Title: Lost Without You
Author: Hayley
E-mail:
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own no one and the song is "Lost Without You" by Delta Goodrem
Distribution: Ask first please
I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out
Amy sobbed as she looked at him helplessly.
"Can't we fix things?" She asked desperately slamming her hands into her lap. "I don't understand where we went wrong…" She sniffled closing her eyes tightly.
He just stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, his head hung low. He fixated his eyes on the floor but cursed when he felt a tear slide down his cheek. He tried to hide his fear, his pain, his heartache from all of this but he knew he couldn't keep anything from her.
She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. She buried her head into his chest, wanting him to make everything okay.
"You know I need you…and I know that now." She spoke softly. "I was foolish to think otherwise. Please, just forget about the whole break thing, I want to be with you." Her voice was muffled and mixed with hiccups from crying. "I want to be with you…"
He planted a soft kiss on the side of her head. He didn't know what to do. He held her crying form, feeling her tears soak through his shirt. She leaned up and captured his lips softly but he pulled away.
"I can't do this Amy. I just can't…" His voice was shaky as he tried to hide how he felt. "I'm tired of this…" He pulled away completely from her grasp. "I can't…" He kept repeating as he shook his head. He grabbed his jacket before heading for the door. "I'm sorry…"
I thought I had all the answers
Never giving in
But baby since you've gone
I admit that I was wrong
Weeks had passed as Amy just barely made each day livable without him. Everything reminded her of him, a song, the couch, their bed. They did everything together so everything was a bitter sweet memory of him.
She sat on the porch as she watched the rain fall mercilessly before her. Pulling her knees to her chest, the blanket wrapped around her provided no warmth for her empty self. The rain fell in tune with her tears as she prayed that she'd see his car pull up into her driveway.
She waited for hours but knew he wouldn't be coming by anytime soon. She had left endless amounts of messages on his machine, tons of emails and anything else she could think of. Nothing seemed to work.
The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the porch roof seemed to be the only thing calming Amy. She stared blankly at the puddles on the road, not a single thought running through her mind that didn't involve Matt.
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
Walking through the halls of the arena, Amy dragged her heartbroken self through the corridors and into the Divas locker room. Her friends tried to comfort her but unless your name was Matt Hardy, she didn't want to hear from you.
Pulling off her shirt, she couldn't even bring herself to change. She broke into tears as she buried her face in her hands. A soft knock on the door sounded as someone went to answer it.
"Hey, I need help for my date tonight…" They trailed off as they saw who was there.
When there was silence, Amy looked up and whatever hope she had left had been completely shattered. Dropping his head, Matt walked away slowly.
The rest of the evening had gone by in a blur as Amy walked the halls in a daze but stopped when she saw him. With her. She laughed and stroked his arm leaning into him as she kissed him lightly on the lips. When they parted, he smiled but stopped when he saw her.
He looked at her, his heart wrenching into a thousand knots. Her face was pale, dark bags under her eyes. He knew she hadn't slept in weeks, all the life in her body completely non-existent. She was just a walking body, no life, no emotion, no nothing.
Releasing a shaky breathe, he led his date somewhere else as she was left there standing alone and stunned.
If we ever said we'll never be together
and we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way
but all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without you
On her way to her hotel, she stopped at a nearby beach and took off her shoes. The sand between her toes was something her and Matt had always done, taking nice long walks on the beach before they went to sleep. As she walked along the shore, she threw a rock into the ocean; a small splash was made before the ocean swallowed it up. If only it would take her with it. Wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm, she heard voices and when she turned, she saw a happy couple wrapped up in each others arms looking up at the stars. Her jaw quivering, Amy turned away unable to look at the sight of the two people doing what she longed to do with Matt just one more time. Just once more…
After seeing the couple, Amy knew she had to go back to her lonely hotel room and cry herself to sleep once more.
As she entered the lobby, she gathered her stuff before heading up. Once on her floor, just her luck, she saw him with her. He had just swiped his key card as he held the door open for her. Amy watched, as the girl she had seen him with earlier smiled and entered his hotel room. Looking up, he caught her watching her and the same feeling arose. Quickly, he headed inside before closing the door behind him.
Am I ever gonna get rid of these blues?
Baby i'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night
I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right
No I'm not too proud to say
Lying in the dark, she could hear the girl next door giggling. Closing her eyes and allowing the tears to fall, she rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball. She didn't understand how he could've moved on so fast while she was still hurting like there was nothing left to live for.
Her world had come to an end, yet he was able to pick up the pieces of his life and move on without her. It hurt, as the thoughts of what possibly could be going on with them in the next room tore through her.
Was he kissing her like he had kissed her? Was he going to whisper sweet nothings into her ear like he had done to her? Was he going to make sweet love to her like he had done to her so many times before?
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
The ride home was less than pleasant as she broke down on the plane and bawled her eyes out. He had watched her cry, and longed to hold her but instead kept to his new friend. One of his friends had comforted her, something he should be doing, before she fell asleep. He watched her sleeping form and it was far from peaceful. Her face was torn and broken, her heart that she wore on her sleeve bleeding mercilessly. It was like daggers driving into his heart as he knew how hard this was on her. It was hard on him too.
If we ever said we'll never be together
and we ended it with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you
A couple days had passed when Amy finally decided she knew what she had to do. Trying to fix herself up, she gave up as she got into her car and drove to the familiar home she had once called hers.
The lights were on in the kitchen as Amy turned off her car and sat there for a few moments. Weakly, she got out and walked up the steps one by one before standing on the porch as the light turned on. Softly knocking, she wasn't sure she had heard anything herself. Turning around, a strip of light shone through as a voice spoke. Amy turned back around only to see her wearing one of Matt's oversized t-shirts and a pair of boxers.
Choking back tears, she ran to her car as he stepped onto the porch to see who it was.
If I could only hold you now
Make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face
oh
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever said we'll never be together
and we ended it with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without you
Months had passed as she watched him grow closer with her. The pain remained the same as Amy didn't think she could ever repair her broken heart. Day by day her will to live diminished. What was the use living when the one thing she lived for didn't live for her in return? She couldn't even remember the last day she hadn't spent crying. Her life was completely turned upside down and everything was affected by it. Some days seemed worse than others as her heart ached for him it caused insurmountable amounts of pain to her already torn soul. She knew she had to learn how to move on, but every time she tried she failed miserably.
She was tired of crying over him and promised to start fresh. She knew she couldn't ever forget him or stop loving him but she had to stop thinking that anything could ever become of them again. Packing up the last of his things, she placed them in the back of her car.
Finally accepting it, she honestly tried to move on, but knew she'd always be lost without him.
I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without your love
I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is
I'm lost without you
I'm Lost without you
-The End-
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