ok i bak to write this! i just my linkin park CD and i have all of these songs i like now.and i have all these songs that i have to songfics for! hopfully i will be able to type more b/c my friend is letting me use her comp.! oh well, i might as well get on with this story...
DISCLAIMER!!! yes i know i never ever do a disclaimer, but now i will, if you will please jailbreaker04...
jailbreaker04: Oops! She does not own YGO!!
but i do own my linkin park CD and almost all of jailbreaker04's free will
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When this began
I had nothing to say, And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only one with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all of them can see the words revealed, is the only real thing I've got left to feel
Nothing to loose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the Fault is my own
And the Fault is my own...
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Ryou POV
I sat here alone on the couch in my living room. The TV was blazing but i didn't actuallly listen. I was thinking...thinking about him....
Everyone believed I was afraid of him...and I was, but there was something more. Something I had never realized....I was in love...in love with my yami...
Maybe it was just my desperation talking..I was so confused...I would never tell him..I never could. He would just laugh in my face. Make fun of me..
Suddenly the sound of the door opening broke my thoughts...Bakura was home. I didn't know what had happened..but he seemed to be in a bad mood...
I tried to sink into the couch. I pulled the cover up over my body and tried to breath quietly. Although I was sure he would still be able to hear me...he always knew where I was...
I bit onto my lip as he made his way into the living room. He looked around and then stoped his gaze on me.
"Oh, trying to hide hikari...?" He said coldy. He made his way over to my side.
I tryed to sink farther into couch. He laughed when he saw this.
"Nothing can save you from the darkness, Ryou..." He laughed again and grabbed my white hair. He tugged and pulled me up from the couch.
I fell onto my knees on the floor. But he tugged harder and i could feel some of my hair pulling away from my head. I winced and pulled myself from my knees.
Bakura laughed, he grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back. My hair fell from his hand and hung over my eye. Suddenly I felt something blunt hit me over the head. I felt blood drip down my cheek. I winced again and fell to my knees again.
"What's wrong..? Afraid of a little pain...?" He laughed out again. He pushed my twisted arm into my back, making me go face first into the carpet. I tryed to breath, but found I couldn't inhale...
Bakura pushed my head into the carpet harder. I flayed my now free arm around at my side. Bakura held my arm down but I still tryed to move...Was I really going to die? Die at the hands of the one I loved?...Tears formed at the corner of my eyes....I tryed to gasp, but found I still couldn't...I only found the smell of our carpet, now stained with my blood...Another trickle went down my face...
Suddenly I went limp and everything became blackness around me....
Bakura POV
I held down Ryou's arm when he began trying to attempt to be freed from the floor. His arm still fought under my grip. I heard him attempt to gasp, but he couldn't...I laughed again..He would black out soon...Ah, there he goes..His arms relaxed and he seemed to sink into the carpet...I flipped him over easily...wow he was skinny...Too bad I won't let him eat that much...
He had blood dripping down his face, which was slowly turning back to the normal shade of paleness for him...He breathed in raspily...stupid kid...
I let him lay on floor and recover..I then walked up to my room...the idiot would wake up eventually...
I opened his door and walked inside to his room. It was all black, a color I had made him paint it when we moved here...I flopped onto his..my bed. It was now mine..He wouldn't care if he had to sleep on the couch...atleast once I was through with him..
I looked up at the ceiling...I could tell something was up with him...He was looking at me...I would scream at him but he just accepted it...Something was going on...I would find out soon..Once I had some sleep...I would find out...
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I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I wipe away the pain, I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong....
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Later that night
Ryou POV
I suddenly woke up to the smell of blood...I realized I was lying in my own puddle of blood...It was sticky and all over the top of my shirt and in my tangled mess of hair.
I sat up slowly and put my hand up to my head. Everything was still dark, it must be night time still..
More blood dripped from my hair onto my shirt...I loved this shirt too..I got up and staggered up the stairs...I looked down the hall. My door was open...Bakura was in there again....I could hear him breathing in and out deeply and i tip-toed past the door. I reached the bathroom and went inside. I locked the door behind me. I turned around to fast, and screamed at the image in the mirror.
I fell over and banged my head againest the bathtub. Blood came from the old injury on my head...I looked up and winced. Bakura had surely heard me...He would beat me again.. Tears fell down my face...Great I was crying now...I put my hand over my head and pulled it back. Of course, it was covered in blood...I leaned against the wall and slowly brought myself to my feet.
I stayed as quiet as I could...If Bakura wasn't awake yet, he would surely be close to it now...I stepped in front of my bathroom mirror and stared at the image it made...Dead brown eyes stared back at me from a pale, sunken face, covered with white and red locks of hair...My jaw almost dropped...I looked like hell..
I..I couldn't take it anymore...I-If Bakura didn't love me..than why should I live? Yugi and his little friends said they cared..but they really didn't. They only notice me when i was limping or wincing around...But if I was fine..If i ever really was..They could care less...I was back to the corner of the room...being stepped on and made fun of again...
Bakura wouldn't love me...who would? I was a failure..People would probably rejoice if I died..One less person to look after...One less student to teach....One less person to care for..not that anyone would...
Tears fell down harder from my eyes...My cheeks were stinging from the heat..I gasped and cried even harder. I opened the door and headed back down the stairs. I walked through the living room and stopped in the middle of the kitchen...I looked around..where was our knife box?
I would end this here and now...My life was worthless...Bakura would be happy I was dead...He would find someone else to hurt...or go ahead and go on that killing spree he always promised he would do eventually...
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and moved over to the counter. I slowly opened the knife box and pulled out one of our knives...I looked down at the blade and saw my reflection...I closed my eyes and lifted up the knife slowly...
This was it..Memories went through my head...Amane dying on the hospital bed...My mother wasting away...My father moving to an almost full time job....The Sennen Ring...I remember when Bakura first showed himself to me...when he stuck the Ring's pointers into my chest.....when he got sent to the shadow realm...
I slashed down at my arm with the knife....I bit my lip as it slashed into my arm...I could feel blood dripping down my arm...I opened my eyes and looked down at my arm....
The slash wasn't even that deep! A small amount of blood fell down my arm...onto the floor....I was worthless...I couldn't even kill myself!...I felt tears stream down my face again.....
I dropped the knife and it made a long clang that seemed to echo off of my very soul....
I fell to my knees and cryed openly onto the floor...
Bakura POV
I snapped my eyes open as I heard a large clang come from downstairs....I jumped up and ran, taking two steps at a time...The first thing i noticed was that Ryou had gottten up...There was a puddle of blood in the middle of the living room...
Ryou was sobbing...I could hear it..Idiot..What had he done know?
I walked into the kitchen and the first thing I noticed was the knife laying on the floor at Ryou's knees...
Ryou was bent over, clutching his forearm and crying his eyes out...
I stalked over and noticed him tense up..Good, he was already intimidated...I laughed low in my throat
"Oh, what did my baka no yadonushi do now?" I said as I put my hand into his messy hair.
Silence from him..He was doing it again...Acting weirdly..I would find out now, what he was hiding from me. I reached my hand out and grabbed his bloody forearm. I could feel a small gash. This was obviously very painful for Ryou screamed and looked up at me. His eyes were fearful...But something about his face...there was a loss of hope..his eyes were dull...
I tightened my grip and pulled him up. He bit down on his lip...He looked like a massacre...
"What are you hiding from me hikari..?" I laughed out.
"N-nothing master..." He said slowly..
I growled and threw him into the wall. He gasped in pain and started coughing. I saw blood begin to trickle out of his mouth...
I smirked and pushed my knee into his stomach...He gasped and stared into my eyes... I smirked and grabbed his throat.
"Tell me now hikari! What are you hiding from me?!" He was beginning to piss me off...
"B-Bakura...I can't tell you...." He gasped out.
I pushed my knee into his stomach harder. I growled and slapped him. He didn't scream, but was more shocked...He grabbed his cheek and looked at me fearfully...Tears streamed down his face...And He just stared at me in shock...
"What is wrong with you?! Tell me what you're hiding now!" I growled out and tightened my grip around his throat more...
"I...I.."
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And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That's it not I had imagined it all in my mind
So what in mind
What do I have but negativity
Cause I can't jusify the way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to loose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone,
The fault is my own...
The fault is my own...
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Ryou POV
I coughed up a little blood...Bakura's knee pressed harder into my stomach...
"What is wrong with you?! Tell me what you're hiding now!" He screamed at me..
I..I had to tell him..He had to now..And then..maybe he would love me back...He..He might...I closed my eyes and tears fell down my cheeks.
"I..I" I coughed out..
Bakura loosened his grip around my throat and I took in a large gasp. I looked Bakura in the eye...and he he actually care...I held back my smile and
choked out ..
"I..love you Bakura..."
There was silence....He let his knee drop and I leaned againest the wall for support. I stared at him and he stared back...Suddenly I diid something..I never thought I could do..
I leaned foreward and caught Bakura off gaurd. I..pressed my lips againest his. I leaned into Bakura and was surprised when he began kissing me back...
I mentally gasped and wrapped my arms around him...And so did he...did he really love me?! I would jump for joy if I wasn't lip locked with my darker half....
Suddenly Bakura scared me...His hand collided with my cheek. I gasped and fell back into the wall. I stared up at him on shock and fear. Bakura kept his eyes down at the floor and walked out of the room...
Tears streamed down my face harder...I felt like screaming..screaming out loud and just jumping out of the window....Bakura didn't love me...I had no purpose...
I slowly fell into darkness...All alone...
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I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I wipe away the pain, I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong....
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until these wounds are healed
I will never make, anything, until I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I wipe away the pain, I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong....
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm somewhere I belong...
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm somewhere I belong...
Somewhere I belong....
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yay! you get to decide if ryou lives or dies...but i am making this a songfic trilogy! look for the sequel to this, which should be coming soon!!! LATER PEOPLE!!!
Sakura-Devil- Hi! bye!
jailbreaker04- wish me luck! bye!
YAY!! SLEEP OVER!!!!!
later people