~
The weeks slipped quickly past and soon the end of term approached. December brought even worse weather: by the Saturday of the Hogsmeade trip the rain had turned into thickly falling snow that coated the castle walls and turned the surrounding landscape magically white. Once lunch was over the driveway was filled with students hurrying down to the village, taking care not to slip and wrapping their cloaks tightly around themselves to shield against the bitterly cold weather.
Remus was oblivious to the snow. He'd taken over Minerva's polished mahogany desk, reasoning that since her living room was warmer than his office he would stand more chance of getting some work done. The fact that he'd also been able to watch Minerva undressing for her bath had, he told himself, absolutely nothing to do with it. Nevertheless, he hadn't been able to stop himself from enjoying the view, until eventually she'd shut the door on him firmly, knowing as well as he did that it was the only way he'd get anything finished. Now he was leafing through his completed lesson plans for the spring term, feeling very satisfied with what he'd achieved. He tucked them neatly into a folder, and then found at the bottom of the pile an unfamiliar parchment. For a moment he stared at it in confusion, until he read the title and realised what he was looking at. It was Hermione Granger's werewolf essay.
Remus had thought his relationship with Severus could not deteriorate any further but his return to lessons that Monday afternoon had quickly changed his mind. Remus had no patience for underhand tactics but that was exactly what Snape had used in his absence. As well as doing his best to intimidate and upset the entire class - a class whose interest Remus had worked hard to build - he had also set an essay that deliberately threatened Remus. It had been lucky that Snape had insisted a rather excessive two rolls of parchment. The Gryffindor third years had been horrified and it had been easy for Remus to prevent them doing the work. All that was, except Hermione.
Reading her essay now, Remus couldn't help but be impressed by the amount of effort she'd put into the assignment. All the relevant facts were there. How could she possibly not have guessed? Remus was certain she knew but he was just as sure that Harry did not. He could only assume that Hermione had chosen to keep his secret, and his respect for the young witch increased tenfold. She reminded him so much of Minerva at the same age: there was the same intensity about her, the same dedication to her studies. The same respect for others. The only thing Hermione didn't share was Minerva's shyness and that was probably a good thing. Remus was glad that she was Harry's friend.
Deciding a break was in order, he conjured up a mug of warm butterbeer and strolled over to Minerva's somewhat threadbare but extremely comfortable sofa. He hoped Harry was feeling at least a little better now. His injury and the loss of his broom after last month's Quidditch game had clearly demoralised the boy but unsurprisingly it was the Dementors that bothered him the most. Remus had seen for himself the effect that the Dementors had had on Harry but it wasn't until Harry told him what he'd heard in his head that Remus truly understood the anguish that the boy was suffering. To know that your parents had been brutally murdered was bad enough: to hear their tragic deaths over and over in your mind must be a living nightmare. Remus wasn't certain that Harry would be able to master the Patronus spell but knowing what he knew now it had to be worth a try.
The bathroom door opened and Minerva emerged wearing only her tartan dressing gown.
"About time!" Remus teased.
Minerva had yet to master the art of a quick bath, insisting as she did on a favourite novel, a glass of wine and at least an hour to relax. Now her cheeks were flushed from the heat and the alcohol and her hair fell loose over her shoulders, the way Remus liked it best. She smiled at him and he felt a sudden surge of arousal swirl through his veins.
"Have you finished your lesson plans?" she asked, ignoring his previous remark.
Remus gestured to her desk.
"All ready," he said, knowing she would go and check. As she passed him he wrapped an arm around her waist and she gasped in surprise as she found herself falling into his lap.
"You smell nice," he murmured approvingly, pulling her even closer and gently nuzzling her neck. She'd poured something deliciously scented into her bath and the fragrance had filled the room; now it lingered still on her skin. Remus inhaled deeply, wondering for the hundredth time what he'd done to deserve the love of a woman like her. He planted tender kisses down her neck, loosening the belt of her robe and pushing the cloth down off her shoulders.
"Remus, I have to go…" she protested weakly, but she did not push him away. He ran his hand down the side of her body to gently caress her breast and she moaned softly.
"Remus…" Minerva whispered again, and there was such desire in her voice that he wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop or to continue. Then she sighed and relaxed against him, lifting his head with her hands so that she could kiss him properly, sliding her tongue against his lips until he parted them at last. She took the lead as they fell back onto the sofa, straddling his hips and gently rocking her pelvis, her breathing growing heavier by the minute. Soon Remus could take no more of her teasing and he quickly removed his shirt and then the remainder of his clothing. Her dressing gown joined the pile of his clothing on the floor, then suddenly sensation overwhelmed him and he could think no more.
No sooner was their passion spent than Minerva disentangled herself from him and went to get dressed. Remus protested loudly but to no avail: once more the door was closed in his face. It was another fifteen minutes before Minerva reappeared and this time she was fully clothed in thick winter robes, her hair restored to its customary bun.
"Don't go." Remus grinned in what he hoped was an appealing way.
"I have to. Cornelius will be waiting for me. But you can come with us if you like."
He watched her retrieve her hat and cloak from where they hung. As much as he would miss her, Remus was unwilling to brave the cold weather just to listen to Cornelius Fudge blather on about the Ministry. He'd had enough of that when he'd been working in London.
"No, I'll see you later."
"If you're sure."
She gave him one last kiss and then reluctantly turned and left. Remus knew she had still not told Dumbledore the truth about their relationship. He couldn't understand why not: Minerva had always had a close friendship with Albus, the older man being something of a mentor to her throughout her career. She often spoke of the help and support he had given her – why couldn't she confide in him now? After all, it wasn't as if they were doing anything wrong. But then Remus remembered the secret he was keeping from both Minerva and Albus: his knowledge of Sirius Black's animagus ability. He hadn't told either of them because he was ashamed of how he had abused their trust in his schooldays and because he valued Albus' trust and Minerva's love and didn't want to risk losing them. Even though he knew that the right thing to do was tell the truth, it was a difficult decision to face. After the attack on Gryffindor Tower he had wrestled with his conscience for most of the week but then Minerva had reassured him with her talk about dark magic. Surely she was right – if being an animagus was all it took to escape Azkaban wouldn't others have broken out before now? Sirius, James and Peter could not have been the only unregistered animagi by any stretch of the imagination. He'd resolved to stop brooding on it and had turned his attention to Minerva instead. Now that she was no longer here to distract him, Remus swallowed the remainder of his butterbeer then went to have a wash and change for dinner.
An hour later - after a quick bath and a trip to the owlery to order a Bundimun for one of his classes – Remus entered the Great Hall. Despite his early arrival and the fact that many of the students had not yet returned from the village, the hall was busier than he had expected. As well as first and second years, a fair number of the older students were present, obviously having decided that it was not worth braving the weather just to go to Hogsmeade. In contrast the staff table was almost empty since most of the senior staff were dining privately with Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge. Only Severus Snape remained. He hated doing dinner duty and was eyeing the hall like a wrathful eagle, ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble. Consequently the atmosphere was somewhat subdued. Nobody wanted to catch the attention of the bad tempered potions master and Remus could easily understand why. Unwilling to join Severus, he hesitated for a moment in the doorway and then noticed his first year Gryffindors waving enthusiastically for him to sit with them. Deciding this would be vastly preferable he did so, and entertained them throughout their meal with tales of runespoors, quintapeds and other enthralling creatures he'd seen and worked with – causing a few of the more weak-stomached students to retreat to the other end of the table by the time he'd finished. All the while he was aware of Severus' dark stare boring into his back. He knew that the potions master would be enraged that Remus had chosen the company of the students rather than sit with him but he didn't care.
Remus finished his meal and lingered in the Great Hall for a while before making his way up to the library to peruse the most recent wizarding journals. In his previous – but extremely poorly paid - job at the Ministry of Magic he had been at the forefront of magical research and he still enjoyed keeping up with the latest developments. He found a comfortable armchair and gathered copies of the J.I.M.R. (Journal of the Institute for Magical Research), Enervate, Transfiguration Today and Modern Wizarding. Remus immersed himself in his reading and didn't notice the hours slipping rapidly past until Madam Pince tapped him politely on the shoulder to say the library was closing and unless Remus wanted to spend the night could he please leave now.
Upstairs he found Minerva who looked rather relieved to see him.
"Did you have a nice afternoon?" he asked.
"Not really."
A shadow crossed her face and she turned away abruptly to stare at the photographs on her mantelpiece. For a moment it seemed as if she was ignoring him but Remus remained silent, waiting for her to tell him what was bothering her.
"Fudge was only interested in talking about Black," she said eventually. "And then Rosmerta wanted to know the whole story. It made me remember Peter. The poor boy - he didn't stand a chance against Black but he wouldn't give up."
She turned back to face Remus and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. For a moment he was shocked: he'd never seen Minerva cry before. Normally she maintained a strong, confident exterior without even the slightest hint of weakness. Quickly he shepherded her over to an armchair and sat her down, glad that she felt able to share her worries with him.
"It wasn't your fault," he said softly, placing one arm around her shoulders for reassurance.
"No, but I was never very kind to him at school. I took ten points off him once just because he was late for dinner."
"You were Head Girl. It was your job to make sure everyone behaved themselves."
"I know," she said, not sounding entirely convinced.
She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. Remus watched her smile weakly at him and wished there was more he could do to reassure her. He leant forward to wipe away the tears from her cheeks and then softly kissed her forehead, lifting her glasses from her face and placing them carefully to one side. It didn't look right to him to see her like this: the scraped back hair and spectacles belonged to the strict, sensible Transfiguration Professor that the rest of the school knew: not the caring and passionate lover he adored with all his heart. With his hands he reached out to tease her hair from it's tight bun and Minerva closed her eyes as he removed the last few pins, leaving her hair to cascade down over her shoulders like a glossy black waterfall. Then she reached out for him, resting her head on his shoulder as he embraced her protectively. For a while they stayed like that, both enjoying the comfort it brought them and neither willing to break apart. Remus listened to her soft breathing, knowing that the past would continue to haunt them until Sirius Black was safely back in Azkaban. He hoped it would be sooner rather than later.
"Thank you for understanding," she said at length.
Remus smiled in response and started to unbutton the high neck of her robes.
"Come on, let's go to bed."
He leaned forward to kiss her, determined not to let her regrets and his worries about Sirius come between them. But before their lips could meet, Minerva placed her hands gently on his chest.
"Not that I'm complaining, Remus, but you're very affectionate all of a sudden. Has Severus perhaps slipped a love potion into your butterbeer?"
"Hardly," Remus snorted, and then caught the twinkle in her eye and realised she was teasing. "I just…"
"What?" The smile vanished from her face at the serious tone in his voice and she studied him intently, obviously nervous of what he was about to say.
"Minerva…" He took a deep breath. "I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me but it has and I'm so glad because… well, being with you has changed my whole life. I never knew why people talked so much about how love can change everything - I thought they were just idiots who didn't understand how much pain and suffering there is in the world. But you understand and you're still…"
He stopped, lost for words. He could see Minerva's eyes glistening once more with unshed tears and he hoped that this time it was not sorrow and regret, but rather happiness that had made her cry.
Seeing his hesitation she leant forward and took his hands in hers.
"Go on," she said gently.
Remus swallowed, realising at last what it was he wanted to say.
"Minerva… I love you. I love you so much-"
The emotion overwhelmed him as his voice cracked and she silenced him with a kiss, furious and passionate until he was gasping for breath. She buried her face in his neck and he could feel her tears damp against his skin.
"What's wrong?" Sudden concern was evident in his voice.
"Nothing," Minerva said firmly, and leaning close she whispered in his ear: "I love you too."
Happiness welled up in Remus' heart. With one arm around her shoulders and the other beneath her knees he scooped her easily into his arms and carried her towards her bedroom, determined to show her exactly how strongly he felt. Tomorrow they would go and see Albus together and tell him everything, and Remus would at last be free of his guilt. Tomorrow…
* * * * *
The knock at the door was sharp and abrupt. Remus was half asleep - his previous exertions having worn him out completely - and he felt a sudden coldness by his side as Minerva got up and pulled on her dressing gown. Who on earth was it? Minerva was rarely disturbed outside of working hours especially on a weekend: her dedication to her job and her willingness to support her colleagues meant that they respected her desire for peace and quiet and only called on her if absolutely necessary. From Gryffindor House above them there was only silence. Had someone been caught out of bed? That must be it. Remus sleepily pulled the quilt more closely around himself and rolled over, determined to ignore the voices from the living room and get some sleep.
"Severus, please. It's late."
"Actually it's only nine o'clock. Obviously dear Remus has exhausted you so much that you can no longer tell the time. Or the truth."
"I haven't had a chance to-"
"Oh, don't make excuses Minerva. You've had nearly a month. You obviously have a problem with keeping your promises."
"Fine. Tomorrow I'll-"
"No! No 'tomorrow'. You'll come with me now."
"Severus-"
"Now!"
The sudden yell stirred Remus from his stupor at last. Realising whom their unexpected visitor was he leapt of bed, pausing only to grab his discarded boxer shorts from the floor.
"Leave her alone," he shouted.
Severus spun round and stared at him, raising an eyebrow as he took in Remus' dishevelled and half naked appearance. A nasty smirk played at the corners of his thin mouth.
"Ah, your knight in shining armour has arrived, my dear," he drawled. Turning back to face Minerva he continued: "A pity, though, that he could not find his shining armour. Or indeed anything other than his underpants."
"Why don't you just leave us alone?" Remus demanded angrily.
"Now, now. What kind of welcome is that?" Severus tutted in mock disapproval. "Particularly after I kindly gave up my precious time to cover your class for you when you were… what is it you say? Ah, yes: 'unwell'." He leaned closer to Remus, obviously determined to intimidate him as much as he possibly could.
"I don't want you near any of my classes ever again!" Remus shouted, utterly enraged by his colleague's behaviour. He must have known they'd be in bed – why else would he bother them so late in the day? To think he'd interrupted them as they made love would be the icing on the cake for Snape. He hadn't – but how was he to know that?
"Scared they'll learn the truth, Lupin?" Severus snarled angrily, the twisted smile having now vanished. "I would have thought you were far too busy playing around with your girlfriend to care about such trivial things as that."
It was too much for Remus. Blinded by his rage he raised his fist, oblivious to Minerva screaming at him to stop. One swift punch was all it took: Severus staggered backwards, his hands on his face. Rivulets of blood trickled slowly between his fingers. He'd been standing so close to Remus that he'd had no chance to duck out of the way. Consequently he'd caught the full force of the blow.
"You'll pay for this, Lupin!" he spat furiously, turning to leave.
Only then did Remus catch sight of the open doorway and the figure standing beyond, only then did he notice that Minerva had suddenly fallen silent and only then did he understand the reason why. Severus, too, had realised and all three stood frozen like a bizarre tableau.
Albus Dumbledore was watching them. And this time there was no twinkle in his eyes.