Author's Note: This was pure fun. I have read a lot about the betting and gossiping in the SGC, and I wanted to write a fan fic that followed the pools from the very beginning. Needless to say, I had to read through the summaries of so many episodes that it was not funny. This is unbetaed, because of a little hitch in the e-mail world. And this is my sad attempt at humor and a third person point of view on the secret happenings of the SGC. I do hope you at least get a chuckle out of it. One-Shot, yes. Oh, and I was asked over e-mail about archiving, and my answer is, at the moment, no. Once I get my site all fixed up, I'll see. Oh, and one more thing, I have not seen the episodes I talk about past season four, so excuse any mistakes you might find. And yes, this is part one of two, because I am way to tired to write the rest at the moment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I do not write for profit. If I owned them, you would see public proof of the grapevine and such on your TV screen.
Thanks: gateworld (dot) net for the episode summaries
Dedication: To Maddie, even though she won't read it, I'm almost positive she would laugh at the absurdness of it all. And because of the late night talks over IM on our plans to join the SGC and steal technology. The Captain in this story is her, because it would be the type of thing she would bet. :: huggles Maddie ::
Summary: "Because even a top secret facility needs something to lighten their moods" Pools and Bets in the SGC
It all started after the return from the second mission, when SG-3, SG-2, Sergeant Davis, and a rather scruffy Daniel Jackson gathered together to talk about the slight attraction of Captain Samantha Carter to Colonel Jack O'Neill. The offer to arm wrestle was fresh in their minds, and Major Kowalski took no time in telling Daniel what happened. That was, of course, before they realized that he was a Goa'uld, but the bets where made, and in no time at all the base was massed with bets, gossip, and informers, the most prominent was Daniel Jackson himself.
It was Sergeant Siler who was the first big winner with his bet about their first kiss: under alien influence, in the locker room and Carter would try and seduce Jack. No one knew exactly how he got that, but they respected his knowledge. Then came Jack walking in on Sam kissing Narim, creating a potential diverter of Sam's attentions. Daniel was the information spreader, as well as bookie. The bets began to take more extreme turns, as one young Captain Madison earned quite a chunk when she bet something about an Alternate Reality Carter and O'Neill being involved in some way. Daniel was kicking himself when he reported it to the base grapevine, and when the Captain came around to collect the money.
But then he had to go away and save the world, so the rest of the base was left without their bookie. Then came the time when Sam became a host to a Tok'ra, and Jack called her Sam a lot. Daniel was the one that got that money, since no one guessed that scenario. Then when Martouf joined the scene, the pools when wild, about ways Martouf would die, buy whose hand, and when. Of course, they where all disappointed when Martouf didn't suddenly die, and even more depressed when Daniel told them that Jack had not confessed his feelings for Sam when he was speaking Ancient. They all thought that that was the perfect time. And then Daniel and the rest of SG-1 had disappeared into Hathor's clutches, and when they came back all where disappointed that nothing had happened, though Teal'c had been seen in new boots, something to do with Carter disobeying a direct order and going to rescue Jack when he might have been a host.
Hammond even joined in, and made a bundle when Dr, Carter and Kowalski came through the mirror. All where amazed that he could even guess that the Dr. Carter would kiss this realty's Jack. But she did, and Hammond bought a new car, much to amazement of Carter and Jack, who where oblivious to the whole goings on, much to the amusement of the SGC.
But then came the 100 days where Sam worked and wasted away to bring Jack back from Edora, only to find that Jack had hooked up with the nearest harlot and thought that he was never going to be back. The whole SGC was mad at him for that, and the pools turned to how long Sam would be mad at him, and then when Jack went all Special Ops, they thought that that would be the end of the relationship that didn't even exist except for in the imaginations of all the SGC.
But then came the time where Jack was beamed up to help Thor before Sam could accept his invitation to go fishing. And then to find out that it was a suicide mission and he forbid Carter to come up and help set the bets in motion again. And then after they where on that alien planet for 9 days, many bets where placed about what happened, because Carter and O'Neill seemed a lot closer that normal.
Anise didn't help with her armbands, and somehow the whole SGC knew that Jack didn't leave when Carter ordered him to. And then when Anise made her move on Jack, the pools when wild, wondering how Sam would react. And when Martouf was shot by Sam, Colonel Mayborn, though a wanted criminal, apparently made a bundle that was sent of to Russia. And when Teal'c reveled that Jack and Sam had to confess their feelings for each other at the hands of the Tok'ra, the president of the United States made a lot, too, though no one thought their little inter command gossip had reached that far.
But then came the issue with the Entity, and everyone was worried for Sam and the mental health of the base's 2IC, but everything worked out fine, even though no one except the bookie made anything from that encounter. And then again SG-1 was off saving the world, or rather the Tok'ra.
After the deal with Teal'c being brainwashed, everything started to go into a lull, but then Orlin had to show up and make things even more interesting, including getting Sam a 'date' and making Jack jealous. The same Captain that won the first pool, though now a Major, earned quite a bit off of that episode, too, much to the jealousy of Major Davis who had the exact same bet, but didn't include that the alien would be one of those Ascended types.
And, after that, much to the hidden enjoyment of the SGC, Tollana was destroyed, along with Major Carter's intergalactic stalker with bad fashion sense. Noticeably, Jack was in a better mood the rest of the week, placing another considerable pile of money into the President's hands, much to the amusement of Daniel and Walter, who, when drunk, came up with many reasons why the President would even bet on Sam and Jack, one of the most outlandish was to see how long the two could stand up, and whether or not to have his personal spy lock the two up in a storage closet and earn heaps of money off of it. Unfortunately for the two drunk men, the drunken ramblings where taken seriously, and the grape vine was unusually busy for the next few weeks.
When Samantha Carter was kidnapped buy the rich millionaire, the pools exploded again, especially with the noted concern of a certain Colonel, and where quite reluctant to die down, though when McKay showed up, they began again, filled with different opinions on what O'Neill might do to McKay, since it was quite obvious that McKay fancied Sam. The SGC was quite reluctant to accept that McKay was only going to be relocated to Russia, but again a certain Jack seemed quite pleased, along with the visible relief of Major Carter.
After that, there was a considerable lull of action, and the only real interesting thing was Daniel dying, much to the disappointment of the SGC. Considerable relief came when Jonas decided to take up Daniel's torch, and even more relief came when they realized he could remember everything without having to write it down.