AN: This is a bit of a nasty chapter, so I am forewarning you. Have to
admit though, I couldn't go through with it myself, though I had
originally intended to. Please review. Thank you.
Chapter Thirteen
The attack did not come. Remus was jumpy and apprehensive, but it seemed for nothing. Lucius did not come and find him. Did not even look at him. To all intents and purposes, the other night could well not have happened. For some reason, the school did not know about his excursion into Slytherin house, and he was not about to tell them. James was distant from him, but so had he been for the days preceding that night. Sirius had made no move to regain their friendship, and Remus, although missing him, had neither the energy nor the will to seek him out. He was just... waiting.
A week passed, then another, still the same tired rhythm. Work was intolerable. NEWTs were looming and Remus had to do well in them. Rumours of dark activity were beginning to spread, of a wizard gone evil rampaging through Europe, killing wherever he could. A chill was setting in.
Only Peter was his companion these days. But Remus found that the boy, although nice enough, bored him to tears after a few hours. So he made excuses not to be around him anymore, doing all his work in the library, not returning until lights out and going straight up to the dormitory. Lessons were no change from normal; he usually sat with Peter anyway. A couple of time James's girlfriend, Lily, had come to talk to him, but he had waved her aside. He could not concentrate on anything.
He woke up one day, knowing that it was full moon, and dreading night falling. He did not expect any of his friends to keep him company this month. James had made no mention of it, and indeed, he had given him no chance for over the past week Remus had spoken little to anyone. As the day progressed, he found himself half-hoping that one of his fellow Marauders would approach him. None of them did. He went up to the dormitory after tea to prepare himself, and leave his books, before making the journey to the Shrieking Shack. It would not be too many full moons before he would no longer have to do this routine.
As he left the castle, Remus got the impression someone was following him. He stopped, to tie up his shoelace, and the presence behind him also stopped. Remus sniffed the air. He could definitely smell someone, and the thought worried him. He needed to get to the Shack now, before the change began. He could already feel the first twinges running through his body.
The person followed him though, keeping a subtle distance. As he approached the whomping willow, he turned. "Who's there?" he called out. Nobody answered. "I know there's someone. I can hear you."
Someone stepped out of the shadows. It was Sirius. Remus jumped, fully expecting it to have been Lucius. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
"As much as we have had our differences, and as much as you have been a prick this last month, I know how much you hate this. I was going to keep an eye on you to make sure you were ok."
Remus's heart leapt. "I could smell you on the wind," he said quietly.
"Then I suggest you were on your way. It will not be long before you change." Remus nodded, and continued his way towards the tree, ducking its branches as he found the mechanism to open the tree. He felt Sirius change, and felt comforted. His friends had not abandoned him after all.
-
Rosier watched Lucius. The blonde had been foul tempered of late, but that was not such a rare occurrence. He and Severus had broken up, but had remained friends. Neither Slytherin had felt a need to discuss what had happened between them with anyone else in Slytherin house. Lucius had come down and told everyone not to tell of Remus's visit, although Rosier suspected that this was on Dumbledore's orders, for Lucius would never have shown such mercy.
And neither would Rosier, when the time was right.
-
Remus finished his Potions prep, all three rolls of it. He hoped that they would get a question like this in the exam. He felt he knew everything there was to know about healing potions. He rolled it up, and put away his quill and books, before swinging his bag onto his back and heading up to Gryffindor tower. There was nothing extraordinary about this night. It had been four days since his third night of change. Sirius had accompanied him to the Shack, and they had spent some time tussling during the time when they were both changed, but Remus had always fallen asleep, and Sirius was always gone by the time he changed back next morning. During the day, he had not seen Sirius at all, but then again, he had not exactly gone looking for him. The change was exhausting.
Things were still not right between them though. Since the full moon had gone Sirius had made no mention of his time in the shack, and they had not gone back to the way things used to be. Remus missed Sirius though. He resolved to try and get him alone to talk in the next few days.
His senses told him there was someone lurking in the shadows before his eyes did. It was Lucius. Remus stopped, heart beginning to race. He knew this moment would come sooner or later. Lucius had just been toying with him, letting him think he was just out into the clear before he moved.
Lucius did not waste time with words. The blow was swift, and it knocked Remus out. When he came to, he was on a bed, gagged, and bound. Lucius stood over him, and whispered a privacy and a silencing charm. Lucius knelt onto the bed, Remus' eyes looking up at him, his head throbbing.
The blonde ran his hand along Remus's side, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Remus moaned in pain, not daring to take his eyes off him, needing to at least have some warning before the next attack came. The hand moved up to his face, and stroked his cheek, causing it to flare up in agony. Sparks crackled on the edges of Lucius' fingertips.
The hand turned from gentle to forceful, and Remus rolled him onto his front. Lucius' hands moved back downward, and then Remus felt a wand being pressed into his back. "You cannot blame me for this," Lucius said softly. "You brought this on yourself. Crucio."
The pain was unimaginable, ten times, no, a hundred times worse than the changes he made. White hot pain scorched every inch of his body, leaving nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Remus screamed through the gag. He did not notice Lucius ripping his clothes off, could not register anything, but the agony of his body. His eyes rolled backward, blood ran down...
Lucius lifted the curse. His hands no longer brought pain, and he stroked Remus' back in soft, soothing strokes. "Hush... you make too much noise, dear Gryffindor. We will soon see if you make noise in this next situation." Remus cried, unable to move from his bounds, knowing there would be no escape this time, no one to come to his rescue. "I am sorry, Lupin. But you touched what was mine. I lose him because of you. You need to pay for what you have done."
Lucius voice turned into a blur as he continued talking, but Remus' body had truly gone cold, despite the tremors continuing to rack through it. Lucius' hands had moved downward, still soft, but they were getting close, and he had just realised that he was naked. He waited for the moment those hands would turn sharp.
He did not have to wait long. In fact, Lucius seemed remarkably eager to get this over with. A finger pushed in, hurting, painful. Then it was removed. Remus sobbed. Lucius knelt back.
"I cannot do this..."
It didn't register with Remus. He merely waited for more to come.
"I cannot..." Lucius ran his hands through his hair, torn. Then he quietly whispered the spells to untie and ungag his prisoner. He knew he should not show mercy. But the sight of the boy cowering before him was too pathetic. Lucius knew if he continued through he would destroy him.
Suddenly, it all seemed too much effort. He wanted Severus. They were still friends but it had gone back to the way it used to be, with Severus refusing him. The memory charm had worked well.
Lucius turned to a nearby chest and got out some clothes. "These should fit you..." he said as he gazed at the boy in front of him. "I am not going to hurt you. Just keep out of my way for the rest of the year, understand, and I will not touch you. Do not come near Severus again or I will do far worse than I had intended to tonight. I will not put up with you if you do anything more."
Remus focused on Lucius, curled up foetally, before slowly and achingly moving to pick up the clothes. Once dressed, he looked at Lucius.
Lucius felt shame, of which he had never felt before. So this is what mercy felt like. He resolved himself never to feel it again. It was too painful for words. He felt an urge to apologise, before stopping himself. He said nothing as Remus moved to the door, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "Wait," Lucius said.
"You are in Slytherin house. I will take you out so nobody sees you," he said slowly, picking up his invisibility cloak from where he had so carelessly lain it before. He swung it over both Remus and himself, and slowly moved down, down the stairway and through the common room. Once out the door, he lifted the cloak from Remus and looked at him. "Tell no-one of this," he whispered, before returning to the common room.
Lucius wondered if he should have put a memory charm on Remus, for surely there would be trouble for this. Gryffindors did not abide by Slytherin honour, which was, i.e., never to tell. His eyes swept the room. He saw Rosier sitting in the corner with a dour face as usual, half way into a bottle of wine. Levitating the cloak and sending it upwards to his room, he sat down opposite him. Rosier looked surprised as Lucius sat down. "What brings you here?" he asked.
Lucius shrugged. "Going to share any of that?" He gestured at the wine.
-
Remus managed to get half way up to Gryffindor tower, when he suddenly remembered his schoolbag. He didn't know whether Lucius had simply left it when he had attacked him or he had moved it. Remus considered he should probably get it, or he would be in trouble the next day. Upon reflection, he supposed he was lucky. At least he'd got his prep done. That potions prep needed to be done by the next day, and if he'd been interrupted half way through, he would never have been able to finish it in time.
He turned back towards the library, steps slow as pain still wracked his body. He had grown numb. The tears no longer flowed. Lucius hadn't gone through with it. He couldn't consider why, what had changed, had not the prescience of mind. All he could remember was the feeling of being utterly powerless, and the pain of those hands and the Unforgivable cast against him...
His bag was where he'd left it. He moved to sling it over his shoulder, but his body was simply too weak to take the weight. He levitated it, and it followed along behind him as he continued the long trek to Gryffindor tower. It was late. Past curfew. He hoped against hope he would not be caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris.
Luck was with him for at least that that night. As he mumbled the password and entered the common room, he looked round, needing to collapse into an armchair, but knowing he needed to get up to bed. His eyes misted over as his thoughts moved over the night's events. Suddenly he was taken into someone's arms, and held. They were soft, and Remus cared not who they were, but just leaned into their warmth and closeness. He nearly fell asleep, but could not, for the full fat tears that began to roll in earnest down his face. He fell unconscious, his body not being able to take it in.
Sirius picked Remus up, and carried him upstairs to the dorm. He noticed the bruises, the marks, slight tremors that still wracked him and the tears. He lay him down on his bed, with a question from James, who had, needless to say, not been fooled by Sirius' non-return from the toilet. Remus drew the curtains round, not wishing James to intrude, and began to draw off his clothes, noting that they did not belong to Remus. Taking off the shirt, he looked at the collar, and his heart lurched when he saw the initials "L.M." detailed in fancy gold lettering. Sirius gasped when she removal of the shirt revealed the punishments inflicted on Remus' body. As he pulled down the trousers, he noticed red marks, which looked like nails continuing down Remus' side. It was mostly only one hand from his face to his hip, but when the trousers were drawn off he noticed another hand, and turning Remus over, saw where those red marks led.
Sirius' fury threatened to overwhelm, but he tried to calm down. Remus needed to go to the hospital wing, but he knew the boy would refuse to go over something such as this to Madam Pomfrey. In a way Sirius could not blame him – he would not want to go either. But something needed to be done. He muttered a minor healing charm, and started when the red did not fade. Something powerful had been used on Remus to make those marks still burn, clear as day.
Sirius moved over to James, not knowing what to do.
Chapter Thirteen
The attack did not come. Remus was jumpy and apprehensive, but it seemed for nothing. Lucius did not come and find him. Did not even look at him. To all intents and purposes, the other night could well not have happened. For some reason, the school did not know about his excursion into Slytherin house, and he was not about to tell them. James was distant from him, but so had he been for the days preceding that night. Sirius had made no move to regain their friendship, and Remus, although missing him, had neither the energy nor the will to seek him out. He was just... waiting.
A week passed, then another, still the same tired rhythm. Work was intolerable. NEWTs were looming and Remus had to do well in them. Rumours of dark activity were beginning to spread, of a wizard gone evil rampaging through Europe, killing wherever he could. A chill was setting in.
Only Peter was his companion these days. But Remus found that the boy, although nice enough, bored him to tears after a few hours. So he made excuses not to be around him anymore, doing all his work in the library, not returning until lights out and going straight up to the dormitory. Lessons were no change from normal; he usually sat with Peter anyway. A couple of time James's girlfriend, Lily, had come to talk to him, but he had waved her aside. He could not concentrate on anything.
He woke up one day, knowing that it was full moon, and dreading night falling. He did not expect any of his friends to keep him company this month. James had made no mention of it, and indeed, he had given him no chance for over the past week Remus had spoken little to anyone. As the day progressed, he found himself half-hoping that one of his fellow Marauders would approach him. None of them did. He went up to the dormitory after tea to prepare himself, and leave his books, before making the journey to the Shrieking Shack. It would not be too many full moons before he would no longer have to do this routine.
As he left the castle, Remus got the impression someone was following him. He stopped, to tie up his shoelace, and the presence behind him also stopped. Remus sniffed the air. He could definitely smell someone, and the thought worried him. He needed to get to the Shack now, before the change began. He could already feel the first twinges running through his body.
The person followed him though, keeping a subtle distance. As he approached the whomping willow, he turned. "Who's there?" he called out. Nobody answered. "I know there's someone. I can hear you."
Someone stepped out of the shadows. It was Sirius. Remus jumped, fully expecting it to have been Lucius. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
"As much as we have had our differences, and as much as you have been a prick this last month, I know how much you hate this. I was going to keep an eye on you to make sure you were ok."
Remus's heart leapt. "I could smell you on the wind," he said quietly.
"Then I suggest you were on your way. It will not be long before you change." Remus nodded, and continued his way towards the tree, ducking its branches as he found the mechanism to open the tree. He felt Sirius change, and felt comforted. His friends had not abandoned him after all.
-
Rosier watched Lucius. The blonde had been foul tempered of late, but that was not such a rare occurrence. He and Severus had broken up, but had remained friends. Neither Slytherin had felt a need to discuss what had happened between them with anyone else in Slytherin house. Lucius had come down and told everyone not to tell of Remus's visit, although Rosier suspected that this was on Dumbledore's orders, for Lucius would never have shown such mercy.
And neither would Rosier, when the time was right.
-
Remus finished his Potions prep, all three rolls of it. He hoped that they would get a question like this in the exam. He felt he knew everything there was to know about healing potions. He rolled it up, and put away his quill and books, before swinging his bag onto his back and heading up to Gryffindor tower. There was nothing extraordinary about this night. It had been four days since his third night of change. Sirius had accompanied him to the Shack, and they had spent some time tussling during the time when they were both changed, but Remus had always fallen asleep, and Sirius was always gone by the time he changed back next morning. During the day, he had not seen Sirius at all, but then again, he had not exactly gone looking for him. The change was exhausting.
Things were still not right between them though. Since the full moon had gone Sirius had made no mention of his time in the shack, and they had not gone back to the way things used to be. Remus missed Sirius though. He resolved to try and get him alone to talk in the next few days.
His senses told him there was someone lurking in the shadows before his eyes did. It was Lucius. Remus stopped, heart beginning to race. He knew this moment would come sooner or later. Lucius had just been toying with him, letting him think he was just out into the clear before he moved.
Lucius did not waste time with words. The blow was swift, and it knocked Remus out. When he came to, he was on a bed, gagged, and bound. Lucius stood over him, and whispered a privacy and a silencing charm. Lucius knelt onto the bed, Remus' eyes looking up at him, his head throbbing.
The blonde ran his hand along Remus's side, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Remus moaned in pain, not daring to take his eyes off him, needing to at least have some warning before the next attack came. The hand moved up to his face, and stroked his cheek, causing it to flare up in agony. Sparks crackled on the edges of Lucius' fingertips.
The hand turned from gentle to forceful, and Remus rolled him onto his front. Lucius' hands moved back downward, and then Remus felt a wand being pressed into his back. "You cannot blame me for this," Lucius said softly. "You brought this on yourself. Crucio."
The pain was unimaginable, ten times, no, a hundred times worse than the changes he made. White hot pain scorched every inch of his body, leaving nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Remus screamed through the gag. He did not notice Lucius ripping his clothes off, could not register anything, but the agony of his body. His eyes rolled backward, blood ran down...
Lucius lifted the curse. His hands no longer brought pain, and he stroked Remus' back in soft, soothing strokes. "Hush... you make too much noise, dear Gryffindor. We will soon see if you make noise in this next situation." Remus cried, unable to move from his bounds, knowing there would be no escape this time, no one to come to his rescue. "I am sorry, Lupin. But you touched what was mine. I lose him because of you. You need to pay for what you have done."
Lucius voice turned into a blur as he continued talking, but Remus' body had truly gone cold, despite the tremors continuing to rack through it. Lucius' hands had moved downward, still soft, but they were getting close, and he had just realised that he was naked. He waited for the moment those hands would turn sharp.
He did not have to wait long. In fact, Lucius seemed remarkably eager to get this over with. A finger pushed in, hurting, painful. Then it was removed. Remus sobbed. Lucius knelt back.
"I cannot do this..."
It didn't register with Remus. He merely waited for more to come.
"I cannot..." Lucius ran his hands through his hair, torn. Then he quietly whispered the spells to untie and ungag his prisoner. He knew he should not show mercy. But the sight of the boy cowering before him was too pathetic. Lucius knew if he continued through he would destroy him.
Suddenly, it all seemed too much effort. He wanted Severus. They were still friends but it had gone back to the way it used to be, with Severus refusing him. The memory charm had worked well.
Lucius turned to a nearby chest and got out some clothes. "These should fit you..." he said as he gazed at the boy in front of him. "I am not going to hurt you. Just keep out of my way for the rest of the year, understand, and I will not touch you. Do not come near Severus again or I will do far worse than I had intended to tonight. I will not put up with you if you do anything more."
Remus focused on Lucius, curled up foetally, before slowly and achingly moving to pick up the clothes. Once dressed, he looked at Lucius.
Lucius felt shame, of which he had never felt before. So this is what mercy felt like. He resolved himself never to feel it again. It was too painful for words. He felt an urge to apologise, before stopping himself. He said nothing as Remus moved to the door, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "Wait," Lucius said.
"You are in Slytherin house. I will take you out so nobody sees you," he said slowly, picking up his invisibility cloak from where he had so carelessly lain it before. He swung it over both Remus and himself, and slowly moved down, down the stairway and through the common room. Once out the door, he lifted the cloak from Remus and looked at him. "Tell no-one of this," he whispered, before returning to the common room.
Lucius wondered if he should have put a memory charm on Remus, for surely there would be trouble for this. Gryffindors did not abide by Slytherin honour, which was, i.e., never to tell. His eyes swept the room. He saw Rosier sitting in the corner with a dour face as usual, half way into a bottle of wine. Levitating the cloak and sending it upwards to his room, he sat down opposite him. Rosier looked surprised as Lucius sat down. "What brings you here?" he asked.
Lucius shrugged. "Going to share any of that?" He gestured at the wine.
-
Remus managed to get half way up to Gryffindor tower, when he suddenly remembered his schoolbag. He didn't know whether Lucius had simply left it when he had attacked him or he had moved it. Remus considered he should probably get it, or he would be in trouble the next day. Upon reflection, he supposed he was lucky. At least he'd got his prep done. That potions prep needed to be done by the next day, and if he'd been interrupted half way through, he would never have been able to finish it in time.
He turned back towards the library, steps slow as pain still wracked his body. He had grown numb. The tears no longer flowed. Lucius hadn't gone through with it. He couldn't consider why, what had changed, had not the prescience of mind. All he could remember was the feeling of being utterly powerless, and the pain of those hands and the Unforgivable cast against him...
His bag was where he'd left it. He moved to sling it over his shoulder, but his body was simply too weak to take the weight. He levitated it, and it followed along behind him as he continued the long trek to Gryffindor tower. It was late. Past curfew. He hoped against hope he would not be caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris.
Luck was with him for at least that that night. As he mumbled the password and entered the common room, he looked round, needing to collapse into an armchair, but knowing he needed to get up to bed. His eyes misted over as his thoughts moved over the night's events. Suddenly he was taken into someone's arms, and held. They were soft, and Remus cared not who they were, but just leaned into their warmth and closeness. He nearly fell asleep, but could not, for the full fat tears that began to roll in earnest down his face. He fell unconscious, his body not being able to take it in.
Sirius picked Remus up, and carried him upstairs to the dorm. He noticed the bruises, the marks, slight tremors that still wracked him and the tears. He lay him down on his bed, with a question from James, who had, needless to say, not been fooled by Sirius' non-return from the toilet. Remus drew the curtains round, not wishing James to intrude, and began to draw off his clothes, noting that they did not belong to Remus. Taking off the shirt, he looked at the collar, and his heart lurched when he saw the initials "L.M." detailed in fancy gold lettering. Sirius gasped when she removal of the shirt revealed the punishments inflicted on Remus' body. As he pulled down the trousers, he noticed red marks, which looked like nails continuing down Remus' side. It was mostly only one hand from his face to his hip, but when the trousers were drawn off he noticed another hand, and turning Remus over, saw where those red marks led.
Sirius' fury threatened to overwhelm, but he tried to calm down. Remus needed to go to the hospital wing, but he knew the boy would refuse to go over something such as this to Madam Pomfrey. In a way Sirius could not blame him – he would not want to go either. But something needed to be done. He muttered a minor healing charm, and started when the red did not fade. Something powerful had been used on Remus to make those marks still burn, clear as day.
Sirius moved over to James, not knowing what to do.