Summary: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?
MO/N: Happy/ Merry Christmas! Stupid bloody sayings of the British (not literally).
Chapter Four: Isn't it Obvious?
"Professor Dumbledore, the Hogsmeade people are here." McGonagall called.
"All right Minerva, I'll be down in a moment."
Dumbledore put away his pensive, and then he left his office, and down the steps. Madame Rosmerta was standing at the bottom of the staircase. "Albus! Have you seen Emily? I can't find her."
"She's missing too? That's five people." Dumbledore muttered.
"Five people? Emily isn't dead is she?" Madame Rosmerta asked frantically.
"We're not sure…were missing three students and a Professor." Dumbledore said. McGonagall was reassuring Rosmerta that everything would be fine and solved in the morning.
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Ginny woke up, and immediately went to see Hermione. She only saw Lavender and Pavarti sleeping. She quietly closed the door and ran to the seventh year guy's dormitory. She saw Dean, Neville, Seamus, Fred, and George.
"Hey! You're not supposed to be in here!" Seamus called from his bed. He was the only one up.
Pointedly ignoring his comment she went on. "Where are Harry, Ron, and Hermione?"
"They never came back!" Fred shouted in his sleep. "Candied Lemon pie burgers!" He shouted after that.
Silence…
Ginny ran to Fred, and shook him awake. "Why are you in Ron's bed?"
"How do you know this is Ron's bed?" Fred said, squinting at Ginny.
Ginny slapped him. "There is a trunk with a giant "R" and he's the only one who likes the Chuddley Cannons. He likes them so much that he'll have a Chuddley Cannon's poster and pillow!"
"Oh." Fred mumbled, sitting up. By now, everyone is awake. George traveled to Ron/Fred's bed and sat on it.
"What's the matter Gin?" He asked.
"They're still gone!" Ginny cried out.
"Snape might be with them, or they might just be playing a trick. They could be in the Shrieking Shack or something." Fred said.
"Did you check the map?" Ginny hissed.
"Of course we did! We're not dunder heads." George said, placidly.
"Yeah!" Fred added. He still wasn't fully awake.
"Were they there then?" Ginny asked.
"Err…no." George said.
"Then why would they go there then?" Ginny asked.
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"I wonder, are they worrying about us at school?" Hermione asked Emily.
"Probably. I'm supposed to be there right now. Usually when it storms really badly, we go to Hogwarts. Michelle is probably there."
"Michelle?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah, Madame Michelle Rosmerta. You didn't know her first name?" Emily asked.
"No I didn't."
She and Hermione talked for a little bit.
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Ron woke up, feeling really hungry, and the fact that Harry just basically rolled over him. He stood up and went downstairs, because he heard Hermione and Emily talking.
Snape was asleep until the sun rose over the snow in the window, and was shinning in his eyes.
"Bloody window." Snape murmured. Snape was about to stretch, when he noticed that his cover was gone. He looked at the sun again.
Harry rolled next to Snape, and hit him three times on the stomach, then his hand rested there.
Snape was surprised, and he looked around wildly. The he looked down, and saw Harry, rolled in his blanket and Snape's blanket, and his hand was on his stomach. Harry hit him three times…
Snape threw Harry's hand away, and jumped up. He tried to walk out of the room, but he heard a crack, crack, jumble, and jumble. He looked down, and realized he stepped on Harry's glasses. Cursing, he picked them up, and the shattered lenses, and took them with him to the kitchen. He grabbed Hermione's wand, then went downstairs. He ran down the steps, rubbing his stomach. The wand and glasses were in his pocket.
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"Then dad told me no!" Ron said, waiving a hand in the air.
Emily and Hermione were laughing at Ron's story.
BB/N: Has anyone noticed that Ron does that a lot? In the second chapter he said, "And mum told me no!" LoL. We just couldn't think of anything to type.
"Granger! Fix these!" Snape said, still rubbing his stomach. He pulled her wand and the glasses out of his pocket, and set it on the counter.
Hermione looked at Snape, then turned away, her face red. Emily giggled, and Ron stood stock still, stunned.
"What?"
"Err…Professor, please put a shirt on. There are children here!" Emily giggled.
"Oh." Snape looked around, and saw his black shirt hung up and dry. He put it on.
Hermione looked at Harry's glasses. "What happened to them?"
"Potter rolled on them." Snape said.
Ron nodded his head. "That's believable. Can you honestly believe that he rolled over me? He was between Professor Snape, and me then he woke me up because he rolled over me. He probably would have killed Mione if she were there." Ron said.
Hermione sighed and muttered, "Reparo!" And then she used a spell that made it impossible to break.
It was quiet for a moment, and then they heard thunder. Harry fell down the steps and hit the door.
Ron opened the door, and Harry rolled out. He stood up. "I'm okay, honestly. I don't have my glasses." While rubbing the bruises on his chest he got the day before. He kind of lost his shirt.
"Oh those are pretty bad bruises." Emily said.
"I fell on Hermione's books. It was yesterday. It's getting hard to breath."
Hermione handed him his glasses. "Here Harry."
Harry put them on. "Why were they down here?"
"Err…they were sticking on Ron's…shirt…robe thing." Hermione said.
"Why didn't you put them back?" Harry asked.
"We just found them." Ron said.
"Oh."
-----
Later in the day, Snape conjured up a potion using Emily's wand. He gave it to Harry so it would be a bit easier to breath and whatnot.
Ron and Hermione were alone in the kitchen. They were making a grocery list. It didn't look like the snow was going to let up.
"So, if we have leftovers from last night. We can have them for lunch today." Hermione said.
"Okay, then would you be able to conjure up stuff for dinner?" Ron asked.
Hermione nodded. "What are we going to have?"
"Let's put it on this list." Ron said.
Behind the door Harry and Emily were listening. "How could they be talking like that? Last night they were like lion's trying to attack one another." Emily whispered.
"Well, they're best friends who happen to be in love with each other, and they won't tell." Harry said.
"Isn't that obvious? I could tell for years." Snape appeared out of nowhere.
"What's obvious?" Hermione yelled from the kitchen.
"Laundry detergent. It's blue, isn't that obvious?" Snape asked.
"Oh…yeah it is."
Snape turned around and left, leaving Emily and Harry alone and confused.
"Okay…" Emily said.
----
It's hectic at Hogwarts. It was the second night, late, late at night. Remus Lupin, the DADA Professor was substituting for Slytherin. Remus asked the same question over and over again. "Have you seen Harry, Ron, and or Hermione?" He finally got to Draco Malfoy.
"Have you see Harry, Ron, and or Hermione?" Lupin asked.
"Potter, Weasley, and Granger are dead." Malfoy said behind his hand.
Remus gasped. And left.
"Probably." Malfoy added to himself.
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"THEY COULD BE ALBUS!" Remus shouted, running into the office.
Sirius was in Dumbledore's office, holding a 'Special Edition Daily Prophet'. "What is this about? It says Peter Pettigrew has escaped Azkaban Prison. His last words heard from him were, "Voldemort is gonna get the five! Voldemort is gonna get the five!" And then I read on and find out five people are missing, including Harry Potter." Sirius said angrily. "Why hasn't anyone told his Godfather about this. It's been two days since anyone has seen him!"
"What do you mean Remus?" Dumbledore asked.
"I just talked to Malfoy!" Remus said.
"So?" Sirius said.
"He said Harry, Ron, and Hermione were dead! And you know how he has his connections with his father. The DEATHEATER." Remus said.
Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore all looked at the fireplace, as the fire lit up. Out came Molly Weasley, holding the same paper, her wand clutched in her hand. Arthur was right behind her, holding the same paper, his wand clutched in his hand just as tightly. Sparks were emitting from their wands.
"WHERE IS MY SON?" Molly bellowed.
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"I wonder what Mum doing." Ron said.
"Why?" Hermione asked.
"I don't know. When I think about cooking and grocery lists, I think about Mum. And right now, I think she is angry and upset, and yelling at someone."
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"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE MY SON IS?" Molly yelled.
"Mrs. Weasley, calm down."
"DON'T TELL HER TO CALM DOWN! WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!" Arthur yelled.
McGonagall came in, with Ginny, Fred, and George. Ginny ran to her mum. "Mummy! Ron and me got in a fight, and I told him I hated him! And I haven't seen him. I feel awful. He could be lying in a bloody he-"
"Ginny don't think that way. We will find your brother, and my Godson." Sirius said.
"And my almost Daughter, soon to be daughter, Hermione!" Molly shouted.
"Won't WE Albus?" Arthur asked.
-----
"I think my dad is angry too!" Ron said.
BB/N: This was really interesting. It goes back and forth. Ron should be a seer. Also, in this fanfic, Sirius came back from the dead somehow in Harry's sixth year…okay? So he was dead. He was…
MO/N: I feel bad for Dumbledore a little bit. I would be quite frightened if I were him.