Dawn was breaking over Hogwarts. The storms of the previous night had eventually abated and moved south, leaving the lawns green and lush from the drenching they had received. Early morning sunlight filtered through the few clouds that remained, causing the castle to glow almost magically and a slight breeze rippled the lake and sent the sunlight sparkling like diamonds across the water.
From a window in a tower high above, Minerva McGonagall gazed out over the grounds of Hogwarts impervious to the beauty of the new day that was beginning. She had awoken alone, although this in itself was no great surprise. Every morning for the last ten years she had awoken alone and up until now she had never felt sad about it. But today things were different: Remus Lupin, her colleague and her lover of the previous night, was no longer in her bed. Despite the truths they had shared, despite the passion and intimacy of their encounter, he had gone before the sun had even risen and Minerva was alone once more.
Her mind drifted back to the previous summer. She had been pleased when Dumbledore had informed her of his choice for Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, but as the beginning of term had grown closer she had felt mild apprehension. It had been sixteen years since they'd last spoken, sixteen long, eventful years filled with pain and sadness and the deaths of people they'd cared for deeply, even loved. Could things ever be the same between them? When he'd arrived she'd been shocked to see how much he'd aged, his hair already streaked with grey despite his relative youth. They'd seen little of each other during the first few weeks of term, but then last night they'd finally sat down and talked and Minerva had discovered that, deep down, Remus Lupin was still the man she had known and loved as a teenager.
The sound of the clock chiming the quarter hour roused her from her reverie and she turned away from the window and started to dress, ignoring all the while the growing heaviness in her heart. Why had he left her? Did he regret what they had done? And then a new thought struck her: did she regret it? Her behaviour had been completely out of character. All those years of restraint forgotten in the heat of the moment. But now in the clear light of day, despite great effort, she felt no remorse or shame. She wondered if Remus knew that he had been the first to touch her that way. Probably not, she decided. Oh, she knew some of the students speculated – usually those that had born the brunt of her wrath after some misdemeanour or other – but most people found it hard to believe that a woman of her age could possibly be still – and she shuddered at the word – a virgin.
She hadn't intended to remain single this long but life at Hogwarts had kept Minerva away from the seedier side of the wizarding world and she had rarely come into contact with men other than her colleagues and visitors from Ministry of Magic. Oh, Cornelius Fudge had tried it on a few times despite being married and Andreas Aspartin had eyed her lustfully across the high table for almost a month until she'd threatened to castrate him with a carefully aimed severing charm, but for the most part Minerva had been left alone. Her lack of a love life rarely bothered her: in fact she was glad to avoid the complications and altercations of a romantic relationship. Minerva prized her reputation very highly and was nothing but professional. The very notion of throwing all that away in search of mindless sexual gratification was absurd to say the least.
Now, looking at the rumpled sheets and scattered clothing that reminded her she had not dreamt the whole thing, Minerva felt no regret. Only sadness that the man she loved had felt unable to remain by her side until morning.
* * * * *
Breakfast at Hogwarts began at seven thirty sharp and continued for an hour and a half, allowing plenty of time for those who were not early risers to drag themselves from the warmth of their beds and make their way slowly downstairs. Minerva prided herself on her timekeeping and was usually in her seat even before the house elves had finished laying the tables but today she had lingered too long upstairs and was now late. As she hurried down the last flight of stairs it was almost eight and she could already hear the buzz of dozens of conversations spilling from the large doorway ahead.
She entered the Great Hall and immediately her gaze fell on the High Table. Most of her colleagues were already seated and were no doubt wondering where the Deputy Headmistress was. Albus was deep in conversation with Venus Sinistra and Severus Snape, whose habitual scowl was, for once, absent. Hagrid was tucking into the mountain of food piled on his extra large plate, far too focused on his food to chatter with the others. Only Filius Flitwick noticed her standing there and waved enthusiastically. Remus was nowhere to be seen. Minerva did her best to push her disappointment aside and took her usual seat next to Dumbledore, who acknowledged her arrival with a cheery smile.
"Good morning!"
"Good morning, Albus," she said softly, helping herself to fresh yoghurt and cereal and hoping her late arrival would not be remarked upon.
"You look tired, my dear." He held her gaze until she looked away.
"The storm kept me awake," she said. "Why is Venus looking so excited?"
Reluctantly he allowed her to change the subject and proceeded to tell her about Venus' plans for a new telescope that would allow photographs of the night sky to be taken. Minerva did her best to appear interested but she could not tear her eyes away from the door. The minutes ticked by but there was still no sign of Remus. Finally she finished her breakfast and promptly excused herself.
The day seemed to drag on forever. Throughout her morning classes she was distracted by the memories of the previous night. No awkward teenage fumbling, just perfect harmony as they'd moved together, doing their best to try and heal each other's pain. She remembered the heat of his skin against hers, the smell of his aftershave, the look in his eyes as he'd lifted her gently on to her bed. Lost in her own thoughts, Minerva barely noticed when Neville Longbottom inadvertently transfigured his apple into a large and noxious smelling venus flytrap. She dealt with the resulting chaos without any harsh words or deductions of house points, leaving her class to wonder if someone had placed her under the Imperius curse. She ate lunch alone in her office under the pretext of marking homework essays.
Her only class after lunch was the seventh year advanced human transfiguration group. It was a two-hour session and she forced herself to concentrate, knowing only too well that if she did not then the consequences could be disastrous. Human transfiguration had been off the Hogwarts curriculum for many years since Dumbledore's successor as Transfiguration Professor had been distracted by the sight of Poppy Pomfrey in a sundress and had accidentally transfigured two of his students into marshmallows. There had been uproar from both their parents and the Board of Governors. Only in recent years had Minerva managed to persuade Dumbledore that the subject could be taught safely and she knew she could not afford any mistakes. As the lesson progressed she became absorbed in the subject matter and started to enjoy herself. Transfiguration fascinated her and she loved nothing more than sharing her knowledge with others, particularly the more senior classes who were always keen to learn and constantly asked questions. When the bell rang to signal the end of the lesson she was almost reluctant to finish.
"Homework will be two rolls on Aviland's Theory of Antiform Spells and how it can be applied to cross-species transfiguration," she called, and there was a rush of movement as the class hurried to scribble down their assignment.
Suddenly a great deal of whispering broke out amongst the students and she followed their curious gazes to the doorway.
Remus Lupin stood waiting there.
Waiting for her?
Despite her unhappiness, she couldn't escape the surge of arousal that shot through her veins and set her skin tingling. She felt her cheeks grow warm with desire and hoped that her class would not notice the flush of red across her normally pale face. She closed her eyes for the briefest second. Remembering. Hoping. Bracing herself for the rejection she felt was inevitable. He saw that she had noticed him and came over to where she stood.
"How are you?" he asked, concern evident in his expression.
"I missed you this morning," she said, her voice barely a whisper but deceptively calm. "Why did you leave?"
"I was afraid you'd got more than you bargained for last night."
"Well, perhaps I did. But trust me, Remus. I'm quite capable of saying no. And if I recall correctly, it was I who asked you to…"
Awkwardly she broke off. She was acutely aware of the eyes of her class upon her, watching her and Remus curiously as they packed away their things. Heaven forbid that their relationship should become the subject of gossip. Rumours spread like wildfire at Hogwarts and could do a lot of damage if left unchecked.
"I can't talk about this now," she said instead, turning away from him and placing her books back onto the shelves behind her desk.
"Can I see you after dinner?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Fine. Now please go!"
Obediently he left the room.
* * * * *
Minerva laid the pile of homework parchments down on her coffee table and removed her cloak and hat, hanging them carefully on the back of the door. She had less than an hour until dinner, having been accosted by first Hermione Granger and then Albus as she tried to escape back upstairs. Hermione's question about her transfiguration essay had been relatively easy to answer but Albus had delayed her rather longer, wanting her opinion first on a letter from the Ministry and then on his rather ambitious plans for reintroducing the Triwizard Tournament. Grateful to be free at last, Minerva went to run herself a bath.
As the large, sunken tub slowly filled, she replayed her earlier conversation with Remus in her head. From the small amount he'd said it was hard to tell whether he wanted to continue with their fledgling relationship or whether he regretted the whole thing and just felt guilty for leading her on in the first place. She hoped it wasn't the latter. He'd made the first move, after all, and he'd known how she felt about him. Well, how she'd felt about him when she was seventeen anyway. She undressed slowly, remembering his hands undressing her barely twenty-four hours ago. Perhaps it would be best if they didn't continue things, she considered. After all, there were quite a few people that wouldn't be impressed if they found out. Severus Snape, for one. He'd made no secret of the fact that he disliked and distrusted Remus. If he found out that they had slept together he would have a field day. There was no knowing how much trouble he would stir up. It wasn't that Dumbledore would disapprove – most likely he'd encourage them provided they were discreet – but Severus had a remarkable knack for spreading rumours. If their affair became common knowledge there would be serious repercussions for both of them.
Satisfied with the water level, Minerva turned off the taps and was about to step into the bath when a sudden knock sounded at the door. With a sigh, she pulled on her tartan dressing gown and went to answer the door.
Remus Lupin was waiting in the corridor, a bouquet of flowers clutched in one hand and a sheepish grin on his face.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked.
Minerva tried to frown at him but couldn't suppress her delight at seeing him.
"I thought you said 'after dinner'?"
"I realised I couldn't wait that long," he said, holding out the flowers. She accepted them graciously but did not move from the doorway. For a moment there was silence as both of them pondered what to say next.
Eventually Remus spoke. "I had to take the wolfsbane potion this morning. There's only two days until full moon and I didn't take any last night because I was with you. I was going to come back but then I was afraid you'd regret what we did. I thought it would be easier for you if I wasn't there."
"I don't regret it, Remus," Minerva said firmly. "Surely you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't be pressured into doing anything I wasn't comfortable with."
"Well, yes. But I also know you're not the kind of woman to jump into bed with just anyone on the spur of the moment."
Minerva looked embarrassed for a moment.
"Remus, you're not 'just anyone'," she said. "It's because I felt so strongly about you that I did what I did."
"Really?"
He gave her a relieved smile and reached out to hug her. She fell willingly into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder as he embraced her tightly. After a moment he released her, then leaned forward to kiss her chastely on the lips.
"Well, we only have two days," he said. "We should make the most of it. Starting now."
"My bath is getting cold," she protested faintly.
"Bath?" he queried. A wicked gleam appeared in his eyes. Taking a step forward, he lifted her easily into his arms eliciting a gasp of surprise. He kicked the door closed behind them and carried her through into her bathroom, setting her gently down beside the tub.
"Remus, we'll miss dinner!"
"Not if we're quick," he said firmly, beginning to undress. Finally all of his clothing was strewn across the floor and he stepped down into the bath, sliding gently into the sweetly scented bubbles. Minerva watched with amusement as he dived beneath the surface and then re-emerged, shaking the water from his hair. A moment later she joined him, smiling shyly from across the water.
Remus was first to break the silence.
"Professor McGonagall, I do believe I'm falling in love with you. I apologise for any embarrassment this may cause you. I'm sure if we work together we can find a way to deal with this."
Minerva cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Together?"
"Together," he confirmed.
He reached for her, pulling her into his embrace.
"Well, then, Professor Lupin," she said huskily. "It appears I have no choice."
She cupped her hands against his face and lowered her mouth to kiss him, feverish and passionate. Her dark hair fell loose and floated like a raven's wing on the surface of the water as they moved together. No more words were spoken, only soft moans growing louder and more urgent until at last they reached sweet, shuddering release. They finished washing together then dried and dressed in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, rather a comfortable peace borne of the closeness between them. Remus' threadbare robes looked a little crumpled but he was too happy to care.
"May I escort you to dinner?"
With a grin he proffered his arm and she took it with a smile, allowing him to lead her outside and along the corridor. They reached the top of the marble staircase and heard voices approaching from the opposite direction. Quickly Minerva disentangled herself from Remus, kissing him affectionately on the cheek before turning to make her way down to the Great Hall, slightly ahead of him but conscious all the while of his presence behind her. She was not conscious of the figure that watched them from across the landing, whose gaze followed them downstairs, whose mouth was twisted into a malevolent smirk.
Whose eyes gleamed with triumph at the discovery of their secret.
Severus Snape stood for a moment longer before he, too, set off downstairs to dinner.