An Understanding
Morning greeted her with stiff muscles that seemed to ache everywhere. The fire had
gone out and all of her bodyguards were already up and awake. She stretched gingerly,
like a cat, and stood up. She was starting to fold her mattress when Aoshi took over.
"Go get washed, I'll take over this while Soujirou goes with you."
"Thanks Aoshi." she said gratifully. "Let's go Soujirou-chan."
There was a small brook nearby and the water was icy cold, fresh from the mountains
high up. She slipped off her gloves and splashed some on her face. Looking into her
reflection she paused for a moment, experiencing a bout of melancholy. Death was but
a few days away and she felt she had gotten little out of life. She had bravely marched
through these past few months with her head up high. But as they drew closer to her
final destination, she could feel regret. Regret of not making many friends, regret of
having no family, regret of experiencing real love....it was the last one that really
brought her down. Because of her....powers, people rarely came near her for fear of
their lives. She had seen the looks of disgust on the males as other people told them
who she was. A soul sucker. Why did that name have to breed so much fear and hate on
her? It's not as if she went around trying to suck people's soul on purpose. Love was too
far out of her reach, she just wish she didn't know it. Ignorance is bliss. A warm hand
rested on her shoulder. She turned her head to see Soujirou standing right behind her.
She opened her mouth to say something about the close contact but he shushed her
with a hand. She gave a sigh and allowed the pleasure of contact soothe away her
unhappiness. While she stared back at her reflection, Soujirou worriedly looked at her.
His usual smile was gone now, replaced by a frown. *She is beginning to realize the
heaviness of her burden* It was her burden to carry, and yet he wished he could help
her endure such hardship. For now, he would comfort and help. Be a friend when none
wanted to be. Perhaps that would be enough. But if she was to give up her life to save
those of others, how justified would his actions be? And how could he repay her if she
was to lie in death at the end?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soujirou's worries lightened up as Sano made her laugh all day with jokes and teases. He
and Aoshi tolerated all of this in their usual resolved way, but secretly inside they were
both glad of Sano's lighthearted presence. The only cheerless person was Kenshin who
innerly scowled at how content the group was. This was a mission that required total
and complete seriousness and subtlety. Yet he could feel the ki of the others getting
lighter instead of heavier with the important mission they were given. What were they
feeling that he could not? Kaoru burst out in another fit of laughter as Sano related a
time he had gone into the wrong bar.
"Ah, Sano-kun" Kaoru said, wiping small tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes.
"I wish I could have known you sooner."
Sano took a swig of his sake and grinned.
"I don't know if you really want to be in the same situations as I have. Oy, leader, when
are we stopping for dinner?" he called out to the front.
"When we have covered enough ground for the day." Kenshin answered curtly.
"When's enough?" Sano poked furthur. "Jou-chan here looks tired and that village up
ahead is the perfect place for some rest."
Kenshin was about to answer when all the bodyguards froze in the seat, weapons were
out a split second later. Kaoru looked around her nervously as Kenshin silently
motioned her to lean down. His amber eyes flashed to the right and was a blurry figure
as he hopped off the horse and cut down an arrow aiming straight at Kaoru. The attack
followed right after it, twenty men appearing out of nowhere and brandishing all kinds
of weaponry.
"Sano! Aoshi! Soujirou! Take Kaoru!" Kenshin shouted, cutting down several men with a
single stroke. But they kept attacking, throwing themselves at the swordsman with a
fierce desperation. Death was no matter to them, what was more important was a thin
girl being led towards the village by two men. A few men slipped back into the forest,
attempting to catch up to Kaoru. Kenshin noted this with boiling yellow eyes.
"It ends now." He unleashed a Ryu Sou Sen only more broader so he could attack at
least one vital point of every warrior around him. Without even waiting to see them fall,
he sped off towards Kaoru. Sano, Aoshi, and Soujirou were lying fallen on the road
though there was no appearance of a fight. Kenshin sniffed the air and could smell the
remaining traces of sleeping gas. They went to far too many lengths to get them, it had
to be Shishio's doing. With a sneer at such dishonorable tactics Kenshin slid out his
sword. One of warrios was holding a katana's blade at Kaoru's throat, being careful not
to touch her.
"Put that sword back in, Battousai." Said the man holding the katana. "Or this soulsucker
here dies."
Kaoru didn't appear frightened at all but she looked tired and weary, as if something like
this happened too often to her.
"Kenshin..." She said softly. Her message was clear, don't screw up the mission, she still
had to be alive. He angrily sheathed his sword and put two hands to show he wasn't
going for his sword. He felt someone come up behind him and hit him in his shiatsu
sleep spot with the hilt of a sword. The last thing he remembered was Kaoru's angry
indignation on hitting people from behind. *Stupid girl*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Icy coldness seeped through the fabric of his clothes and through his body, but his
head was lying on a warm and comfortable pillow. He opened his eyes to see Kaoru
looking down. She gave a weak smile. "Welcome back."
He quickly sat up and looked around him. A dungeon with two sentries standing
diligently near the doors. The floor was thankfully dry but still biting cold.
"Shishio's doing, I'm guessing. At least he hasn't killed us yet, there's still a good chance.
I just need a little bit of skin and the war will be over." Kaoru said good humoredly with
her stubborn optimism. "Is your head alright? I couldn't believe they did that, sneaking
up behind you." Her eyes looked anxious at him. What was this....why was she acting
worried about him?
"I knew they were sneaking up behind me." He said, leaning his back against the chilly
walls. His side felt empty without his sword and they had taken his hidden dagger as
well.
"Oh.....thank you for coming to rescue me."
"It's my job."
Silence.
"I know, but I wanted to thank you anyway." She added quietly.
"Did you think I was going to run away?" He asked her.
"No, I just wanted to thank you. No strings attached. Just a simple thank you for
coming. Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?"
"Question people when their intentions are honorable."
More silence.
"Your welcome." He admitted gruffly.
She gave a sigh from the darkness and asked no more questions. Damn, he was starting
to feel guilty again, like he had hurt her feelings. Why did he care? He shouldn't. She was
an assignment, but she had worried about him. Nobody had ever worried for him in his
whole life. People were always so confident in his skills on the sword that they
sometimes assumed that he was as immortal as the gods themselves. But he felt pain as
well, and he got hurt like a normal human too.
"If you could love me, would you?" she suddenly asked in a hushed tone.
"What?" Kenshin asked, though his ears had never deceived him.
"If you could love me, would you?" she repeated even softer from the darkness. His
sharp eyes could see her figure perfectly, huddled against the cold stone wall. Spots of
moonlight shone through the metal bars, confusing Kenshin's eyes from a girl to a
goddess. He should say no, and tell her to stop asking such stupid questions...but
something prevented him from doing so. Perhaps, just this once, he would stop
deceiving himself. Stop being cold, stop being harsh....just stop being the imposter that
he had been for the past ten years.
"Why do you ask that?" he said softly, surprising Kaoru with his gentle tone. She gave a
tiny smile in the dark light, one that he could feel pressing against his skin.
"I'm beginning to see how real my mission is and that escape is impossible." Kaoru gave
a shiver and he scooted from his spot to her side, trying to give her some of his warmth.
She leaned against him gratifully, for once forgetting about the deadly power of her
touch and loosing herself in the comfort of his.
"Even though I am who I am, could you love me? Or will you push me away just like
everybody else?" she continued, bending her head down to look at her hands. Those
tiny white hands that could kill with the slightest touch.
"I don't know." he answered truthfully. He would give his life for hers, but....he was her
bodyguard, that was his job. He would protect her with all his being, this frail child that
sat close to him, but that, too, was his job. He could feel the tiny sigh running through
her body and he felt reprehensible for his answer.
"Thank you." she murmured. "For your honesty. You are the first person I know who
didn't deny me in their first breath."
"Has everybody always feared you?" he suddenly asked, curious to know.
"Fear, and hate. Nobody likes a person who can kill with just a touch. Aoshi-sama was
the only person willing to protect me from the people."
Kenshin's chest gave a pang. People feared him and hated him as well, terrified of how
he could kill so easily. They weren't so different.
"It's disappointing, knowing that the people you are trying to protect detest you at the
same time." She said.
"Then why save them?" He asked angrily, a question that had been puzzling him for all
his years as a bodyguard. All the people offered was money, jewels, and girls. But never
friendship or help.
"Because they need to be saved." She stated plainly. "An ability like yours or mine may
be used for death, but they can be used to save as well. We must trust that the hearts of
these people will forge a better world through our own struggles. A war always brings
out the worst in people, hope and loyalty fails due to despair. A few people must toil
through death and blood for the sake of thousands. It's why we were made, our reason
for living and breathing. You may not like your job-"
"What makes you say that?" He interrupted.
"I see it in your eyes." She continued on. "But you go on because it's what you do, a
destiny of killing and protecting. I may not like it, but I respect your daily struggle to
keep your humanity." He wanted to hold her hand or embrace her or....give some form
of gratitude. 28 years of walking on this earth, and someone had finally understood
him. Understood his mental fight against his inner hitokiri despite the mask he always
wore.
"Then what's your destiny?"
"A destiny of untouchable love." The regret in her voice was unmistakable. "But maybe,
just maybe, if the gods are kind, I might have a chance in the next life."
"And if you don't?"
"Then I will patiently bear the same duties again."
"How do you do it? How do you hold on to hope?" He asked dejectedly. She wasn't able
to answer for loud footsteps echoed in the stone hall outside. Kaoru reached into her
kimono and swiftly pulled out a long dagger. She pressed it into Kenshin's hand and he
placed it into his gi. The door clanked open and in stepped a tall man completely
covered in bandages. He didn't even have to introduce himself, they could both feel the
malice of his ki. Shishio gave a grin through an opening for his mouth then started to
laugh loudly.
_________________________________________________________________
*Wow, I thought that last bit was actually kinda depressing. But after months of not updating, here it is! I think this story might be shorter than I planned. There might be two or three more chapters after this one, which will make this story my shortest one ever. And I didn't want to add a whole bunch of romance which proceeds to both of them falling in love with each other. Right now, they both don't love each other, at least not yet, though Kenshin is definitely getting some of those feelings. Kaoru was asking if he could love her because he doesn't seem as terrified of her as most people. Kinda like a last question before you die sort of thing. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you leave a long and meaningful review on your thoughts of the story so far.
Morning greeted her with stiff muscles that seemed to ache everywhere. The fire had
gone out and all of her bodyguards were already up and awake. She stretched gingerly,
like a cat, and stood up. She was starting to fold her mattress when Aoshi took over.
"Go get washed, I'll take over this while Soujirou goes with you."
"Thanks Aoshi." she said gratifully. "Let's go Soujirou-chan."
There was a small brook nearby and the water was icy cold, fresh from the mountains
high up. She slipped off her gloves and splashed some on her face. Looking into her
reflection she paused for a moment, experiencing a bout of melancholy. Death was but
a few days away and she felt she had gotten little out of life. She had bravely marched
through these past few months with her head up high. But as they drew closer to her
final destination, she could feel regret. Regret of not making many friends, regret of
having no family, regret of experiencing real love....it was the last one that really
brought her down. Because of her....powers, people rarely came near her for fear of
their lives. She had seen the looks of disgust on the males as other people told them
who she was. A soul sucker. Why did that name have to breed so much fear and hate on
her? It's not as if she went around trying to suck people's soul on purpose. Love was too
far out of her reach, she just wish she didn't know it. Ignorance is bliss. A warm hand
rested on her shoulder. She turned her head to see Soujirou standing right behind her.
She opened her mouth to say something about the close contact but he shushed her
with a hand. She gave a sigh and allowed the pleasure of contact soothe away her
unhappiness. While she stared back at her reflection, Soujirou worriedly looked at her.
His usual smile was gone now, replaced by a frown. *She is beginning to realize the
heaviness of her burden* It was her burden to carry, and yet he wished he could help
her endure such hardship. For now, he would comfort and help. Be a friend when none
wanted to be. Perhaps that would be enough. But if she was to give up her life to save
those of others, how justified would his actions be? And how could he repay her if she
was to lie in death at the end?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soujirou's worries lightened up as Sano made her laugh all day with jokes and teases. He
and Aoshi tolerated all of this in their usual resolved way, but secretly inside they were
both glad of Sano's lighthearted presence. The only cheerless person was Kenshin who
innerly scowled at how content the group was. This was a mission that required total
and complete seriousness and subtlety. Yet he could feel the ki of the others getting
lighter instead of heavier with the important mission they were given. What were they
feeling that he could not? Kaoru burst out in another fit of laughter as Sano related a
time he had gone into the wrong bar.
"Ah, Sano-kun" Kaoru said, wiping small tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes.
"I wish I could have known you sooner."
Sano took a swig of his sake and grinned.
"I don't know if you really want to be in the same situations as I have. Oy, leader, when
are we stopping for dinner?" he called out to the front.
"When we have covered enough ground for the day." Kenshin answered curtly.
"When's enough?" Sano poked furthur. "Jou-chan here looks tired and that village up
ahead is the perfect place for some rest."
Kenshin was about to answer when all the bodyguards froze in the seat, weapons were
out a split second later. Kaoru looked around her nervously as Kenshin silently
motioned her to lean down. His amber eyes flashed to the right and was a blurry figure
as he hopped off the horse and cut down an arrow aiming straight at Kaoru. The attack
followed right after it, twenty men appearing out of nowhere and brandishing all kinds
of weaponry.
"Sano! Aoshi! Soujirou! Take Kaoru!" Kenshin shouted, cutting down several men with a
single stroke. But they kept attacking, throwing themselves at the swordsman with a
fierce desperation. Death was no matter to them, what was more important was a thin
girl being led towards the village by two men. A few men slipped back into the forest,
attempting to catch up to Kaoru. Kenshin noted this with boiling yellow eyes.
"It ends now." He unleashed a Ryu Sou Sen only more broader so he could attack at
least one vital point of every warrior around him. Without even waiting to see them fall,
he sped off towards Kaoru. Sano, Aoshi, and Soujirou were lying fallen on the road
though there was no appearance of a fight. Kenshin sniffed the air and could smell the
remaining traces of sleeping gas. They went to far too many lengths to get them, it had
to be Shishio's doing. With a sneer at such dishonorable tactics Kenshin slid out his
sword. One of warrios was holding a katana's blade at Kaoru's throat, being careful not
to touch her.
"Put that sword back in, Battousai." Said the man holding the katana. "Or this soulsucker
here dies."
Kaoru didn't appear frightened at all but she looked tired and weary, as if something like
this happened too often to her.
"Kenshin..." She said softly. Her message was clear, don't screw up the mission, she still
had to be alive. He angrily sheathed his sword and put two hands to show he wasn't
going for his sword. He felt someone come up behind him and hit him in his shiatsu
sleep spot with the hilt of a sword. The last thing he remembered was Kaoru's angry
indignation on hitting people from behind. *Stupid girl*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Icy coldness seeped through the fabric of his clothes and through his body, but his
head was lying on a warm and comfortable pillow. He opened his eyes to see Kaoru
looking down. She gave a weak smile. "Welcome back."
He quickly sat up and looked around him. A dungeon with two sentries standing
diligently near the doors. The floor was thankfully dry but still biting cold.
"Shishio's doing, I'm guessing. At least he hasn't killed us yet, there's still a good chance.
I just need a little bit of skin and the war will be over." Kaoru said good humoredly with
her stubborn optimism. "Is your head alright? I couldn't believe they did that, sneaking
up behind you." Her eyes looked anxious at him. What was this....why was she acting
worried about him?
"I knew they were sneaking up behind me." He said, leaning his back against the chilly
walls. His side felt empty without his sword and they had taken his hidden dagger as
well.
"Oh.....thank you for coming to rescue me."
"It's my job."
Silence.
"I know, but I wanted to thank you anyway." She added quietly.
"Did you think I was going to run away?" He asked her.
"No, I just wanted to thank you. No strings attached. Just a simple thank you for
coming. Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?"
"Question people when their intentions are honorable."
More silence.
"Your welcome." He admitted gruffly.
She gave a sigh from the darkness and asked no more questions. Damn, he was starting
to feel guilty again, like he had hurt her feelings. Why did he care? He shouldn't. She was
an assignment, but she had worried about him. Nobody had ever worried for him in his
whole life. People were always so confident in his skills on the sword that they
sometimes assumed that he was as immortal as the gods themselves. But he felt pain as
well, and he got hurt like a normal human too.
"If you could love me, would you?" she suddenly asked in a hushed tone.
"What?" Kenshin asked, though his ears had never deceived him.
"If you could love me, would you?" she repeated even softer from the darkness. His
sharp eyes could see her figure perfectly, huddled against the cold stone wall. Spots of
moonlight shone through the metal bars, confusing Kenshin's eyes from a girl to a
goddess. He should say no, and tell her to stop asking such stupid questions...but
something prevented him from doing so. Perhaps, just this once, he would stop
deceiving himself. Stop being cold, stop being harsh....just stop being the imposter that
he had been for the past ten years.
"Why do you ask that?" he said softly, surprising Kaoru with his gentle tone. She gave a
tiny smile in the dark light, one that he could feel pressing against his skin.
"I'm beginning to see how real my mission is and that escape is impossible." Kaoru gave
a shiver and he scooted from his spot to her side, trying to give her some of his warmth.
She leaned against him gratifully, for once forgetting about the deadly power of her
touch and loosing herself in the comfort of his.
"Even though I am who I am, could you love me? Or will you push me away just like
everybody else?" she continued, bending her head down to look at her hands. Those
tiny white hands that could kill with the slightest touch.
"I don't know." he answered truthfully. He would give his life for hers, but....he was her
bodyguard, that was his job. He would protect her with all his being, this frail child that
sat close to him, but that, too, was his job. He could feel the tiny sigh running through
her body and he felt reprehensible for his answer.
"Thank you." she murmured. "For your honesty. You are the first person I know who
didn't deny me in their first breath."
"Has everybody always feared you?" he suddenly asked, curious to know.
"Fear, and hate. Nobody likes a person who can kill with just a touch. Aoshi-sama was
the only person willing to protect me from the people."
Kenshin's chest gave a pang. People feared him and hated him as well, terrified of how
he could kill so easily. They weren't so different.
"It's disappointing, knowing that the people you are trying to protect detest you at the
same time." She said.
"Then why save them?" He asked angrily, a question that had been puzzling him for all
his years as a bodyguard. All the people offered was money, jewels, and girls. But never
friendship or help.
"Because they need to be saved." She stated plainly. "An ability like yours or mine may
be used for death, but they can be used to save as well. We must trust that the hearts of
these people will forge a better world through our own struggles. A war always brings
out the worst in people, hope and loyalty fails due to despair. A few people must toil
through death and blood for the sake of thousands. It's why we were made, our reason
for living and breathing. You may not like your job-"
"What makes you say that?" He interrupted.
"I see it in your eyes." She continued on. "But you go on because it's what you do, a
destiny of killing and protecting. I may not like it, but I respect your daily struggle to
keep your humanity." He wanted to hold her hand or embrace her or....give some form
of gratitude. 28 years of walking on this earth, and someone had finally understood
him. Understood his mental fight against his inner hitokiri despite the mask he always
wore.
"Then what's your destiny?"
"A destiny of untouchable love." The regret in her voice was unmistakable. "But maybe,
just maybe, if the gods are kind, I might have a chance in the next life."
"And if you don't?"
"Then I will patiently bear the same duties again."
"How do you do it? How do you hold on to hope?" He asked dejectedly. She wasn't able
to answer for loud footsteps echoed in the stone hall outside. Kaoru reached into her
kimono and swiftly pulled out a long dagger. She pressed it into Kenshin's hand and he
placed it into his gi. The door clanked open and in stepped a tall man completely
covered in bandages. He didn't even have to introduce himself, they could both feel the
malice of his ki. Shishio gave a grin through an opening for his mouth then started to
laugh loudly.
_________________________________________________________________
*Wow, I thought that last bit was actually kinda depressing. But after months of not updating, here it is! I think this story might be shorter than I planned. There might be two or three more chapters after this one, which will make this story my shortest one ever. And I didn't want to add a whole bunch of romance which proceeds to both of them falling in love with each other. Right now, they both don't love each other, at least not yet, though Kenshin is definitely getting some of those feelings. Kaoru was asking if he could love her because he doesn't seem as terrified of her as most people. Kinda like a last question before you die sort of thing. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you leave a long and meaningful review on your thoughts of the story so far.