Joey walked out of the station a lighter woman. Charges pressed, complaints filed, suspicions planted.
If she was going to ruin a life, again, she was going to do it all the way. She told them about the single backhand to the face, the constant berating, and the stash of pot she had found hidden under his side of the mattress. She also mentioned, offhand, that she may have, possibly, run over his foot on the way to the police station.
Her statement was taken, and she was told it would be taken care of. If they needed her again, they had Bessie's number in Capeside.
She was going home.
Or what home used to be. There was always a place for her there, always a bed, and always four walls to call her own if she happened to need them.
It had been so long since she had last admitted that she needed them. So long since she had passed through those doors, and felt the love that encompassed those rooms. She could always feel her mother there, even though so much had been changed since she'd been alive. Her father's presence she knew she could do without, but knew that somehow, if she didn't feel him there, it wouldn't be the same.
Some of the greatest moments of her life had played out in that space. Defining, life changing moments.
But she had let them become simple memories when she started her life with Pacey. She gave herself over to creating new, defining, life changing moments with the man she had loved since childhood. There had been other men, other half-loves, but in the end, it always came down to the knowledge that Pacey knew what she needed. He knew what she wanted. He knew her inside and out, and that was something she was no longer willing to live without.
Even in the nineteen months that had passed since she last saw him, she knew that he hadn't stopped knowing every part of her. She hadn't changed in even the smallest way. Her hair still fell past her shoulders, the same length it had always been. Her eyes were still the chocolate-brown color that had held him captive for so many years of his life.
When life becomes stagnant, you stop moving as well. Matthew had pushed her back emotionally, but her dreams, her goals, her wishes...
They were all still bottled up deep within her, waiting for the day that Pacey would save her from the darkness that she's shrouded her life in.
The future taunted her from the horizon as she thought of the things she'd left behind. If she looked hard enough, the deep blue of the sky seemed to be reflecting from his eyes, thousands of miles away. If she looked hard enough, she could see the life that she had yet to live.
If she looked hard enough, she could see him.
It was time to look.
----
He knew she was home. No one had to tell him. He could feel it in the way Bodie looked at him when he didn't think Pacey would notice. He could hear it in Alex's voice when he started visiting again. He could see it on Lily's face as she stood next to her best friend, wishing that she could just tell him.
He knew that when the phone rang, and there was no one there, it was her. He knew that when the hair stood up on the back of his neck as he was drifting off to sleep, she was thinking about him. He knew that when the birds stopped calling in the trees for just a moment, she had lost her courage to come to him, again.
He knew. He always knew. It's the way it had always been them. He didn't have to look up when she entered a room to see if it was her. He could tell by the way her scent drifted over him, and her presence overcame him.
He stepped out on to his porch and settled on the step. He could see the swing moving back and forth in the slight breeze from the corner of his eye, but he wouldn't let it get to him. The memories that that single mess of wood brought to him were more than he could handle at this moment.
He let his mind wander, consciously making an effort to keep his thoughts off of his ex-wife.
His mind was never one to listen to him.
He thought about how a single kiss from her was all he ever needed to keep him going through the day. He remembered how her hair would fall down around them as they were making love, becoming a curtain, shielding them from the outside world.
It never took more than a look from her for him to know that she was head over heels in love with him. But hearing it...hearing those three words pass her lips was like visiting heaven.
Suddenly, she was there, invading every part of his mind, filling his space, taking over his sanity. Her voice rang in his ears; her touch slid across his skin, her taste caressed his tongue. Tears burned his eyes, and he knew – he knew this wouldn't end until he'd seen her. It wouldn't stop until he'd had his say.
He rubbed at a patch of weeds that were growing up through the bricks that made up the pathway to the porch from the sidewalk. He'd have to get back outside and work on the lawn soon. Life went on all around him, even though he wished, sometimes fervently so, for his days to come to an end.
He knew it was stupid, pathetic even, to let his world revolve on one axis alone. But Joey had become his axis so long ago...
It was impossible to even think now that this could be changed. She had been, and always would be the reason that he took each breath.
A love like theirs was dangerous. It was all consuming, selfish, and full of terrifying mistakes. One wrong turn, and everything could come crashing down.
He looked up at the sky, a dusky purple-pink color now, as the sun set. In that moment, he finally accepted that his life had crashed.
There was only one person who could help him repair the wreckage.
And she was home.
----
Days passed by slower on the cape. The wind was saltier, the sun seemed further away, and the water was always colder.
Joey spent her hours reorganizing the books at the B&B. Bessie hadn't done a horrible job with them, but she had to work on something while she was there. Even though she was with family, she felt obligated to pitch in, to lend a hand. She needed to feel as though she wasn't a burden on her sister.
There was only one other place in the world that she'd rather be, and after four months in Capeside, she had yet to build up the strength to finish the drive over there. Every time she started, she got a little bit further. Once, she drove past the house, but broke down at the sight of it.
It was as though nothing had changed, save for one thing. She tried to pretend that she was only coming home from work and Pacey would be in the living room, watching some game or another, and life would go on as it always had. But she knew it wasn't like it used to be, because there were no flowers. The flowers had been hers, her mark on the house, her signature.
But they were gone now.
The swing was still white, and the shutters were still a wind-faded gray. The trees were taller, and the bushes were fuller, and the flowers were gone.
She had forced herself to accept this. She had left him. Packed up her belongings, moved across the country, and served him with divorce papers.
If the flowers were gone, it was her fault. She hadn't been there to plant them.
She was sitting at the edge of the dock now, watching Lily and Alex swim. It seemed almost wrong to her, that there hadn't been another Witter for them to include in their small world. She rubbed her hand across her abdomen, and felt a small ache start in her chest. At this very moment, she could have been sitting in a rocking chair, nursing her first child. A child made from the best parts of Pacey and herself. She could have created a small miracle with Pacey.
Could have.
But like the flowers, there was no child. There wasn't even the possibility of a child, because she wasn't with Pacey.
She felt the tears form, and tried in vain to keep them from falling. She heard footsteps behind her, and quickly wiped away the evidence of her pain.
Bessie watched as Joey set her shoulders and took a deep breath. She hurt for her little sister, and prayed every night that she would find the strength to heal her heart. It was like watching an infant learn to walk. You long to reach out to them and guide them along, but know deep in your heart that the missteps and falls will help them learn faster than any kind of direction.
"Go on inside, Jo. I'll keep an eye on them."
Joey walked past her sister without a word. She was afraid if she opened her mouth, tears might fall, and she might never find the strength to stop crying.
She went in the back door, and instead of turning to go to her bedroom, she followed the hall out to the front door, to where her keys hung on a hook next to the coat closet.
The sun was just beginning to set as she climbed into her car, and started the engine. It would be twilight when she got to the house; the first stars starting to shine.
For just a second, she felt contentment, as though she could feel his need for her just as strong as her own for him.
It was that which compelled her to put the car in gear.
And it was that which gave her the strength to stop the car in his driveway.
----
He had just stepped out on the porch with a screwdriver when she pulled up in his driveway. He looked down at the tool in his hand, and decided that life did work in mysterious ways.
Not even a minute before, he had thought to himself, 'If she doesn't show up before I take down this porch swing, it was never meant to be.'
And here she was.