Well, here's Part 8. Now leave me alone. Heh, I should let you suffer and not write anymore. :Evil Grin: But, I could do that.
-Tabi-chan
Sora ni hirogaru tenshi no koe: Part 8
My body was shaken with fear. I sat huddled and nude in the floor of my shower. Eyeing the bright vividly showing marks. I didn't know what to do. Was what I expirenced rape? I mean, I did want it to a point, but on the other side, I didn't want it like that. I guess the best thing to do is to forget it ever happened. None of it. I picked up the soap and washcloth and begin washing away the evidence. My arms ached badly, but not as bad as the rest of my body. I slowly washed my arms, wincing at the touch and the movement of my other arm.
Slowly I stood. Clasping onto both sides on the shower while doing so. My joints popped and my back cracked. My muscles in my stomach were so sore, I wanted to cry. Crying. Crying shows weakness. I haven't cried in years until now. What have I cried over lately? Riku. Only Riku. His actions have struck my harder than anything before. He likes to get in the mind of lonely people and tries makes them feel like they have someone that cares about them.
Or maybe he wants love, but does not know how he wants it. Maybe, he's scared of a relationship, scared of being left all alone, like me. Maybe he's using me for finding out what he wants. Even though it is hurting me in the worst way, he must find out.
But why me? Why was I his target? I just wanted to die. My heart has suffered so much during the entire month and a half, almost two, he's been here.
The hot water hit my damaged body. It stung badly. I winced. Brightly glowing pink marks trailed down my body along with bruises which overlap the fading ones. I leaned against the back of the shower and embraced myself. I drew in a deep breath and exhaled. I rocked myself and gritted my teeth trying to hold back the sight of tears, something hard to do.
I took in another deep breath and felt the tears welling up in my eyes. The images wouldn't leave my mind. They couldn't. They were etched in. It was one of those things no one could escape. My hair drooped over my eyes when I looked at the tiled floor. I gazed at them. The colors were patterned: white, gray, white gray...and so on. I held back a few tears and steadily turned off the shower and stepped out.
I picked up my towel and wrapped it around my waist. My aching muscles throbbed. What now? What is your next step, Sora? Are you gonna let this keep on, or will you finally become a real man? You maybe gay, but you are not a push over damnit! I looked at the fogged up clock. It was 10:45. I sighed softly, pushing out swears from under my breath.
My head was pounding and my eyes burned from the cried tears. I walked as quick as possible to my room and shut the door, locking it. I opened the drawer and searched for some Ibuprofen. I squinted as I read the label.
Used for:
-headache
-muscular aches
-backaches
-toothaches
-temporarily reduces fever
-minor pain of arthritis
-menstrual cramps
-the common cold
Well, the first three is what I need it for. So I twisted the cap and popped it open, almost dropping the bottle. A few of the pills fall on the floor. I poured a good amount, maybe six my hand and dropped the bottle on the floor, letting the rest spill out. I took in a deep breath and smashed them into my mouth, swallowing all at once in a huge gulp. Quickly searching for something to drink, I spotted an old half bottle of water on the dresser.
I tripped as I ran to it and grabbed the water, unscrewing the cap, and gulping the rest down.
My throat itched badly, I have never been able to take pills dry before. I unlocked the door and went to the kitchen, pouring me another glass of water. I gulped it down as well. I continued doing so until the itching stopped. I shook my head and stumbled back to my room. I slipped on a pair of black pajama pants over my blright red boxers.
By the time I was finished dressing my vision was kinda fuzzy. I slowly waddled to my bed and sat down. I felt my head and I was burning up. I shook my head again and rubbed my eyes. I laid down and looked at the clock. It was already 11:20. I began debating on telling my mom.
No, I shouldn't. She would freak. She already hasn't been the same since my dad left her for another guy. I don't even want to dare thinking what she'd do if she found out her son was also gay and was raped by another guy. The poor thing would have to go to the mental asylum. Mom was not all there. I'm surprised she isn't gay herself. She didn't exactly have the best past with men.
She told me she was raped when she was young many times, my dad left, and now me. I could never tell her. My eyes were getting heavy. I need sleep, but I don't think I could get sleep. I'm too paranoid. Too scared. What if he comes back? I don't think he will, but you never know.
I formed a fetal position and laid my head against the pillow. I heard the faint sound of the door closing and a my mother's voice faint, but able to be understood, "Sweetie, I'm home." I was so happy, but I couldn't move, the pain was becoming stronger, more unbearable. I didn't have to move for the pain to bolt through me. My forearm and my, uh, backside was hurting the most now.
When the pain shocks stopped temporarily, I lifted the covers and saw bright red, glowing whelps from the belt. With the slightest touch made me want to cry. Having to wince with every intake of air was killing me. What am I gonna do?
My eyes had gotten heavier. I slowly closed them, and within minutes I had driven myself to sleep. Still shaken, but it was the only way to escape reality.
CHAPTER 8 COMPLETE!
La la. That all I gotta say. I'm out. :Hopes on Whortince The Estranged Mule and flies into the night.:
-Tabi-chan