kanzeon Bosatsu replied, busy with her hair. "You do care, Grumpy."
The seven 'dwarfs' walked off the stage, leaving Kanzeon Bosatsu.
"Snow White decided to surprise the dwarfs with a gooseberry pie," Yaone narrated. "While she rolled out the dough, she thought about the handsome prince she had met."
"Handsome?" Kanzeon Bosatsu remarked, rolling out the dough. She caught sight of Jiroushin looking at her beseechingly. "Right. Someday, my prince will come."
"Suddenly, a dark shadow fell across the window," Yaone narrated. "Snow White looked up with a gasp."
"All alone, my pet?" Gyokumen Koushu as the old hag asked. "It's apple pies that make menfolk's mouths water." She held out the supposed to be poisoned apple.
"Oh, they do look delicious," Kanzeon Bosatsu said.
"Wait till you taste one, dearie," Gyokumen Koushu cackled. "Go on, have a bite."
"Forgetting all about Grumpy's warning," Yaone narrated, "Snow White accepted the juicy red apple and bit into it. The next instant, Snow White fell to the floor."
"Yes! Yes!' Gyokumen Koushu cried. "Now I'm the fairest of them all! Ha ha ha ha!!"
Gyokumen Koushu left.
"In the evening," Yaone narrated, "the seven dwarfs returned from work."
All seven trooped on stage. They stared in horror at Kanzeon Bosatsu on the floor.
"They were horrified to see the beautiful princess on the floor," Yaone narrated. "They were certained that she was dead. But Snow White was so beautiful..."
Koryuu snorted.
"...that they could not bring themselves to bury her. Instead, they built her a coffin out of gold and glass, and kept a constant vigil at her side."
As Yaone was saying this, the torn curtain dropped. The audience could see everyone scrambling to change the scenery. When it rose, Kanzeon Bosatsu lay in a glass coffin with the seven 'dwarfs' all mourning around her.
"Put that eyedrops aside!" Jiroushin hissed.
"Right, sorry, sorry," Gojyo whispered, quickly squeezing a couple of drops into his eyes before pocketing it.
The seven 'dwarfs' spend about a couple of minutes mourning, crying and sobbing. Koryuu was impatient with the whole acting.
"Far away," Yaone narrated, "the prince had heard about the beautiful maiden who slept in a glass coffing. He searched far and wide on his white steed until, one day, he rode into the clearing where Snow White lay."
Dokugakuji rode on stage. The horse was a fake, of course. Judging by the sound inside the skin, its...
"I can't stand your weight anymore!"
The horse collapsed, bringing Dokugakuji down as well. The skin came apart and everyone could see Chin Yisou and Shuei panting and fanning themselves.
"You - weigh - a - ton!" Shuei panted.
The audience sweatdropped. Most of them felt amused. Jiroushin was far from amused, however. Chin Yisou and Shuei caught his mutinous look and hastily scrambled back into the stuffy horse skin.
"The prince carefully removed the glass lid," Yaone narrated as Dokugakuji did so. "He leaned over and kissed her gently."
"I'm not going as far as that!" Dokugakuji said.
"Just do it," Nataku as Bashful said suddenly. With a mischevious grin, he pushed Dokugakuji!
Dokugakuji smashed his lips on to Kanzeon Bosatsu's. His nose made contact with the cardboard coffin, making it bleed. Kanzeon Bosatsu gave a shriek as some blood dribbled down her neck.
"Oops," Nataku muttered.
"Snow White was alive!" Yaone narrated as the curtain dropped "She and the prince lived happily ever after. Meanwhile..."
The curtain rose. Gyokumen Koushu back as the queen stood in the throne room with a the sellotaped glass.
"Magic mirror on the wall," Gyokumen Koushu cried, "who is the fairest of them all?"
"In the castle on the hill dwells the queen Snow White, fairest of them all!" Kougaiji read off from yet another piece of paper.
Gyokumen Koushu screamed in rage. Finding nothing to throw, she took off her shoes and flung both of them at the glass. Kougaiji ducked in time. Glass shattered around him.
"By the way," Kougaiji said. "It's seven years of bad luck for you for breaking a mirror."
The curtain dropped and the audience clapped.
"It may be disastrous, but they love it," Kanzeon Bosatsu said to a beaming Jiroushin.
"Can sobebody helb be?" Dokugakuji said thickly through his still bleeding nose.
A/N: Next would be Sleepig Beauty. I know, I said I was going to do Beauty and the Beast first, but I haven't decided who should be who yet. Review now, I'm waiting.