Heero POV

In all my life I don't ever remember doing something that went against my training. I don't remember ever caring about anyone. I simply drifted through life without a care for anyone but myself, and I cared very little even for that. I knew that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I would only ever know suffering. Of course, I tried to lessen my suffering by listening to orders and obeying every command I was given, but it was a pathetic way to live.

For a long time, I didn't care at all whether I lived or I died, which is worse than wanting to die or being afraid of death, since you have nothing to hope for.

When I found Shi, it was his eyes that attracted me. I could see in his eyes that he knew death. I could see that he had given death to thousands of creatures, that he was a killer. I could see that he wasn't afraid of death, and yet he chose to live.

He chose to live.

Even without my help I believe that Shi would have lived. It was like he was daring anything to try and kill him. His eyes showed so much emotion, so much life, I envied him. My eyes had gone dead and lifeless long ago.

I took Shi to my room and put him in my bed. That was the best I could do for him. I didn't have any food, being drastically underfed myself, and I couldn't stay with him or he might have been found. All I could do was put him in my bed and leave him there, hoping he could ride it out. I did put my other pair of shorts on him, I had abandoned his in the woods since they were unuseable, but I couldn't give him a shirt since mine had been used as a bandage and I only had two.

I went and told Master J that I had been delayed by a dragon in the forest and forced to hide in a cave. He believed me, but threw me against a wall anyway.

It was barely beginning to get light out when I finished my chores that first day, I sneaked back in the room about two in the morning. I was going to have to be up again in about two hours, but I wasn't worried. It was pretty uncommon for me to sleep more than four hours anyway.

Shi was burning with fever. I tried to cool him off with a wet rag, but only managed to make him start shivering violently. Giving up, I soon slipped under the blankets next to him. I fell asleep almost instantly, only casually aware of the little sounds he made in his sleep.

The next day went better than the first had. I tried to complete all my chores quickly so I could sneak back and see Shi. When I did see him, his fever was gone but he was shivering so violently that I worried he might fall out of bed. Desperately, I tried to get him to drink something.

"Nonde kudasai (Please drink.)," I begged, but it was no use. Soon, I had to give up and go back to work.

I managed to finish work early that night. When I returned, Shi's fever was back and his chills lingered, but they seemed more mild than before. He was sleeping, if not well, more peacefully than he had been. He was constantly making sounds in his sleep, growls, like a big cat, howls, like a wolf, and yips, like a coyote. I was only thankful that these noises were soft, not loud enough to alert anyone to his presence. I was afraid of what might happen to him if he were found. He might be killed to protect the stronghold, or sold off. I had often heard of travel circuses and such that sported odd creatures, but never one like Shi, and I didn't want to see him in a cage. I would also be severely punished if Shi were found, but that was inconsequential.

I climbed into bed next to him and the sounds he made cooed me to sleep.

The next day I had a little less work to do than before, since an ambassador from another stronghold had arrived. The ambassador was supposed to have a meeting with a demon who had been scheduled to arrive and find out why the dragons had come so close to us. The castle was in quite an uproar because he hadn't arrived yet when he should have been here three days ago. It really didn't concern me, all I knew was that I was to keep out of sight of the ambassador, which suited me fine. However, since I was to stay out of sight, that left me open to attack from Dekim and Barton (not Trowa).

Dekim and Barton were both guards at stronghold, though not very good ones. Both of them were huge, burly men. They had a taste for alcohol and sex with just about anything they could get their hands on. In the past few years, they'd set their sights on me.

I had absolutely no interest in either one of the two men. I didn't even have an interest in sex at the time, so I avoided them both as much as I could. Of course, they had managed to catch me on several occasions. Once, Dekim had managed to grab me in one of the halls and shoved his tongue down my throat, another time Barton caught me alone and shoved his fingers up my butt.

Up until that point I hadn't the slightest idea how two men would have sex together. After that it was sort of easy to see, but brought about the new question of why anyone would want to do that. I knew that several men in stronghold who had male lovers and one of them had to be on the bottom. It hurt so bad when Batron put his fingers in me I had trouble waking, why would anyone willingly do that?

The only thing that saved me was that Dekim and Barton didn't want to get caught with me, saying that I was too ugly and I should be grateful that they would even think of taking me. I think that Master J would have chastened them for "inefficient" use of his slave, but I had no solid proof. Also, I found a small hole near the ceiling in my hall. It was just a little crevice where two beams in the ceiling met, but I could see everyone and no one could see me. Often, I would hide from them there. No matter how inefficient using me that way was, I doubted Master J would come and put a stop to it if I got caught.

I managed to sneak into the kitchen and steal some leftover broth for Shi to eat. If the cook caught me, she would probably hit me with the riding crop she kept next to the fireplace to scare off stray dogs. I had become fairly good at sneaking around her and she didn't bother trying to find out who took the extra food unless it was fresh.

I managed to get Shi to eat a few bites, but no more than that. I couldn't help but eat the rest myself, it wasn't often that I got much to eat. Once I finished, I laid down next to Shi for a nap. I had a feeling Master J would call on me for some duty later that night and I wouldn't get much sleep. I laid down and closed my eyes, but sleep would not come and, after a while, Shi started tossing and turning, making little sounds like he was in a nightmare.

"Shi? Diajoubu desu ka? (Shi? Are you alright?)" I asked and he settled a bit at my voice so I continued speaking.

"Namae wa Heero desu. (My name is Heero.) Watashi no tomodachi desu ka? (Will you be my friend?) Doko kara kimashita ka? (Where did you come from?) Doko ni ikimashita ka? (Where were you going?) Nihongo o hanashimasu ka? (Do you speak Japanese?)"

Slowly, we both fell asleep, curled up together like puppies.

I awoke to the sound of a knock on my door and quickly untangled myself from Shi. I wasn't worried about the person barging in since the same person always came to get me and had never entered my room before.

The man stood at my door holding a lantern when I came out. I knew without looking that this was a messenger from Master J. Without saying anything, he turned and led the way down the halls to Master J's room.

I never liked Master J, but I never hated him either. He made me nervous and his arm had this monstrous look to it, but he never did anything cruel just for the fun of it or go out of his way to hurt me. In the end I simply wrote him off as one of those things that you simply have to live with.

Master J was sitting in his chair when the messenger opened the door and pushed me inside, closing the door with a sinister click. His metal hand gleamed in the dim light and my eyes were immediately drawn to it, only to be pulled away when he spoke.

"Boy, I assume you know where the ambassador is staying?" he asked. Of course, I did, I had cleaned the room for him not more than a day ago. Silently, I nodded.

"Then tonight you will sneak into his room tonight and kill him. You may be as messy as you want since we are going to blame his death on a band of thieves that we caught yesterday, but remember that you will have to clean that room later. Do you understand?"

I didn't want to kill while Shi was here. I didn't want to risk showing him how evil I was, but there was nothing I could do about it. Absently, I nodded.

"Ha-Yes."

Master J's metal arm lashed out and struck my face, sending me flying against a wall. In my time spent talking to Shi, I had forgotten that I was not to speak my native tongue and I was paying for it. I fell to my knees and spit out blood, hoping my jaw wasn't broken.

"I told you to forget that language; you will never need it again. You will obey me and never utter a word of that again. Need I retrain you again?" Master J hissed.

I shuttered and closed my eyes, brokenly whispering, "No. Please..."

Flashes of beasts and monsters came to me. Ripping me apart. Eating my insides. Pain. Pain that no one should ever have to feel. And death, so close, but so far. In those broken hours of "retraining" I wished for death. Prayed for it. Begged it to come, but it didn't. Death passed me by only to be replaced with this... emptiness. Nothingness. Apathy.

"Then go do your job!" Master J snapped. I was on my feet and out the door before I even realized it.

Never. Never again. I'd die first.

The ambassador's room was elegant and tasteful. Lavish carpets strewn the floor and velvet blinds kept the moonlight from peeking in the window. Silken draperies hung from the bed and a thick quilt was pulled up to the man's neck, so that I could only see his outline. The man was lying on his stomach, his head tilted to the side so that he could breath. Quickly and carefully, I brought my knife down through the back of his neck, between the vertebrae, severing his spinal cord and throat at the same time, so that he could neither yell nor thrash as he died. In all likelihood, he would never even realize what had happened until he was dead.

Still, no matter how careful I was, blood still sprayed onto my hands, warm from the life it had recently supported. I tried to wipe it off on my clothes as I walked down the narrow hall to my room, but it would not come off. I could only hope that Shi would be asleep when I came in. I didn't want him to know I was a killer.

I entered my room quietly, trying not to awaken Shi. Hopefully, he would sleep until I could get cleaned up...

A thought that was dashed to pieces when Shi propped himself up on his elbow and let his gaze wonder over me, briefly resting on my hands. I felt tears form in my eyes but knew that I could not cry, even if I wanted to, because of my training. So I just stood there, helpless.

What would Shi think of me? Would he even understand what I was? Would he ignore it? Would he hate me? What if he left?

The room was tiny, not larger than a closet, so when Shi reached out to me, he didn't even have to get out of bed to touch me. Gently, he took my hand and pulled me over to sit on the bed, then used the rag that I had cooled him with to wipe the blood off my hands and weakly tugged at my dirty clothes. Quickly, I shrugged out of my clothes and slid into bed beside Shi, who was already half asleep. I couldn't help but cuddle up against him and nearly sighed in happiness when he put his arms around me and pulled me closer. I wasn't sure if Shi even understood what I had done, but he didn't hate me. That was enough for me.

The next day, I was back to a full shift of work. I managed to steal some more food for Shi, who did eat a little more than last time. He even smiled at me before falling asleep again. It seemed that soon he would be back to full health, a fact I had mixed feelings about.

I wanted him back to full health, but I didn't want him to leave me. I tried not to dwell on the issue, but it seemed to prey on my thoughts whenever it could.

Most of my day was spent cleaning the blood from the ambassador's room. He had managed to bleed a lot more than I thought he would. Then I still had dishes and laundry to do, so it was very late by the time I got done.

It was getting light out by the time I headed back for my room. I was exhausted, so I didn't realize that I wasn't alone until a hand grabbed me by the shirt and threw me against a wall, pinning me to it.

"Look here, Barton, looks like someone's up past their bed time," Dekim slurred pressing his face close to mine, "Would you like a goodnight kiss?"

"Maybe we should tuck you in, just to be sure," came Barton's voice from behind him. I knew that nothing was showing on my face, even though my heart was racing. I looked around for some way to escape, but the only way out was passed these two, who each outweighed me by about a hundred pounds. As Dekim leaned down, grabbed my groin, and squeezed the tender flesh, I realized that I might not be able to get out this time. I realized that they might actually take what they wanted from me. They might kill me.

A picture of Shi sprang to my mind and I realized I couldn't allow that to happen.

With all the strength that I had, I shoved Dekim away from me. He fell, more out of surprise than anything. Then I ran as fast as I could.

I had been trained as a soldier and an assassin, I should have been able to take both of the men that were chasing me out in seconds. I had been a soldier and I had been good at it, but years of under feeding and sleep deprivation had taken their toll on me. I didn't stand a chance, so I ran for my room, hoping if I barricaded my door they'd eventually give up.

I managed to get to my room just a second before the two of them did and slammed the door shut, throwing my tattered old dresser in front of it. It only took me a moment to realize it wasn't going to hold. I turned and realized that if those two got in my room, the first thing they'd see was Shi. I grabbed Shi by the arm and tried to pull him from the bed, but he only sat up and looked at me with unconcerned eyes. I tried to make him understand.

"You have to hide! They'll kill you! They can't see you! Go!"

Shi covered my mouth with his hand and stood, pushing me back onto the bed. Briefly, I marveled that he could stand already, but that thought was soon pushed aside by the sound of the door giving way.

Shi must have looked pretty impressive to Dekim and Barton, standing there with his wings stretched out on either side of him, glaring at the two menacingly. They broth froze, the color drained from their faces.

"Demon!" cried Barton and they both bowed before running out of the room shouting for Master J. Briefly, I wondered how much trouble I would be in.

Demon? Who was a demon? Shi? No, that couldn't be right.

Shi turned to me and smiled, then flopped back down on the bed beside me, his little strength having been taxed to its limit. I was still trying to figure out what had just happened when he took my face in his hands and force me to look at him.

"Hajimemashite.(Hello, it's nice to meet you.) Namae wa Duo desu. (My name is Duo.) Nihongo o hanashimasu. (I speak Japanese.) Sore kara, eigo o hanashimasu. (And I speak English.) Russia kara kimashita. (I come from Russia.) Koko ni ikimashita. (I was coming here.) Tomodachi desu. (I will be your friend.)"

I couldn't believe it. I think I might have even blacked out for a second, because the next thing I knew, Shi- no, Duo was right in front of me looking a bit concerned.

"Heero, you alright?" he asked.

"H-hai," I replied just before Master J decided to make his entrance.

"Welcome, Lord Duo. I was not aware you had arrived," Master J said politely. I realized that Duo must be of some great importance if Master J was being nice.

"I was... delayed. I presume that the ambassador from China has arrived?"

"An unfortunate accident occurred while he was sleeping. It seems that a rogue band of thieves as assassinated him, but do not worry, we have them in custody."

"And what would a rogue band of thieves gain by killing an ambassador?"

"I-I will find out their motive soon, I assure you."

"I'm sure. And about your... slave here?" Duo asked indicating me.

"I assure you, he will be punished for this," Master J said harshly. I flinched at the tone.

"The usual punishment for detaining royalty is death," Duo stated, leaning back a on his elbow in an insolent and nonchalant manner. I wondered if this was a dream, or if he really hated me so much that he would say we were friends one minute, then try to kill me the next. Nothing made sense anymore.

"He will be executed tonight," Master J assured, though he did not look pleased at this.

"In that case, can I have him?" Duo asked, just a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. Master J looked about ready to blow his top, but clenched his jaw and ground out, "Of course," before storming out of the room.

What had just happened?

Shi was Duo?

A demon?

A demon more powerful than Master J?

And I now belonged to Duo instead of Ma-... no, J and Master Duo.

As I was desperately trying to get all this to make sense, Duo reached out and gently shut the door, before pulling me down to the bed beside him.

"Go to sleep," he whispered, "You can worry about it tomorrow."

And suddenly, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the feel of Duo's arms around me and the feeling of safety I had. I drifted to sleep.