Summary: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?
BB/N: All right…
Chapter Nine: Christmas
Fred and George traveled around the castle. They were whispering until Percy stopped them. "Just the people I was looking for. I found 37 passage ways, and whatnot. We, as in me and Mr. Filch, need your help."
Fred and George exchanged wild glances. "37? We knew only of four."
"Well, learn some more. I made maps, and I need help checking them all and finding out where they lead." Percy said.
"May we see the map?" Fred asked.
Percy handed them a map. "I've charmed it so when you find one and cross it off, it'll do it to the rest of the maps."
George nodded his head. He took a quill from Percy and started crossing some off. "This one has caved in….This one is in the Huneydukes Cellar…This leads nowhere…and this one is in the Shrieking Shack." George said, crossing some of the places off.
"All right…that narrows those down to 33. How come not the one that is in Huneydukes?"
"Because, Hermione is with them. They would have been back by now." Fred said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh." Percy said. "Okay then."
Fred and George set off in one direction, Percy in the other.
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Emily, Ron, Harry, and Hermione were watching Snape sleep. "Who's going to wake him?" Hermione asked.
"Definitely not me! I had to get him when he was angry." Harry said stubbornly.
"I'm not." Ron said.
"Why?" They all asked.
"Because…I can't tell you." Ron said, nervously.
"The lot of you are wimps." Emily said. She bent over Snape and whispered in his ear, "Severus! Severus!"
Snape's Dream
"Draco! Why do you follow your father, in his exact footsteps?"
"What I and my father do is none of your business, Professor Snape." Draco replied.
"Then I can't let you play on the Quidditch team."
Draco's eye turned red, and he lifted his arms up, and a cape came out of nowhere, billowing in the wind. "You can't do that!" His voice six or seven octaves lower than normal.
Snape backed away, afraid. Then, Draco jumped onto the table, and had a very…seductive female voice. He whispered, "Severus!" His eye turned back to normal, and his hair was billowing in the wind, just like the cape had. "Severus!"
"Err…Draco?"
BB/N: Have you ever watched a movie or something…like…Liar Liar? You know when he's in the office and about to make out with the boss lady? Something like that…next
Draco leapt from the desk and onto Snape. Snape screamed, and covered his eyes.
End of Snape's Dream
Snape woke up, his hands over his eyes…and screaming. He stopped almost immediately afterwards. "Please leave me alone Dra," He moved his hands, "EMILY!"
"Err…you screamed a little. Are you alright?"
He pushed Emily away from his face. "I'm here…right?"
"Do you want me to punch you to make sure?"
"No, no, I'm quite fine. Did you find the presents?"
"No! You didn't put them under the tree. Now everyone go get the presents and put them in the living room." A hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"There was no tree." Ron said.
"Shh. No one knows that." Emily said fiercely.
Ron backed away, and then he ran away and got the presents. "Severus?" Emily whispered.
Snape stiffened. "Please don't do that. What do you need Emy?"
"Did you just forget those few letters?" Emily asked.
"Err…yes…now lets go."
"I didn't ask you my question." She said.
"What Emy?"
"Sevvy, why were screaming?"
"I'll tell you later."
Snape and Emily (Not Emy and Sevvy) walked into the living room. Snape was carrying his presents, and Emily already had hers in the living room. Snape laid his out in the middle of the floor, and Emily pulled her wand. "All right, on the count of three everyone 'Accio' their presents. One! Two! THREE!"
Everyone shouted, "Accio" And whatever was left on the floor was Snape's. He sat there, and said, "These are mine."
"Okay, just to see what everyone got, we will do this one at a time…starting with…..me!" He quickly sat down, and started opening his presents.
They made a semicircle around Ron, and watched open his presents.
Ron opened Emily's present first. It was a maroon T-shirt with pink lettering that said, "Be Yourself". Usually he got maroon from his mum and hated it. But now, he loved maroon, and couldn't wait to put it on. "I love it! I love it! Can I put it on right now?"
Before anyone answered, he put it on over his sweater. "Be yourself, I shall!"
After a moment, he opened his present from Harry. "Oh my god! Oh…dear…an Ultimate Cleaning Kit…for my broomstick! I love it! I'm going to tie it around my neck…when I find string."
Everyone started to laugh, except for Snape…who smiled. Eww…Snape smiling.
Next he opened Snape's present. "A…A gold and silver…chess…set…" He whispered. It looked like Ron was going to cry of joy. "I shall cherish this…like a baby…possibly a bit less than a baby…but…forever I will…cherish this…" He carefully set it down on paper, and stared at it for a moment. "I really like it Professor."
Next he opened Hermione's. "A hat! It's not a bladder. It's a hat! And it matches my shirt! How did you know? How did you know Mione? It has the Chuddley Cannons…on it. I love you…"
Awkward silence. "Hypothetically speaking…I mean I love as a friend…but…I'll stop now…" Ron said, trailing off.
"Who's next?" Emily asked.
Snape smirked. After Ron collected his stuff, and moved from the center of the circle, he pushed into it. "Granger, your turn." He wanted to see what Ron got her. He was nosy.
"Oh…all right. I'll open…Harry's first." She sifted through her presents and found Harry's. It was a book…wrapped in newspaper. "Ohh! 'Time and Again' by Danielle Adams. Oh…it's the sequel. I haven't read the first one."
"Oh really? I thought you read it." Harry said.
"No. I haven't." Hermione said, setting the book aside. "I'll find it! I swear Harry James Potter, I will find it."
She opened Emily's present next. "Ohh! 'Time After Time Again' Book three of the trilogy. How depressing. And this is a muggle series. How will I find it at Hogwarts? I can't let it dust over…I'll find it Emily Whatever you Middle name is Rosmerta!"
"Err…alright." Emily said. Christmas was depressing for Hermione.
She opened Snape's present. "Ahh! Look! Look it! It's ' Time After Time' The prequel to the others! Yes! I'll start reading it right away…except…not right now."
Snape felt lucky, but he wasn't sure if she just picked up his present, or was she waiting to save Ron for last. He was truly wondering why he cared about his students love lives…
Hermione picked up a small rectangular box. On it, it said, "To: Ron, From: Hermione" But then…it was scribbled out, and it said, "To: Hermione, From: Ron" She opened it, and saw a gold locket. On the front it said, "Risk It".
Hermione started to cry. "Oh…Ron…it's…beautiful. I love it. But what does 'Risk It' mean?"
Snape glared at Ron, who was sitting across from him. "Err…someone…told me a story…and that person told me to risk something…important…so…it means…risk your heart. But not to die or…anything…Just risk…err…love."
"Ohh…it must have been someone special." Hermione said.
Ron and Snape exchanged glances. "Sure…it was someone special."
Hermione found a card underneath the locket. "Put a picture inside your heart…and it will come true. Hopefully!"
Hermione smiled, and put the locket on. Then she moved out of the circle, and Harry jumped into her place. Snape was highly interested about what he got, because no one in his life, that he loved dearly other than Ron and Hermione friend type love was there. As in…Ginny wasn't there.
"My turn! My turn!" Harry said, gleefully.
He opened the first present, which was from Hermione. "Wow! It's Hedwig on a hat! It's wicked awesome Hermione. It doesn't look like a wooly- I mean…it's a very nice hat." It was a red hat with out lines of Hedwig on it.
He opened Ron's present next. "Ron! You are a genius. I'll survive at the Dursley's until I move out! Or die of cardiac arrest." It was a very large basket of goodies that refilled whenever it was empty, lasting for three years. Then the basket became a decorative item.
He opened Emily's present next. "Quidditch!" Was all he said. It was a book called, 'EVERYTHING about QUIDDITCH' by Georgian Hemmingwee. "I love it…ever so much. I love it really. A lot."
He carefully put the book aside and opened the last present. Ron and Hermione were a bit apprehensive since Snape hated Harry since July 31, 1980.
Harry looked at the cover and began to laugh. "This sounds highly interesting Professor. I shall read it immediately." It was, 'Quick and humorous ways to Pass Potions' By Severus Snape.
"Emily's next!" Hermione and Ron shouted at the same time.
"Err…me? Are you sure? I mean…you're so eager…I mean…there could be dungbombs." Emily commented.
"Don't worry. He'll still love you if you smell." Hermione said.
Snape glared at Hermione. Emily apparently didn't get it. "Who?"
"No one! No one! Open mine first!" Harry said, shoving his present into Emily's arms.
Emily slowly unwrapped her large present. At first, she stared at it. Then she screamed. "OH MY MERLIN'S ON FIRE! THIS IS AWSOME! AND BACKSTREET BOYS! I LOVE THEM! AND IT RUNS ON MAGIC! I LOVE YOU HARRY POTTER!"
She set it down, and pulled out Ron's small package. She opened it, and nearly threw it. "DEAR MERLIN! CELION DION! I LOVE HER! I LOVE YOU!"
"It's in French though. Couldn't find any English ones." Ron said.
"I speak more than fluent French! I can listen to this…all day long…and speak it!" Emily said.
BB/N: Emily started speaking fluent French. But I don't have enough time to go to a website and find French words. So…Think of French!
It seemed like everyone stopped breathing, because Emily picked up Snape's present. It was bulky and light, and soft.
For some reason, Emily opened Snape's present slowly. Ever so slowly. So slowly that—
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At Hogwarts Ginny was—
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BB/N: Just kidding
So slowly that it took forever.
"Open already!" Hermione said.
"Oh all right." Emily said. She ripped the wrapping paper off, because Snape his time an got wrapping paper, and stared at what was in her hands.
"Sevvy!" She whispered.
"Sevvy?" Harry mouthed to Ron. Ron shrugged his shoulders.
"The blanket is beautiful!"
"Err…Thank you Emy. I made it myself."
"Emy?" Ron mouthed to Harry. Harry shrugged.
"You made it? For me? Thank you."
After six long excruciating seconds Emily ran to her bedroom, changed her sheets, then put the blanket on it. She made her bed.
Then she came back. "It's your turn Sevvy."
Everyone was anxious to see how Snape was going to react. He opened Hermione's present first. It was a plain black hat with silver and green on it. He looked at it a moment, then he thought of the time he saw a houself wearing a bladder looking thing on it's head. She has improved a lot.
"Thank you Gra- Hermione."
"You don't have to wear it out in public if you don't want to." She said quickly.
Snape didn't say anything. He set it aside, and opened the next present. It was from Harry.
"What is this?" He asked, turning the thing over. It was a book, almost exactly like his except it was black with gold lettering. It was called, "How to Stand Your Students" By Harry Potter.
"Thank you Po-"
"You don't have to say my name."
"Potter."
Harry gave a quick nod, then it was awkwardly silent. No one was sure if Harry and Snape would ever get comfortable with each other.
"Ahem. I'll open this one."
He grabbed a cylinder with a hump type shape. He opened it, and was surprised to see it. It was a silver mug. On it was a dark green gothic care bear. It had spiked…fur…and black wristbands with sharp spikes.
"Thank You…Ron." He said, after taking a quick breath.
Emily jumped in the air, and was out the door and they heard her yelling, "I'll get your present. It's downhe—" As her voice drifted away.
Ron snickered. "She's getting you knickers/
While Harry and Hermione held in there snickering, Snape glared at Ron. "I can take my present back."
To his surprise Ron answered back. "No you won't!"
Emily walked back, before Snape could reply. He kept in mind the conversation that he and Ron had about Hermione. That would come in handy.
Emily had a box. It was rather…medium sized, just big enough for a muggle toaster. It was actually a muggle toaster box. "You got me a toaster?" He asked.
"It's inside Sevvy."
Hermione looked at Ron. "She got him knickers."
They giggled silently…almost. Snape took the box and was about to shake it. But Emily stopped him. "Don't! Don't shake it! It's…fragile!"
Snape gently set it in his lap, and opened the top. His eyes grew wide, as he stared down at the box. Everyone surrounded him. "You did get him knickers." Ron said.
Emily gave him a weird look, then turned back to Snape.
He reached inside with both hands, and pulled out a small female calico kitten. She mewed, and everyone went awe, except Snape, who was surprised. He never had a cat before. But he had to admit it was cute.
"Do you like her? Do you? Do you? Do you?" Emily asked continuously until he answered. He nodded his head.
"Everyone! He likes her!" Emily exclaimed.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione clapped and cheered.
"So that was what it was when I was in the store by myself." Snape muttered. He held the kitten in the air, and stared at it in the eye. It reached out and tapped his nose. He had to smile. He felt his heart warm up, and he thought he was either really happy…or he was having a heart attack. They were common in men his age.
"What are you going to name her?" Hermione asked.
"Neko."
"Your naming her…cat?" Emily asked.
"Fine! You know what I will name her such a nice name…you'll be shocked."
Everyone leaned in, afraid he'll name her "Little Whore" or "Little Satan" or, "Lucifer!"
"Penny." Snape replied.
BB/N: Wow! I was shocked…and I typed this.
MO/N: She's just a cute little kitty.