Kitty and the Rocktumbler
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Oh, My God! Look, Greg, I've found your mother's heart!"
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ACT FOUR - Lost
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Forge is still in his cart being pulled by Jott, when they get into a dark wood
"We should be there by now", he mutters to himself, "Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken a...wait a minute".
He makes a torch pop out of his false arm and points it a a sign post that is all faded
"I swear I saw something like this in the Blair Witch movie", grumbles Scott.
"It was worth a shot", says Forge with a shrug, "Lets go this way"
Jott looks between two roads. One is dark, gloomy and overgrown with trees while the other is sunny and pleasant, with birds twittering in the trees...Forge happens to want option number one.
"Are you crazy?", squeaks Scott.
"You NEVER take the dark and gloomy route", points out Jean, "that's how you end up dead!".
Forge zaps them with a stun gun
"Neigh", says Jott.
"Come on Jott. It's a shortcut", says Forge with a nod, moving them in that direction, "We'll be there in no time".
"Or we'll all die firey painfull deaths!", whimpers Scott.
They carry on down the dark path...which gets darker and even more gloomy.
"This can't be right", mutters Forge, "Where have you taken us, Jott?".
"Hey, YOU'RE the one that's supposed to be driving us!", snaps Jean.
"We said to take the other route but noooooooo", says Scott, making the horse head do a strange shaking motion.
"You're supposed to be a horse....", says Forge pointedly.
"Neigh, neigh, neigh". says Jott, "Forge is obviously crazy, he's talking to a horse"
"We'd better turn around", says Forge, trying to turn the cart around.
As he does so, a swarm of bats fly out of a tree, and around JOtt's head.
"Run away!", screams Jott.
Jott pegs it, dragging Forge and the cart with it.
"I'm gonna diiiiieeeeee", screams Forge, clinging on for dear life as Jott nearly plunges them down a cliff, "Back up, back up. Stupid horse".
"Forget this, I'm outta here", says Scott
"Ditto", says Jean, "bye Forge, have a nice life"
Jott bucks Forge off and runs off with the cart into the woods
"That's....not a good thing", says Forge, blinking.
Suddenly Sabertooth, Logan and now X23 all appear, dressed as wolves.
"Fresh meat, fresh meat, fresh meat", they growl in unison.
"Oh...bummer", sums up Forge, making a run for it.
He finally makes it to some castle gates and shakes them
"Help! Is someone there?. THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME!".
"Oh we won't eat you", says Sabertooth, "maybe just..maul ya a little bit"
The gate opens by itself and Forge falls in. He slams the gate in the trio's faces, Sabertooth trying to chew off his foot
"Aww come on, i already have a fake arm!", snaps Forge, giving Sabertooth a kick in the nose.
Forge pulls his leg free and walks off towards the castle, leaving a tie-dye bandanna on the floor as he goes. In enters the castle, the door creaking.
"Yeah...that's ominous", he says, glancing around, "Hello? Hello?. Please don't jump out from the shadows and freak me ouuuuut".
On a table are a Candleabra, which looks alot like Pietro and a Clock, which looks like Todd.
"Old fellow mu....".
"Watch it", snaps Forge, glaring at Pietro.
"Sorry", says Pietro sheepishly, "Ahem. Poor guy must have lost his way in the woods".
"Shut up", says Todd out of the side of his mouth, "Not one word. Maybe he'll go away...like that cat".
"Is someone there?", asks Forge, turning at the sound of voices.
"Not a word Pie", warns Todd, "not ONE word".
"I don't mean to intrude on your pad, but I lost my horse and need somewhere to crash for the night", says Forge, adding a pitifull sigh into the bargin.
Pietro looks at Todd like a kid that has just found a three-legged puppy
"Awwwwww Todd, have a heart. Can we keep him? Pleeeeaaaase?".
"Shusssshhhhh!", hisses Todd.
Todd puts his hand over Pietro's mouth, Pietro uses one of his candles to burn Todd's hand, causing him to cry out, releasing Pietro's mouth.
"Of course buddy, you are welcome to stay here", smiles Pietro.
"Who said that?", says Forge, picking up Pietro to use as a light.
"Over here", says Pietro, tapping Forge on the shoulder.
Forge turns and looks confused, seeing nothing)
"Where?".
Pietro taps Forge on the head. Forge looks up at him
"Allo", grins Pietro in a fake French accent.
Forge looks at him for a second, before throwing him to the floor and making his arm into a drill
"Ahhhhhh! Kill it, kill it!", he yells.
"Well NOW ya've done it Pietro!", snaps Todd, hobbling over, "This is just briliant! An' agggghhhh!".
Forge picks up Todd and starts looking him over
"Far out man. How is this acomplished?".
"Put me down, NOW, before I", Todd glares, "....cause ya.....alot....pain, lots of pain".
Forge keeps messing with Todd, poking and prodding him. He opens up Todd's front and messes with the clock arm.
"Close that at ONCE!. Do you mind!", Todd snaps, closing his front, "Honestly, ya wouldn't like it if I poked and prodded that swiss-army knife you have for an appendage!".
"Sorry dude. I just never saw a clock at", Forge pauses, before wrinkling up his nose, "..ahhh...ahahhh..choooo!".
Forge sneezes on Todd, who uses his clock hands to wipe away his window.
"Okay, gross, even for me", says Todd, trying to squirm free.
"Oh you are soaked to the bone monsuier, come, warm yourself by the fire", smiles Pietro, leading Forge away.
"Thanks dude", snuffles Forge, following.
Todd's eyes widen, hopping as well as a clock can after them.
"No, no, no", he growls, "Do ya know what the master would do if he finds you here?"
We see a shadow move across the balcony as the trio walk into another room
"I demand that ya stop..right..there", Todd falls down the stairs, losing cogs as he does so/
He groans, looking up to see Forge settling down in a big comfy chair
"Oh no, not the masters chair!".
A footstool that looks like Rahne in wolf form runs up
"Woof woof", says Rahne happily.
"I am not seeing this, I am not seeing this!". Todd chants like a mantra, rubbing his eyes.
"Woof woof woof", says Rahne, bouncing on Forge.
"Hello there you groovy little hound dog", says Forge, patting her...er..head.
Rahne settles herself under Forge's feet and a coat-rack gives Forge a blanket
"Alright. This has gone far enough! I'm in charge here an'.....", Todd is interupted as he is mowed down by a tea trolley.
The trolley screeches to a stop next to Forge, on it is a blue teapot that looks like Beast in drag.
"The things I do for my art", mutters Beast, "To think, I have to suffer this hulilation all over again. How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time".
He pours some tea into a cup which looks supspisiously like Jamie, who hops into Forge's hand. Todd is still face-down on the carpet.
"No. No tea, no tea!", protests Todd, holding up a hand.
Forge starts to drink from Jamie, who giggles
"His goatee tickles", he says, then pauses, "errr..momma?"
"This is going to be a long fic", sighs Beast.
"Sure is..Mrs Beast", smirks Forge, then blinks at Jamie, "Oh...hello?".
The door suddenly slams open and a strong gust of wind shifts into the room, extingishing the fire and Pietro's candles. Todd dives for cover and Beast shakes. Jamie hides behind Beast
"Uh oh", whispers Jamie.
"What's u'h oh'?". says Forge, wide eyed.
A beast that looks like Lance in a suit stalks in.
"There is a stranger here", he growls.
Pietro hobbles over, relighting his flames
"Ughhh, can't belive i have to call YOU this, here goes", he mutters, before taking a deep breath, "Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and we was cold and wet....".
Lance gives a loud roar, putting out Pietro's flames again. Todd crawls out from under the carpet
"Master, i'd like ta take this moment ta say..", Todd breaks down, "I was against this from the start!. It was all his fault. I tried ta stop them, but would they listen to me? no no no!".
Lance roars again, silencing him. Forge peeks over the top of the chair
"Err...hi Mr Scary Thing", he says with a nervous laugh.
"Who are you? What are you doing here?!", growls Lance.
Forge gives a squeak and falls off the chair, back pedalling away from Lance
"I was lost in the woods and..and....".
"You are not welcome here!", snaps Lance.
"I gathered", says Forge, "Sorry...I'll split....".
"What are you staring at?", says Lance suddenly.
"Somebody's paranoid", sings Kurt.
"Nothing", says Forge, "Nothing at all. Not the big huge monster that wants to kill me...that's for sure".
"So, you've come to stare at the beast have you?!", snarls Lance
"He's not looking at me", points out Hank, rather unhelpfully.
"Look, I'm sorry man, I just wanted a place to stay....", starts Forge.
"I'll give you a place to stay!", growls Lance, dragging Forge off.
"Something tells me not to expect five star accomadation", sighs Forge defeatedly.
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There's another chapter done and dusted. Do review. Until next time...