Santa's not sharing CSI so he's getting coal instead of cookies.
"I'm sorry. You're what?" Sara was baffled.
"I'm absolutely terrified of you." Grissom stated.
"Well, I'm sorry. But I dont understand why you would be scared of me." Sara said, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Sara, when I'm with you, I can't think straight. I have the past half century becoming who I am and when I'm with you I forget it all. I have built this wall around my heart for a reason. It may sound funny but I am afraid of getting hurt. I saw how much love hurt my mother. I couldnt bare to hurt like that. To lie awake at night and cry. And what's worse is I would eternally hate myself if I did that to you." Gil confessed.
"Too late. I cant tell you the number of times I go home and cry and cry and cry wondering what I did to make you hate me so much. You realize, you never talk to me anymore?"
"We talk all the time." Grissom said softly.
"No... I talk, you nod. I guess what I dont understand is why you can let that wall down for that bone lady Terri or for Lady Heather of all people. Yet, I've known you for so long, and you cant even stand to look into my eyes." Sara said amazingly calm.
"They were different." He said standing up.
"DIFFERENT!?!??!" Sara screamed. "Why? Why would you open your heart to someone who doesnt even live here and travels all over the country when I LIVE here? Why did you want to be with that woman who practically sells herself to a hundred different guys when you know the only man I ever have and ever will want is you?" She collapsed on the couch again.
"Because I feel something for you I'm not used to feeling!" Grissom screamed back. Sara looked up shocked. "Why do you think I'm scared." He sat down beside her. "I thought I was safe from ever having to let anyone in. But when you showed up that day..."
"You called me." Sara said quietly.
"Yeah I did. I thought I was over what ever crush it was I had had on you all those years ago. But apparently I wasnt. And I cant help but want you more and more every day. And its killing me because I'm afraid if I let you in, you'll learn stuff about me that you dont like and you'll leave me. I couldnt handle it. It would literally kill me. I'm talking Doc Robbins clear a table and let me lay down. I need you in my life. Oxygen... Food... Water... Those stopped being priorities when you came back into my life. I need you more than anything. But I couldnt have you the way I wanted. That's why I stopped putting us on cases together. That's why I stopped talking to you so much... Because I was afraid I would let something slip out and I would regret it." Tears were streaming down his face. He threw his glasses onto the table and laid back against the couch.
"Why?" Sara asked. He looked at her confused. "Why would you regret it?"
"Because I can't be there for you forever. Because I may not be everything you need me to be...Because..."
"Do you have a pulse?" Sara interupted.
"Yes... Why?" Grissom asked slightly agitated. He was trying to open up and she was asking him A&P questions.
"Do you have arms to hold me with when the day has been to much or when its cold outside or just when I want to watch a sappy movie with someone?" She continued.
"Sara..." Gil began.
"Do you love me?" She looked directly into his eyes.
"What?" He asked.
"Do you" She stood up "love" she squatted down in front of him "me?"
"Sara.. I..."
"Yes or no Gil it's not a hard question."
"Yes. With every fiber of my being." Gil said putting his hands on her arms.
"Then you are everything I will ever need you to be."