Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, it's the best Christmas present of all! glompz Just on a note, this fic is only three chapters long, I had originally planned to get the final chapter up tomorrow, but since I might not get access to a computer then, I might have to finish this fic the day after. I know that the chapters are really long, but if I didn't make them that way, I wouldn't have been able to fit it for Christmas. This chapter is slightly dramatized at the end. ) Thank you for all your reviews, can't wait to read more. winks Merry Christmas!
The song "Happy Go Lucky" is © Steps.
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Somehow, not only for Christmas
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart's possessing
Returns to you glad.
( John Greenleaf Whittier )
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Chapter 2: Unforgivable Betrayal?
"Carly, what's wrong with you?" Aquana asked for the fifth time in the past twenty minutes, "This isn't like you, you haven't said anything for the past hour. Are you and Johnny not getting along?"
"No…" Carly said glumly, stirring her coffee and watching the white, creamy ripples in the liquid swirl within, "Johnny's fine, he went out with Enrique and Oliver to get toys for the orphanage."
"Then…is it that little boy you were taking care of in the orphanage?"
Carly sighed and sank down in her seat, laying her head on the table in front of her, "Ryan's still sick…I can't help but worry about him…"
"But there's something else," Aquana said thoughtfully, "You're acting strange, even for someone who's worried about an ill kid."
"Well, I'm not thinking about Michael Parker!" Carly snapped loudly.
"I…didn't say that…" Aquana said, looking taken back, "I didn't even mention Michael."
Carly groaned and buried her face in her arms, "Oh Aquana, let's not talk about it, okay?" She didn't want to tell her that Michael had seen her cry – nobody was supposed to see her cry. No one. Well, except for Johnny, that is. Crying was a sign of weakness, everyone knew that and he was the last person she would want to know about any of her weaknesses whatsoever.
"But if Michael's bugging you…"
"Michael Parker is not bugging me!" Carly exclaimed in frustration, "He doesn't have anything to do with me, all right?"
"Why do you keep doing that?" Aquana demanded.
"Doing what?" Carly blinked.
"Calling him by his full name," Aquana replied, drinking the last of lemon tea, "He's not a stranger or anything even though he's not exactly your best friend."
"Because it's easier," Carly said flatly, "It seems as if I have more of a distance from him that way."
Aquana just stared at her blankly, "Is she losing her mind? I can't make sense of anything she's saying…"
"Can we talk about Enrique instead?" Carly asked curiously.
"No, we cannot."
"Aw, Aquana, give him a break…"
"I've given him plenty of these so-called breaks!"
"Enrique's –"
"A girl can't wait around forever, can she?" Aquana declared, "And I'm through with waiting for him to settle down and stay in one freakin' place already!"
It was Carly's turn to stare at her perplexedly, "…Aquana?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Aquana said with a sigh, "I didn't mean to raise my voice like that, I just can't stand it anymore Carly – if Enrique wants to break up with me, he has but to tell me. I promise that I won't hold it against him, I just need to know. Otherwise, I'll go completely insane. Can you pleeeeeeeeeease talk to him for me? You know how I feel about Enrique."
"Don't fret, Aquana," Carly assured her, "I'll give him a good reprimanding, that's for sure. Coming? I've got to get to the orphanage and you can drop your toys off too."
"Of course!" Aquana said, grabbing her purse and a few bags beside her, "I'll wait while you go get your stuff."
"Right," Carly said, grabbing her bags and stuffing them into her leather bag, "Wish lists, check. Toys, check. Oh yeah, can't forget my keys."
There was the sound of a car horn outside and Aquana peered out from behind the white curtains inquisitively, "Oh…what's he doing here?"
"Ready!" Carly yelled, running in from the kitchen while struggling to strap on her watch, "Come on Aquana, we're going to be late."
"Don't look now Carly, but I think Michael's car is outside."
Carly immediately halted, stray strands of her brown hair falling loose from her braid, "Did…you say Michael?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's him," Aquana replied, "What's he doing here?"
"I don't know," Carly muttered, shoving on her snow boots as if she was angry with them, "What are you doing here Parker?" She snatched her bags and opened the door, "Let's go Aquana."
"Hey Aquana!" Michael called, "How's it going?"
"Fine," Aquana said, staring at him queerly, "Although…I should be asking you that – how's it going at the orphanage?"
"It's cool," Michael said nonchalantly, "Better than I had expected."
"Carly hasn't bitten your head off yet?"
A funny look crossed Michael's face at the mention of Carly before he shrugged, "Like I said, everything's cool. Hey, you ever going to forgive Enrique? Like, maybe sometime this century?"
Aquana gritted her teeth, "Enrique will have to apologize first before I consider forgiveness."
Michael was going to reply when Carly slowly came up behind Aquana after locking the door, his turquoise eyes flickered away from Aquana and landed on Carly as the wind ruffled her loosely braided hair with its breeze.
"Hi Michael," Carly said softly, her voice almost a whisper.
"Hey," Michael replied just as quietly.
Aquana was beginning to feel uncomfortable in the scene, feeling as if she was intruding on some private conversation that she had no business in being part of. Both of them were definitely acting very strangely – too strange for her taste and she cleared her throat. "Ummm…guys? You're going to be late, you know."
"Right," Michael said absent-mindedly with a cough, "Come on Carly, I'll give you a ride there, it's snowing really hard and you're going to catch a cold if you keep standing out there."
"Uh…okay," Carly said, shaking her head vigorously to clear it, "Are you coming Aquana?"
"Umm…why don't you guys just take my toys there for me?" Aquana suggested, sweatdropping, "I think I'm going to head home before it a snowstorm decides to drop in."
"Sure thing," Michael said, bending down to open his trunk, "Load'em in."
"Thanks," Aquana tossed her bags inside and waved cheerily as the car disappeared down the road, "See you guys later!" She stared up at the snow falling sky with a mystified look on her face, "I wonder what's going between those two…I could've sworn that – I'm probably just imagining things…I mean Michael and Carly? I've been watching too many movies…"
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"That Hannah's such a little devil sometimes," Mrs. Faraday said, tying string onto the paper snowflake. "I don't know how you two put up with her."
"I don't," Carly said, taking the strung snowflakes and starting up the ladder to start hanging, "She apparently idolizes Michael."
"Did someone say my name?" Michael asked mischievously, entering the room, "I thought I'd come here and give you guys a hand, they're really quiet in there with their Christmas cards and such."
"That's good, I'm going to go in the kitchen and fix things up there, we've got a big meal to cook on Christmas. Michael, see if you can help Carly out in here, okay?" Mrs. Faraday stood up and vanished briskly into the kitchen.
"Just in time Parker," Carly said, "Pass me the stapler, will you?"
"Sure," Michael strode over to get the stapler, "You have to decorate this whole place?"
"Not the whole thing, I'm just getting a head start on it, by the time we come tomorrow, the rest of the staff will have finished most of it," Carly said, reaching down for the stapler.
"Oh, anything I can help with presently?" Michael asked, accidentally hitting the ladder with his foot, causing the wooden structure to wobble unsteadily.
"Michael!" Carly gasped, grabbing onto the top of the ladder in shock, "Don't freak me out like that!"
"Sorry, it was an accident," Michael replied with a grin.
"Yeah right, Parker!" Carly retorted hotly, giving him a glare.
"It was," Michael protested, reaching over with a wicked gleam in his eyes, "You want to see me do it on purpose? This is on purpose!"
"Michael!" Carly yelped as the ladder swayed back and forth due to intensive shaking. "If I fall and break my neck, I'm going to sue you!"
Michael laughed, "Don't worry, if you fall, I'll be right here to catch you."
"Shut up Parker!" Carly snapped, flushing in embarrassment and hurrying to hang up the snowflakes before Michael could tease any further.
"Are you going to go to the mall later this afternoon to get their presents?" Michael asked as Carly climbed down from the ladder.
"Yeah," Carly said, tossing him a string of lights, "Here, catch. I want to get it all done today otherwise it's going to be absolutely hectic to shop tomorrow."
"You want me to help out?"
Carly shot him a wry smile, "Parker, I don't need you to help me out. But by all means, if you want to, it would be nice."
"Wouldn't it be an awful lot for you to carry by myself?" Michael inquired.
"I can handle it," Carly insisted, "I have my ways. If you're just going to tag along because you think that I can't manage it, no thanks!"
"I never said that!" Michael protested.
"Sounded like you were implying it," Carly retorted with smirk.
"All right, all right," Michael said with a laugh, "I give. I'll just come along to keep you company then."
Carly laughed, shaking her head, "Parker, you're going to ruin my reputation – you know the one where I'm not supposed to be within ten feet of you in public?"
"You actually build your reputation on keeping a distance from me?" Michael demanded, looking bewildered.
"Well, it's not my fault that you flirt with every single girl. I have to distinguish myself from the rest of the world's population somehow –"
"Is that a hint of jealousy?"
"Michael Parker!" Carly shouted, tossing her string of lights on him, "I can't believe you just said that! It's outrageous!" She whirled around and stormed out of the room, fuming.
"Come on, I was only joking," Michael called, pulling the tangle of lights off him and running after her to block her way. "Geez Carly, lighten up, will you?"
"Move move move!" Carly said with a scowl, "If this wasn't an orphanage, I would've slapped you as soon as you said that."
"I was only teasing," Michael repeated, "I didn't mean anything by it – it just slipped. Come on Carly, cheer up."
Carly pursed her lips tightly, glaring at Michael who gazed back at her with innocent blue eyes, "Well, don't let it 'slip' again Parker, otherwise I might accidentally let my fist slip."
"Carly…" a small voice came from behind and both Michael and Carly turned around to find Ryan standing at the doorway of the infirmary, rubbing his eyes.
"Ryan!" Carly immediately leaned down and scooped the little boy up, "You're going to catch a cold out here, didn't Mrs. Faraday tell you to say in bed?"
Ryan nodded solemnly, wrapping his small arms around Carly's neck tightly.
"Then why did you disobey?" Carly asked gently, shifting Ryan slightly, "Okay Ryan, you have to let go of me now before I choke to death."
Ryan immediately released Carly, his eyes reflecting a dim angelic light, "You didn't come to see me today."
"I know, sweetie," Carly murmured, tousling his hair fondly, "I was busy with a couple of things, I was going to see you later on today. Are you feeling any better?"
Ryan laid his head on her shoulder, shaking his head and flickering his dark blue eyes on Michael, "Who's he?"
"My classmate," Carly said absent-mindedly, "Ryan, you have to go back and lie down, all right? Sleep lots and drink lots of fluids, that's the key to getting better, okay?" She turned around and headed back to the infirmary, catching Michael's eye along the way – sadness and anxiety reflecting in her emerald eyes.
"She's doesn't think he's going to make it," Michael realized as Carly disappeared into the infirmary, "And frankly, I don't know if he will either…we can only hope for the best…"
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"You should've turned your engine off, Michael!" Carly declared, rushing into the house, "The heater's going to run like crazy in that snowy weather."
"It's okay," Michael assured her, "It'll keep the car interior warm, besides, you said that you'll only be a minute."
"That is if I can find my things," Carly said, tossing her bag on the sofa beside Johnny, who was watching TV and drinking hot chocolate. "Afternoon Johnny!" she yelled, kicking off her shoes and dashing upstairs.
Johnny muted his show and craned his neck just in time to see Carly vanish up the stairs, "Where's the fire? Oh hey, Michael – do you want something to drink?"
"No, it's okay, I'm leaving in a minute anyways," Michael said, declining, "Hey – how's Enrique?"
"Awful."
"Still lost?"
"Lost is an understatement," Johnny snorted, "I'm not even sure if he and I live on the same planet anymore! I tried calling Aquana for him today and she blew me off. So I told him to go talk to her face-to-face and he chickened out."
"Don't worry, Johnny – I'll have a talk with Enrique!" Carly yelled from upstairs, "It's Christmas in a couple of days, and they can't be angry at each other then! Hey, I found it!" With that, she came tearing downstairs while shoving a few papers into her coat pocket. Pulling on her boots again, she spoke rapidly, "Johnny, if Aquana calls for me, tell her that I'll call her back tonight. I'm going to the mall for a few hours – I'll be back before dinner though, so you won't have to worry about cooking. Goodness, last time you were in the kitchen, I thought an atomic bomb blew up in there. If Enrique calls, tell him not to do anything stupid until I get to him, all right? And if Oliver calls, tell him that I'll be at his house in a couple of hours. I think that –"
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Johnny interrupted, "Slow down, I can't remember it all. Where the heck are you going in this weather?"
"The mall, I have to pick up the toys for the orphans," Carly replied hastily, the heat in the house flushing her cheeks, "Can I go now, Michael's car is spluttering outside in the snow."
"Hold your horses!" Johnny cut in with a frown, "You're going to the mall – with him?"
"I'm one of your best friends for Heaven's sake!" Michael protested, glaring at Johnny.
"Yes," Carly said impatiently, tossing her messy braided hair, "Johnny, I would love to play 20 Questions with you later, okay? Try not to become too lonely, all right? But I really need to go –"
However, Johnny wasn't listening, he was too busy staring at Michael suspiciously, "Okay, 'fess up, what's going on here?"
"I have no clue what you're talking about!" Michael protested again, looking at Carly for confirmation.
"Johnny!" Carly wailed, "Have you lost your mind or something? We need to go! Why are you looking at me like that?"
Johnny looked disapprovingly from Michael to Carly, a deep scowl on his face before finally taking a deep breath and asking carefully, "Since when were you two so friendly?"
"Johnny," Michael snapped, "Would you quit that? I know what you're thinking, but it's not like we're dating or something –"
Carly rolled her eyes and interrupted swiftly, not to mention sarcastically, "Johnny dear, you know that I love all your friends. So if you'd excuse us, I'll see you later! Bye!" She grabbed Michael's sleeve and yanked him outside in a flash, with the door swinging shut behind them.
"What the hell was that all about?" Johnny wondered, shaking his head, "I thought Aquana was kidding…but now this…?"
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"So how does this work?" Michael asked, peering over Carly's shoulder at the list in her hands, "We can split that in half and we'll be done in no time."
"Right," Carly agreed, "We'll buy the item and charge it to the orphanage's bank account. Make sure you get the right item though. We can drop them off today at the orphanage when we're done and wrap them tomorrow. Most of them believe in Santa, so we can just say it was from him."
"Why? Don't you believe in him?" Michael teased.
Carly made a face at Michael, "I gave up believing dreams a long time ago – I believe in Santa Clause as much as I believe in love, which is zip."
"Carly," Michael started, "I think –"
"But a few of the kids don't believe in Santa Clause, we can say that it was from us," Carly interrupted thoughtfully, "I know Ryan doesn't."
I'm sure that Ryan would rather get a present from you than from a fictitious character any day," Michael added.
The comment made Carly smile, her emerald eyes lighting up, "Thanks Michael."
Michael looked surprised, but smiled as well, "Anytime. Now, let's get this show on the road, shall we? The sports store is over there, I'll go get some of the sports stuff that those kids want."
"You get along really well with Hannah," Carly remarked, "It's surprising because she's such a little princess sometimes."
"Hey, she likes baseball," Michael said with a grin, "It's not so hard to work with once you share the same interest. At the rate she's going, I wouldn't be surprised to see her starring in junior leagues soon."
"Hannah doesn't believe in Santa either," Carly reminded, "She thinks it's…errr…stupid and she keeps bugging poor Brianna about it. So you can say the gifts are from you. A couple of the other boys don't believe either, Paul and Eric…we'll just sign Mrs. Faraday on those."
"Sounds like a plan," Michael agreed, "What's this you're going to get Ryan?"
"Some sort of advanced controlled spaceship thing," Carly said, "I looked it up on the internet yesterday and the latest model has some features that Ryan would really love – I'm not using the orphanage's money for it. I'm going to buy it myself."
Michael whistled, "You're really going all out for him, aren't you? I'm sure he'll appreciate it a lot."
"He's just a kid, Michael," Carly said, "He's such a sweet little boy and he deserves so much more. If he would just get better, I'd get him anything he wanted."
"Okay, let's split – I'll go to the sports store and you can dig out some of those dolls in that store for the girls," Michael said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
Carly made a face at him, "Why do I have to go to a doll store and you to a sports store?"
"I'm a guy! I can't go into a doll store!"
"That is so sexist!" Carly declared, laughing at the incredulous look on Michael's face.
"That's the way it is," Michael teased, turning around and waving briefly without looking back, "See you later!"
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"Hey Parker!" a deep male voice called.
Michael looked up from his choice of baseballs and nodded towards the slick teenage boy who was walking towards him with his arms around two girls' shoulders. "Hey Travis."
"Whatcha doing, buddy?" Travis asked, running his finger smoothly through his perfectly gelled black hair.
"Just some Christmas errands," Michael replied nonchalantly, fluttering his list in the air, "What about you? On another date? Or should I say double date?"
"Nah, me and the girls here are just hanging around," Travis answered, grinning as the two girls beside him giggled, "What is that Parker?" He snatched the paper from Michael's hand and scanned through it quickly, "Baseball, football, toy truck, fire truck…what are you doing, man? Babysitting for a nursery or something?"
"Very funny," Michael said dryly, taking back the list in annoyance and picking up a couple more items, "It's my community service junk thing, you know, the one we've all got to do to pass class?"
Carly, who had found nothing for the first part of her list at the doll store, just arrived and was going to go in to give Michael a hand when she noticed Travis and his female "companions." Hearing the mention of the orphanage, Carly didn't interrupt, but rather stood slightly behind the arrangement of skateboards and listened.
"That's what you're doing? Babysitting?" Travis cracked up, snickering.
"Not quite," Michael corrected, feeling his face flush at Travis' ridicule, "I'm working at the nearby orphanage."
"Babysitting," Travis confirmed with another laugh, "Haven't you nothing better to do?"
"Hey, I want to pass class, don't I?"
"Looking after a bunch of whiny brats doesn't sound like too much fun to me," Travis shrugged, "But, hey, if you're into that kind of stuff…"
From her hiding spot, Carly struggled to maintain control over her rising fury, clenching and unclenching her fists to refrain from leaping out and socking Travis in the eye.
"Nah, you know that I'm just messing around till I get my hours," Michael said casually.
"So, what's it like?" one of the girls purred, "Any cute kids?"
"You know it's like at those orphanages, babe," Travis said, slinging his arm over her shoulders, "A bunch of riff raff kids without proper parents, probably 'cause there was something wrong with them or something. Or too troublesome for the parents to handle, ain't I right, Parker?"
"Yeah, something like that," Michael said, cracking a grin, "Most orphanages are like that, after all, unwanted kids don't have many other places to go to."
"If they're unwanted, they should just leave them out in the streets until they die," Travis cracked up, "It's a waste of good money and food on them."
Carly couldn't believe what she was hearing; the anger boiling inside her was so great that she could barely contain it. The sound of their laughter and ridicule was almost too much to bear…even worse, Michael was just bad with the taunts."
"How did you get into a place like that anyways?" Travis was asking, "You just stopped by an orphanage and waited to see if they'd pick you up?"
Michael shrugged, "Through Johnny's sister, she works there."
"Right, the hottie with a bad temper, right?" Travis asked, "It's no wonder she can't get a date, with that kind of temper, she'd scare them all away." He smiled slyly, "Unless, that's another reason you're there."
"Oh, shut up Travis!" Michael said with a good-natured smile.
Travis clucked his tongue, grinning wickedly and giving Michael a friendly punch on the shoulder, "Hey, you are good, Parker. That's why you're there, isn't it? Picking up your hours and maybe you'll get lucky with the girl, nice going, buddy. Like I said, anything to get the girl – once you've got her hooked up, she's all yours."
"Maybe in my dreams!" Michael laughed.
One of the girls fluttered her eyelashes at Michael flirtatiously, "If she won't go out with you, I will."
"Hey, no stealing my girls," Travis warned with a cocky smirk, "We're going to go grab a bite to eat now, nice talking with ya Parker. Let me know how this whole orphanage joke turns out, okay? Come on ladies, it's on me…"
Michael watched at Travis disappeared with the girls and shook his head, turning back to his list, "Sometimes, Travis drives me crazy…real crazy…"
Trembling in anger, Carly shook her head slowly, blinking back angry tears and running out of the sports store as fast as her legs could carry her.
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A while later, Carly leaned against the wall of the corridor between two stores with a bitter smile on her, watching as Michael went past in search of her. "I'm so stupid!" she thought miserably as she closed her eyes painfully, "Michael Parker, you're the cruellest person in the whole world! I can't believe that I was so naïve to fall for your idiotic tricks!" She considered confronting him and giving him a harsh piece of her mind, but relented. There was no way she could face him now and not fall into pieces. She would have to scream at him when she was ready to do it without the possibility of bursting into tears.
Swallowing hard and blinking back tears that were threatening to fall, Carly made her way past the huge crowds to the astronomy shop to find a few glow-in-the-dark presents for the orphans and Ryan's spaceship. Her heart was obviously not set to it; all she wanted was to go home, throw herself on her bed, and cry. Nonetheless, she was determined to finish her job and the motivation of Ryan's cheerful smile kept her in one piece. Gathering the stars and planets glow toys, Carly searched for the spaceship box in the midst of the other customers.
Scanning other boxes in the dim light and passing an "Out of Stock" neon orange sign, Carly sighed, "Gosh, it's so dark in here, how do they expect anyone to see what they're buying if the lights are never on? Oh right, I forgot, they're showcasing those glow-in-the-dark objects. Screw it – I'll just ask for assistance."
She approached the salesperson, "Excuse me, where can I find the Tempest Spaceship…um…" Pausing, she squinted at the list in her hand, "…Model X53J9?"
"We're sold out," the salesman said irritably.
Feeling as if someone had splashed icy water all over her once again, Carly struggled to contain her emotions, "Excuse me?"
"We're sold out," the salesman repeated in annoyance, gesturing to the neon orange "Out of Stock" sign, "Can't you read? Get out of the way, there are other customers waiting to pay for their stuff. Kids these days…"
Carly numbly moved out of the way of the edgy customers, staring at the sign as if not quite believing what she was seeing, "This can't be happening…" She took a deep breath and stood defiantly in the store, waiting until most of the customers paid for their stuff.
"You're still here?" the salesman snapped, "If you're not going to buy anything, get out."
Carly resisted the urge to yell at the salesman for being a rude jerk and managed to contain her rising fury, "I just wanted to know if you'll be getting more shipments of the Tempest Spaceship tomorrow."
"No, kid," the salesman barked, "We were the last store in the mall to have a stock of them and now we're sold out for good. They went out like a candle in a storm, so fast because the model was so popular. You'll have to find something else for Christmas. Good day."
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Taking a deep shuddery breath, Carly trudged slowly out of the mall, tears slipping down her face. Everything seemed to be falling apart; now, she couldn't even buy Ryan the present he wanted. And Michael had no idea how much those words hurt, how painful it was to hear it spoken from someone she genuinely thought was different than whom she had expected. Cars were streaming down the snow-covered road impatiently, with each driver anxious to return home before dark to spend time with their families – after all, Christmas was a time for family and love. Those who have neither have no reason to celebrate or be joyous for the event.
Carly sank down on the snow-covered bench with an exasperated sigh, ignoring as people stared at her while they were walking by – no doubt wondering why a solitary girl was sitting in the cold of winter all by herself a couple of days before Christmas. Snowflakes fell from the grey skies, kissing her cheeks lightly with their cold touch and melting onto her skin while mixing with her tears.
Reaching up to brush her messy hair back and giving up when the wind insisted on blowing her hair in every way, Carly angrily yanked the barrette from her braid and released her hair. The wind tossed and twirled her hair in all directions as she tucked stray strands sadly behind her ear. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that Michael was a total fake or that there was no way for her to get Ryan's gift now.
"I can't believe that I actually believed him – I can't believe that I fell for his silly antics. I'm such an idiot! What's worse is that I still don't want to believe it and I'm still trying not to believe it. My head knows that Michael is a no-good, stinking jerk but my heart's still trying to come up with excuses for him. Get over yourself Carly! Michael will always be Michael, untrustworthy, undependable, and conceited – the sooner I drill that fact into my head, the better!"
Carly stood up and walked to the nearest payphone, dialling in her house number and praying that Johnny was home. However, after seven rings, there was still no pick up and Carly hung up desolately. "He might have gone over to Enrique's…and I don't want to bother Aquana when she's so distressed over her own problems. There's one person left to call then."
She put in another quarter and dialled Oliver's number, "Hello? May I speak with Oliver please? Thank you." Carly waited tiredly, shivering in the cold, as the butler put the phone on hold to retrieve Oliver.
"Hello? Oliver speaking."
The sound of a familiar voice almost made Carly break down again and she brought the receiver closer to her mouth, her voice quivering, "O-Oliver?"
"Carly? Carly, are you all right?"
"I'm downtown," Carly whispered in the phone, bitter tears stinging her eyes again, "Do you have time to come down and help me finish this task?"
"Of course, Carly – are you all right?"
"It's a long story, Oliver. I don't want to talk about it."
"All right then, I'll be down there as soon as I can. Wait for me at the entrance."
Carly hung up the phone slowly, feeling the empty void in her heart expanding as it did so many years ago. She bit her lip bitterly, drawing the metallic taste of blood in her mouth as hot tears burned at her eyes and blurred her vision considerably. "Are you happy Michael Parker? Are you happy now? You won."
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"Oh man!" Michael cried, wiping his forehead wearily as he came to a halt in front of the wishing fountain containing a pool of shiny pennies shimmering in the light, "Where the heck did she disappear to??" He had searched the entire mall, first floor, second floor, even the parking lot, but there was no sign of Carly at all. "I've only stopped to talk to a couple of people for a couple of minutes and she's completely gone!"
"Man…this is ridiculous…" Michael muttered, shaking his blond hair out of his eyes impatiently, "I've been running around for an hour now and people are looking at me like I've gone insane or something. There's such a huge crowd in here – I'll never, ever find her in this mass even if I looked my hardest!"
He looked around again frantically, trying to stay upright in the midst of the shoving people, "Geez Carly, thanks for disappearing without letting me know. Honestly…I give up. I'll make one more run, then I guess I'll go home, there's no use hanging around here – I have to get the rest of these toys back to orphanage. Carly's smart, if I don't find her, she'll be able to take the bus back or something." Sighing, he broke into a run again.
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Carly leaned down on the bench, keeping her head down sadly, her bangs shadowing her eyes darkly. Her head was spinning with all the miserable things that were happening, not one happy thought was going through her mind at all. Hugging herself tightly, Carly sighed again, she was sick of letting people see her cry; she resolved not to let another tear drop unless she was alone or back home with Johnny.
Just then a shadow fell over her and she looked up to see the concerned face of Oliver who was bending down slightly and holding out his hand to her.
Carly took his hand, letting him pull her up and hugging her. Oliver was just as close to her as Johnny and Enrique were, but she was so numb with the feeling of betrayal that his hug did nothing to melt the hardening ice within her heart.
Pulling back gently, Oliver looked in her eyes with his own concerned ones, "What happened Carly? I'm one of your best friends, you can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone – it's not good to keep things to yourself like that."
"It's nothing," Carly replied emptily, "It's my own fault."
"I can hardly believe that Carly –"
"It is my own fault, Oliver. I don't want to talk about it, please. Can you help me gather the rest of these toys from this list and drive me to the orphanage to drop them off?"
"Anything you want," Oliver promised, deciding not to pester her further for details, "You should've called me to help to begin with, it's a ridiculous amount for a single person to carry."
"Well, I thought that Michael –" Carly started before breaking off abruptly and closing her mouth with a grim look on her face, "Never mind."
Unfortunately for her, Oliver was one of those people who were really good at picking up hints, both verbal and physical, and putting them together piece by piece to figure out what the problem was. Therefore, judging from her expression and the worry expressed by both Johnny and Aquana earlier, not to mention the reluctance to mention Michael, Oliver had pretty much guessed the problem.
Carly sniffed and looked up at him questioningly, "You know, don't you?"
Oliver nodded silently, "The gist of it, yes. Not all the details, of course. But it's okay if you don't want to talk about it, I completely understand."
Carly put her arms around his neck and hugged him, "You're the best Oliver, but you were wrong. I was right before – he's nothing but a self-centered, selfish jerk."
Oliver said nothing in reply, neither admitting wrong nor insisting right.
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After Oliver and Carly made their rounds around the mall to pick up the rest of the gifts, Oliver drove them both to the orphanage to drop them off.
"You want me to help you load them in?" Oliver asked, starting to get out of the car.
"No, that's okay," Carly replied with a forced smile, "You've done more than enough already, thank you for all your help. You can go home now, before the storm gets any worse – I'll get these inside."
"But Carly…I have to drive you home –"
"Thanks Oliver, but no thanks," Carly interrupted, running her fingers through her messy hair distractedly, "I want to stay here for a short while – I'll walk home myself."
"But –"
"Oliver, please," Carly said firmly.
Oliver started to argue, but closed his mouth with a sigh, "If that it what you wish."
"Thank you."
"But be home before," Oliver glanced quickly at his watch, "five o'clock please. Otherwise, your brother will have my head."
"I will," Carly promised sincerely, "Thanks again." She grabbed the bags and watched as Oliver slowly pulled out and drove away.
From behind her, the orphanage door opened and Mrs. Faraday poked her head out, "Goodness child, you'll freeze out there, hurry inside this instant!" She hurried outside and ushered Carly inside, scolding and taking some of her bags.
"I'm all right," Carly assured her, rubbing her hands together by the fire as soon as she dropped the bags, "I wasn't out there for long. I got most of the stuff."
"That's wonderful Carly!" Mrs. Faraday exclaimed, "Michael came by earlier to drop off the things he got as well."
Carly flinched at the mention of Michael's name but she bit on her lower lip firmly to prevent any insults from flying from her mouth.
Mrs. Faraday didn't seem to notice, "Now that we have everything, we're all set – you guys can wrap the presents tomorrow while the rest of the staff decorates the dining room. Did you invite all your friends to the Christmas dinner as well? A very nice young man who said that he was your brother came by earlier as well with his friends and gave us some more toys."
To Carly, Mrs. Faraday's voice seemed very distant and she shook herself back into reality, "Huh? I'm sorry, I drifted off. Yes, I'll invite my friends over, they'd love to come, thank you."
"Which reminds me, you should give Michael a call, honey," Mrs. Faraday added, "He told me that he lost you somewhere in the mall earlier so he came by himself, but he seemed quite worried and –"
"Thank you Mrs. Faraday," Carly interrupted, her voice icy cold, "I'll get back to him sometime. If you would excuse me, I'm really tired, can I take a look at Ryan before I leave?"
Mrs. Faraday looked extremely surprised at the sudden change in tone of Carly's voice, but she nodded, "He woke up a while ago and kept asking where you were. The poor child, he seems so weak. It's a shame that he has to go through this every winter."
Carly nodded, a lump forming in her throat, "Then I'll go check on him, you can go take care of your own business, there's no need to wait up for me, I'll just let myself out when I'm done. Thank you."
Mrs. Faraday stared after the girl as she disappeared into the infirmary, "Carly seems a little upset just then…more than usual. I wonder what happened…it's such a shame at this time of the year to feel so down…"
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When Carly entered the room, Ryan was lying on floor in the dimly-lit room, doodling with a black pencil crayon. He looked very lonely as he coloured the stars in his drawing with one arm propped up to support his head.
Carly smiled faintly and spoke softly, "Look who's here Ryan."
Ryan looked up in surprise and broke into a delighted smile, dropping his pencil crayon and running to her with his arms outstretched, "Carly!"
Falling on her knees, Carly reached out and gathered him in her arms, hugging him tightly, "How's my favourite little boy? Hmm?"
"Mrs. Faraday said that you wouldn't be coming today," Ryan said, burying his face in her shoulder, "But I'm glad you did. I always feel worse when you're gone."
"Don't say that Ryan," Carly coaxed, feeling his forehead and stroking his cheek, "I'm so sorry that you're still feeling poorly."
"I drink everything that Mrs. Faraday brings," Ryan declared, "Because you said it is good for me."
"Good for you, sweetie," Carly said, trying to keep her voice from breaking and putting her hands on his shoulders, "Now, I've got to run home now before my brother kills me, okay? I'll come again tomorrow, be a good boy, all right?"
Ryan nodded obediently, "Guess what Carly? I dreamed that I was flying in a spaceship! All the way out to the stars and the moon! It was so cool!"
Carly tried to smile, but it came out weakly, "Well, I'm glad that you're having happy dreams, but I've really got to go now." She reached out and hugged him tightly, pressing his body against hers comfortingly with tears stinging her eyes.
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Love, all my love was yours,
Of this I was so sure,
I guess I never saw it coming baby,
But now I'm over the surprise,
I'm wearing this disguise,
So everyone can think I'm having fun baby,
The world only sees me smiling,
My pillow knows the truth at night,
'cause that's where I hide my sorrow…
"It's not fair!" Carly yelled in the midst of the snowstorm, "It's not fair!" Her voice was drowned in the roaring of the strong winds. The beating snow and the freezing winds threatened to overwhelm her physically, but it was the emotional torture that was succeeding in the overwhelming. With thoughts of Michael and Ryan altering in her mind and helpless to do otherwise, tears gradually slipped down her cheeks and splashed on snow-covered ground.
And they call me happy go lucky,
They don't know my heart is dying inside,
A smile's a frown turned upside down,
I do my happy go lucky so well,
I'm even fooling myself
Carly trudged slowly through the thick snow, dragging her boots through as if they weighed a million pounds. The snow was melting in her hair and wetting it considerably until water droplets slowly slid down strands of her hair and trickled down her face, mixing snow water and her tears together to fall on the ground. She ran her fingers carelessly through her hair to brush it back, tossing her damp hair out of her face.
If Johnny could see her walking through the snow without her hood and gloves on and the weather freezing and damping her like this, he would undoubtedly freak out. But Johnny seemed so far away and the comfort of his gruff voice and bluntly honest concern seemed to freeze readily when it met up against her frozen heart. The weather outside was nowhere as cold as the frostiness of her heart.
When I see the morning light,
I put on this facade,
It's all I have to protect my pride,
It's all I've got, this smile is all I've got
It was rapidly getting darker outside and she had promised Oliver that she would be home before five, so Carly headed on her way home. She felt bitterly disappointed, bitterly betrayed, and bitterly used. Her mouth curled up to a resentful smile as she laughed cynically to herself, "Parentless, unwanted, troublesome kid, am I? Huh, Michael Parker? That's exactly what I was – and what I will always be. You're right Michael Parker."
Tossing her wet hair back again as she felt a fresh wave of tears flood her eyes, "I hope you're happy. You've won after all – you got what you wanted and I'm left in pieces. Are you happy now? Huh? You enjoy being cruel and conceited? Well, never again – I will never, ever let you see me cry again!"
And they call me happy go lucky,
They don't know my heart is dying inside,
A smile's a frown turned upside down,
I do my happy go lucky so well,
I'm even fooling myself…
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Carly walked through the snow despondently, ignoring the curious glances of the people in the cars passing by until she reached her house, unlocking the door and entering the house. The sky was nearly darkened to a deep navy blue and the snow was getting worse outside. Johnny's mansion was considerably warmer and she kicked off her boats furiously.
"Carly, is that you?" Johnny called, coming down the stairs, "Oliver told me that you were –" He was cut off abruptly when he saw her, "Good Lord! Carly, you're soaked from head to toe! You're going to catch pneumonia at this rate, take off your coat and get into something warm this instant! Blow-dry your hair while you're at it and come down by the heat when you're done!"
Carly nodded silently, tossing her drenched, water-proof jacket on the floor and walking slowly up the stairs.
Johnny shook his head in disbelief, picking up her dripping jacket and hanging it up to dry. He quickly turned up the heater and made a steaming cup of hot chocolate while waiting for Carly to come back down.
A short while later, Carly reappeared and plopped down emotionlessly by the heater, tossing out her hair before quietly re-braiding it.
"Here, drink it up," Johnny ordered, handing her the cup, "And tell me what on Earth you were doing out there in the midst of that storm! You could've pretty well froze to death in this weather, are you insane? Didn't I tell you to dress appropriately for the weather? If you needed a ride, you could've called and I would've been there to pick you up instead of letting you drench yourself!"
"I didn't need a ride," Carly said sullenly.
"Don't you use that tone with me –"
"I said that I didn't need a ride."
"You want to freeze to death?"
"I never said that."
"Don't you give me that silent treatment of yours!" Johnny raged, his amethyst eyes flashing, "If –"
"Johnny, just SHUT UP!" Carly yelled, banging down her cup onto the coffee table nearby.
A long silence followed as neither of them spoke. The only sound was the slow ticking of the ancient grandfather clock in the living room and the slow and steady wispy sound of the air circulating through the heater.
Even though she felt like crying again, Carly was too exhausted to draw up anymore tears. She just stared at the heater ashamedly, "I'm sorry Johnny."
Johnny let out a slow sigh, his eyes softening as he sat down beside her, "What's wrong?"
"Everything," Carly said in frustration, "Everything, Johnny. Everything is wrong and there's nothing you can do about it."
"I can listen," Johnny said kindly, "Try me, Carly. If you don't tell me, who would you tell?"
"All right," Carly gave in, too tired to argue any further, "Everything's wrong. The fact that you guys made Michael work at the orphanage! Ryan's still very sick and he's not showing any signs of getting better – it just looks like it'll be a repeat of what happened last year. And…and I don't think I can go through with it if it does happen all over again. I just c-can't! Enrique and Aquana aren't even looking at each, not to mentioning talking! I tried to buy the toy that Ryan wanted and the stupid stores were all sold out. Now I have no present for him! And Michael – he…he…" She swallowed down her fury, banging her fist against the floor.
Johnny listened quietly before finally speaking, "I understand that you might be upset about Ryan, you told me his condition a couple days ago and it's unfortunate that you couldn't get him the toy he wanted. As for Aquana and Enrique, they'll work it out themselves somehow – it's best if we don't interfere too much. But this isn't about any of those things, sure they played a part in it, but the real problem is Michael, isn't it?"
Carly said nothing, pursing her lips grimly and staring hard at the floor as if trying to drill a smoking hole in it with her glare alone.
"Come on Carly, tell me what Michael did. He called a while ago, asking me if you came home yet – he said that he lost you at the mall. Thankfully Oliver had called me earlier to tell me where you were otherwise I would've freaked."
"Michael didn't do anything," Carly said tightly.
"Honestly Carly," Johnny said, shaking his head, "You know that I know you better than that. You truthfully think that I would believe you if you said that Michael played no part in your sudden desire to cry?"
"I'm not crying!"
"Oh Carly," Johnny said, reaching out and hugging her, "So many years and you still think you can fool me? You've been crying, I can tell. Now, I want to know what it's all about. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't listen to your problems?"
Carly sniffed, feeling slightly better at Johnny's comfort. Johnny, no matter how much she took her anger out on him, no matter how rough he seem, no matter what, was always there for her – he was the single person she could always count on. Taking a deep breath, Carly spilled out the story and what she had overheard Michael say.
"Oh man…" Johnny groaned, wondering to himself why Michael had such a big mouth, "Carly, he doesn't know -"
"It doesn't matter!" Carly snapped, "It doesn't matter if he knew or not, he still shouldn't have said those things and joked about them with his friends. You know how I feel about this Johnny; you know that it's wrong! I'll never forgive him, ever!"
Johnny winced, "I can't exactly blame you there, but he is my friend. And I really don't think he meant those things, you know how his ego is."
Carly shook her head, messing up her hair purposely, "I don't care. I don't care if his ego's the size of Jupiter, it's not an excuse. I hate him! I despise him to Hell –"
"That's enough," Johnny said sternly, putting his hands on her shoulders comfortingly, "I know you're angry, but try to let it out, okay? I think you should go upstairs and lie down for a while, try to calm yourself."
Carly nodded, letting out a shaky breath, she was too tired of crying to cry anymore. Standing up, she trudged up the stairs, pausing in the middle and turning back, "Johnny?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry for yelling."
"That's all right," Johnny assured her, "You know I won't hold it against you."
Carly could feel tears well up in her eyes again, not because of bitter resentment, but because of Johnny's obvious concern for her. She went downstairs again and threw her arms around him, "Thank you…"
Johnny looked embarrassed, "All right, all right, don't get all emotional on me. Go rest up, okay?"
"Okay," Carly replied before hurrying up the stairs, pausing yet again in the middle, "Um…Johnny?"
"What is it now?" Johnny asked patiently.
Carly looked down at the floor tentatively, "I really thought that Michael was different. I really did."
Johnny's smile faded and he nodded, "I'm sure you did."
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Michael yawned, stretching as he got out of the car after parking at the orphanage. He was quite exhausted from running around all of yesterday and slightly annoyed that Carly never returned his phone call like he had asked. He jangled his keys lightly in his hand before shoving them in his pocket, "The weather sure isn't any better than yesterday, if anything, it looks awful worse. Looks like a blizzard might be rushing in any moment now."
Neglecting to stop by Johnny's home to pick her up because he knew that she would've left already, Michael had decided to arrive a little earlier today as well to help with the wrapping. He strode to the entrance and went inside.
"Oh, good afternoon Michael, you're early," Mrs. Faraday said in pleasant surprise, bustling out of the kitchen busily, "If you'd excuse me, the kids are all kept busy with their Christmas cards and most of the staff is in the dining room, decorating it. Carly's wrapping the presents you two bought yesterday in that room over there, so you can go join her. I'm really sorry, but I'm too busy to stand and chat any longer." With that, she hurried away.
"Thank you!" Michael called, before heading into the designated room.
Carly was concentrating on slicing the wrapping paper with a pocket knife, stray strands of her brown hair falling in her face as she worked. She obviously didn't notice his entrance and her mind seemed to be elsewhere.
"Hey Carly," Michael said, shrugging out of his coat.
Carly gave a gasp, the knife slipping and cutting across her finger, "Ow!" She winced as blood slowly dripped out of her fresh cut.
Michael hurried over, his turquoise eyes alarmed, "Are you all right? Do you need –?"
"Stay away from me!" Carly snapped, her emerald eyes flashing the iciest glare he had ever seen.
"Carly…?" Michael looked bewildered, "What's up? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you –"
"Right," Carly said with a bitter laugh, "I'm sure you're sorry. That's a laugh, a real laugh. If I wasn't so disappointed I'd be hysterical with laughter right about now. What are you doing here?"
"I-I…" Michael was too shocked for words, briefly wondering if Carly had lost her mind but assuring himself that if Carly had indeed lost her mind, Johnny would never let her out of his sight. "I work here, remember?"
Carly slammed down the knife on the table, causing Michael to flinch, "There's no need for that anymore. Get out Parker."
"Carly, I don't understand –"
"I said get out!"
"Carly –"
"GET OUT!" Carly yelled, not caring if all the children in the other room heard her, "I don't ever want to see your stupid face ever again!"
"At least give me a reason –" Michael started, backing away nervously. Carly looked angry enough to kill him on the spot and he still had no clue why.
"You want a reason?" Carly hissed, "You want a reason? I'll give you a reason! Why do you even bother hanging around here if you think so lowly of the orphanage?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Michael protested, "Carly, can we sit down and talk about this –?"
"I'm through with talking with you Michael Parker!" Carly snarled, pointing one shaking finger at him and her eyes smouldering like hot coals, "You think you're all that because you've got the whole works, a good home, a nice family – well, these kids have nothing. Absolutely nothing! But that doesn't mean you can treat them with disrespect or superiority!"
"I've never –"
"Shut up!" Carly ordered, "Just shut up! Stop poisoning me with your lies, I'm sick of it! I won't fall for them twice. You've got a lot of nerve, stringing me along like a sap –"
"Carly, I don't know what you're talking about!" Michael hollered above her voice, "Please, just calm down –"
"Get out!" Carly commanded, reaching out and shoving him in the chest, hurling him into the door, "Get out of my sight! Get out!"
Michael winced as he hit the door, tumbling out into the hall with a thud, "Carly –"
Carly stormed outside after him, her eyes blazing like a predator stalking her prey, "Get out! The orphanage doesn't need someone like you! Maybe, these kids are unwanted by their parents, but there's nothing wrong with them! It's not their fault that their parents abandoned them!"
"I know that –"
"That's just lies! More lies!" Carly shouted, causing Michael to back away slowly.
At the commotion of the voices, Mrs. Faraday came rushing into the room, "What on Earth –" She stopped at the doorway at the sight of a thoroughly enraged Carly and an extremely confused Michael, "Carly, Michael, what's wrong?"
The receptionist was staring at them with her mouth open as well, her spectacles sliding down her nose.
"I despise you, Michael Parker!" Carly said, her voice trembling as her eyes shone with tears, "I really thought you were different, but you turned out worse than I imagined! You have no idea how much those words hurt me, you're the single cruellest person on this planet! Get out, now!"
"But I –" Michael tried desperately as he was backed against the entrance door, "Carly –"
"Don't talk to me! Don't ever appear in front of me again!" Carly raged, her emerald eyes bright with tears of fury, "I don't ever want to see you again! You despicable – unwanted, parentless, troublesome – you actually had the nerve to agree to those horrible words!"
"But I –"
"Get out!" Carly insisted, snatching the paper from the receptionist's desk, causing the receptionist to recoil noticeably, "You want your fifteen hours? Here, take this stupid paper, you're finished! You don't need to come back – you're finished this stupid babysitting job, Michael Parker! Now get out!" She flung the paper in his face, breathing heavily.
Michael looked, pale-faced, from Mrs. Faraday to Carly, realizing that he had gone cold all over. Whatever he had done, he had made Carly angry beyond any apparent reason. Swallowing hard with the paper clutched in his gloved hand, he decided that it would be best to leave in case Carly chose to pick up some piece of nearby glassware and smash it upon him. "All right, all right, I'll leave. Right now."
He hurried down the steps and looked back worriedly, concern and confusion reflecting in his turquoise eyes, "But…get your cut cleaned up, all right? In case it gets infected." Michael hastily opened the door to his convertible and drove off.
Closing the door behind her slowly, Carly sank down on her knees, clutching the metallic knob of the door and not caring that blood was still trickling slowly from her cut, and sobbed. "You won Michael, you won. You won, now leave me alone!"
From behind the wall at the end of the corridor, Ryan peeked out slowly as if frightened, his deep blue eyes filled with tears. Ignoring Mrs. Faraday's exclamations that he should be lying in bed, Ryan ran as fast as his short legs could carry him and flung his arms around Carly's neck, hugging her tightly, his innocent voice filled with concern, "Carly…why are you so sad?"
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