A/N I know that this is my second story in which everybody is OOC and is a really random story. I'm sorry if you like these characters and I know I'm going to get a lot of flamers for this story but what the heck! I doubt that anyone's reading this story anyway:-P Oh well...You asked for it...

DA STORY

One day, Frodo went to town and ate a very tasty tasty hamby. Suddenly, his scar started hurting! The possibilities were that A) Voldemort was either near him or B) Snape was having an affair with Hermione Granger!

Later on, he decided to say "moo" while dancing to "Toxic." He then grabbed an apple pie and went off to find the muffin man so he could splat it in his face. Finally, he remembered his friend Hermione and decided to visit her and say, "num num num num Potato!" But when he got there, his suspicions were confirmed: Snape was having an affair with Miss Granger! 'Well,' Frodo thought to himself. 'I suppose that this is a good way of killing off Ron since he had a huge crush on Hermione.' He, on the other hand, was really jealous, for he had a big crush on Snape! Frodo thought Snape was SMOKIN' HOT!

Just then, he realized his horrible mistake! Snape didn't look very "hot" anymore, so his affections turned into something like melting cheese; his new lover was now the prance- in pants, Legolas!

So he went to Legolas's house to propose and present his rubber ducky collection and an diamond engagement ring! He had gotten a special offer on the ring…it was made out of cheese! But when he got there, he was sad once again when he found Legolas making out with Gollum!

Out of frustration, Frodo pulled out the cheese ring and ate it with nachos! He got bits of diamond stuck in his teeth, which he decided to save for an emergency. Then, out of the blue, he smelt something burning... "Oh no!" Frodo gasped out in realization. "My cookies!"

Frodo ran as fast as he could back to his house so that he could save his scrumptious cookies! But sadly, he found them burnt to bits.

So, he gave up baking and decided to join the cheerleaders! They said he was REALLY GOOD but his legs were WAY TOO HAIRY!

'What now?' the annoyed Hobbit thought. He wondered for a lone time, and then- "I know! Frodo said out-loud. "I can go make out with Gandalf instead!" So he sauntered away with cherry-flavored lip-gloss on.

Again, when he arrived, he howled in frustration. Gandalf had already found his true love...The Mayor of Townsville! With this gross thought in his mind about what he saw, he went to look for Shrek. Sadly, Shrek too, was occupied. So he went through blistering deserts and cold mountaintops and he finally decided NOT to be gay. His true love was surely Fiona. He climbed the highest tower in the dragon guarded castle and what did he find? Some gender- confused warthog named Pumba, and a furry thing named Timon?

He sighed and then winked at Pumba and thought, 'Maybe being gay isn't that bad after all!'

A/N Hello! I know what you're thinking. 'Who the heck would write such a stupid story on fanfic!' I know, I share your thoughts. But if you would like to review, then you may and flamers are acceptable!