~
The dungeons at Hogwarts had their entrance through a dark stone archway off the bottom of the main staircase, an uninviting portal through which the wind whistled shrilly on stormy nights. Most of the staff avoided going down those steps wherever possible, preferring to confine their activities to the warmth and light of the main castle. Most of the staff, but not Severus Snape.
As she strode swiftly down the narrow corridors, Minerva wondered again what on earth it was that possessed her colleague to make his home in this cold, unfeeling dungeon. She knew little of Severus' past, only that he had been a supporter of Voldemort until turning spy for Dumbledore, who had since protected him at Hogwarts. He never spoke of his childhood or youth, or how he came to be a death eater, obviously preferring to keep such matters private. Perhaps he had told Dumbledore more, but all Minerva knew was that he was an only child and both his parents were dead.
The staccato tap of her heels rang out loudly as she walked, echoing along the passageway. Curious Slytherin students turned to look at her, unused to seeing the Deputy Headmistress in this part of the castle and wondering who was in trouble. Minerva did not notice, however: her thoughts had drifted back to the previous week and the attack by Sirius Black on Gryffindor Tower, which had left her extremely shaken. Over the years she'd got used to the idea of Hogwarts being a safe haven, impenetrable to enemies and dark forces alike. Now she cursed her complacency. Sirius Black had been in their midst and they hadn't even seen him. Harry and his friends had a knack for turning up where they weren't supposed to be – what if they had decided to leave the feast early and go back to their common room? Harry could have been murdered; right where he was supposed to be secure and protected. Determined to prevent any such attack from happening again, Minerva had instructed her colleagues to keep a close eye on the boy. She'd been uneasy about evening Quidditch practice but with Madam Hooch watching over the team he was probably safer on the pitch than in the castle. Still, she hoped she'd done the right thing.
The corridor widened out into a small hallway and she stopped abruptly. Another passageway led off in the distance towards Slytherin house, and a door just a few feet beyond opened into the potions classroom. The entrance Minerva was interested in was right next to her: dark wood with intricately carved serpents and a nameplate that read "Professor Severus Snape". Severus rarely ate lunch in the Great Hall with everyone else and Minerva was almost certain she'd find him here.
She knocked sharply, and a moment later the door creaked open. Severus peered at her from within, his lank, dark hair framing a sallow face and dark eyes that stared at her with interest.
"Well, well," he sneered. "Minerva. What a pleasant surprise."
It was clear that he was going to enjoy this and Minerva suppressed a shudder.
"I think we need to have a little talk," she said calmly.
He stared at her a moment longer and then shrugged, pulling the door wide open to reveal his office. The fire had been lit but was burning low, it's tentative flames reflected eerily by the glass jars stacked row upon row on the shelves above. Minerva had been down here enough times to know that their gruesome contents served no useful purpose and instead existed solely as a means of unnerving visitors. Ignoring them, she followed him down a few shallow steps and across to the far wall of the office where there was a stone pillar carved in a similar way to the door. Severus muttered his password in a low tone and the pillar split slowly in two, each half sliding away until a large opening was revealed. She followed him silently through into his living quarters, decorated in typical Slytherin style with black leather furniture and dark green hangings. A cold draught accompanied them through, until the entrance snapped smartly shut behind them.
"You're sleeping with him, aren't you?" Severus said abruptly, before she had even sat down.
Minerva was taken aback.
"That is none of your business!" she snapped, her cheeks blazing with anger.
Severus merely shrugged.
"So what do you want from me?" he asked.
"Who says I want anything from you?" She was still smarting from his previous question.
"Why would you be down here if you didn't?"
She couldn't find an easy response to this. Instead she took a seat, aware of his gaze following her as she did so. She'd thought she was prepared for whatever he could throw at her but instead he'd managed to wrong foot her right from the start of their conversation. She'd met few people that her wit and intelligence could not better: he was one of those few. And from the expression on his face, he knew it.
"Why do you have it in for Remus?" she asked.
Severus raised his eyebrows. "I should have thought that was obvious," he said patronisingly. "His very presence here is a threat: to our safety, to the safety of the students. To Harry."
At the mention of Harry's name her head shot up in surprise.
"Don't you dare-" she began angrily.
"Minerva, this may come as something of a shock to you but it does bother me to think that we might find our little superstar murdered in his bed."
"You're the one making his potion. You of all people should know he's safe."
"I'm not talking about his… condition," he sneered. "I'm talking about who he's friends with. But you're right, that is also a concern."
"Remus has not been a friend of Sirius Black for twelve years!" Minerva protested.
"Oh, come on, Minerva. It's too much of a coincidence: Black escapes from Azkaban – the first ever to do so, I might add – and then his best friend gets a job at Hogwarts – the very place where Black's sworn enemy Harry Potter is at school. How can you tell me that's just chance?"
Minerva took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. Losing her temper would only make things worse.
"Albus trusts him," she said quietly. "That should be good enough for all of us."
"Albus is wrong." His tone was stubborn and he stared unflinchingly across at her.
"He wasn't wrong about you," Minerva replied, meeting his gaze. Her words hit their intended target: there was a sudden flash of rage in Severus' dark eyes. He leant forward and opened his mouth to argue but she continued before he had a chance to speak.
"Remember when everyone said he was crazy for trusting you? For giving you a chance? Don't you think Remus should have a chance too?"
Her words echoed loudly in the ensuing silence. Severus leapt to his feet and strode over to where she sat, leaning close.
"This is different!" he hissed angrily, his fists clenched. His face was purple with rage and Minerva knew she'd hit a nerve. Determined not to let him intimidate her, she stood, pushing him out of her way as she did so. They faced each other in the middle of the living room, neither willing to back down.
"How is this different?"
"Because I wasn't best friends with a convicted murderer!" Severus shouted. "Because I was in fear of my life and needed protection! Because I had information that could help! None of which applies to Remus bloody Lupin!" He spat the name at her derisively, unwilling and unable to see any sense in her argument.
Minerva sighed in frustration and turned away, facing his bookcase and studying the volumes it held in an attempt to calm herself down. Reflected in its glass front she saw him stalk back to his armchair and throw himself heavily into it.
"Isn't it better if he's with me?" she said eventually. "I would know if he was up to anything, if he was sneaking out of the castle at night."
"So you are sleeping with him."
She didn't speak but her back went rigid and she closed her eyes, cursing herself for not seeing it coming. She didn't need to look in the glass to see the look of smug satisfaction she knew he would be wearing: she could see it perfectly clearly in her head. She could feel their confrontation slipping further and further from her control and she was powerless to stop it. She'd used every argument she had now: soon she would have to admit defeat and walk away. He'd win and he'd never let her forget it.
"Love is blind, Minerva," he said, interrupting her reverie. His tone wasn't as harsh as before but there was still an edge to it. "Would you trust him so much if he wasn't your lover?"
Would I still trust him? Minerva considered the question for a moment and then realised she already knew the answer.
"Yes," she said softly, and meant it. Turning to face him she continued: "Severus, please don't say anything."
"Why should I keep your dirty little secret?" he sneered. "How am I to know he hasn't placed you under the Imperius curse."
"Don't be so stupid!" Minerva took a deep breath. "Please. If not for him then for me. If anything happens that makes you suspect him more then you can go to Albus."
"Albus should know now," he said stubbornly. "He's always been honest with you, hasn't he?"
"Yes," she admitted, defeated at last. "You're right. I will talk to Albus."
She got to her feet, unwilling to stay any longer than was necessary. Just as she was moving towards the door he called her back.
"I won't say anything," he said slowly.
"What?" she said in surprise.
"Provided you tell Albus. And as long as he stays out of trouble." He held her gaze until he was sure that she knew he was serious.
"Thank you."
He called out the password and the entrance from his office reopened for her to leave.
"Be careful," he called as she left. "We still don't know how Black got past the Dementors."
Minerva hurried back upstairs as quickly as she could, partly because she was hungry and partly because she feared that the potions master would call her back at any moment to tell her he'd changed his mind. Remus had warned her off going to see Severus, knowing the man too well from his own schooldays to expect him to be understanding now. But Minerva had been determined to try. She and Severus had been colleagues for almost two decades now but had never had much to do with each other. In attitude, interests and upbringing they were entirely different people, too different to find any common ground upon which to build a relationship. But just as friendship between them had never blossomed, neither had any kind of hatred. Indeed, despite the rivalry between their two houses, Minerva believed he had a grudging respect for her, as she did for him. Now she had been proved right, but nevertheless it was a fragile bond and one she did not want to test further.
* * * * *
With half an hour of her lunch break remaining, Minerva ducked into the Great Hall for a quick sandwich and then headed upstairs to her small but comfortable office intent on spending her remaining time making a start on the homework essays she still had to mark. Normally they would have been done by now – in fact, she had started work on them two nights ago, only to be distracted again by Remus who had persuaded her to take a late night boat ride with him. It had been worth it: the rain had stopped briefly leaving a clear starlight night and the lake was calm and peaceful, reflecting spectacularly the castle towering above. Nevertheless, the work still waited to be done and she was determined to finish it today. Reaching the first floor she turned down the corridor that led to her office only to find Remus stood waiting by the door. Quickly she filled him in on her conversation with Severus, finishing with what he'd said about Black escaping capture by the Dementors. Despite the good news that their colleague was not going to cause trouble for them after all, Remus seemed worried and strangely distracted.
"How do you think he made it past them?" he asked abruptly, an uncharacteristic frown on his face.
"Who knows," Minerva said slowly. "Dark magic, I expect. There are one or two spells that can be used. I wouldn't be surprised if You-Know-Who taught him a trick or two."
"You mean Voldemort," Remus said softly. "You can't still be afraid to say his name, surely?"
She smiled apologetically. "No, it's just a habit. I'm afraid I'll be careless and say Voldemort in front of the students, so I try not to say it at all. Anyway, Sirius evaded the Dementors to escape from Azkaban so we shouldn't really be surprised that he's managed to do it again."
Remus considered this for a moment and then nodded.
"Anyway, I just wanted to say good night." He gestured briefly at the sky to indicate that it was full moon, not that Minerva needed reminding.
"Don't you have a class to teach this afternoon?" she asked.
"No, Severus is going to cover it. It gets dark so early now – I don't want to take any unnecessary risks."
He tilted her head gently back with one hand and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
"I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."
She watched him walk away, torn between calling him back for another kiss and letting him go so that she could concentrate on her work. Finally duty won out, but it was too late. Before she could unlock the door to her office the bell rang to signal the start of afternoon lessons. Quickly she gathered her things together and left.
* * * * *
Minerva's only class on Thursday afternoons were the first year Hufflepuff students: an exceptionally well behaved group, in contrast to the somewhat over-excitable Gryffindors she had taught that morning, and the sullen Slytherin class that tended to scowl malevolently if admonished for the slightest thing. Teaching came instinctively to her and the hour-long lesson seemed only to last a very short time. Once she had restored a selection of attractive and not-so-attractive vases back into plain glass bottles ready for the next day, she returned to her office. This time there was no one waiting to interrupt her and she settled herself gratefully behind her desk and begun marking the pile of homework. For an hour and a half she worked without pausing, lost in concentration. Then the twilight descended and the office grew gradually darker until she could no longer see to read the parchments in front of her. The darkness made her remember Remus. He'd seemed very tense when she'd spoken to him earlier but perhaps it was just the thought of transforming that had him so unsettled. She knew he was upset about last weekend's incident with Sirius Black as well, understandably since Black had once been his friend. Severus Snape's earlier words found their way uninvited into her head but she pushed them angrily aside, completely certain that Remus would never knowingly let Harry be harmed. Before such thoughts could trouble her further she decided to make the short walk down to the staff room for tea.
The staff room was empty: typical, she thought, the one time I would really like to talk to someone and there's nobody here. She wondered briefly where her colleagues were and then realised that most of them would still be teaching. It wasn't quite four and most afternoon classes had yet to finish. Minerva cursed her lack of foresight and went instead to make herself a cup of camomile tea by the muggle method, only using magic to instantly boil the water. It never tasted the same when conjured out of thin air, no matter how many times she'd tried. She left the cup a while for the flavour to infuse, thinking all the while of her absent lover. She missed Remus already, feeling as if there was an empty space by her side. It wasn't so much that he wasn't there with her; it was more the fact that she could not reach him if she needed him. The earlier argument with Severus had left her feeling unsettled and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed with Remus, to feel his arms around her and know that it didn't really matter what Severus or anyone else thought. Then she thought of Xiomara Hooch and all the others she knew who'd lost partners and husbands in the war against Voldemort. Suddenly she felt very selfish. At least you know he's coming back, she reminded herself. Shouldn't that be enough?
Minerva took her cup and went to sit down, but just as she took her first sip, the door suddenly opened and Albus Dumbledore appeared, looking surprised to see her.
"I wasn't expecting to find you in here, my dear." He hesitated for a moment in the doorway and then seemed to come to a decision: leaving the door to slam loudly behind him he took a seat opposite her. Unlike Minerva he was not a tea connoisseur and simply conjured a mug of coffee from thin air.
"I was just taking a quick break," Minerva explained, and he nodded approvingly.
"Good. You seem happier lately," he added kindly. "I hope this means you've finally taken my advice and started to relax a little."
I should tell him, she thought. I promised Severus I would. I should tell him now while it's just the two of us here. She opened her mouth to speak but could not find adequate words to explain her relationship with Remus. Before she could agonise further, Albus broke the silence, almost as if he had read her mind.
"I saw Remus upstairs. I gather it's the full moon tonight."
Minerva could detect no underlying meaning in his voice, only honest concern.
"Yes… yes it is."
Unable to meet his gaze she stared out of the window. This was a mistake: the sight of the dusky evening sky only reminded her of Remus again… and made her feel even more guilty for lying to a man she respected and trusted, and who valued honesty above all else.
"In fact, that reminds me," Albus continued. "Severus has taken the third year Defence Against the Dark Arts class this afternoon on very short notice, but on the condition that he does not have to teach any of Remus' lessons tomorrow. Would you be willing to take on an extra class? I know it means a full day for you and I don't want to put you under too much pressure but…"
"Not at all, Albus. It's fine." She did her best to smile reassuringly at him. "Honestly, I'd be happy to."
"Well, if you're sure."
Albus finished his coffee and with a snap of his fingers the mug vanished back to wherever it was it had come from. Still he lingered, giving Minerva the horrible feeling that he knew more than he was letting on. But despite this, despite everything, she could not bring herself to tell him the truth. Albus paused a moment longer and then excused himself, leaving Minerva alone in front of the fire.
"Gryffindors are brave…" she whispered to herself, but for the first time in her life the sentiment failed her. In the past she had stood up to dark wizards and unruly pupils alike but tonight her courage had vanished.
Why was she finding such a simple thing so hard to do?
She knew that if she broke her half of the bargain she'd made with Severus then he would not hesitate to do the same.
I will tell him tomorrow, she decided. And this time I will not fail.