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Zaraky: Heh, yes, well, you see, I wanted to stress on the depth of a witch's emotions and how it will affect their powers. I mean, look at Harry with Aunt Marge! Hermione just had a wand that gave her a more focused spell to work on and it caught the Aurors off guard. Hermione was desperate. I'd like to think that magic also reacts to a witch or wizard as adrenaline does. It bursts out with an added, unexpected bout of strength when it rises up to the occasion making a simple spell powerful. So sorry, but I won't be changing that scene. Thanks for reading and keep on hanging! More to come.
Usha88: Thank you! I appreciate your sympathies wholeheartedly but don't you worry about me, I'll be fine, especially with you guys wishing me the best and all. Author alert email?! Wow, you must really like me! Sorry I've had trouble updating. I'll try harder, k? Yeah, Harry can be such a dork that way. A nice dork, but a dork nonetheless. LOL (please don't hurt me!) Anyway, as for Hermione loving him… hmm, we'll come to that. Eventually. I'd like to make him suffer first. I can't let Hermione just jump into his arms like that. Besides, things are better appreciated when they work for it in my opinion. (evil smirk)
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Avestia: Here's that next chapter. Hope you'll like it as much as the last ones . And I think I remember you… are you the same reviewer who read my RL/HG fic MY ONLY DESIRE? I'm almost certain you are. Funny, because I just updated that story the same time I uploaded chapter three here. Hmm…
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Author's Note: Enjoy!!!Chapter Four: Sympathy from Old Friends…
Hermione slowly opened her eyes to the light that was filtering into the room. A room that was unfamiliar and alien to her as Azkaban. The last vestiges of a dream that included words of love and a smile from a pair of silver gray eyes only she had the privilege to ever see, floating onto the painful consciousness of reality that only made her think of despair…
Hermione sat up abruptly. Still reaching with a hand to grasp arms that will never hold her back again. She desperately struggled to hold on to the last vestiges of Draco's image that, even then, was fading away from her. Tears fell from her face and her heart filled with an anguish she can't even put to words as she hugged herself tightly to stave away the pain. She choked back sobs of intense agony and sorrow that she knew would never stop if she allowed herself to let go. The time for crying had long been over for her. Her tears would never give Draco back. It was one of the things that made death so cruel. No matter how much you beg, they will never look back at you once they've passed you by, or offer you any nuance of comfort that might alleviate the pain of its passing. Once the one you love dies, you're on your own. No ifs or buts about it. You'll be left alone with nothing. Nothing but the memories and pain and the deep regrets you harbour deep inside…
As if, on cue, the sounds of fussing caught her attention and Hermione forced herself to raise her face as her mind woke up and her priorities in life took over. As if, by some divine messenger, the cries of the reason she was still alive woke her from her anguish and she stood up from the bed to glide towards a beautifully handcrafted crib near a window and saw, inside, the beautiful doe brown eyes of her baby. So like her own and filled with tears which seemed to mirror hers to the very last detail.
She smiled shakily at her breath and life.
"Vera…"
With trembling hands, she lifted her baby to her chest and held her like a fragile piece of porcelain before kissing her downy head. The baby tapped at her cheek as though, seeking to comfort her weeping mother and Hermione smiled down at her. Here was the reason she kept on breathing. This was the reason she continued to stay alive everyday. Even after Draco's death, she would still have a piece of him with her and as long as she had Vera, she can survive the world.
She only wished that Draco could see his child grow up…
The memory of the dream she had replayed itself in her mind and made her look out the window and stare at the cloudy, November morning sky. The breeze that drifted in from the window smelled like fresh earth and fall. Soon, the winter snows will come again and cry for her. Cry for the dead and the dying caused by a war that everyone thought would never really end.
Draco…
Thinking of him hurt. The last thing she remembered about him was him kissing her goodbye five months ago… never knowing they'd never see each other again!
She had so many things to tell him. So many things she wanted to give him. She never even had the chance at complete honesty with him! And the regret ate at her, making tears roll down her cheeks as the agony sliced through her. It hurt. So much…
"You're awake. Good."
Startled, Hermione wiped her tears away swiftly then turned towards the door to see who was speaking and breathed in relief when she saw Harry there. She blushed when she realized what he probably did for her last night and had a little trouble containing her embarrassment.
"H-Harry…?" she finally stuttered out. She felt weak and out of sorts. Must have been the after effects of last night's debacle. "H-how long have you been standing there?"
"Not that long." He stared at her for a few moments with an unreadable expression in his darkened green eyes before answering in a forced sort of voice. "How are you feeling?"
She gave him a tremulous smile before setting Vera back down in the crib. "I'm fine. A bit exhausted though, but fine."
Harry nodded, still staring intently at her before speaking again. "You were running on pure adrenaline last night. It must have been the reason why you managed to disarm Kingsley and the others. Adrenaline is a dangerous thing for a witch and wizard to have. I almost blew up Aunt Marge because of it back when we were in third year."
Hermione laughed at that, the sound reverberating through the walls more effectively than sunlight. "I remember. I bought Crookshanks the same year and it was the year when we rescued—"
Hermione stopped her words when she saw a shadow of grief pass over Harry's features, instantly disappearing after a second or two. She was reminded of what she saw on her friend's face last night. The darkness he was capable of now. The thought that she will never lay eyes on that innocent, curious little boy who locked her in the girl's bathroom with that troll and then saved her, brought a deep well of sadness in her heart. She could only imagine what sort of life and thinking he was leading right now. It seemed so long ago… so long ago…
"I came up to see if you're awake and ask if you want your breakfast here or in the kitchen."
"Oh…" was all she could say. She looked down at her baby. "So… last night was no dream then…?"
His eyes turned darker, almost black, but he turned away from her and casually walked to a nearby window away from her to lean on it before she could be sure. It was, as if, he was shutting off the world outside. Encasing him in a shell of ice where no one can touch him. Where he cannot even escape from.
"No, Hermione," he finally answered. "It really was no dream. Everything really happened."
She was silent for a moment as she stared at him before her eyes took on a mock innocent cast and spoke lightly in an attempt to alleviate his melancholy. "You mean, I really did see you dressed in drag and dating Snape?!"
His shoulders stiffened at her words before they started shaking a little, and she was relieved to see that his face looked lighter when he turned back to look at her. "That was just so WRONG, Hermione!"
Hermione laughed at his words, not noticing Harry staring at her with a slight smile on his face and a longing in his eyes that promptly disappeared when she turned her eyes on him again.
Harry…
Oh, what she would do to give Harry happiness. The kind of happiness that would take away his pain. The kind of happiness he never had during his childhood. At school, she did what she could to make him cheerful by giving him her full support and her counsel and her complete loyalty… but she knew in her mind that she could only do so much. Ron made him happier, though in a foolish way. The red head was Harry's break from the stress while she tended to nag him back to it. She tried to control herself, of course. She indulged them as boys are wont. To a point. But give them a few minutes and they'll be dragging her off to another adventure. They make it so difficult for her to say no…
"So, are we in—"
"Godric's Hollow, yeah." Harry finished for her a bit hoarsely. "I brought you guys back here through portkey last night."
She gave him another smile. "Thanks. We must have been quite a load for you."
"Nothing to it."
So she must be in his bedroom, were Hermione's thoughts before gesturing at the crib Vera was lying on. "Did you… go through all this trouble…? For us?"
Harry looked at the crib and nodded. "Nothing to it."
Hermione looked down, the sadness creeping back in her eyes. "I'm sorry to be so much trouble…"
"Hey," he cut her off gently. "For better or worse, right?"
That brought back her smile before she looked around the room. The first thing that Hermione noticed was that, it was neater than she expected. Aside from the rumpled bed, there was a kind of unlived in feeling about the place. As though Harry almost (if ever) slept here. It had a loneliness within the walls that cried for a human touch…
There was a big closet beside the door near the king sized bed and an old school Gryffindor banner on the wall along with a wizarding poster of Ron's team, the Chudley Cannons right after the war. It was the poster taken the year he was made Keeper for the team. Hermione laughed as the Ron in the picture tousled his hair to make it look as if he just got off his broom. Aside from the rocking chair and Vera's crib, there were no other traces of furniture in the room. It bothered her a little, but— all in all— it was a pleasant place to live in.
"It's great, Harry." she commented softly. Her heart was teeming with happiness for her friend who finally got one of his wishes to come true. To rebuild his family's home… "It's just like I pictured it."
Harry nodded and gave her that soft sad half smile again. It was starting to get to her, that smile. It made him look so vulnerable even though she knew better. "I just came from the spare room across the hall. If you like it here, I can sleep there."
Hermione took two steps towards him, her face anxious. "Oh please don't, Harry, I'll be fine there, I'm sure. I can't take your room away."
"It's alright. I'm used to sleep in odd places."
The haunted quality of emerald in his eyes told Hermione that he was thinking of the cupboard under the stairs back at the Dursleys. Without thinking, she closed the few steps towards the remnants of the young man she gave her life to ever since she met him, and clasped him to her. Wanting to give him solace. Needing to give him all the warmth she had to chase away the ice of the past that remained in his heart. To make him feel. To make him whole again…
This was a man who has never understood a love as selfless as that in a dream. The little he knew of it since he came to the wizarding world seemed to have drained away from him since the war and it made her blink back tears at the thought of him suffering. She remembered Draco and his parents. How they all stuck together despite the harsh tradition implemented within their family. It was different… having a family of your own and being adopted into one. She knew that now…
Wait… was she comparing Draco and Harry's fates just now?! No, it wasn't fair to Draco. It wasn't his fault he was born that way.
"Hermione…?" she heard Harry say her name in a slightly hoarse tone.
She looked up at him, still not letting him go and gave him a warm smile. She never really understood how seductive her smiles could be and so she didn't notice the change in Harry's breathing or the way his arms shook as she spoke. "You've come a long way from there now, Harry. You don't need to go back again… I'll always be here. So will Ron and all the people who love you. Don't ever forget that, alright?"
The darkening in Harry's eyes was so subtle that Hermione failed to notice it. But he gave her that half smile again and nodded, his arms slightly trembling at his sides. "Alright. Only if you do me a favour."
Hermione looked up at him. "Which is…?"
Harry's brow knotted slightly as he took her shoulders in his hands prompting her to let go. Hermione, confused, waited for his words even as she ignored the tiny tendrils of electricity that Harry's touch seemed to be emitting. Were his emotions so strong that even his skin was emitting this sort of energy and transferring it to her?
"Promise me you will never do something like what you did last night ever again." He told her firmly.
Hermione blinked. "What did I do?"
Harry reached for her still bandaged left wrist and showed it to her making her flush. "I won't allow you to be hurt for anything, ANYTHING, Hermione. I promised I will protect you and I will. No one will harm you as long as I'm alive. Not even yourself. I won't stand for it. Promise me."
Hermione took a step back from him, clutching her injured wrist and Harry promptly let her go with just a trace of reluctance. Hermione looked down, not meeting his eyes before speaking. "I only did what I had to do, Harry. It was unavoidable."
"Hermione…" Harry growled through gritted teeth. "I won't allow you—"
"It's not for you to allow or disallow me to do anything, Harry. Please stop being so protective, I'm fine!" her tone softened and she smiled a little. Then she surprised him when she caressed his cheek with her uninjured hand, gently. "Please, Harry. You can't save me from every little hurt. You can't keep me from every little battle I have to fight, no matter how much you want to. You can't always be the hero, you know?"
He seemed to have sucked his breath in at her touch and Hermione watched, her pulses fluttering as he closed his eyes and moved his cheek on her palm as though savouring her very touch. Hermione's heart ached even more. Clearly it's been a while since he was touched by anyone like this. He's been keeping all of his emotions bottled up inside this whole time. Why had no one ever noticed? Why had no one cared enough to give him comfort?
Well that was an easy one. Because, aside from a few select people, everyone else expected him to be strong. Strong enough to withstand all the pain. Strong enough not to need anybody else. All everyone saw was the image of the hero they wanted to see. They didn't want to see the imperfections… the flaws of a lifetime riddled with tragedy…
Harry caught her hand and held it still as if he couldn't bear any more of the contact. He looked into her eyes with a hunger she failed to understand as he spoke. "I just want what's best for you…"
Hermione smiled at him warmly. "I know… but sometimes… you just have to let me fall…"
A flutter of wings and a flash of brown and white caught their attention, making their hands immediately close on their wands. They only relaxed when they recognized Hedwig carrying something in from the window. At first, Hermione thought it was just a bird she caught outside, but on closer inspection, she realized that it wasn't just any bird. She'd recognize that old feather duster anywhere!
It was Errol.
Harry, protectively standing beside her, apparently recognized it too. "What the—"
"Errol?!" Hermione gasped. Harry immediately picked Errol up and went downstairs to take him to Hedwig's cage followed closely by Hermione when she noticed something else as they were entering the kitchen. "Harry, look!"
Harry looked down and almost paled when he saw the familiar red envelope tied to the brown owl's leg. "Oh crap—"
A loud crack! sounded off from outside the front door before he could even finish the words and Harry swiftly had his wand out in a second and aimed it at the doorway after putting himself in front of Hermione. Seconds later, the lanky form of Ronald Weasley filled the doorway, banging the doors open and holding a copy of the Daily Prophet under his arm.
"Ron?!" Harry blurted out when he saw their best friend, and the Chudley Cannons' newest Keeper, laying siege to his house. When he recovered from the shock, his lungs finally took action. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND?! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO JUST BURST IN A HOUSE LIKE THAT! I COULD HAVE HEXED YOU GOOD, YOU IDIOT!"
"Sorry…hah… Harry… I just… hah…" the red head looked at the bird still under Harry's arm when he noticed a flash of red and saw their family owl wheezing as Harry held it. "What the—? Errol beat me here?!"
"Ron?" Hermione called from behind Harry.
But Ron was focused on the Howler Errol was carrying, "Quick! Throw it away!"
But it was too late. The red envelope exploded in front of them and delivered a tongue lashing of the first degree. It was so loud that they all had to put their hands over their ears.
"HERMIONE GRANGER!" it shrieked in Mrs. Weasley's voice. "HOW DARE YOU FORCE HARRY TO MARRY YOU! HOW DARE YOU, YOU DIRTY, LITTLE TROLLOP!"
Hermione flinched.
"IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL RIP OFF ALL THAT HAIR OFF YOUR HEAD! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE HARRY PICK UP A DEATH EATER'S LEFT OVERS JUST SO YOU CAN SHARE IN HIS LIMELIGHT! THE NERVE! YOU'VE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF HARRY'S FRIENDSHIP JUST SO YOU CAN GET BACK TO THE GOOD GRACES OF THE COMMUNITY AFTER MARRYING THAT SLIMY SPAWN OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF, YOU DISGUSTING, WORTHLESS, UGLY, REVOLTING LITTLE TRAMP! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD TREAT HARRY LIKE THAT, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS FRIEND! SOME FRIEND YOU ARE, MANIPULATING YOUR WAY INTO BECOMING FAMOUS OVERNIGHT BY USING THAT POOR CHILD! YOU HAD BETTER HIDE BECAUSE ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU SORRY YOU WERE EVEN BORN, YOU FILTHY, SNEAKY, CONNIVING LITTLE BITCH!" then, in a sweet, soft voice, the Howler added, "And, Harry, dear, don't you worry. I'll make sure to find a way to get you out of that nasty business. Once Arthur gets home, I'll have him call up his contacts to get you out of that fix so hang on."
The envelope then made a very rude gesture at Hermione and ripped itself into pieces in front of them, leaving the three of them pale. After a while, Harry swallowed and turned to Ron angrily. "JUST WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!"
Ron winced at the volume of his voice (his ears were still ringing from his mother's howler) and handed him the wizarding newspaper. "I just read it this morning when I came by the Burrow. Mum called me away from practice because of it. She said it was all over the Evening Prophet too! She was literally foaming at the mouth and brandishing the paper in front of my face like a loon! Then she was shrieking about sending Errol to give Hermione a piece of her mind as I read the article. I was shocked and I just knew I had to see you guys. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU GUYS GOT BLOODY MARRIED?!"
Harry and Hermione didn't answer him and instead, grabbed the newspaper and saw a photograph of herself on the front cover walking along the corridors of the Ministry of Magic building, looking harried and holding onto Vera, with Harry providing escort. He started to read out loud:
"HARRY POTTER'S GREATEST SACRIFICE"
Wizarding world's greatest hero, forced into marriage!
'This morning, Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge has announced the marriage of the wizarding world's greatest hero and Order of Merlin, First Class holder and Auror officer, Harry Potter, to deceased Death Eater's wife, Mrs. Hermione Malfoy.
The Minister informed this Daily Prophet reporter last night that Mr. Potter, the man who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, has agreed to this arrangement due to Mrs. Malfoy's coercion and sly blackmailing.
This reporter has quoted Minister Fudge saying, "The poor boy didn't know what hit him. That woman acted all pathetic and spouting things about their friendship while they were in school and all. Even used the innocence of her and that Death Eater's spawn! That poor, poor boy…"
("What?!" Harry roared. "That PIG!")
After signing a binding magical agreement of bonding, Harry Potter has now been hand fasted by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore himself, Order of Merlin, First Class, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and current Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Such a sacred custom unfit for such a person with such a horrid past! And by a powerful and highly respected wizard, too! This reporter was absolutely shocked that the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would allow this blasphemy to take place! Especially since we all know of all the atrocities the Malfoys did during the second Wizard Wars.
Where is the justice in this?! To have our hero protect our greatest nemesis?!
You all might remember Mrs. Malfoy as former Miss Hermione Granger who was once reported of playing with both Harry Potter and Victor Krum's affections six years ago during the fateful Tri Wizard Tournament that claimed our beloved Cedric Diggory.
This reporter is saddened by the fact that Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the boy who has already sacrificed and lost so much in order to save our world, should sell himself so cheap, and to a Death Eater's wife.
All we can say is that, we understand you didn't really wanted this to happen, Harry. And the wizarding world will be with you all the way.'
Hermione glanced at the name of the reporter who wrote the column, half expecting Rita Skeeter's name printed on it, but was shocked at what she saw. The reporter's name was the last person she would have expected.
It was signed by Cho Chang…
"Circe give me strength…"
Hermione grabbed the article from him and read the column once, then twice. After that, she crumpled up the newspaper and muttered an angry spell that incinerated the pages before turning silently away from the two men who were watching her every move. Finally, she faced them. Her eyes were dry and angry and filled with a frustration anyone could only imagine.
"Are you telling me that you're mother is thinking the worst of me AGAIN, Ronald?!" she asked Ron, exasperated, keeping her rage in check.
Ron turned as red as his hair and mumbled, "Well… erm… you know how she is about Harry—"
"I'm going to kill him…" Harry was muttering, his eyes flashing. "I am SO going to KILL him!"
"You still haven't answered my bloody question! What do you guys mean you've gotten married?!" Ron demanded. "You guys could've at least owled me! And you, Hermione—" he turned to his female best friend. "—is everything that's written there true?! Because if it is, I swear—"
"Oh for the love of Merlin, Ron, we only did it to save my daughter!" Hermione growled. She then explained everything to him which left the red head gaping in shock and indignation. "Trust us, Ron, if it were only an ordinary hand fasting, you would have been there. Believe me. But we're only doing this to protect my child. It's basically a marriage in name only."
Ron still looked sulky. "I still don't buy it."
Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Ron, I fought beside you during the final battle! What other proof do you want from me that would make you see sense?!"
"Why should I believe you?! You might have been infected by that ferret's lies!" he growled at her darkly.
Hermione was struck speechless by the malevolence in his voice. So strong was it that she took a step back from him. "Ron—"
The red head's jaw clenched tightly as he crossed is arms over his chest. "This is all you're fault. You shouldn't have married Harry. Now, Harry's going to have to burden himself with you and he's got more on his plate than it already is."
"Ron!" Harry protested angrily. Hermione knew Ron can be a mule headed baboon at times, but to be blatantly unreasonable? She hadn't seen her best friend act like this since the Yule Ball back in fourth year! "I forced Hermione to marry me! She didn't want to marry me in the first place! If I hadn't they'll kill her baby!"
"Well who told her to marry Malfoy, anyway?!" Ron burst out, his face flaming all of a sudden. His brown eyes filled with such resentment, it took Hermione aback. "No one told you to make out with that damn ferret!"
"I loved him, Ron." Hermione replied quietly. "I thought I already explained this? I thought we already understood each other. I didn't have a choice back then—"
"Yes you did!" Ron snapped at her. "You had a choice then!"
"I was going to have his baby—"
"YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED ME!"
A ringing silence invaded the whole room and reigned for several moments before Hermione could break through it once again.
"Ron!" Hermione gestured at him helplessly. "You know I didn't have feelings for you. I couldn't marry you because it wouldn't have worked out. Baby or no ba—"
"How would you know, you've never even given me a chance!" he snapped at her furiously. "You gave everyone else— but me— a chance!"
Hermione could see the frustration and the fury and the hurt in his bright blue eyes. She had no idea he still felt that way about her. When she made it clear that all she wanted from him was friendship and he didn't complain about it, she thought he finally gave up on her. Especially since he'd had a gaggle of girlfriends since. It took her a while before she could answer him.
"Because I can't love you as anything more than a friend, Ron!" Hermione shot back, trying her best to be as patient as she could. "Sure I had a crush on you back in fourth year but it was just a bloody infatuation! It was over long before I ever really felt anything for Draco! I loved him as I never loved you and I'm sorry but I can't lie to you and hurt you that way!"
"But you could marry Harry?! Do you mean you can love him but not me?!" Ron shouted at her. "Was Harry second best for you and I'll never be good enough?!"
"Ron, Harry only married me to save Vera." Hermione tried again, her patience and what meagre strength she had, waning. "It was the Ministry's decision, not mine. They said they wanted a respected member of the community to serve as Vera's guardian."
"I'M a respected member of the community! I've got an Order of Merlin, First Class same as him! I stood on the dais along with him! I fought the same war he did!"
"But you're not what they had in mind, Ron! You're not—"
"Harry Potter?" He finished for her bluntly. Bitterly.
"Ron—"
"Never mind, I understand and I'm leaving." Ron announced angrily before thundering back outside in high dudgeon leaving his two best friends looking helplessly after him.
"Ron!"
"I'll try to talk some sense into him. You and Vera should stay here. He's just… well… being Ron." Harry told her before stalking off to follow the furious red head.
Hermione stood in the middle of the living room, feeling helpless and defeated. The argument felt as if it sapped all the remaining strength in her body. A pair of tears ran down her cheeks as Hedwig landed on her shoulder. Nipping strands of her hair in her best gesture to offer comfort to her master's wife…
"When…" she whispered softly as she fought the tears. "When had things changed so much… for all of us…..?"