Disclaimer—you know I don't own this.
Author's Note: Sorry about the time between the last update and this one. I'm not going to say too much at the moment because I don't want to ruin anything, but I had a tough choice to make. Keep a lot of characters semi-anonymous (at least for now) or come up with a lot of random OCs. I think I made the right choice. Enjoy the chapter.
Hufflepuff1324—Thanks
Katie Lupin Black—Thanks, sorry I haven't updated this week, I explained the dilemma. :-)
Hrei-siesn—Really? I've never seen the wave but actually I had thought of doing something with armbands (like red and gold armbands for supporters who aren't in the D.A. but support it, and silver and green for the ones who aren't Death Eaters but support them). Weird! I might do it, I dunno, now it's really creeping me out! Thanks for the review.
Sillypaulie—Thanks, glad you like it.
Pakerin Pyros—Can't tell if they'll learn it yet or not, maybe someday they will. I just hope it won't be too late. Or maybe they'll come back to the meeting having learned? Who can tell? Oh, right. I can. Hehe.
Jbfritz—Thanks!
Oxi-Nu—Nope, not ending the horror yet! Thanks.
Laura—hehe, thanks for the review.
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CHAPTER 59: A LULLABY
Harry said, "I tested everyone of you. None of you passed."
"What about Luna?" asked Parvati. "My sister told me that she saw you and Luna dueling in the hallway."
"She passed, but she's not here. So I repeat none of you passed."
She looked down sulkily.
"Do all of you understand it now? I didn't do anything damaging to you and I reversed all the spells I did use. This isn't a game. Anybody else would have been less merciful than I was. They would have made sure you were out numbered and would have used harmful spells. They wouldn't have helped you back to your feet afterward. If there was an afterward. Look at the lists you brought. If there's anybody there that you'd rather keep out of this whole mess, you can scratch their name out now. But remember, there might not be a time when they can't keep out of this mess. The other side will be determined to catch other people in the crossfire whether they pick a side or not."
He saw everyone staring down at his or her list. A few people crossed out names, but it looked like they then rewrote them.
"Everybody's going to take a turn and stand up. They'll read their list and we'll vote who's in and who's out. 10 votes against someone and they don't make it. I'll make up the final list." His gazed passed over each of them. "You first, Hermione."
She stood up nervously. "I've got the names of some of the younger students I tutor. The 2nd and 3rd years." She read out a list of five names and one by one everyone voted. 2 of her candidates passed the vote. During the week they would have to pass an interview by Harry.
"You next, Ron."
Ron had 4 Quiditch players—the beaters for Ravenclaw, one of the Hufflepuff chasers, and a Gryffindor chaser. One of the Ravenclaw beaters passed the vote.
Ginny was next and had 6 of the 5th years that she felt had a certain spunky quality to them. 3 passed.
Neville's choices were a couple of 7 years who he knew and were taking the N.E.W.T. Herbology class, as well as a first year he'd befriended.
The last of the lists was Luna's, which Harry read. He didn't recognize anyone on the list. Most of the people didn't recognize them. Those who did recognize some of them knew them to be rather odd and stand out-ish (though none of them stood out as much as Luna). 2 passed voting, though Harry considered viewing another 2 for good measure.
It went on like this for a good two hours. From 84 people on the lists (some were repeated so it was really only 52) they went down to 27 after the voting. It was narrowed down to 20 after a second round of voting. The twenty remaining would be interviewed separately by Ron, Hermione, and Neville each in a way that hopefully would not be too obvious. Then Harry would meet with each one privately, decide how much he could trust them, then launch into a full explanation.
All the discussions and voting took more than two hours, but still at the end of it, Harry had them test their dueling skills and he reiterated his warning that they were not to pick fights. If he heard about any of them picking fights, he would personally investigate the matter quite carefully.
When everyone was leaving Harry heard Zacherias mutter, "Potter's turning into a bloody tyrant."
Harry bit his lip and counted silently to 10, waiting until everyone was out of the room before he screamed. Then he took some steadying breaths, it did no good. "That's exactly what I wanted to avoid! I'm trying, I'm really trying!" he shouted to the empty room. He squeezed his eyes shut, imagining the room to look different, to be what he needed. He opened his eyes and found just what he wanted and ran toward it. He threw himself on the bed and crying and beating his fist against the pillows and crying as though he were five years old and not sixteen, as though he were an innocent child crying over something frivolous instead someone who had been through more pain and misery than he or almost anyone else deserved. "It's not fair. I'm trying to protect them. It's a tough world and they'll get hurt." He continued to lie there, muttering about the unfairness of it all.
He didn't hear the door open. He didn't hear anyone walk in. He didn't hear an almost silent voice whispering, "Shush."
He wasn't even aware of anyone else in the room until someone came and sat down next to him on the bed and started stroking his forehead and hair, whispering to him. The voice was humming a lullaby, but soon added words.
Tears fall down your face
It's okay to cry
But know that I'm nearby
To wipe your tears
And hold your fears
I'll keep them all at bay.
Then one day,
When you're ready,
You'll grow up.
But not today.
Today you can cry.
Hush, shush,
Today you can cry.
I'll be here when you need me
Even if you think you don't.
Don't you ever leave me,
I know you need me,
If you ask me to leave, I won't.
So stay right there
And I'll be here
To dry your eyes
And put away your fear.
Harry slowly stopped crying, but didn't sit up, and the singer didn't move from where she was. The singer started a second verse.
Tell me what's wrong
Confide in me
This is our song
Tears stain your face
Your eyes will never be the same
You play a brutal game
And you lose.
You're not ready
Not yet ready
And you don't have a choice
This was decided for you,
Who took your voice?
Tell me what's wrong
Confide in me
This is our song
It tears my heart
To see you weep.
"What's wrong, Harry?" she whispered.
"I can't do this anymore." He didn't move. He didn't have the energy.
"Can't do what?" she murmured.
"I can't go on like this. I'm trying to teach them and they're missing the point. They don't understand what it's going to come down to in the end. I wish I were them. I wish I didn't know. What's that line again? 'Ignorance is bliss'? I want to forget everything, Luna. I don't want to remember that there's a psycho out there who wants me dead. I don't want to remember that he'll hurt anyone I care about to get to me. I don't want to remember that if he's willing to pay or threaten enough he can get anyone to join him. After all, doesn't everyone have a price?" he asked bitterly. "What was the price he paid to Peter to betray my parents? Or was it fear? The others don't get it Luna. They don't understand what's going to happen. It's all a game to them. What I did to them this week did nothing to sober them. I'm afraid they're still as reckless as ever and there's nothing I can do about it. Don't you understand? NOTHING."
"There's always hope."
"The only hope is a fool's hope."
"Albus Dumbledore understands hope."
"He's the biggest fool of the lot of us. I'm second."
"No, Harry, you're not. Hope is all we have. Without hope, we have nothing. But with hope, we can have everything. You're not in this alone, Harry. You're not in this alone."
"If I'm not alone, then who's with me? Anyone I care about and would able to help me…I wouldn't put them in harm's way. I just couldn't do it. Who is there for aid? No one."
"There's us."
Harry sat up. Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Ginny stood in a line, staring at him. "We're here for you."
"No matter what."
"And we will always be here for you."
"We'll follow you to the end of this."
"To the end of the Earth if need be."
"No matter what. We're in this together."
"We care about you and we won't let you go this alone."
"You can trust us."
"You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"Share the load."
"We can't do everything, but we can help."
"We can help."
"We will help."
Harry smiled weakly. "I'm not letting you risk yourselves for me."
"Too late, Harry. You're stuck with us."
"Forever."
Harry looked at them, "Forever? No, just 'til death claims me."
Luna blinked once, her slow meaningful blink. "Not while we live, Harry. Not while we live."
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Sounds kind of ominous, don't you think?