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Chapter Ten: Everything ChangesThe hospital wing slumbered peacefully through the early hours of the morning, it's only occupant sleeping soundly. Not even the moonlight could penetrate the heavy drapes that covered the high windows, and darkness filled the ward like a velvet blanket, calm and comforting.
It was rare that the ward was this empty though. In any facility where magic is taught to the young, accidents occur with a sometimes worrying frequency. Last week alone Poppy Pomfrey had been faced with a sixth year boy who'd managed to splice himself with a pot plant, two broomstick crashes and a whole class of Hufflepuffs who'd inadvertently exploded a cauldron full of shrinking solution. Add in visitors and concerned staff and sometimes it was as noisy and bustling up here as in one of the house common rooms, much to Poppy's dismay. The school nurse was a firm believer in the value of a good night's sleep and it was for this reason that her most recent patient was still on the ward.
It was still pitch dark when Minerva McGonagall finally awoke and she lay with her eyes closed for a while, relishing the warmth of the snug feather bedspread that safely insulated her from the pre-dawn chill. She hadn't slept this well in ages, and certainly not during term time. Even if she wasn't rudely awakened to deal with some misdemeanour or midnight crisis, her head would still be filled with thoughts of duty schedules, lesson preparation and paperwork. If she remembered anything she hadn't done she'd have to get up and scribble a quick note in the spare diary she kept on her desk. It was a habit that drove Remus crazy. In much the same way, his nighttime habit of throwing his handkerchief on the floor to remind him of an important task had a similar effect on her. It was something they often teased each other about.
Where was Remus, anyway? She'd swiftly become used to waking beside him and was no longer startled to find an arm slung across her middle or an extra pair of feet resting firmly against her own. When he wasn't there, when the full moon kept them apart… then it felt curiously strange to have the bed to herself. But full moon was another two weeks away, wasn't it?
Even as she came further awake she still could not solve the puzzle. Remus wasn't here but she couldn't remember why not. All she could recall was that something had changed, something to do with her. Something had happened that had changed her whole life forever.
But what?
She swung her feet over the side of the bed and then winced in shock as they landed on cold tile instead of the soft carpet she'd been expecting.
And then she remembered.
* * * * *
Remus was asleep when she crept quietly back into their bedroom. He lay sprawled on top of the bedspread still fully clothed, and she felt a wave of affection at the sight of his weary face. I can't even leave you for a day, she thought fondly. She wanted to wake him, to feel his arms around her and hear him tell her he loved her. To share one last moment of blissful ignorance before she shared with him the truth that would turn their lives upside down forever. But she knew he'd been worrying about her. He needed his rest. And she had more important things to think about.
She closed the bathroom door as quietly as she could before turning on the bath taps. Normally she'd add a liberal splash of scented oil and fetch a book or journal to read while she bathed. If she was feeling particularly indulgent she'd have a glass or two of wine, or some of Cynthia Sprout's home brewed fruit liqueur. Albus had denied all knowledge of the still tucked away in the back of Greenhouse Six but Minerva was not fooled. The Headmaster's sweet tooth was legendary: as long as Cynthia's extracurricular activities went unnoticed by the students and the Ministry he would be more than happy to turn a blind eye. And Cynthia was highly skilled. Rumour had it that she was currently in negotiations with Rosmerta to supply the Three Broomsticks.
Not that Minerva would be enjoying any of it for the time being.
When the tub was finally full she slipped off her dressing gown and borrowed nightdress and slid gently into the water, feeling its warmth caress her skin. It was such a familiar sensation and normally a relaxing one as well. Only now it felt new, like she'd never experienced it before. Different. Like she was.
So…
Pregnant.
She hadn't been expecting that, not for a moment. When she'd thought about it all the signs had been there: the tiredness, the mood swings and the odd tastes. It had been obvious to Poppy immediately, too. She'd tried to be as tactful as possible but Minerva had been left with the distinct impression that the older woman was secretly delighted at the news.
And she hadn't believed it herself…
It was simply too unthinkable. Professor McGonagall pregnant? Ridiculous. The Deputy Headmistress who dished out homework and detentions daily a mother? Absurd. The tough, trusted Head of Gryffindor House with a child of her own? Impossible.
But apparently it wasn't.
She thought about it for a while, trying to imagine what it would be like to hold a baby that was her own. To spend her evenings singing nursery rhymes and changing nappies. To bathe and dress her daughter each morning and tuck her up to sleep each night.
As hard as she tried, though, the images wouldn't come. It was just too far from what she was used to.
Last week everything had seemed to be settling down. Though the uncertainty posed by Sirius Black still hovered ominously in the distance, the reality of no longer being alone had occupied far greater importance in her mind. They'd weathered the storm of Severus' distrust and overcome their own uncertainties about each other. She'd learnt to trust him, to be comfortable with him. Remus was happy in his new role: he'd have no reason to leave. He was being paid well to do a job that he enjoyed and the effects of the Wolfsbane Potion combined with wholesome meals were making him look healthier by the day. Possibilities stretched out in front of Minerva: possibilities of working here and living here together for years to come.
Now she was cursing her own naivety. She'd forgotten her potion, or the potion hadn't worked, or something and now there were unavoidable consequences.
She shifted slightly and the warm water rippled gently over her stomach. Was it her imagination or had it already grown a little rounder? A little softer? Tentatively she placed her hand over it and tried to picture the life that lay within. A baby. Her baby. Her daughter. Their daughter. She ran the words through her head in countless combinations, trying to make them seem real.
When you were pregnant you could feel the baby move, couldn't you? How long before that happened? She would have to ask Poppy. Maybe there was a book she could read...
She sighed.
It was no use getting sentimental about it. Remus was going to be horrified when he found out. Albus probably would be too though she doubted he'd let it show. Severus… ha! Severus would be delighted and he'd probably make sure the rest of the faculty knew as well. And Severus had a nasty knack for learning things you didn't want him to know.
The question was, what were they going to do? Remus had never so much as mentioned ever having children. Minerva knew he loved his new job but teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts to reasonably well-behaved students was a far cry from changing nappies and being woken in the night by a screaming baby. And then there was his lycanthropy to consider. It didn't have to be a problem but she knew he was sensitive about it. He wouldn't want a baby, not when there was a risk that he could turn his own child into a werewolf – however small that risk might be.
Would he leave her? He wouldn't. At least she didn't think so. But she could manage on her own if he did. She'd have to give up her job but she had savings and Albus wouldn't let her starve. She'd survive somehow…
But probably he wouldn't leave. He'd just grow more and more distant until she'd wish that he had left.
The tears welled up before she could stop them and she sobbed desperately into the bathwater for a few moments before the more rational side of her subconscious overcame the influence of the pregnancy hormones and she calmed down. There was no sense in getting upset. She couldn't change what had happened and she certainly couldn't afford to indulge her emotions now. She had to start making plans. And most importantly she had to tell Remus.
Get it over with, she told herself firmly. Go and wake him up and tell him now. That's the very least you owe him.
Still, it was easier said than done. She took a deep breath and carefully got to her feet, fingers groping blindly along the edge of the tub in search of her towel.
There was no sign of it.
She heard a soft cough behind her and when she looked round, Remus was standing just inside the doorway holding her clean towel and looking absolutely distraught.
For a moment they both stood frozen. The sight of Minerva naked and dripping wet did not appear to have had its usual effect on Remus. Instead he stared sadly at her, reminding her so much of a lost first year she'd first clapped eyes on a lifetime ago.
For a moment her heart broke, and then the cold hit her and she shivered violently.
"Remus, I-"
"I know," he interrupted tersely. "Poppy told me."
He met her with the towel as she stepped out of the tub.
"I know this-"
"You probably don't-"
"Go on," they both said simultaneously.
"I-"
But words that were normally within easy grasp had now deserted her. Remus started to dry her, rubbing the towel gently over her shoulders and then each arm in turn. All of his attention was focused on his task and he frowned in concentration, taking care of her breasts and back in turn. The towel dropped lower and she shivered once more as the cold air hit her skin but waited patiently. He'd speak when he was ready. And as long as he didn't, well, at least he wasn't telling her the things she didn't want to hear.
Remus reached her stomach and abruptly stopped. Slowly he crouched down.
Minerva closed her eyes and waited for him to get to his feet and walk away.
She was starting to feel off balance again, dizzy like before only not like before. Different, because she was different, because everything was different.
She felt the soft press of his lips against her skin and gasped.
"Minerva?"
"What?"
She opened her eyes and looked down at him, still with the towel in his hands and his head nuzzled against her belly. He returned her gaze, his lips moving slightly as he tried to find the words he needed.
Here we are, she thought. Two educated, intelligent adults who have been sharing a bed and our lives for months now and we can't even find the words to tell each other how we really feel. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Both of us afraid of each other?
Not if I can do anything about it, she decided.
"What?" she repeated a little more firmly.
Still he gaped at her.
There was only one thing for it. She took a deep breath and turned the full force of one of her infamous icy glares on him.
"For goodness sake, Remus Lupin! Kindly stop impersonating a goldfish and tell me honestly what it is that you want or I'll-"
"Honestly?"
Minerva nodded resolutely and folded her arms.
"I want to be a father," Remus said hoarsely. "Minerva, I know we need to talk about this properly but please, please don't do anything you might regret."
"I don't know what to do," she said sadly.
Was this really what he wanted? Could he make such a huge decision just like that? It felt like forever since that stormy evening in October but the reality was that they'd only known each other – really known each other – for just a few short months. Was that long enough? How could she be sure? Suddenly it wasn't just their own lives they were making decisions about. It frightened her to have this responsibility. This knowledge that whatever decision they made, whatever they chose to do, the consequences would be hers to bear for the rest of her life.
How could she have never thought about this before?
How could something so small have such an incredible bearing on her life?
She needed to think, needed space, needed time, needed something. She turned abruptly away from Remus and took the last few steps into her bedroom. He'd already lit the fire and she was grateful for its radiating heat and the warm glow it brought to the room. Within these four walls was everything she'd strived for, everything she needed. Remus had made her life complete. She didn't need this. She was enough without it. They were enough. They were happy, for goodness sake.
"Minerva?"
Remus was standing patiently where she'd left him, still holding her towel. Waiting for her.
"How can you be sure?" she burst out, running her hands through her damp hair in exasperation. "How can you know? What if everything changes? What are you going to do then?"
"Everything will change," he said with infuriating calm. "And I love you. Those are the only things I'm sure of."
He folded the towel neatly into four and hung it back on the rail in the bathroom, then took her tartan dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door and brought it through the bedroom for her. She took it reluctantly and he sat down and observed her solemnly from his side of the bed.
"All I ever wanted was a family of my own. James said that the first time he saw Harry was the most incredible day of his life. He said that until you're a parent you can't know what it's like to hold your own child and know that you'd go to ends of the earth and back again for them. I wanted so badly to know what that was like. I didn't think I ever would, but I never stopped thinking about it. Until…"
He trailed off.
Minerva's curiosity couldn't stand the suspense.
"What?" she asked softly.
"Until I found you. Minerva, you make me feel normal. You make me feel better than normal. I don't know why, or what it was I did that made me deserve you but… if you only knew how I felt you'd know that I am sure. You're giving me everything I ever wanted. I'd marry you tomorrow if I thought that was what you wanted and I'd never, ever regret it."
"What if it's not that easy?"
She could feel the tears filling her eyes again. She hated herself for being weak and wished she could match his calm.
"Come here."
Reluctantly she went to the bed. He gestured for her to sit and drew her into his arms, rubbing his hands soothingly over her shoulders.
"Nothing in my life has been easy. And… I know I'm not perfect. Well, not even close to perfect. I know I'm probably not the kind of man you dreamed you'd end up spending your life with. Hell, I can't even afford to buy you a ring-"
"I don't want a ring."
"Then what...?"
"All I want is you."
"Is that a yes?"
She wanted to say it, wanted to tell him that yes, she'd marry him. She wanted to believe what he was saying: that everything was fine and that this was a good thing, this was what they wanted.
But still it seemed too good to be true.
She took a deep breath.
"I don't know. This has all happened so fast. I just… need time to think. To adjust."
She could tell he was disappointed.
"I'm not saying no," she added hastily.
Remus said nothing but continued to stroke her back. His presence soothed her frayed nerves considerably; his calm demeanour inferred a matching stillness in her own. Settled in his arms with her head on his chest she could hear his heart beating and she wondered what on earth it was that had made her feel so afraid.
He lifted one hand to the nape of her neck and gently teased at her hair, separating the damp strands with his fingers.
"In nine months we're going to be here together. You'll be hot and tired and sore but you won't care because I'll be right here beside you and Poppy will be passing you our baby. Our child, Minerva. We'll hold him together and see who he looks like most and we'll have the rest of our lives to get to know him and love him.
"Her," Minerva said without thinking.
"What?"
"It's a girl. Poppy told me this morning."
"A girl," he echoed thoughtfully. "We're having a girl."
"But…"
Remus laughed good-naturedly.
"There's always a 'but' with you! But what?"
She hesitated for a moment before blurting it out.
"What if I'm no good at being a mother?"
"You'll be a wonderful mother," he said with absolute conviction. "I'm sure of it. Look at how you take care of me. How you care about your students. This little girl is going to have two parents who adore her and who would do anything to protect her and look after her. That's as much as any child could want."
Parents, she thought. We're going to be parents. And one day we'll be buying our daughter her Hogwarts books and robes and she'll be a student here just like we were.
"I can't believe this is real," she whispered. "How can it be real? How can I suddenly have everything I gave up dreaming about in no time at all?"
"Don't you think I've been asking myself that every day for the last three months?" Remus said softly. "It's real, Minerva. It's real because we love each other. Because we've found each other."
He embraced her tightly, burying his face in her still-damp hair. Minerva had always thought of herself as strong but now it was his faith that was sustaining her and encouraging her to believe in herself. The uncertainty she was feeling now seemed so alien, and it was precisely that strangeness that unsettled her so much. Unlike Remus, she'd had only one job since leaving school, a job that was secure, well paid and comfortable. She'd always had good food and a roof over her head. She'd always done well. Dumbledore had taken her under his wing from the start, encouraging her through the first few nerve-wracking years as she'd struggled to find her feet. Slowly her confidence had grown. She'd learnt how to command the classroom and the respect of her students. Her natural talent for teaching and her desire to nurture and encourage her students had later led to her appointment first as Head of Gryffindor, then as Deputy Headmistress. Life at Hogwarts was built around structure and routine, from the arrival of new students in September to the exams in June: each term as reliable as the four seasons and bringing only the expected.
Now she felt as if she'd just witnessed a snowstorm in the middle of July.
But she wasn't alone.
"Remus?"
"What?"
She twisted in his embrace until she could claim his lips with hers.
"You are perfect to me."
Remus grinned.
"Stay there," he instructed.
"Where are you going?"
"To get the massage oil I bought you yesterday."
"Have we got time? I mean, breakfast-"
"It'll be another two hours before the house elves even start laying the tables," Remus pointed out. "Now stop complaining and take your dressing gown off."
* * * * *
By the time the first rays of sunlight slipped over the windowsill, Minerva was dressed and ready for breakfast. From the bathroom she could hear Remus was humming to himself as he shaved.
In the end it had been her that had given him the massage despite his insistence that he didn't deserve it. He'd been patient, selfless and supportive at the time when she'd needed him most. The news of her pregnancy had surely been a shock to him as well, yet he hadn't been angry with her for not telling him sooner, or questioned how she'd manage to cope. He'd seen that the situation couldn't be changed and he'd chosen to make the best of it, for better or for worse. Grateful for his support, she'd lavished him with attention. Eventually one thing had lead to another, and when it was all over they'd dozed peacefully in each other's arms until it was time to rise.
Now she was up, Minerva was keen to get downstairs. She'd missed a whole day of lessons and was anxious to get her files up to date. She also needed to see Albus. Keen not to repeat her earlier mistake, she was determined to inform him of her pregnancy before the sun set. He'd given her the benefit of the doubt last time. Now he deserved the truth. With that in mind, she went to gather the papers she needed from her desk and was surprised to find a tin of biscuits sitting on top of it.
"What are these for?" she called.
"I got them for you in Hogsmeade. They're called 'ginger newts'. I thought you might like the tin."
"Oh."
She studied them a moment longer, then shrugged and added the tin to the pile of parchments in her arms. The realisation that she was cradling her burden much as a mother would cradle a child stopped her short.
Remus stuck his head through the doorway, his face still covered in lather.
"Shouldn't you have another day off? Poppy told me you should rest."
"Do you really think I'd rest knowing there was work to be done?" she said lightly. "Besides, I thought perhaps if I caught up with everything today we could go out for dinner tonight."
"I'd like that," he admitted. "Rosmerta told me that she's doing a new menu for the New Year. She's promised us free drinks if we come and try it and tell her what we think."
Minerva smiled warmly at his sheepish enthusiasm.
"Free drinks for you," she pointed out. "It'll be Gillywater and orange juice for me from now on."
* * * * *
Once breakfast was over, Minerva went straight to her classroom. Stacked on her desk were several folders and notes from the staff that had kindly stepped in to cover her lessons the previous day. Venus had had no problems with the second year Ravenclaws, unsurprisingly. Equally expected was a rather caustic note from Severus informing her that Fred and George Weasley would be enjoying detention with him for another week, or for as long as it took for them to learn how to behave properly in class. The Slytherin third years, he added, had been a joy to teach.
Minerva made a mental note not to forget to thank Venus and to find out exactly what the Weasley twins had done. A few sharp words from their own Head of House probably wouldn't make much difference but would be necessary nevertheless.
With a wave of her wand the papers lifted up from the desk and filed themselves neatly on a nearby shelf ready for her to review later in the day. The marks Venus and Severus had awarded in her absence would then be neatly transcribed into her ledgers using her favourite quill; one that would automatically dispense appropriate coloured ink according to how well each student had performed. The tin of ginger newts sat on the corner of the desk and she took one absently as she considered her classes for the upcoming day and mentally checked that everything was prepared.
"Minerva? I wondered if I might have a word?"
She looked up to see Albus Dumbledore standing in the classroom doorway. In one hand he was brandishing an arrangement of vividly coloured exotic flowers wrapped in scarlet and gold tissue paper.
Curiously she got to her feet. Were they for her? Did he know? Maybe they were just because she hadn't been well. Or perhaps they were for someone else entirely. Minerva saw him smiling wryly, fully aware of the effect his simple gesture was having on her and she frowned suddenly, annoyed at herself for falling prey to his rather childish sense of humour.
"Certainly, Albus," she said briskly. "Shall we stay here or would you prefer I come to your office?"
"Here will be fine," Albus replied, closing the door against unwanted ears. Immediately his sharp eyes spotted the biscuits on her desk.
May I..?"
He gestured at the tartan tin and she nodded.
"Go ahead."
Albus took a bite of the biscuit and closed his eyes as he chewed, apparently savouring the taste. When he'd finished his mouthful he nodded approvingly.
"Not as sweet as I'd like but certainly rather tasty. In fact, it reminds me of a little snack I came across whilst-"
"Albus…"
It wasn't that his stories weren't interesting. It was more that she was curious as to why he wanted to speak to her, and that she had a lot of work to do and it really wasn't the time. And, of course, she wanted to get her own confession over with as soon as possible. She'd learnt her lesson about keeping secrets from him but that still didn't make it easy.
Albus smiled benevolently at her.
"My apologies, Minerva. Where was I?"
She raised an eyebrow.
"Ah, yes. It would appear that congratulations are in order. Here-"
He handed her the flowers, his blue eyes twinkling over the top of his spectacles at her surprise.
"Watch out for the genista tinctoria. It'll spit pollen at you if you don't keep it in water."
Two sets of eyes glanced down at the dry stems protruding from the bottom of the paper, and then at the violet fronds of the plant in question. Hastily Albus snapped his fingers. An elegant crystal vase materialised on the desk and Minerva thrust the bouquet gratefully into the water. She had no desire to spend the rest of the day with an orange face.
"And how are you, my dear?"
"Fine, thank you, Albus."
"And Remus?"
"He's fine, too. We're all fine. Albus, I didn't mean to-"
"I know. You would have come to see me today. I appreciate that. And I do, of course, know how committed you are to ensuring your work is up to date."
"Yes," she said vaguely, though she was still busy trying to work out how he'd found out. It didn't seem likely that Remus would have said anything, not after she'd told him she'd be seeing Albus herself. And Poppy had promised to let Minerva break the news and confidentiality was second nature to the kindly nurse. So, how did he know?
Perhaps he could tell just by looking at her.
But if he could..?
"You already knew!" she exclaimed loudly, as realisation struck. "You said it before… after Remus and Severus… you said I was different! You knew!"
"And you were different," he said with a wry smile.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, but even as she said it she knew the answer.
"You weren't ready to know. And even if you had been, it wouldn't have been for me to interfere. So, tell me. How are you feeling?"
His kindly concern brought out her fears once more. Albus was the very epitome of Hogwarts, of all that she valued and held most dear. Was she really ready to risk letting it all go?
"I feel… I don't know what to feel. I don't know what to think. It's just so big, Albus, and I… I never thought it could happen."
Minerva sank slowly back into her chair.
"We've had this conversation before, you and I," he said, helping himself to another biscuit.
"I know."
"Stop trying to rationalise everything. It's not always neat and tidy. You have to let go and enjoy the ride."
"But what if something happens? What if something goes wrong or…"
"What if it does? Are you telling me you wouldn't fight with every ounce of strength you possessed to protect those that you love? Come now, Minerva. Stop giving up and start believing."
"But…"
"Don't you think that Remus worries? That he's not good enough for you, that you might find someone better?"
Of course he did. It hadn't occurred to her before. She'd been too busy worrying about her own insecurities to ever consider that he might feel the same way. He always seemed so calm, always seemed happy to joke about things that happened. And after all, it was he that had made the first move. He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't been confident that she'd want him.
Perhaps Remus was braver than he thought.
But Albus had already moved on to more practical matters.
"Now, it shouldn't be overly difficult to come to some kind of suitable arrangement – assuming of course that Remus decides to continue in his post next year, and I certainly hope he does. Madam Pomfrey has assured me that she will be only too happy to take care of the child when both of you are teaching. I, too, would gladly help out."
He paused to smile broadly at Minerva and she had a sudden image of Albus gleefully feeding sherbet lemons to her baby.
"Thank you," she said weakly.
"You're welcome," he beamed. "In fact I must say I am rather looking forward to it!"
* * * * *
By five o'clock Minerva's last class had been sent on their way and she was returning to her rooms, vase of flowers in hand. The practical nature of her conversation with Dumbledore had made her feel much more confidant that Remus' dream could be more than just a dream and for the rest of the day her attention had wandered shamefully. Whilst her class had been trying to master reverse transformation spells her mind had been dwelling on possible names and the best place to buy baby clothes. It was inexcusable behaviour, and she was relieved that her classes were over and that she could think about whatever she pleased. Truth be told, she was looking forward to dinner. Despite a large breakfast and a more than adequate lunch she was already feeling hungry.
Remus sat at her desk writing studiously.
"I'm writing to Syman Llewellyn," he explained. "He wrote the werewolf book. He says in the book that he's researching a cure and that it's looking really positive. I'm writing to him to see if I can help at all. I want to be a good father."
"You will be a good father."
"You know what I mean. A normal father."
She was momentarily distracted as her gaze fell on a large packing case on the floor behind him.
"It's a Boggart," Remus said, noticing her confusion.
"I thought you covered Boggarts before Christmas."
"It's not for lessons."
Quickly he outlined his plan to help Harry. Minerva listened, frowning slightly. It was an unwritten rule that teachers did not give assistance to students outside classes. Magic was an art; a skill that could only be mastered through careful practice and understanding. Supervised teaching and written assessments were used to ensure that understanding was present and it was of vital importance that students listened closely to what they were being taught. Extra tuition to any student could be seen as unfair, and, in Minerva's opinion, did not encourage students to pay attention in class. She'd been vindicated the previous year when Gilderoy Lockhart had been inundated with requests for private study sessions. The few sections of the curriculum he'd actually managed to teach to his students hadn't even been difficult ones!
But this was clearly a different case. Albus had spoken to her on several occasions about his concern for Harry, though admittedly only in rather vague terms. Surely it couldn't do the boy any harm? In fact, a demonstration of just how useful magic could be might even inspire the boy to work harder.
"Just be careful," she advised him. "He doesn't look like he's been sleeping well as it is."
"I know. That's why I thought this might help. I've got plenty of chocolate just in case."
His obvious concern for Harry touched her deeply.
"Where did you find the Boggart?" Minerva inquired.
"It was hiding in Filch's office." He laughed. "When Filch appeared it turned into Peeves. It took me ages to explain."
"What were you doing in Filch's office?"
"Oh, I was just looking for something that had been confiscated from him years ago."
"What?"
"Nothing. Just an old joke. Here, I'll get the Boggart out and we can see what it makes of you!"
"No, don't!"
Remus cocked his head curiously at the alarm in her voice.
"Surely a powerful witch like you isn't afraid of a Boggart?"
"I'm not afraid!" Minerva said indignantly. "I'm just being sensible."
"Sensible?" He raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Looks like being afraid to me."
"Surely Poppy told you that I need to avoid unnecessary stress?"
Remus grinned. "That's just an excuse. What can you possibly have to be so scared of?"
"Nothing," she mumbled, but the image was already in her mind. Remus, dead, or wounded and being pursued by those of narrow minds and cold hearts who believed wholeheartedly that 'his sort' did not deserve to live. Her beloved alone and terrified, away where she could not reach him to help him. To save him.
She turned sharply and went to place the vase on the coffee table, determined not to succumb to her fears.
"What does it turn into for you, anyway?" she asked.
"The moon. It's not intelligent enough to sense anything that isn't obvious. It can tell what I… what I am. It thinks my biggest fear is the full moon. Even though it isn't."
For the first time he noticed Albus' flowers and his face fell.
"I didn't think to get you flowers," he said sadly.
"Oh, Remus."
Minerva leant over the desk and gently caressed his cheek.
"You've given me something far more precious than flowers," she whispered.
"Massages?" he hazarded curiously.
"Our daughter."
Minerva smiled and kissed him softly, so that her lips lingered on his.
"The answer's yes," she said with sudden certainty. "I love you, Remus Lupin. I would be honoured to be your wife."
~
If you like Remus/Minerva fic please visit the livejournal community hms_lf - our new community and archive for all things RL/MM! You can also find it via my personal LJ which is linked to from my personal profile.
And a big thank you to everyone that has reviewed thus far – your words have inspired this story and kept it growing and I am grateful to each and every one of you!
Mel