Kitty and the Rocktumbler

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a BOILING LAKE OF LAVA!"

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ACT THREE - Genius at work

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Back in the village, Colossus finally jumps from the roof to land in front of Kitty

"Whaoh..don't sneak up on me like that! What are you trying to do, give me heart failure?!", she snaps, bonking him on the head with the book.

"Hello Kitty", he says with a smile.

"Hello Piotr", she says curtly.

Kitty goes to walks off, only to have Colossus take her book and look through it confusedly. Kitty frowns, holding out her hand.

"Piotr, can i have my book back please?".

"How can you read this? there are no pictures!", Piotr says, then sighs frustratedly, "I really, really hate this character".

"Well, some people use their imaginations", points otu Kitty, "like you...using your imagination to be a good bad guy".

Colossus shrugs and tosses the book into the mud, Kitty goes over to pick it up and clean it

"Kitty, it's about time you got your head out of those books and paid attention to more important things...like me", he says, giving a grin.

"That's better", says Kurt with a nod.

Amara, Dani and Amanda all sigh dreamily.

"The whole town's talking about it", he says, "It's not right for a woman to read, soon she starts getting ideas, and thinking.....".

He grimaces.

"Piotr, you are positively primeval", says Kitty, shaking her head.

Colossus puts his arm around her shoulder.

"Why thank you, Kitty".

Kitty gives him a flat look.

"It wasn't a compliment".

"Hey, whaddaya say you and me take a walk to the tavern and have a look at my hunting trophies". says Piotr, then sighs, "I have to be a killer too? Boize moi!".

"I'm a vegitarian...do you really think that i would do that?", says Kitty with a frown, then gives him a small smile, "Maybe some other time".

"What's wrong with her?", says Amara

"She's crazy!", mutters Dani

"He's gorgeous", sighs Amanda.

Colossus tries to tug her away.

"Please Piotr, I can't. I have to get home and help my father", says Kitty.

Pyro walks up, laughing manically....like he does.

"Ha ha ha. THAT crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get!".

Colossus and Pyro start to laugh, only to have Kitty hit them both upside the head

"Don't you talk about my father that way!", she chastises.

Colossus stops and hits Pyro

"Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!", he says.

"My father's not crazy", says Kitty moodily, then adds, "He's a geinius!".

There is a big explosion and smoke coming from the small cottage. Kitty mutters under her breath and storms off, leaving Colossus and Pyro laughing. Kitty gets home and enters the basement

"Papa?", she calls out.

Silence

Kurt sighs, bamfing onto the stage.

"Oh for God's sake just play the part!", he growls, dragging Forge onto the stage.

"I am NOT that old!". protests Forge, "I wasn't then and I'm still not now!!".

Kurt narrows his eyes.

"You are avare, Forge", he says pointedly, "that is vas this very parody that made you into one of Todd Fan's favorite characters?"

"Yeah, and put me up for dozen's of fics worth of abuse", mutters Forge.

"JUST ACT!", screams Kurt, bamfing away.

"Fine, fine", grumbles Forge, "How on Earth did that happen? Damn wiggy machine".

"Are you alright, PAPA?", says Kitty, grinning evily.

"Oh, don't you dare rub it in", growls Forge, before giving a freaky looking machine a kick, "I'm about to give up on this hunk of junk".

Kitty rolls her eyes amusedly.

"You always say that".

"I mean it this time", says Forge, waving a threatening finger at said contraption, "I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work".

"Yes you will", says Kitty matter-of-factly, "And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorow".

"Fairs, fairs are bad!",says Forge, shaking his head, "the whole Middleverse incident happened because of a fair!!!!"

"Forge....ve really aren't sending you back into Middleverse, ve promise", says Kurt with a smile.

Forge crosses his arms and makes a harumph noise

"And become a world famous inventor", adds Kitty in a sing-song voice.

Forge pauses, arching a brow.

"You really belive that?".

"I always have", smiles Kitty.

"Aww touching fake-father-fake-daughte rmoment", sniffs Kurt, before backing off as he gets deadly glares form his actors, "err...carry on".

"Well, what are we waiting for?", says Forge, "I'll have this thing fixed in no time".

He makes his false arm into a drill and slides under the machine, starting to work on it.

"Hand me that dog-legged clencher there", says Forge from under the machine, "...so did you have a good time in town today?".

"I got a new book", says Kitty, fishing out an odd looking tool with spoingy bits, ".....Papa, do you think I'm odd?".

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?", mutters Forge under his breath, "...I mean my daughter, odd?".

He slides back from under the machine, his false arm a big metal thing with lots of pincers and drills on it, he looks at it shrugs and goes back under

"Where would you get an idea like that?".

"Oh I don't know", sighs Kitty, "I'm just not sure i fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to".

"What about that Piotr?", comes Forge's rather muffled reply as clanging sounds emerge from under the machine, "He's a handsome fella".

"He's handsome alright", says Kitty, crossing her arms, "And rude and concited and..oh Papa, he's not for me".

Backstage, Piotr sniffles.

"I AM NOT CONCITED!!!"

"You are here!", snaps Kurt, "now go avay!".

Back on stage, Forge finally come back out from under the machine.

"Well don't you worry", he reasures her, "'cause this new invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us".

(He his arm to normal).

"I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try".

"Do we have to?", asks Kitty with a wince, "...really?".

"You people have no faith in me", mutters Forge, "one insy winsey little mistake involving dinosaurs form another dimension terrorising a school dance and I'm no longer trustworthy".

He presses a button before divebombing under a desk. The machine whirrs to life and starts to chop wood

"It works", says Kitty, "...gee didn't see that one coming".

"You want to try putting something together in five minutes?", Forge mutters, "It does?..it does! And no other dimensions involved!".

"You did it, you really did it!", says Kitty happily giving him a hug.

"Please don't hug me", says Forge.

"Sorry, got carried away in the moment", says Kitty, clearing her throat.

"Hitch up Jott, girl. I'm off to the fair!", says Forge, before getting concked on the ehad by a flying log, "owww, hey, that didn't happen last time!"

"Todd Fan vasn't so easy vith causing you physical pain last time", points out Kurt, "she's okay with it now, though".

"Oh...goodie", says Forge sarcastically.

Later on in the day, a pantomine horse is attached to a cart, housing the invention.

"This is so degrading Jean", says the horse head, "I think we are being punished for something. I mean, every time Todd Fan has a horse in a parody form now on, we're it!".

"Think yourself lucky you're the head end, Scott", replies the rear, "The view here isn't great".

Kitty and Forge hit them, shutting them up

"Neigh, neigh", says Jott sarcastically.

"And so a legend is born", sniffs Kurt, "and under my vatch too, I'm so honoured".

"Good bye Papa, good luck!", says Kitty, waving as Forge climbs onto Jott's back.

"My....head", squeaks Jean.

"Goodbye, Kitty. And take care while I'm gone", says Forge, "if the lawyers come by, you know to hide in the crawl space!"

Jott pulls off the carriage and Forge, making wheezing noises as it heads off into the distance

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There's another chappie. Do review. Until next time...