WINTER'S REFUGE

by Kattayl

Every author writes a Curry and Heyes prison story. This is mine.

34. Winter's Refuge Chapter 34

Winter's Refuge

Chapter Thirty-Four

JED 'KID' CURRY

I fell asleep sittin' up. Couldn't have been for long. It's dark with my eyes open or closed in here. The dark is insidious. Another word Heyes would be surprised I know. It takes away your sight and tries to ensnare your mind. Heyes has been afraid of bein' locked in small, dark places since we were at the Home. No wonder this darkness crept into his thoughts. But I refuse to let it creep into mine.

I have to be strong. I have things to do before that door opens at noon tomorrow. The guards were changin' outside my door. It is so quiet even their muffled words were enough to wake me. I figured it has been at least six hours. The night must be as dark outside as it is in here. I pulled the prison shirt off of the wound on my shoulder. It hurts but it did its job and stopped the big bleedin'. I feel it start bleedin' a little again, but it will stop. I'll need the warmth that this rough shirt will provide tonight. In the dark, I use my cot to lay it out. It's hard to smooth the shirt out flat because it is caked with blood. But I have all the time I need to get this done. Tasks like this will keep my mind busy even though I'm doin' them with my eyes closed. It's the pain I have to control. Finally, I pick it up by the shoulders and shake hard. I felt remnants of the dried blood come off onto my arms, but at least now I can put the shirt on.

The pain on my back is takin' more and more of my thoughts. I want to scream but I won't. How not to scream was a lesson I learned at the Home and again in Yuma prison. Screamin' don't help you and it makes your tormentors stronger.

I need to walk out of here on my own tomorrow, so I ignore the pain and stretch my arms over my head. Findin' a wall, I reach up as high as I can, otherwise the dark threatens to claim my balance as its own. I step back and swing my arms around in a circle. I know I'm breakin' some of the early healin' and scarrin' on my back, but I'll need the strength in my arms to ride my horse tomorrow. I told Lom to bring a horse, not a buggy, for me. I will ride away from here with my head held high and as straight a back as I can manage. This place, this warden, will not break me.

The shirt does give me some warmth, but it also irritates the lacerations on my back. I'm thirsty. I found the pitcher I poured out and pick it up. There is some water in the bottom, and I feel drops clingin' to the sides. What if it wasn't poisoned? Water will help me heal faster.

"NO!" I yelled as I hurl the metal pitcher off a far wall.

"Convict, quiet!" the guard on duty yelled.

That small amount of human contact, an angry voice through a closed door, settles me. This darkness is not the world. The darkness is contained. And I will be free of it tomorrow.

Still thirsty, I lay down to try and sleep. I need to sleep some. I have to have my strength tomorrow and even some sleep will help. I realize that to sleep on my uninjured shoulder, I have to face the invisible door. I'd rather face the wall where I can reach out and feel something real in this blackness. Still, I can't touch the lacerations over the healin' burns on my shoulder to the bed, so I face the door.

Twice more I hear the guards change. The second time the conversation is longer, and I think I hear a laugh. I know the warden will plot either to kill me or keep me in prison longer. I can't hear what they are plannin'.

I close my eyes tight as the door opens. I know it's too early for me to be released. The guard doesn't speak, but I hear his footsteps and the clank of metal on the floor as he retrieves the water pitcher I threw. Then, I hear him put a new pitcher on the ground near the door. Before he leaves, I chance openin' my eyes. It is light outside; the light filterin' down to the cell is sunlight, not lamplight. As the door slams shut and the dark surrounds me once more, I hear the guard sayin', "Didn't move. Might be dead already."

So, it must be at least an hour after sunrise, maybe more. If it's seven, I only have five more hours. Five more hours of thirst. Five more hours to fight off the dread that this place commands. Five more hours of relentless pain.

I sit up and try to stretch. Liftin' my arms make the wounds on my back scream in outrage. When I try to stand up, the back of my thighs where the billy clubs hit, exploded in pain, the muscles clenchin' through the emergin' bruises. The pain forced me back to the cot. Their aim had been true, hittin' the healin' bruise from the barn raisin'.

It's too much. Pain is everywhere. I'm not strong enough. I can't help Chrissy and Heyes. I can't run the ranch and the blacksmith shop. I can't help every neighbor that needs me. I'll never be strong enough to be a husband to Chrissy, a father to our children. I'm not a hero, or a legend. I'm an ex-convict tryin' to fit into a law-abidin' society that's suspicious of me. It's too much. I can't do it anymore. I'm broken. Not by the dark and the beatin', but by the weight of everyone needin' a piece of me.

I look at the new water pitcher, even try to stand and go to it. The water may not be poisoned. I need water. Every part of my body craves water. But the crampin' in my legs forces me down again. Puttin' my head in my hands, I let a couple of tears fall. As they touch my cheek, I want someone to help me. Help me. Why does no one help me? Only need me to help them? I feel crushed by the darkness, by everyone needin' something from me. Ain't got enough strength left to help myself.

I curl up on the cot and go back to sleep. I'm so very tired.

LOM

I tipped the desk clerk to keep an eye on Heyes; told him Heyes weren't feeling well. I went to the livery and reserved two horses. The Kid said horse, no buggy. I hope I'm doing the right thing by respecting his wishes. I have the Kid's boots and hat…and his gun. Picking up some salve for Heyes' hands and coffee to bring back, I dreaded how I was going to find him. And how I was going to take care of him without the Kid's patience.

I knock on the door and call out before I enter our room. Heyes was not in the bed. I found him fully dressed, sitting, looking out the window at the street below. His chalkboard was on the table. He had written "Proud of you" over and over, covering every inch of space.

"Heyes, here's your coffee."

I was relieved when he turned around and looked at me. He didn't say anything but reached for the coffee. His expression was blank as he drank.

"I've arranged for someone to check on you while I'm gone."

His expression stayed blank, but he erased a corner of the board. "Going," he wrote.

"Yes, I'm leaving in about ten minutes."

I could tell he was trying to say something. His blank expression changed to frustration. He grabbed his board and pointed to himself then the word, "Going."

"No, Heyes. You stay here. I'll bring him back here, I promise."

"N…N…" He couldn't say even the word no anymore. Again, he pointed to himself and the word going as he went and opened the door with determination.

"Okay but you'll have to enter the prison. We're meeting the governor inside."

Again, the blank expression. This time he pointed to the words he had written over and over. "Proud of you." I was surprised that the Kid thought to tell him that as he was being escorted off to prison. I could tell he was sincere.

"I don't know. If the Kid needs help, I can't help him and watch over you."

He turned and looked out the window. I think he was trying to say something, but only guttural sounds escaped. He picked up the board and erased some of his lines and wrote, "Watch myself. Keep my thoughts right."

I stared at the man in front of me. He had been a powerful, charming leader with a will no one but the Kid dared dispute. I saw some of that determination in him now.

"Okay, Heyes, you can come. I'm counting on you to take care of yourself."

He nodded and walked out the door looking back in at me to follow. I didn't follow him long. He managed to get behind me and trail me by a few steps. I wasn't going to correct him today. My thoughts are on the Kid.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I woke suddenly out of a nightmare of Master Heigle and his whip into the darkness of my cell. I closed my eyes and felt for the chamber pot under the cot. I wretched but nothing came up. How could it; I'd had nothing to drink. My thirst was strong, but I didn't touch the pitcher. I wanted them to see that they had failed. My resolve had returned as I slept. My goal was to protect my family. This had been my choice of my own freewill. I did it to protect Heyes and I would do it again.

I stretched out my shoulders gently, then I used my arms to push off the cot and stand up. I gritted my teeth at the pain in my legs. They wobbled before they finally supported my weight. The injury from the barnraisin' had been the target for the guard's billy clubs. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of the intense pain they had caused.

At first, I need to lean my hand on the wall to walk. Slowly my muscles eased, but the pain's still there. I ignore it. The wounds on the back of my head and my temple throb from the tearin' of the razor yesterday. Can't tell if my headache is from that or lack of water. The wound on my shoulder from the splinters of wood and the burns from the fire ache and burn. The warden used his cat o nine tails to rip it open again. His aim was true. And my back now had new lacerations to join the crisscross of scars there. I thought about each pain, acknowledged it, and tried to be stronger than the hurt. I'd had to do this in the railroad camp, over and over.

I didn't know what time it was, but I figured the door will open in a few hours, so I keep walkin'. I need to keep the thigh muscles warm and movin' so I can walk out of here myself.

LOM

I rented a third horse for Heyes. He only brought his chalkboard with him. I saw him erasin' the 'Going' he had written and write something else carefully. I didn't look, but assumed it was 'Proud of you' again. What the Kid had told him certainly had made an impression on him. Still, he walked behind me and hid from the livery man that brought out the horses. Heyes was always an excellent horseman, and he rode this one easily. But the closer we got to the prison, the more he shook.

"Heyes, you don't have to do this." I don't know if he heard me. He kept riding toward the prison, his eyes fixed forward, tremors rocking his body.

"Heyes!"

This time he pulled his horse up and looked at me.

"You don't have to do this. You can stay here and wait for us."

He looked at me, his face showing fear, but started riding again towards the prison…and the Kid. I didn't ask him again.

The same trustee took our horses and the horse we brought for the Kid. I did as he had always done and said, "Thank you, sir."

Heyes dismounted and looked down out of habit. I knocked on the massive front door. Heyes stood two steps behind me. When the guards opened the door, I started to say, "Lom Trevors and Han…"

"No need for that." Colin stepped forward leaning on the door to keep it open while we entered. "Sheriff, Mr. Heyes, right this way. The governor is waiting for us."

Heyes hadn't stopped trembling, but he moved forward. He wasn't behind me any longer; he was next to me, leaning against me for support. I slowed my steps to his pace. Two guards quietly followed us. Heyes kept looking back at them every few feet. We met the governor and Dr. Arden in the hallway. I saw the surprise on the doctor's face that Heyes had come.

"Sheriff, Heyes, good to see you," he greeted us, but his eyes were studying Heyes.

"Well, are we ready to do this?" the governor asked. He set out walking without waiting for our answers.

Heyes was still leaning on me. Each time he looked back at the guards, he shook uncontrollably, and I had to steady him with an arm around his back. Dr. Arden understood his fears. He moved to walk between Heyes and the guards. When Heyes turned around the next time, he saw the doctor and relaxed a bit.

I was surprised that we didn't go to the warden's office but straight to stand outside what I presumed was a dark cell.

"Open it!" the governor commanded. When the guards hesitated, Colin handed them paperwork. "The governor has control over the Wyoming Territorial Prison system. Those are the release papers for Jedediah Curry."

Standing right in front of the door and with a nod to Colin, the governor repeated, "Now, open it." Heyes had fallen back to the other side of the corridor as far away as he could get and still see the door open. Dr. Arden stood beside him, but he wasn't supporting him. Heyes' eyes flicked between the guards and the door. He knew the darkness behind them. I could see he was breathing quickly, but I needed to be here to help the Kid when the door was opened. I remembered Chrissy huddled in the corner of the dark cell in Colorado when we found her.

The guard handed the papers back to Colin and unlocked the door.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I was startled when I heard voices outside and then a bright light that hurt my eyes assaulted me. Surely it wasn't noon yet.

"Mr. Curry." The governor's voice was loud and clear. Blinkin', I could make out the outline of two guards just inside the door and men beyond. I walked to the door and held out my hands, wrists together awaitin' the shackles. The governor spoke again. "Mr. Curry, the minute that door opened, you became a free man again. Your pardon and amnesty are valid."

It took a second for his words to sink in. As my vision cleared, I saw that one of the guards had the clothes I had worn in. I could see the other men there. Colin slipped by me into the cell carrying a canteen. WATER! My thoughts were focused on it as I reached for the canteen. But Colin shook his head slightly, with a quick glance at the guards.

"Lom has water for you, Mr. Curry." I turned back to the men standing outside the dark cell as Colin moved further into it. Dr. Arden looked concerned. And Heyes was standin' next to the doctor tremblin', lookin' scared and worried holdin' up his chalkboard. He had written 'Proud of you" over and over. The last words on his board were 'Thank you.' My emotions were well hidden but knowin' what it had taken out of him to come here and the heartfelt words he had written had me close to tears. We shared a gaze for a quick minute. I broke it off quickly. I need to concentrate on walkin' without limpin' and holdin' my head high….and water.

I stepped towards the governor. "Glad to see you, Mr. Curry." He held out his hand. I touched it quickly instead looking at Lom handin' me a big cup of water. I grabbed the water, guzzlin' a long drink from the tall glass. Too late I remembered my experience in Arizona in the prison wagon. The water started to come up as fast as it had gone down. Tryin' to make it look accidental, I bent over and threw up the water over the guard's pants and shoes.

"Convict, stop that!" Furious, the guard struck out with his billy club aimed at my head. I stepped back, something the guard was not used to. Prisoners had to stand and take their painful punishments. Guards could punish at will. I was no longer their prisoner.

As I straightened up, I saw horror on the guard's face as his billy club hit the governor high on his right side hard.

"Owww!" The governor stumbled forward clutchin' his side. I caught him and balanced him. It took all of my concentration not to fall myself.

He turned to the guard. "Mister…" He waited for the guard to supply his name. I could see the pain in the governor's eyes.

I could tell the guard was scared. "Moore, sir."

"Mr. Moore, you have assaulted the Governor of Wyoming!" The governor was standing on his own now.

The guard looked down and saw the mess on his shoes and pants. His cheeks flushed with anger and his eyes shot arrows at me, but he said, "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

Dr. Arden left Heyes and was at the governor's side, but was waved away. I was sippin' the precious water from Lom's canteen slowly now. For a minute, it was all I could think about. That precious liquid easin' its way through my body.

I don't think I smiled. I know I need to maintain control of my pain.

"MISTER Moore, please escort us to Dr. Arden's office!" the governor demanded. I watched him try to catch his breath as he took a few slow shaky steps. "And Mr. Moore, you will assist me there."

As he walked by me, the governor rallied and said, "Mr. Curry, you can change there, and we will depart promptly." He nodded to the guard and leaned on his arm. The other guard led the way.

Lom walked next to me. "Need help, Kid?"

I shook my head; the pain and the head poundin' were wearin' down my determination. I couldn't manage words without a groan escapin' with them. And I needed to talk to Heyes.

Immediately, Heyes looked down as the guard passed him, but I held my head up and walked straight. I was free. I shook hands with Lom and went to walk with Heyes.

"Glad to see you here, partner."

He looked at me with curious eyes but didn't say anything, not hello or hi. He didn't try to write anything either. He reached out and touched my shirt where there was blood and hung his head low. I tried to walk next to him, but he didn't even try to stay with me. He trailed the group of men lookin' overwhelmed and ashamed.

The doctor's office felt familiar. I was glad the guards waited outside.

"Go change in my private office," the doctor instructed.

"Be quick about it," the governor added, breathlessly.

"Sir, let me tend to you." Dr. Arden hovered over the governor as he sat him down in the desk chair.

"No, see to Curry. I want to get out of this place as soon as we can. I'm sure Mr. Curry and Mr. Heyes feel the same."

As I headed to the doctor's private office, I knew I was goin' to need help gettin' the shirt off. My shoulder had bled durin' the night and stuck the shirt to my lacerated back. I could rip it off, but that would take a lot of healing skin with it. I wanted it lifted gently.

"Wait, I'll go with you. It might be locked." Dr. Arden opened the back door, and I followed him. His door wasn't locked. "Soon as you walked by me, I realized you could use some help getting that shirt off," he said, already reachin' for his medical bag.

"Yes, sir," I said. I felt unsteady from the pain.

"Pull out that straight backed chair. Sit in it backwards. Lean forward. Rest for a second while I cut this shirt off of you. Prison can charge me for the shirt if they want to. Probably will." Dr. Arden kept up a conversation with himself.

I had trouble bendin' my knees with the pain so stretched them straight in front of me as I lowered myself onto the chair. I relaxed onto the back of the chair, leanin' my forehead on my arms. It hurt what he was doin', but he was usin' a salve of some kind to loosen the shirt and then spread it on my back as he worked. It dulled some of the pain.

"Okay, that's it. Sit up and we can slip it off over your arms."

I tried not to let him see my pain as I stood up. He said nothing, but I know he saw. I picked up the white dress shirt I had worn only yesterday to Heyes' parole board meetin'. That seemed a lifetime ago. I reached back to put my second arm in and groaned.

Respectin' my silence, I felt him findin' the sleeve and bringin' it as far forward as it would go to help me put it on. While I buttoned it, he said, "You'll have to wear those prison shoes out of here. Lom decided at the last minute to leave your gun and boots at the hotel."

I nodded, grateful that I didn't have to bend over and pull my boots on. As I changed into my civilian pants, we both were startled by yellin' so loud we could hear it from his main office.

It was the warden, and he was mad. "He is not supposed to be released until noon. It's just ten o'clock. You can't do this. He's mine until noon." The timbre of his voice rose with each word.

The governor calmly answered, "The paperwork just says he will be released by noon, not at noon. Read it for yourself, there's a copy on the desk."

"You can't do this. I'm the warden of this prison. I decide when prisoners are released. Where is he? The guards reported he was insolent yesterday. I ordered three more lashes."

'N…N…" I heard Heyes tryin' to object, but unable to get the word from his mind through his lips.

Laughin', the warden's voice was sadistic. "Give me a week and I would have broken Curry just like that sniveling mute in the corner."

I heard no more from Heyes. Lookin' at Dr. Arden for what we should do, I imagined the worst-Heyes huddled in a corner starin' at the warden in fear.

"Mr. Curry is no longer a prisoner; he is a private citizen. You are a recent appointee to this position through your political connections. And as the governor of this great state, you work for me. Please send the guard that reported this insolent behavior to me, and I will decide if any further punishment is needed."

I looked at the doctor. There must have been panic on my face because he shook his head. "Don't worry, Jed. The governor respects you and what you did." He spoke softly so his words stayed in the room.

The warden sputtered, "He's not on duty right now. Probably not here."

"Then we shall consider the incident closed. Mr. Curry is a free man, and this imprisonment will not be on his record. I am considering pressing charges against Mr. Moore and your prison for physical assault."

We heard a door openin' and slammin'. I took a deep breath and stood up straight. Even this light shirt hurt my back and the pants felt tight and painful against the swellin' bruises on my legs. The shirt immediately stuck to any place I was bleeding.

When we entered the doctor's main office, the warden was gone. So was Colin. Heyes was standin', leanin' on my window, body shakin', neck stretched, lookin' as high up into the sky as he could. But al least he wasn't hidin' in a corner. The governor was speaking to him, but he wasn't acknowledgin', just starin' at the sky. "Heyes, are you listening? I said the board approved you carrying a knife."

Lom answered for him. "Please thank the board for him."

Heyes didn't turn around when we entered.

"Let's get out of here. This place would give anyone nightmares." The governor stood and pointed at the guards. "You, lead the way. And you, Mr. Moore, you will help me."

Dr. Arden moved toward Heyes, but he turned and followed the group without bein' coaxed. I saw his eyes searchin' for something, some danger, but I needed to concentrate on my steps, of thinkin' through my headache or I would fall. And I refused to fall, to show weakness, to show defeat in prison.

We worked our way toward the main entrance. Askin' about Colin flashed through my mind, but I didn't have the strength to do anything except walk. I cringed as the warden met us at the front door, that door I dreaded comin' in every time we visited Heyes. Now, again, we were both leavin' together.

"I see you got what you came for, Governor." The warden eyed me. I could feel him lookin' for a weakness, an injury, a sign that he had broken me. I stood taller and met his gaze when he looked at me. He'd get nothing from me.

"Good day, warden." The governor was walkin' stiffly, bent over, and holdin' his side. He was startin' to experience the pains and bruisin' of the blow from the billy club that every prisoner knew.

The guards opened the door without bein' asked. I saw a buggy and three horses in front.

"Lom?"

He knew what I was thinkin'. "The horses are for you, me and Heyes. The doctor and the governor will take the buggy."

"Thanks." I tried to smile, but the pain and cramps in my thighs were intense. The bruises left from the billy club, on top of an injury, were gettin' almost too much to ignore. But now the problem of descendin' the stairs lay before me. My right leg was crampin' unless I held it straight. The trustee had positioned my horse so I had to mount on the far side.

Lom came over to me. "Good to have you out of there, Kid," he said while reachin' under my elbow and wordlessly offerin' me his support on the stairs. When I moved to the far side of my horse, I saw the same trustee that had always taken our horses when we came to see Heyes. The one I had let take the extra blankets.

He had set up a set of two wooden stairs where those standin' in the doorway watchin' couldn't see. He placed his hand on my rear end hidden from their view by my horse and steadied me as I mounted.

"Thank you, sir," I said.

He winked. "You're welcome, sir. Safe travels."

I pulled my horse around and saw the others were waitin' for me. Heyes pulled up next to me. With a sly grin, he put an apple in my hand. I took a big, juicy bite before tellin' him, "Thanks, partner." It tasted like heaven.

The prison wasn't even out of sight before I was doubtin' my decision to ride a horse to Cheyenne. But the looks from the warden and the two guards as I sat tall in the saddle and rode away were something I would remember. If they held any last hope that they had broke me, it died right there.

But now the pain in my back was intensified by the gait of the horse. We rode in silence. I think the others were followin' my lead and not talkin'. But when Lom's lead horse stopped suddenly, mine jerked to avoid him and I could not contain a loud groan. Once one escaped, more followed.

"Just a little while, Kid, less than a mile. Just out of sight of the prison. Can you hold on til then?" Lom had calmed his horse and was ridin' next to me.

I nodded but wasn't sure I could. Each laceration on my back was screamin' along its length. My head was poundin' through the wound the doctor had stitched back up on my temple in rhythm to the thumpin' of my horse's steps.

I felt my eyes closin' and did my best to keep them open. Lom grabbed my reins. "Just work on staying in that saddle. I ain't never met anybody as stubborn as you, Kid. Not far to go."

I knew we were still far closer to the prison than Cheyenne, so wasn't sure what Lom had planned. My eyelids had a will of their own and wanted to close. The pain was everywhere now, and I couldn't contain it. I caught myself slidin' to the side as my horse was brought to a stop.

"Nice to see you, Colin." The governor seemed amused. Colin was waiting for us in a grove of trees near the side of the road with a wagon.

Then, Lom, on his horse, was on one side of me. Dr. Arden was on the ground on the other. I slipped off the horse into his waitin' arms. I had a flash of Heyes watchin', his face filled with guilt from behind the governor's buggy.

I was carried and laid in the wagon that Colin had waitin'. Dr. Arden climbed in after me.

"Kid, I knew you'd never leave in a buggy or wagon no matter what I said, so I asked Colin to have a wagon waiting." Lom was watching me closely. "And bring you food."

I could only nod. They had laid me on my side, and I leaned forward to prevent my back from touchin' the blankets and pillows in the wagon.

Dr. Arden was washin' my back with cool water from his canteen. "Jed, I'm amazed you were able to walk out of there. Most men would be cryin' out from the pain, and you strode out of there like you were goin' for a walk on a spring day." The doctor's fingers gently probed my shoulder. "That wound from the fire was just about healed but now it's worse than it started out." Under his breath I could hear him swearin' about the warden.

Lom tied his horse to the back of the wagon and Colin moved to handle the buggy with the governor. My eyes caught Heyes on his horse waitin' patiently. I knew that look. He was waitin' patiently to be told what to do. Even talkin' was an effort but I called, "Lom," and pointed to Heyes.

"Heyes, follow the wagon," Lom yelled back to him.

"There's a change of plans," Dr. Arden announced with more force than I had ever heard him use. "We're going to the medical center I work at in Cheyenne. Both the governor and Jed need more medical attention than I can give them here."

There was something wrong with goin' there. I fought to stay awake until I knew what caused the fear that gripped my heart at his words. Then I remembered. I struggled to sit up, but only managed to hit the doctor's arm.

"Can't go there. Heyes' parole. One night in Cheyenne. HAS to go home today!" My voice grew stronger as I thought about the consequences of Heyes breakin' his parole conditions again. It wasn't going to happen. I would not let it.

I saw fear in Heyes' eyes, then terror as his breathin' grew fast and his upper body trembled. His rented horse tried to turn his head to see what was happenin' to his rider.

"I'll talk to the board, if I can get them together, and convince them the extra day is needed." I could tell it hurt the governor to speak. I guessed that the billy club had hit his rib.

"No. Takin' Heyes home today. Not takin' no chances on that board sayin' no." I cried out in anguish; the effort of saying the words sapped the last ounce of my strength. I couldn't fight the pain no longer and I let my eyes close into a painful darkness.